To Jasetsi, from Urania-chan ♥
Title: Stargazing
Author: urania_chan
Recipient: jasetsi
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters/Pairing: FaiYuui, KuroFai(Yuui)
Rating: PG
Author Notes/Warnings: Set in Piffle, but there are spoilers up to chapter, uh, 165 or something? Let’s just say up to the current chapters. Um, jasetsi, this is probably not what you wanted, but it’s the only thing that I could think of, I’m sorry. *bows*
Stargazing
“Come on, Fay, we’re almost there!” the pale boy shouted breathlessly as he tugged at his brother’s sleeve, making him stumble slightly. “We’re so far away you can’t even hear the ladies laughing anymore.”
“That’s quite far,” Fay offered as he was practically dragged along, “but don’t you think we should go back? Mother will worry.”
“It’s right over there. It would be stupid to go back now,” the boy said as he turned around, the excited smile still tugging at his lips, “and I don’t think she‘ll even notice we’re gone...”
“Yuui...” The whisper was quiet, a whisper like the ones people use who are about to reveal a secret of great importance, but was cut off by another tug at his coat and another smile. When Fay returned it, it seemed a little off, almost as if both boys knew that there was more truth behind their words than they’d like to admit. But they kept silent and let the moment be, for they knew it would eventually fade into repression.
When they stood on top of the highest of the snowy hills minutes later, hands clutched together in a feeble attempt to resist the chill, and watched their breath fog in the icy midnight air, they had already forgotten. But they would never forget how bright the stars shone that night, glittering like myriads of crystals scattered in the dark.
The minutes trickled by, and neither of them dared to speak up, afraid to break the spell they were sure had to be lying on the snow and the sky and the stars.
This was one of those moments that could last an eternity, Yuui decided. If they just stayed here forever, never went home, never went to sleep, then this night would go on and on and on, and they’d never have to go home again. It would be nice, watching the stars flare and twinkle for the rest of their lives, here where no voices could reach them, where there weren’t any accusations or yells or anything at all that made Fay and him sad. It would be nice staying together.
Feeling confident, Yuui squeezed Fay’s hands even tighter.
It was Fay who eventually looked down, and let go of his brother’s hands.
“Let’s go home.”
Yuui glanced at him nervously, and after hesitating just a little, he finally whispered, “We don’t have to.”
“Of course we do,” Fay said, his voice reasonable.
“No, we can just stay here, and everything will be alright!” Yuui cried almost desperately, and wasn’t quite sure why the urge to convince Fay to simply stay was so overwhelming. He wanted to tell Fay of eternity and everlasting night and just the two of them. He wanted to say that if Fay just listened to him, everything would really be alright.
Before Yuui could say anything, Fay had turned around and grasped his hand again.
“We can’t do this to Mother. She is probably already worried.” And then he began to walk away, and this time it was him that was dragging Yuui along.
“No, she isn’t,” Yuui muttered almost petulantly but he followed Fay anyway.
When they came back her mother hugged and scolded them, told them not to run away and that now they weren’t allowed outside anymore more because she had missed them, and if she had to fear for them like that again, it’d surely break her heart. It was one of those moments the twins were genuinely happy.
Later, Fay would find out that it had been their father’s, rather than mother’s, wish for them to remain inside the castle because he didn’t want to let them to spill misfortune onto his country’s earth or curse its innocent residents. But even then, when Fay knew the truth, he still wouldn’t tell Yuui, so at least for him his mother could remain a fond memory.
They would sit on a balcony and watch the stars when they weren’t allowed outside anymore. Neither of them could say why or how it had become a habit, and yet they sat on the cold flagstones every evening, pressed together as close as they could to escape the iciness that was eating away at them, and faced the night sky.
It was peaceful, it was comforting, it was like the good night song they didn’t quite remember but they somehow knew had been there. They let the tranquility soothe them, and even though it was freezing, sometimes one of them fell asleep leaning against the other. When it was Fay, Yuui woke him right away, afraid that sleep could be a sign of illness, and they hurried back inside. When it was Yuui, Fay always stayed there just a little bit longer, and secretly gaze into the night.
---
As he silently climbed the hill on the outskirts, having fled the bright city lights that turned the sky into a blind mélange of smoke and dust, Fay remembered.
He wasn’t quite sure why he had suddenly felt the old urge to simply look at the stars, but when he had stood in front of the house they currently occupied, and facing the sky had seen nothing except for a what looked like reddish fog, it had tugged at him. And he had followed.
With every step that led him further away from the glaring orange lights that that made the city look ablaze from a distance , memories surfaced. Memories which he had thought had been forgotten a long time ago, lost together with everything else.
