To Somnorexic, From Halflight ♥
Title: Hell Hath No Fury
Author: halflight007
Recipient: somnorexic
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters/Pairing: KuroFay
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes/Warnings [if any]: Right, so I’m not particularly fond of genderswitches and it’s been awhile since I’ve actually written any good het, but this was the only one on the list that I actually knew enough about to write and I had about four days to get it written and beta’d. So boom, you get me making fun of gender stereotypes. Hope you enjoy. Sorry if it’s not what you were looking for.
Kurogane licks his lips, flexes his fingers and wonders again why he’s always the subject of Fate’s Russian roulette.
Fay had wanted a calm, rational discussion. Fay had wanted to “sit down and talk this out like an adult.”
This might have been his inexperience with women talking but Kurogane did not think that stabbing a knife about an inch away from his face into the wall was particularly “rational.”
This particular problem started the instant they landed in this world; Kurogane blinked and tried to gather his bearings, glancing around to make sure the kid, princess, and mage were safe and the mage was holding some thing large to his chest and hey, had he had those curves before and oh sweet Jesus.
A call to Yuuko had earned him some suspicious sounding titters and a half-assed explanation of magic and “allergic reactions” and somewhere in the babble he’d thought he heard the word “random plot device” but that was probably just the bitch’s babbling.
Fay had simply smiled and taken it all in stride. And then had taken his-erm, her-newly grown mounds and flopped them around. “Look, Kuro-pon, they jiggle~!” she trilled, smiling like an idiot.
He did not want to think about the idiot mage and he did not want to think about her chest. He also did not want to think about the princess who sighed, took Fay’s hand and guided her away, murmuring something about bras and how Fay would have to wear them from now on. From the scandalized look on the kid’s face, neither did he.
Fast forward a month later and he slammed her into a wall, all teeth and nip and right there right there oh fucking yes right there. And he thought that he could get used to this-to Fay’s softness, her fuller lips, the unexpected wildness and vulpine seduction that came packaged along with those twins and curves.
And then the unthinkable happened. As he was tearing her shirt off her arms while his teeth and lips molested the skin at the edge of her bra, she remembered something.
“Kuro-rin, did you buy the milk I asked you to earlier today?”
Kurogane froze.
“Kuro-sama,” and there was now an arch tone in her voice, something edging away from lust and moving towards annoyance.
“We are in the middle of foreplay and all you can think about is-”
“I’ll go check then,” she fumed, and shoved him off, storming out of the room. She pulled her blouse back over her shoulders and huffed, that lovely face contorted in a frown. Kurogane followed, even though walking was starting to edge on being difficult.
“I mean-can’t we finish-for God’s sake-” he protested. She ignored him, striding through the living room and past the two children, into their small kitchen. He stumbled after her and arrived in time to see her hand riffling through the top shelf and hear her sigh of exasperation.
“It’s not here. Dammit, Kuro-baka, didn’t I expressly tell you to-”
“You didn’t tell me anything at all!” he shouted, somewhat scandalized and a bit nervous.
“Yes I did! I said ‘Kuro-sama, make sure you get everything on the list-’”
Kurogane huffed and looked away. No, he didn’t make a mistake. He didn’t overlook the scribble on the mage’s list. It wasn’t his fault, dammit.
“Damn women, making up memories and making men’s lives harder than they need to b-”
THWACK.
Kurogane hadn’t even seen her move. Couldn’t even think, beyond a detached oh, look, there’s a fucking knife in the wall beside my cheek.
Her eyes were livid and sparked with anger.
“Am I making your life so hard, Kuro-jerk!? Tell you what, YOU try living in a body you just got a fucking month ago! YOU try living in a brain doped up on estrogen and a bajillion other chemicals and YOU try living with the mood swings and the cramps and the blood! YOU TRY LIVING AS A WOMAN AND SEE HOW HARD LIFE IS FOR YOU!”
And before he could respond she was out the door, down the hall and in her room in a matter of seconds.
That was four days ago, and now he’s chewing on his lip and trying to think.
All he gets is an image from his childhood.
“Father that must have been a powerful oni that gave you that mark!”
“A..ahaha. Yeah, son. It…sure was.”
“Why is the claw mark shaped like a handprint, though?”
“…It was a…special type of oni.”
“Special?”
“Yes. Son…someday you will face a very terrifying type of oni. They’re a good kind of oni, but they’re also very temperamental, especially around…a certain type of the month. All you can do, son, is go with it. Just smile and nod and soon enough they’ll be doing the same to you.”
“There must be one controlling Mother! She’s like that someti-”
“OKAY, kiddo! Want to spar a bit with your old man?”
…Funny, how he was just realizing this now.
He lifts a hand to knock on the door-which swings open and flings an armful of weepy, sobbing mage into his arms.
“OOOOOOH KURO-RIIIIIIN!” she sobs, clutching her ratty old Kleenex and sniffling. “I don’t know what-oh, it hurt--and I didn’t mean to-I’M SO SORRY!” she sobbed, staining his t-shirt with her tears and saliva. (That was kinda gross, but he didn’t mind.)
Just smile and nod, son.
Kurogane sighs, putting his arms snugly around Fay and sighs. “You’re certainly crazy as a woman,” he mutters to himself.
“What was that?”
“You’re beautiful.”
The feminine aura chuckles and grows a bit lighter. The masculine half lets loose an exasperated but patient, loving and good-natured sigh.
