(no subject)
I tried to forgive and forget. I really did.
But somethings just hurt too much.
Like, I'm not sure what I want to do, really.
I should talk to Dami, but to say what?
I'm angry. I really am very, very angry.
As if it weren't a diss enough that for 4 days, she did absolutely nothing for her one of her "best friend"'s birthday, she then tells me she did nothing all weekend. At no point did she call to say "Let's hang out" no, nothing.
And ever greater slap in the face was that in the morning, she didn't go up to say hi or happy birthday or anything. She went up to everyone else, then stayed away. After 5 minutes, I said hi. The first thing she said was "I cut my hair!"
I tried to just be calm about it, but honestly, I loathed her at that moment with such an intensity. Nothing was apparently a better substitute than being with her "best friend."
And then she was talking about how much she wants to go to Bodies and the Metro Zoo, and how we need to go that weekend. As if my birthday was done and over with, and she couldn't consider that maybe I'd like to do something for it. When I mentioned it, then it was like "Oh, then we'll celebrate your bday in one of those places."
Just like before, I had no say in what I wanted for my birthday.
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I didn't mention any of this to my mother, all I said was "Do you think you can take us to the Bodies exhibit on Saturday?"
And she goes "Who's us?"
I go "Me, Dami, Titi, and Aaron."
She goes "No, I refuse to! Your friends left you on your birthday completely, only calling for like 2 seconds on the day, didn't even get you a birthday gift, didn't tell you what was going on except for Cristina, so fuck all of them. You only forgive and forget because you don't want to hate your friends, but I don't forgive people who don't deserve it. They did you wrong and I will not tolerate you hanging out with people who don't even care about you at all."
And as harsh as what she said was...
I think it's true. I forgave to easily. Cristina, I understood the situation entirely. But the rest? Especially Damarys, who should have done something, but all she did was gave me lame ass excuses and shoved away my feelings?
I can't forgive anymore, I can't. I've tried being repressive, in hopes to make myself less miserable than the way she made me feel last Monday to today, but it's just multiplying itself. I can't be friends with you people anymore, because I don't think I could stand being hurt like that again.
I need friends who actually care about me, and I feel that you all don't. And Cristina, you may say "I'm sorry you feel that way", but I don't think you people feel anything for me.
Nobody wanted to celebrate my birthday with me, and after the day passed, everyone forgot that they even left me alone.
Damarys wanted to go to Bodies not because it was my birthday, but because she wanted to go. Same with Metro Zoo. Nobody thought "Gee, we completely ruined Alondra's birthday and perhaps we should make it up to her since we can."
No, you just let me cry all alone and think just wishing a happy birthday is enough.
I had a miserable time, and I'm not going to forget this. It hurts just thinking about how inconsiderate you all were.
As a last request, tell Damarys this, because I don't think I ever want to talk to her ever again.
But somethings just hurt too much.
Like, I'm not sure what I want to do, really.
I should talk to Dami, but to say what?
I'm angry. I really am very, very angry.
As if it weren't a diss enough that for 4 days, she did absolutely nothing for her one of her "best friend"'s birthday, she then tells me she did nothing all weekend. At no point did she call to say "Let's hang out" no, nothing.
And ever greater slap in the face was that in the morning, she didn't go up to say hi or happy birthday or anything. She went up to everyone else, then stayed away. After 5 minutes, I said hi. The first thing she said was "I cut my hair!"
I tried to just be calm about it, but honestly, I loathed her at that moment with such an intensity. Nothing was apparently a better substitute than being with her "best friend."
And then she was talking about how much she wants to go to Bodies and the Metro Zoo, and how we need to go that weekend. As if my birthday was done and over with, and she couldn't consider that maybe I'd like to do something for it. When I mentioned it, then it was like "Oh, then we'll celebrate your bday in one of those places."
Just like before, I had no say in what I wanted for my birthday.
=\
I didn't mention any of this to my mother, all I said was "Do you think you can take us to the Bodies exhibit on Saturday?"
And she goes "Who's us?"
I go "Me, Dami, Titi, and Aaron."
She goes "No, I refuse to! Your friends left you on your birthday completely, only calling for like 2 seconds on the day, didn't even get you a birthday gift, didn't tell you what was going on except for Cristina, so fuck all of them. You only forgive and forget because you don't want to hate your friends, but I don't forgive people who don't deserve it. They did you wrong and I will not tolerate you hanging out with people who don't even care about you at all."
And as harsh as what she said was...
I think it's true. I forgave to easily. Cristina, I understood the situation entirely. But the rest? Especially Damarys, who should have done something, but all she did was gave me lame ass excuses and shoved away my feelings?
I can't forgive anymore, I can't. I've tried being repressive, in hopes to make myself less miserable than the way she made me feel last Monday to today, but it's just multiplying itself. I can't be friends with you people anymore, because I don't think I could stand being hurt like that again.
I need friends who actually care about me, and I feel that you all don't. And Cristina, you may say "I'm sorry you feel that way", but I don't think you people feel anything for me.
Nobody wanted to celebrate my birthday with me, and after the day passed, everyone forgot that they even left me alone.
Damarys wanted to go to Bodies not because it was my birthday, but because she wanted to go. Same with Metro Zoo. Nobody thought "Gee, we completely ruined Alondra's birthday and perhaps we should make it up to her since we can."
No, you just let me cry all alone and think just wishing a happy birthday is enough.
I had a miserable time, and I'm not going to forget this. It hurts just thinking about how inconsiderate you all were.
As a last request, tell Damarys this, because I don't think I ever want to talk to her ever again.