He remembered two children grabbing each other’s hands desperately, refusing to kill, determined to stay together, and he wondered how in the end it had come to this.
He remembered that there had been a time when he’d never been alone, when he couldn’t entirely grasp the concept of loneliness or even imagine what it felt like.
He remembered that when being imprisoned he still hadn’t felt lonely because he knew that Fay was watching over him from the tower’s window, clutching the iron bars.
He remembered a time when he had thought if he could only make it out there alive, everything would be alright.
Trudging uphill he noticed that, even out here, the night sky looked oddly dim. Barely any constellations were visible, just a few dots of light that looked as if they’d been strewn randomly in the dark, and even if there was hardly any resemblance to Celes’ night sky, Fay still couldn’t shake the familiarity he felt.
He plopped down onto the grass and laid down, folding his hands behind his head. A sigh escaped his lips as he rose his eyes to the stars.
Somehow the memories tasted bitter now, tainted by betrayal and murder.
---
He tried to climb the high walls, his hands frantically scrambling at the bricks, getting raw and bloody, but he didn’t care as long as he could reach Fay. He was almost glad, when his fingers went numb with frostbite.
Yuui wanted to embrace Fay so badly, he imagined if he ever got to touch him again, he would cling to him and never let go. Therefore he couldn’t give up, and even when he lost his grip on the wall and fell down for the hundredth time, he still tried time and again. And he wouldn’t stop trying, not now, not ever.
When Yuui got tired and his muscles ached too much to even let him raise his arms, he’d lie down among the corpses and rest. He was glad that he still had his voice left, to call out to Fay. When lying in the snow motionless, he often feared it was the only thing distinguishing him from the dead. So he cried out, screamed and shouted Fay’s name, everything to convince them that he was alive, and even when his voice was so hoarse it actually hurt only to whisper he still wouldn’t remain silent, taking the pain as another proof that there was hope left.
Sometimes he heard his brother’s voice reaching back to him. It was then that he could fall asleep, knowing that he wasn’t alone, that Fay had not given up either.
The first time Yuui had tried to sleep in the valley, he had lain on his back to look at the stars. But even when he had squinted his eyes or stared at the sky without blinking for what felt like hours, he still couldn’t catch a glimpse of even the tiniest trace of light.
He rolled over on his stomach and closed his eyes, letting himself fall into the darkness that was Valeria.
---
Fay couldn’t tell how long he’d been lying there - in fact, it really didn’t matter to him - as he heard heavy footsteps approach.
“What are you doing here?”
He smiled a little to himself as he heard the gruff voice that couldn’t quite hide the concern.
“I told you I’d like to talk a walk, Kuro-pyon.”
Kurogane apparently decided to ignore the use of the nickname and instead simply stated, “So you wandered off.”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t you ‘maybe’ me! You said you’d be right back!” Kurogane snapped and, with that, finally made Fay look at him.
A wry smile curved his lips. “I said that, didn’t I?”
Kurogane practically growled through clenched teeth, “And that was two hours ago.”
“Oh well, can’t be helped,” Fay laughed softly and resumed staring at the stars without any further glance at the man standing beside him.
Torn between going away and sitting down, Kurogane eventually decided a compromise would do best and simply continued standing there and glaring at Fay. It may have felt a little awkward, but if Fay wouldn’t do anything about it (like stand up and follow him home), Kurogane certainly wouldn’t either.
But Fay didn’t do anything, he didn’t even talk, and where Fay was concerned that usually meant that he was actually thinking, and Kurogane wouldn’t let this, the opportunity to get to know something about Fay, pass without, well, getting to know something. And for that, direct confrontation was the only thing Kurogane could think of, and so after another minute of silence he spoke up, “Oi, what are you thinking about?”
When Fay turned to him, an amused look on his face, Kurogane realized that the question may have been a little clichéd, but damn it, it was what he wanted to know. He felt somewhat relieved when he saw he saw that Fay actually contemplated his answer to this.
His usual smile seemed almost gone, only the faintest trace left, when he eventually answered, “The stars are far away aren’t they, Kuro-tan?”
“Yes, they are,” he replied simply, and waited for Fay to continue. When there wasn’t any indication that he’d do so, Kurogane had to admit that he grew a little impatient. He cleared his throat loudly (which may have been a little beneath his dignity, but that was beside the point here) and, when that still didn’t show the desired results, he growled a pretty warning “You...”.
Fay propped himself up on his elbows flashing Kurogane a brilliant grin and the teasing in his voice was back. “What? You surely weren’t expecting deep thoughts from someone as silly as me?”
“I won’t let you hide like that.” And with his gaze leveled at Fay, the conviction in Kurogane’s voice was firm.
