Pro-Regression Party and You
Hello, my name is Dio and I am a member of the Pro-Regression Party. Lately the PRP has been thrilled with the decisions procured by a demonstratively brilliant US government.
For those of you unfamiliar with the PRP, allow me to introduce us in all of our glory. The PRP is a group committed to restoring the government back to a state reminiscent of the highlight of human development - the Middle Ages. We believe that retrogression is the only way to effectively save families, morals, and the world. In the Middle Ages you had good God-fearing men and women, cohesive family units, and work ethic. Now you have welfare, divorce rates sky-rocketing, and the ruination of children from their mother’s working.
What can all these horrible things be traced back to?
Progress.
That’s right, the thing that those liberals so blatantly call “progress” is really a progression into decadence and immorality for the whole human race.
Our Successes Against Progress:
1. Women-
We’ve confused women about their proper place, allowing them to think that they are men’s equals, when in fact they are far inferior. This raises their hopes and allows them to believe that they should be working outside of their sphere. It has even led to them thinking that they have rights over their bodies. In accordance with moral thinking, this is horribly incorrect. Since women is made from a rib of Adam, she is technically his bodily property and thus, much like an animal, needs to be controlled in order to protect her. Therefore, women are never in the right place to decide how their bodies should be managed. We are very relieved by South Dakota’s latest decree - because abortions should never be allowed unless the mother is going to die. Women can’t decide anything unless their doctor’s say it’s life-threatening. Mental health, rape, and incest should not be factors because if a woman got raped she deserved it for wearing the wrong thing, if incest occurred it is because Satan had influenced her family members and the unborn fetus living off its mother’s body shouldn’t be punished, and women are all fragile so determining a weak mental state is impossible. Try to remember our slogan Pro-Choice = Pro-Chaos.
Forget about raising poverty rates, unemployment, and the many other factors that the liberals claim create a rise in crime, women have never worked until about the last forty years and look at what has happened to today’s youth. You do not need to be an expert to determine that women are not completing their maternal duties. If women did not work, they would have enough energy for their spousal duties as well - not keeping their men properly satisfied is the main reason for divorce in this country. We at the PRP are fighting to put women back where they belong - the many rooms of the house.
2. Sexual Orientation-
In addition to South Dakota’s wonderful regressive outlook, we have Utah as another excellent example of the work of the PRP. Passing a set of laws against hate-crimes and leaving out crimes against sexual orientation is a great example of that for which our party stands. Homosexuality, bisexuality, and anything else out of the heteronormative spectrum is immoral. There is no such thing as “sexual orientation,” because this implies that there is more than one sexuality, which, as we can prove scientifically through looking at the success rates of reparative therapy is wrong. These inclinations and behaviors are simply environmental factors, and while we do not necessarily advocate the burning of these individuals as our Medieval ancestors did, we do not see any reason to protect them when they do not want to fix these behaviors. Of course there are the organizations that will argue this, the APA, various mental health professionals, but what do they know? They were paid off by the deviants!
However, we as a party believe that bestiality should be allowed. Since women are controllable animals, we believe that sex between man and animal is acceptable, as long as the animal is not of the same sex.
3. Crusades War-
Also, we are pleased with our government’s intervention in Iraq. Much like the crusaders, we believe that it is our obligation to protect our believed nation from heathens and to force our thoughts of how things should be on everyone else.
A Main Failure to Regression:
1. No Mobs-
Last, the PRP was extremely disappointed by the latest law in one particular state banning Phelps from taking his protestors right up to the families of those that died in the Iraqi War and protesting. We believe, in congruence with our thoughts on Middle Age superiority, that loud, obnoxious mobs are crucial to societal regression. Protesting a funeral because this country allows all forms of immorality, is both an excellent time and forum for being crude, insensitive, and promoting exceptional moral stringency. Death was not respected in the Middle Ages, why should we respect it now?
In conclusion, these past 6 years have been very successful for the PRP. We hope to see these regressions continue for many years into the future.
For those of you unfamiliar with the PRP, allow me to introduce us in all of our glory. The PRP is a group committed to restoring the government back to a state reminiscent of the highlight of human development - the Middle Ages. We believe that retrogression is the only way to effectively save families, morals, and the world. In the Middle Ages you had good God-fearing men and women, cohesive family units, and work ethic. Now you have welfare, divorce rates sky-rocketing, and the ruination of children from their mother’s working.
What can all these horrible things be traced back to?
Progress.
That’s right, the thing that those liberals so blatantly call “progress” is really a progression into decadence and immorality for the whole human race.
Our Successes Against Progress:
1. Women-
We’ve confused women about their proper place, allowing them to think that they are men’s equals, when in fact they are far inferior. This raises their hopes and allows them to believe that they should be working outside of their sphere. It has even led to them thinking that they have rights over their bodies. In accordance with moral thinking, this is horribly incorrect. Since women is made from a rib of Adam, she is technically his bodily property and thus, much like an animal, needs to be controlled in order to protect her. Therefore, women are never in the right place to decide how their bodies should be managed. We are very relieved by South Dakota’s latest decree - because abortions should never be allowed unless the mother is going to die. Women can’t decide anything unless their doctor’s say it’s life-threatening. Mental health, rape, and incest should not be factors because if a woman got raped she deserved it for wearing the wrong thing, if incest occurred it is because Satan had influenced her family members and the unborn fetus living off its mother’s body shouldn’t be punished, and women are all fragile so determining a weak mental state is impossible. Try to remember our slogan Pro-Choice = Pro-Chaos.
Forget about raising poverty rates, unemployment, and the many other factors that the liberals claim create a rise in crime, women have never worked until about the last forty years and look at what has happened to today’s youth. You do not need to be an expert to determine that women are not completing their maternal duties. If women did not work, they would have enough energy for their spousal duties as well - not keeping their men properly satisfied is the main reason for divorce in this country. We at the PRP are fighting to put women back where they belong - the many rooms of the house.
2. Sexual Orientation-
In addition to South Dakota’s wonderful regressive outlook, we have Utah as another excellent example of the work of the PRP. Passing a set of laws against hate-crimes and leaving out crimes against sexual orientation is a great example of that for which our party stands. Homosexuality, bisexuality, and anything else out of the heteronormative spectrum is immoral. There is no such thing as “sexual orientation,” because this implies that there is more than one sexuality, which, as we can prove scientifically through looking at the success rates of reparative therapy is wrong. These inclinations and behaviors are simply environmental factors, and while we do not necessarily advocate the burning of these individuals as our Medieval ancestors did, we do not see any reason to protect them when they do not want to fix these behaviors. Of course there are the organizations that will argue this, the APA, various mental health professionals, but what do they know? They were paid off by the deviants!
However, we as a party believe that bestiality should be allowed. Since women are controllable animals, we believe that sex between man and animal is acceptable, as long as the animal is not of the same sex.
3. Crusades War-
Also, we are pleased with our government’s intervention in Iraq. Much like the crusaders, we believe that it is our obligation to protect our believed nation from heathens and to force our thoughts of how things should be on everyone else.
A Main Failure to Regression:
1. No Mobs-
Last, the PRP was extremely disappointed by the latest law in one particular state banning Phelps from taking his protestors right up to the families of those that died in the Iraqi War and protesting. We believe, in congruence with our thoughts on Middle Age superiority, that loud, obnoxious mobs are crucial to societal regression. Protesting a funeral because this country allows all forms of immorality, is both an excellent time and forum for being crude, insensitive, and promoting exceptional moral stringency. Death was not respected in the Middle Ages, why should we respect it now?
In conclusion, these past 6 years have been very successful for the PRP. We hope to see these regressions continue for many years into the future.