for some reason.
for some reason I feel like I'm the most annoying person in the world.
all I do is complain on here or talk about my ED craziness.
I don't know...
last night Bryan and I just started making a list of all the things we want to do in life together- and it's extremely long, and some of the things aren't huge-like go to Italy- but things like "cake a cake worthy of Duff" haha...
I don't know, I've just realized I don't care about a future, but I like thinking about doing some things in the future.
I'm so used to being that girl who had everything planned and stuff- but I think the whole idea of my ED ruining my chances of going to Italy crushed that in me. I just don't care about the next day- unless I have something to do.
That's why I think this job is a good thing... I hope.
I keep fighting the urge in my head to order PizzaHut- because I haven't eaten all day, and would like that to continue.
I see my therapist on Wednesday... hahaha... that'll be fun. She'll probably take one look at me and have me sent to the hospital.... but I already know I won't let her, because I now have a job...
so I'll be that Freshman girl again, 95lbs and taking 7 classes... but I'll still get a 4.0
only this time it'll be with my job- and even though I'll be skeletal- no one will know about my ED (apart from Bryan of course)
I'm only taking 75mgs of my Effexor- and tomorrow I start weaning off them. Every other day I'll take a 50mg of Pristiq.
and then who knows what my mood will be like.
I noticed yesterday that my eyes don't stay dilated in the sunlight anymore! So that;s nice- it axctually looks like I have irises now haha. The Effexor made my pupils HUGE- but now, because of the reduction in dosage, I have eyes again.
all I do is complain on here or talk about my ED craziness.
I don't know...
last night Bryan and I just started making a list of all the things we want to do in life together- and it's extremely long, and some of the things aren't huge-like go to Italy- but things like "cake a cake worthy of Duff" haha...
I don't know, I've just realized I don't care about a future, but I like thinking about doing some things in the future.
I'm so used to being that girl who had everything planned and stuff- but I think the whole idea of my ED ruining my chances of going to Italy crushed that in me. I just don't care about the next day- unless I have something to do.
That's why I think this job is a good thing... I hope.
I keep fighting the urge in my head to order PizzaHut- because I haven't eaten all day, and would like that to continue.
I see my therapist on Wednesday... hahaha... that'll be fun. She'll probably take one look at me and have me sent to the hospital.... but I already know I won't let her, because I now have a job...
so I'll be that Freshman girl again, 95lbs and taking 7 classes... but I'll still get a 4.0
only this time it'll be with my job- and even though I'll be skeletal- no one will know about my ED (apart from Bryan of course)
I'm only taking 75mgs of my Effexor- and tomorrow I start weaning off them. Every other day I'll take a 50mg of Pristiq.
and then who knows what my mood will be like.
I noticed yesterday that my eyes don't stay dilated in the sunlight anymore! So that;s nice- it axctually looks like I have irises now haha. The Effexor made my pupils HUGE- but now, because of the reduction in dosage, I have eyes again.