Fay closed his eyes sighing, “I know, Kuro-sama.”
Author: urania_chan
Recipient: jasetsi
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters/Pairing: FaiYuui, KuroFai(Yuui)
Rating: PG
Author Notes/Warnings: Set in Piffle, but there are spoilers up to chapter, uh, 165 or something? Let’s just say up to the current chapters. Um, jasetsi, this is probably not what you wanted, but it’s the only thing that I could think of, I’m sorry. *bows*
Stargazing
“Come on, Fay, we’re almost there!” the pale boy shouted breathlessly as he tugged at his brother’s sleeve, making him stumble slightly. “We’re so far away you can’t even hear the ladies laughing anymore.”
“That’s quite far,” Fay offered as he was practically dragged along, “but don’t you think we should go back? Mother will worry.”
“It’s right over there. It would be stupid to go back now,” the boy said as he turned around, the excited smile still tugging at his lips, “and I don’t think she‘ll even notice we’re gone...”
“Yuui...” The whisper was quiet, a whisper like the ones people use who are about to reveal a secret of great importance, but was cut off by another tug at his coat and another smile. When Fay returned it, it seemed a little off, almost as if both boys knew that there was more truth behind their words than they’d like to admit. But they kept silent and let the moment be, for they knew it would eventually fade into repression.
When they stood on top of the highest of the snowy hills minutes later, hands clutched together in a feeble attempt to resist the chill, and watched their breath fog in the icy midnight air, they had already forgotten. But they would never forget how bright the stars shone that night, glittering like myriads of crystals scattered in the dark.
The minutes trickled by, and neither of them dared to speak up, afraid to break the spell they were sure had to be lying on the snow and the sky and the stars.
This was one of those moments that could last an eternity, Yuui decided. If they just stayed here forever, never went home, never went to sleep, then this night would go on and on and on, and they’d never have to go home again. It would be nice, watching the stars flare and twinkle for the rest of their lives, here where no voices could reach them, where there weren’t any accusations or yells or anything at all that made Fay and him sad. It would be nice staying together.
Feeling confident, Yuui squeezed Fay’s hands even tighter.
It was Fay who eventually looked down, and let go of his brother’s hands.
“Let’s go home.”
Yuui glanced at him nervously, and after hesitating just a little, he finally whispered, “We don’t have to.”
“Of course we do,” Fay said, his voice reasonable.
“No, we can just stay here, and everything will be alright!” Yuui cried almost desperately, and wasn’t quite sure why the urge to convince Fay to simply stay was so overwhelming. He wanted to tell Fay of eternity and everlasting night and just the two of them. He wanted to say that if Fay just listened to him, everything would really be alright.
Before Yuui could say anything, Fay had turned around and grasped his hand again.
“We can’t do this to Mother. She is probably already worried.” And then he began to walk away, and this time it was him that was dragging Yuui along.
“No, she isn’t,” Yuui muttered almost petulantly but he followed Fay anyway.
When they came back her mother hugged and scolded them, told them not to run away and that now they weren’t allowed outside anymore more because she had missed them, and if she had to fear for them like that again, it’d surely break her heart. It was one of those moments the twins were genuinely happy.
Later, Fay would find out that it had been their father’s, rather than mother’s, wish for them to remain inside the castle because he didn’t want to let them to spill misfortune onto his country’s earth or curse its innocent residents. But even then, when Fay knew the truth, he still wouldn’t tell Yuui, so at least for him his mother could remain a fond memory.
They would sit on a balcony and watch the stars when they weren’t allowed outside anymore. Neither of them could say why or how it had become a habit, and yet they sat on the cold flagstones every evening, pressed together as close as they could to escape the iciness that was eating away at them, and faced the night sky.
It was peaceful, it was comforting, it was like the good night song they didn’t quite remember but they somehow knew had been there. They let the tranquility soothe them, and even though it was freezing, sometimes one of them fell asleep leaning against the other. When it was Fay, Yuui woke him right away, afraid that sleep could be a sign of illness, and they hurried back inside. When it was Yuui, Fay always stayed there just a little bit longer, and secretly gaze into the night.
---
As he silently climbed the hill on the outskirts, having fled the bright city lights that turned the sky into a blind mélange of smoke and dust, Fay remembered.
He wasn’t quite sure why he had suddenly felt the old urge to simply look at the stars, but when he had stood in front of the house they currently occupied, and facing the sky had seen nothing except for a what looked like reddish fog, it had tugged at him. And he had followed.
With every step that led him further away from the glaring orange lights that that made the city look ablaze from a distance , memories surfaced. Memories which he had thought had been forgotten a long time ago, lost together with everything else.
He remembered two children grabbing each other’s hands desperately, refusing to kill, determined to stay together, and he wondered how in the end it had come to this.
