To Cat, from Z Red Poppy ♥
Title: Darkened Green
Author:z_red_poppy
Recipient: cat_i_th_adage
Series: Tokyo Babylon
Characters: Hokuto, Subaru.
Rating: PG?
Author's Notes/Warnings [if any]: I'm sorry I suck at angst, but I don't see what else I could have written on Tokyo Babylon/X1999 considering the amount of tears I've shed on both series. I've done my very best to write Hokuto, but I'm obviously more of a Subaru person ¬__¬;
The sunlight gently heated Subaru's back as he laid asleep at the kitchen table, providing him a comfort he couldn't feel. He rested his weary head on his arms, his neck very pale against the black fabric of his turtleneck. His white coat laid on the back of his chair, creased from when he had been lying against it while drinking tea. The cup now laid half empty on the side of the table, its now cold liquid a dull green.
It was almost noon, and he had fallen asleep out of exhaustion a couple of hours ago. He couldn't sleep, barely eat, these last days. He didn't want to. When he had laid in the dark, his mind had been filled with nightmares, even though he wasn't asleep. He really didn't want to know what lay hidden in the black depth of rest.
Seishiro's death was the last straw. He had lost everything he held dear and a feeling of departure of his own person had seized him by the throat, frequently making him gag. He missed Hokuto, could almost feel her beside him although her spirit wasn't even there. He missed her laughter, her support. He missed the embarrassement she made him feel when they went out with Seishirô in a crowded place. He would almost have smiled at some memories, if only he hadn't been that lonely.
Nobody would ever be able to make up for the loss of his little sister.
As he laid asleep in an uncomfortable position, he didn't feel the light presence of Hokuto lingering behind him, just the frail image of what she used to be. Her beatless heart hurt from seeing her brother like this. Everything was very warm and bathed in a beautiful golden light. Everything but Subaru, who had an aura about him that seemed to provide the light from glowing on him. He was a still image of black and white, his skin warm but numb and dull whatsoever.
Hokuto felt remorse grasp her at the memory of the spell she had cast upon Seishirô.
I'm so sorry, Subaru-chan...
She seemed to flicker for the briefest moment, light piercing through her.
But, even though I know everything I know now...
She bent her head, her lips tightening.
I would still wish for you to survive us all...
Her eyebrows creased with pain under her black hair.
You have to endure all this...
Passion in her soundless voice.
For your heart can't be taken away of its purpose...
And if she had always known how selfish of her her wish for Subaru to live despite everything had been, she measured only now the damages she'd done to him. Now that she saw her twin, her half, in such a state, now that he didn't even acknowldeged of her presence when they'd know how the other one felt even if miles appart. Now that she couldn't visit his dream-less sleep. But with shame, she thought that had she had a second chance, she would still have done it.
The Fate of too much people, of too much things, layed upon her brother's shoulders, broadened by a roughness he had neeeded to developp for his own sake more than by the years that had transformed him into a grown man. The world couldn't be deprived of him, it was not something Hokuto could ever consider.
Again so egoistic...
An immaterial hand brushed black short hair with restraint.
She couldn't help but notice how he had done everything he could to leave the bright youthful, happy Subaru behind, and bear his sadness like a reminder of something he should never had felt guilty about. His features had sharpened, his hair was very short, and the smell of cigarettes hung about him, like a mark.
If anything, Fate had to be blamed.
Not Seishirô, for being who he had been. She knew until the very end that despite his actions, despite everything he might have said, he cared deeply for her brother. Even in his own very special way...
Yes, Fate had to be blamed, and her, for shattering the threads that were already woven on Its big dark loom.
The threads had been re-woven by petite lily-white hands and the picture was messy and the fabric ragged.
She sighed to herself, not drawing any air inside her lungs, not breathing out either.
Hokuto would have waited for her brother to wake up just to be able to see him do anything they used to do as a pair, but shame was still biting her sharply and she prefered to disappeare, not to see the green of his eye darkened when he would open his once bright cheerful eyes.