Author: halflight007
Recipient: somnorexic
Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Characters/Pairing: KuroFay
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes/Warnings [if any]: Right, so I’m not particularly fond of genderswitches and it’s been awhile since I’ve actually written any good het, but this was the only one on the list that I actually knew enough about to write and I had about four days to get it written and beta’d. So boom, you get me making fun of gender stereotypes. Hope you enjoy. Sorry if it’s not what you were looking for.
Kurogane licks his lips, flexes his fingers and wonders again why he’s always the subject of Fate’s Russian roulette.
Fay had wanted a calm, rational discussion. Fay had wanted to “sit down and talk this out like an adult.”
This might have been his inexperience with women talking but Kurogane did not think that stabbing a knife about an inch away from his face into the wall was particularly “rational.”
This particular problem started the instant they landed in this world; Kurogane blinked and tried to gather his bearings, glancing around to make sure the kid, princess, and mage were safe and the mage was holding some thing large to his chest and hey, had he had those curves before and oh sweet Jesus.
A call to Yuuko had earned him some suspicious sounding titters and a half-assed explanation of magic and “allergic reactions” and somewhere in the babble he’d thought he heard the word “random plot device” but that was probably just the bitch’s babbling.
Fay had simply smiled and taken it all in stride. And then had taken his-erm, her-newly grown mounds and flopped them around. “Look, Kuro-pon, they jiggle~!” she trilled, smiling like an idiot.
He did not want to think about the idiot mage and he did not want to think about her chest. He also did not want to think about the princess who sighed, took Fay’s hand and guided her away, murmuring something about bras and how Fay would have to wear them from now on. From the scandalized look on the kid’s face, neither did he.
Fast forward a month later and he slammed her into a wall, all teeth and nip and right there right there oh fucking yes right there. And he thought that he could get used to this-to Fay’s softness, her fuller lips, the unexpected wildness and vulpine seduction that came packaged along with those twins and curves.
And then the unthinkable happened. As he was tearing her shirt off her arms while his teeth and lips molested the skin at the edge of her bra, she remembered something.
“Kuro-rin, did you buy the milk I asked you to earlier today?”
Kurogane froze.
“Kuro-sama,” and there was now an arch tone in her voice, something edging away from lust and moving towards annoyance.
“We are in the middle of foreplay and all you can think about is-”
“I’ll go check then,” she fumed, and shoved him off, storming out of the room. She pulled her blouse back over her shoulders and huffed, that lovely face contorted in a frown. Kurogane followed, even though walking was starting to edge on being difficult.
“I mean-can’t we finish-for God’s sake-” he protested. She ignored him, striding through the living room and past the two children, into their small kitchen. He stumbled after her and arrived in time to see her hand riffling through the top shelf and hear her sigh of exasperation.
“It’s not here. Dammit, Kuro-baka, didn’t I expressly tell you to-”
“You didn’t tell me anything at all!” he shouted, somewhat scandalized and a bit nervous.
“Yes I did! I said ‘Kuro-sama, make sure you get everything on the list-’”
Kurogane huffed and looked away. No, he didn’t make a mistake. He didn’t overlook the scribble on the mage’s list. It wasn’t his fault, dammit.
“Damn women, making up memories and making men’s lives harder than they need to b-”
THWACK.
Kurogane hadn’t even seen her move. Couldn’t even think, beyond a detached oh, look, there’s a fucking knife in the wall beside my cheek.
Her eyes were livid and sparked with anger.
“Am I making your life so hard, Kuro-jerk!? Tell you what, YOU try living in a body you just got a fucking month ago! YOU try living in a brain doped up on estrogen and a bajillion other chemicals and YOU try living with the mood swings and the cramps and the blood! YOU TRY LIVING AS A WOMAN AND SEE HOW HARD LIFE IS FOR YOU!”
And before he could respond she was out the door, down the hall and in her room in a matter of seconds.
That was four days ago, and now he’s chewing on his lip and trying to think.
All he gets is an image from his childhood.
“Father that must have been a powerful oni that gave you that mark!”
“A..ahaha. Yeah, son. It…sure was.”
“Why is the claw mark shaped like a handprint, though?”
“…It was a…special type of oni.”
“Special?”
“Yes. Son…someday you will face a very terrifying type of oni. They’re a good kind of oni, but they’re also very temperamental, especially around…a certain type of the month. All you can do, son, is go with it. Just smile and nod and soon enough they’ll be doing the same to you.”
“There must be one controlling Mother! She’s like that someti-”
“OKAY, kiddo! Want to spar a bit with your old man?”
…Funny, how he was just realizing this now.
He lifts a hand to knock on the door-which swings open and flings an armful of weepy, sobbing mage into his arms.
“OOOOOOH KURO-RIIIIIIN!” she sobs, clutching her ratty old Kleenex and sniffling. “I don’t know what-oh, it hurt--and I didn’t mean to-I’M SO SORRY!” she sobbed, staining his t-shirt with her tears and saliva. (That was kinda gross, but he didn’t mind.)
Just smile and nod, son.
Kurogane sighs, putting his arms snugly around Fay and sighs. “You’re certainly crazy as a woman,” he mutters to himself.
“What was that?”
“You’re beautiful.”
The feminine aura chuckles and grows a bit lighter. The masculine half lets loose an exasperated but patient, loving and good-natured sigh.