Another monday night.
I'm sitting in my dorm room, thinking about what to write in here. Jesse comes to mind cuz i bumped over the box that he gave me when he left, with a flower, a picture of him, and a letter saying that he wanted to marry me inside.i was thinking that i shouldn't write about him. Cuz i should forget about him. But screw it, a journal records your thoughts, and these are mine:
I remember in the summertime when we were all at a party at Kate's house. Jesse and i went on a walk and sat outside and really talked for the first time. it lasted for over an hour. We talked about everything, from religion to our past family lives. it was one of the greatest conversations of the summer. he was so interested in what i had to say, and it just flowed. no one at the party could find us. we also climbed a tree together and he gave me the nickname "Sarah, Scourge of the Nations" which we later went on to burn into the bottom of my coffee table with a lighter. my mom was pissed when she saw that.
It's wierd to me, because Jesse died. I seriously consider him as dead. First of all, i don't see really ever talking to him ever again. Secondly, if i were to, he's nothing like he used to be. or at least as i perceived him to be for the time that i knew him. his friends that have known him longer might say something different. he's a completely different person to me.
these are my thoughts. i know i have my life. i know he has his. i know they'll probably cross maybe one or two more times at most, and it's better that way. but i guess i'm still in mourning period, if not for a boyfriend, for a great guy who has been lost to the world of Very Important People. Jesse, deep down, keep your heart in the right place.
I don't think i have any ill feelings towards him anymore. It was all God that gave me the ability to forgive him. i guess i can say i wish him well in whatever he pursues.
I remember in the summertime when we were all at a party at Kate's house. Jesse and i went on a walk and sat outside and really talked for the first time. it lasted for over an hour. We talked about everything, from religion to our past family lives. it was one of the greatest conversations of the summer. he was so interested in what i had to say, and it just flowed. no one at the party could find us. we also climbed a tree together and he gave me the nickname "Sarah, Scourge of the Nations" which we later went on to burn into the bottom of my coffee table with a lighter. my mom was pissed when she saw that.
It's wierd to me, because Jesse died. I seriously consider him as dead. First of all, i don't see really ever talking to him ever again. Secondly, if i were to, he's nothing like he used to be. or at least as i perceived him to be for the time that i knew him. his friends that have known him longer might say something different. he's a completely different person to me.
these are my thoughts. i know i have my life. i know he has his. i know they'll probably cross maybe one or two more times at most, and it's better that way. but i guess i'm still in mourning period, if not for a boyfriend, for a great guy who has been lost to the world of Very Important People. Jesse, deep down, keep your heart in the right place.
I don't think i have any ill feelings towards him anymore. It was all God that gave me the ability to forgive him. i guess i can say i wish him well in whatever he pursues.