Author:z_red_poppy
Recipient: cat_i_th_adage
Series: Tokyo Babylon
Characters: Hokuto, Subaru.
Rating: PG?
Author's Notes/Warnings [if any]: I'm sorry I suck at angst, but I don't see what else I could have written on Tokyo Babylon/X1999 considering the amount of tears I've shed on both series. I've done my very best to write Hokuto, but I'm obviously more of a Subaru person ¬__¬;
The sunlight gently heated Subaru's back as he laid asleep at the kitchen table, providing him a comfort he couldn't feel. He rested his weary head on his arms, his neck very pale against the black fabric of his turtleneck. His white coat laid on the back of his chair, creased from when he had been lying against it while drinking tea. The cup now laid half empty on the side of the table, its now cold liquid a dull green.
It was almost noon, and he had fallen asleep out of exhaustion a couple of hours ago. He couldn't sleep, barely eat, these last days. He didn't want to. When he had laid in the dark, his mind had been filled with nightmares, even though he wasn't asleep. He really didn't want to know what lay hidden in the black depth of rest.
Seishiro's death was the last straw. He had lost everything he held dear and a feeling of departure of his own person had seized him by the throat, frequently making him gag. He missed Hokuto, could almost feel her beside him although her spirit wasn't even there. He missed her laughter, her support. He missed the embarrassement she made him feel when they went out with Seishirô in a crowded place. He would almost have smiled at some memories, if only he hadn't been that lonely.
Nobody would ever be able to make up for the loss of his little sister.
As he laid asleep in an uncomfortable position, he didn't feel the light presence of Hokuto lingering behind him, just the frail image of what she used to be. Her beatless heart hurt from seeing her brother like this. Everything was very warm and bathed in a beautiful golden light. Everything but Subaru, who had an aura about him that seemed to provide the light from glowing on him. He was a still image of black and white, his skin warm but numb and dull whatsoever.
Hokuto felt remorse grasp her at the memory of the spell she had cast upon Seishirô.
I'm so sorry, Subaru-chan...
She seemed to flicker for the briefest moment, light piercing through her.
But, even though I know everything I know now...
She bent her head, her lips tightening.
I would still wish for you to survive us all...
Her eyebrows creased with pain under her black hair.
You have to endure all this...
Passion in her soundless voice.
For your heart can't be taken away of its purpose...
And if she had always known how selfish of her her wish for Subaru to live despite everything had been, she measured only now the damages she'd done to him. Now that she saw her twin, her half, in such a state, now that he didn't even acknowldeged of her presence when they'd know how the other one felt even if miles appart. Now that she couldn't visit his dream-less sleep. But with shame, she thought that had she had a second chance, she would still have done it.
The Fate of too much people, of too much things, layed upon her brother's shoulders, broadened by a roughness he had neeeded to developp for his own sake more than by the years that had transformed him into a grown man. The world couldn't be deprived of him, it was not something Hokuto could ever consider.
Again so egoistic...
An immaterial hand brushed black short hair with restraint.
She couldn't help but notice how he had done everything he could to leave the bright youthful, happy Subaru behind, and bear his sadness like a reminder of something he should never had felt guilty about. His features had sharpened, his hair was very short, and the smell of cigarettes hung about him, like a mark.
If anything, Fate had to be blamed.
Not Seishirô, for being who he had been. She knew until the very end that despite his actions, despite everything he might have said, he cared deeply for her brother. Even in his own very special way...
Yes, Fate had to be blamed, and her, for shattering the threads that were already woven on Its big dark loom.
The threads had been re-woven by petite lily-white hands and the picture was messy and the fabric ragged.
She sighed to herself, not drawing any air inside her lungs, not breathing out either.
Hokuto would have waited for her brother to wake up just to be able to see him do anything they used to do as a pair, but shame was still biting her sharply and she prefered to disappeare, not to see the green of his eye darkened when he would open his once bright cheerful eyes.