He remembered that there had been a time when he’d never been alone, when he couldn’t entirely grasp the concept of loneliness or even imagine what it felt like.
He remembered that when being imprisoned he still hadn’t felt lonely because he knew that Fay was watching over him from the tower’s window, clutching the iron bars.
He remembered a time when he had thought if he could only make it out there alive, everything would be alright.
Trudging uphill he noticed that, even out here, the night sky looked oddly dim. Barely any constellations were visible, just a few dots of light that looked as if they’d been strewn randomly in the dark, and even if there was hardly any resemblance to Celes’ night sky, Fay still couldn’t shake the familiarity he felt.
He plopped down onto the grass and laid down, folding his hands behind his head. A sigh escaped his lips as he rose his eyes to the stars.
Somehow the memories tasted bitter now, tainted by betrayal and murder.
---
He tried to climb the high walls, his hands frantically scrambling at the bricks, getting raw and bloody, but he didn’t care as long as he could reach Fay. He was almost glad, when his fingers went numb with frostbite.
Yuui wanted to embrace Fay so badly, he imagined if he ever got to touch him again, he would cling to him and never let go. Therefore he couldn’t give up, and even when he lost his grip on the wall and fell down for the hundredth time, he still tried time and again. And he wouldn’t stop trying, not now, not ever.
When Yuui got tired and his muscles ached too much to even let him raise his arms, he’d lie down among the corpses and rest. He was glad that he still had his voice left, to call out to Fay. When lying in the snow motionless, he often feared it was the only thing distinguishing him from the dead. So he cried out, screamed and shouted Fay’s name, everything to convince them that he was alive, and even when his voice was so hoarse it actually hurt only to whisper he still wouldn’t remain silent, taking the pain as another proof that there was hope left.
Sometimes he heard his brother’s voice reaching back to him. It was then that he could fall asleep, knowing that he wasn’t alone, that Fay had not given up either.
The first time Yuui had tried to sleep in the valley, he had lain on his back to look at the stars. But even when he had squinted his eyes or stared at the sky without blinking for what felt like hours, he still couldn’t catch a glimpse of even the tiniest trace of light.
He rolled over on his stomach and closed his eyes, letting himself fall into the darkness that was Valeria.
---
Fay couldn’t tell how long he’d been lying there - in fact, it really didn’t matter to him - as he heard heavy footsteps approach.
“What are you doing here?”
He smiled a little to himself as he heard the gruff voice that couldn’t quite hide the concern.
“I told you I’d like to talk a walk, Kuro-pyon.”
Kurogane apparently decided to ignore the use of the nickname and instead simply stated, “So you wandered off.”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t you ‘maybe’ me! You said you’d be right back!” Kurogane snapped and, with that, finally made Fay look at him.
A wry smile curved his lips. “I said that, didn’t I?”
Kurogane practically growled through clenched teeth, “And that was two hours ago.”
“Oh well, can’t be helped,” Fay laughed softly and resumed staring at the stars without any further glance at the man standing beside him.
Torn between going away and sitting down, Kurogane eventually decided a compromise would do best and simply continued standing there and glaring at Fay. It may have felt a little awkward, but if Fay wouldn’t do anything about it (like stand up and follow him home), Kurogane certainly wouldn’t either.
But Fay didn’t do anything, he didn’t even talk, and where Fay was concerned that usually meant that he was actually thinking, and Kurogane wouldn’t let this, the opportunity to get to know something about Fay, pass without, well, getting to know something. And for that, direct confrontation was the only thing Kurogane could think of, and so after another minute of silence he spoke up, “Oi, what are you thinking about?”
When Fay turned to him, an amused look on his face, Kurogane realized that the question may have been a little clichéd, but damn it, it was what he wanted to know. He felt somewhat relieved when he saw he saw that Fay actually contemplated his answer to this.
His usual smile seemed almost gone, only the faintest trace left, when he eventually answered, “The stars are far away aren’t they, Kuro-tan?”
“Yes, they are,” he replied simply, and waited for Fay to continue. When there wasn’t any indication that he’d do so, Kurogane had to admit that he grew a little impatient. He cleared his throat loudly (which may have been a little beneath his dignity, but that was beside the point here) and, when that still didn’t show the desired results, he growled a pretty warning “You...”.
Fay propped himself up on his elbows flashing Kurogane a brilliant grin and the teasing in his voice was back. “What? You surely weren’t expecting deep thoughts from someone as silly as me?”
“I won’t let you hide like that.” And with his gaze leveled at Fay, the conviction in Kurogane’s voice was firm.
Fay closed his eyes sighing, “I know, Kuro-sama.”