(no subject)
So I have not posted a substantial entry that has not been fic in...quite awhile. I would've liked to herald my glorious return to yakking your ears (eyes?) off on lj with my vacation post, but alas, that is not to be, as I've had something else swimming through my mind lately.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DRIBBLE CONTAINS TALK OF ASHLEY/ARI/WHATEVER YOU KNOW ME AS NOT AS A PURE, INNOCENT, LITTLE GIRL. THANK YOU.
Now that that's over, I've been thinking, and it's been spawned from a conversation from months ago. It's very important that I make this clear that in the context of said conversation, it wasn't threatening or forcing or anything of that nature. It's just hard to recall the exact wording because...well, it was a busy night. Now, when I was with James (new James, not douchebag James), there was a comment that was made while we were watching Higurashi (oooo soooooo romantic) and cuddling. Like, I got closer to him after a kiss and he said something like...he was glad that I liked it, that I wasn't uncomfortable. Which I wasn't. But the idea was, because I was cuddling, I wasn't...it was a good thing.
This is a lot clearer in my head. Basically what I wanted to talk about is, I've always been a very physical person. This isn't new. I get close to people and it's like "okay, platonic cuddling now?" It's like that with my best friend (her younger brother called us "touchy feely" when we were younger). It's like that with the League (remember the great Runaways viewing of '10?). Hell, with my family (I am like a cat or something). I like getting close to people and snuggling up to them. Apparently I was even like that as a very little kid. I'm empathetic -- annoyingly so, sometimes -- but more than that, I just like physical contact. I like hugs. I like curling up next to people.
So my thing is...I've been wondering. Is that what most people are like? I mean...I don't think so. I don't think it's a natural thing, or rather a common thing. I liked cuddling up to James, but I like cuddling up to anyone. I'm doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot. And one of my wonders is, how do you even act with a significant other in a physical, casual manner that's different? Because there's the obvious things, but then everything else is new to me. Will cuddling up to people -- friends -- who I'm not romantically involved with confuse anyone? Will it cause problems?
It's honestly a lot of musing. Too much musing. And it's been in my mind for awhile, since last fall. And I just thought...well, maybe writing it all out would help. But I'm still stumped. Something doesn't feel right, but I can't put my finger on it. I dunno.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING DRIBBLE CONTAINS TALK OF ASHLEY/ARI/WHATEVER YOU KNOW ME AS NOT AS A PURE, INNOCENT, LITTLE GIRL. THANK YOU.
Now that that's over, I've been thinking, and it's been spawned from a conversation from months ago. It's very important that I make this clear that in the context of said conversation, it wasn't threatening or forcing or anything of that nature. It's just hard to recall the exact wording because...well, it was a busy night. Now, when I was with James (new James, not douchebag James), there was a comment that was made while we were watching Higurashi (oooo soooooo romantic) and cuddling. Like, I got closer to him after a kiss and he said something like...he was glad that I liked it, that I wasn't uncomfortable. Which I wasn't. But the idea was, because I was cuddling, I wasn't...it was a good thing.
This is a lot clearer in my head. Basically what I wanted to talk about is, I've always been a very physical person. This isn't new. I get close to people and it's like "okay, platonic cuddling now?" It's like that with my best friend (her younger brother called us "touchy feely" when we were younger). It's like that with the League (remember the great Runaways viewing of '10?). Hell, with my family (I am like a cat or something). I like getting close to people and snuggling up to them. Apparently I was even like that as a very little kid. I'm empathetic -- annoyingly so, sometimes -- but more than that, I just like physical contact. I like hugs. I like curling up next to people.
So my thing is...I've been wondering. Is that what most people are like? I mean...I don't think so. I don't think it's a natural thing, or rather a common thing. I liked cuddling up to James, but I like cuddling up to anyone. I'm doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot. And one of my wonders is, how do you even act with a significant other in a physical, casual manner that's different? Because there's the obvious things, but then everything else is new to me. Will cuddling up to people -- friends -- who I'm not romantically involved with confuse anyone? Will it cause problems?
It's honestly a lot of musing. Too much musing. And it's been in my mind for awhile, since last fall. And I just thought...well, maybe writing it all out would help. But I'm still stumped. Something doesn't feel right, but I can't put my finger on it. I dunno.