"I am not a witch"
...Or at least so says Tea Party darling Christine O'Donnell, candidate for the U.S. Senate from Delaware. I admit, witch probably wasn't the word I had in mind...
All kidding aside, though, she also apparently thinks that China is plotting to take over the country. She claims that this assertion is based on classified information that she was privy to for some unknown reason--highly unlikely, considering that it's usual for people to have to undergo extensive psychological screening before being given access to such information.
And then, of course, there's the whole "need to know" concept.
Bottom line, she can't divulge exactly why she thinks China is such a threat. However, my sources--which I cannot divulge due the classified nature of my interviews with these unknown shadowy people (wink wink)--confirm that Ms. O'Donnell was briefed in on the grave threat from China by means of a secret code transmitted through the snap/crackle/pop of her morning Rice Krispies via an extremely low frequency communications beam originating from a secret CIA submarine hidden in the waters of Chesapeake Bay.
I'm sorry, I almost forgot--I promised to be serious. OK then.
With her defeat of Mike Castle, one of the last Republican moderates, Ms. O'Donnell has become the latest in a long line of climate change deniers running under the banner of the Tea Party. In fact, with Mr. Castle gone, every Republican in the U.S. Senate will now likely be opposed to measures to combat climate change. Who benefits from that? Well, the powerful corporate lobbying interests that are largely behind the Tea Party, for one--putting the lie to the popular fiction that this is some kind of spontaneous grassroots movement.
Is that serious enough for you?
All kidding aside, though, she also apparently thinks that China is plotting to take over the country. She claims that this assertion is based on classified information that she was privy to for some unknown reason--highly unlikely, considering that it's usual for people to have to undergo extensive psychological screening before being given access to such information.
And then, of course, there's the whole "need to know" concept.
Bottom line, she can't divulge exactly why she thinks China is such a threat. However, my sources--which I cannot divulge due the classified nature of my interviews with these unknown shadowy people (wink wink)--confirm that Ms. O'Donnell was briefed in on the grave threat from China by means of a secret code transmitted through the snap/crackle/pop of her morning Rice Krispies via an extremely low frequency communications beam originating from a secret CIA submarine hidden in the waters of Chesapeake Bay.
I'm sorry, I almost forgot--I promised to be serious. OK then.
With her defeat of Mike Castle, one of the last Republican moderates, Ms. O'Donnell has become the latest in a long line of climate change deniers running under the banner of the Tea Party. In fact, with Mr. Castle gone, every Republican in the U.S. Senate will now likely be opposed to measures to combat climate change. Who benefits from that? Well, the powerful corporate lobbying interests that are largely behind the Tea Party, for one--putting the lie to the popular fiction that this is some kind of spontaneous grassroots movement.
Is that serious enough for you?