To Youkohiei Fan, From Bernard ♥
Title: Sleepless
Author: darksage29
Recipient: youkohiei_fan
Series: TRC
Characters/Pairing: Asura-ou/Yasha-ou
Rating: T
She paced the floor of her room, her thoughts were amiss... She did not know what to do, let alone do the proper thing... She was just going back and forth in the moonlight... contemplating... meditating...
She knew she had to do something, but what?
...After all, he’s dead.
She lay down on her bed for what seemed like the thirteenth time that night. The sheets were in disarray, and the pillows were everywhere. Her bed was too warm: its occupant tossing and turning all over it all night not finding sleep. Ashura gripped a fistful of hair and tugged on it in frustration: Why couldn’t she sleep?
She buried her head in a pillow. It was too warm, and soaked in tears.
She hugged another one, pretending it was him... This time, it was too cold, too small, too inanimate to be the slightest sliver of him.
Why?
She pulled the blankets over herself up to her chest and sighed. Looking at the dark ceiling, she imagined his face.
It drove her nuts not being able to sleep at night. Maybe that was the reason behind her not being able to focus properly on her day-to-day battles.
“The battles... I must win the next one... And the castle in the sky will be mine.” She said. “And then he will live again.” She said it out louder than she should have and instantly covered her mouth. Realizing there was no one to hear it aside from her, she released her mouth and hugged a pillow again.
She started to cry.
Crying was just about the last thing she was able to do to regain her sanity and her sleep. Tears would flow on endlessly, night after night after night. It became repetitive, even redundant. Sometimes she wondered whether it’s the sheer exhaustion of crying out her emotions or simply the boredom of having to cry every night that lulls her to sleep.
For a moment she thought the idea was silly, and she chuckled.
But after chuckling and laughing momentarily, she remembered how she used to laugh with him, and it pained her so.
Why?
“Yasha” She whispered, and proceeded to kiss an invisible lover. She felt no lips next to hers, and it frustrated her. She slammed her lips into the mattress, just to feel some pressure against her aching lips. It seemed silly of her... It’s as if she was being driven mad with such a cruel fate.
Mad with Love... She didn’t want to use the term. She was a leader, and to be insane would be the most humiliating thing to happen to her. No, she needed to be strong. She needed to e determined for the sake of protecting the welfare of her people.
But who would protect her welfare?
She wiped tears from her eyes for the eighteenth time after she started weeping. It was like counting her tears instead of sheep.
She closed her eyes, sending a flurry of tears down her cheeks.
Twenty-one... Twenty-two...Twenty-three...Twenty-four....
It became like a game... A cruel, sadistic game she was playing.
“Tomorrow, I will win the battle... And the castle in the sky shall be mine... And my wish will be granted.”
She reformed her resolve to fight the one she truly loves...
“And I will be with him.”
With that, she continued to cry herself to sleep.
Author: darksage29
Recipient: youkohiei_fan
Series: TRC
Characters/Pairing: Asura-ou/Yasha-ou
Rating: T
She paced the floor of her room, her thoughts were amiss... She did not know what to do, let alone do the proper thing... She was just going back and forth in the moonlight... contemplating... meditating...
She knew she had to do something, but what?
...After all, he’s dead.
She lay down on her bed for what seemed like the thirteenth time that night. The sheets were in disarray, and the pillows were everywhere. Her bed was too warm: its occupant tossing and turning all over it all night not finding sleep. Ashura gripped a fistful of hair and tugged on it in frustration: Why couldn’t she sleep?
She buried her head in a pillow. It was too warm, and soaked in tears.
She hugged another one, pretending it was him... This time, it was too cold, too small, too inanimate to be the slightest sliver of him.
Why?
She pulled the blankets over herself up to her chest and sighed. Looking at the dark ceiling, she imagined his face.
It drove her nuts not being able to sleep at night. Maybe that was the reason behind her not being able to focus properly on her day-to-day battles.
“The battles... I must win the next one... And the castle in the sky will be mine.” She said. “And then he will live again.” She said it out louder than she should have and instantly covered her mouth. Realizing there was no one to hear it aside from her, she released her mouth and hugged a pillow again.
She started to cry.
Crying was just about the last thing she was able to do to regain her sanity and her sleep. Tears would flow on endlessly, night after night after night. It became repetitive, even redundant. Sometimes she wondered whether it’s the sheer exhaustion of crying out her emotions or simply the boredom of having to cry every night that lulls her to sleep.
For a moment she thought the idea was silly, and she chuckled.
But after chuckling and laughing momentarily, she remembered how she used to laugh with him, and it pained her so.
Why?
“Yasha” She whispered, and proceeded to kiss an invisible lover. She felt no lips next to hers, and it frustrated her. She slammed her lips into the mattress, just to feel some pressure against her aching lips. It seemed silly of her... It’s as if she was being driven mad with such a cruel fate.
Mad with Love... She didn’t want to use the term. She was a leader, and to be insane would be the most humiliating thing to happen to her. No, she needed to be strong. She needed to e determined for the sake of protecting the welfare of her people.
But who would protect her welfare?
She wiped tears from her eyes for the eighteenth time after she started weeping. It was like counting her tears instead of sheep.
She closed her eyes, sending a flurry of tears down her cheeks.
Twenty-one... Twenty-two...Twenty-three...Twenty-four....
It became like a game... A cruel, sadistic game she was playing.
“Tomorrow, I will win the battle... And the castle in the sky shall be mine... And my wish will be granted.”
She reformed her resolve to fight the one she truly loves...
“And I will be with him.”
With that, she continued to cry herself to sleep.