(no subject)
Yeah, all I needed was some sleep. Man, what was my brain on? I should come to expect it by now; when stress and school piles up, my self-esteem WILL drop and I will start thinking ridiculous things.
Forgetting THAT happened...
I'm doing okay. I'm in my second-to-last Art History II class, and I've finished my two rough drafts, turned them in and already had one meeting. There's...well, still stuff to do, but a lot of the worst is over; just revisions, journal entries, and studying for, like, four Japanese quizes (kanji quiz tomorrow, lesson quiz tomorrow, oral exam for my final tomorrow, FINAL ON MONDAY gaogao). ...But Friday is going to be great, I'll be able to RELAX for once, or maybe sleep.
I am hoping to finally write more soon; I haven't actually done any in a few days, maybe since last week. Fun fact? I'm on page 53 with 16,788 words. God, so long, but really, I wish I'd had more time in the last few days, writing honestly has been my saving grace, it frees my mind.
Lately I've been feeling so...I don't know. A little bit apathetic about life. I'm happy when I should be, I still get excited about things, but I don't know how many times in the last few days I've had thoughts of "jeez, what's the point anyway?" A feeling of...emptiness.
I'm not going to lie, it's got something to do with my-- well, let's call her my aunt. Anyone who remembers my...adventure with my evil step-grandmother might remember Marie, who is the wife of said step-grandmother's son and one of the best parts of that trip. She's got lung cancer. I found out...jeez, a week ago? Week and a half? It was more than a little shocking, because she's relatively young and lives an extremely healthy lifestyle.
I haven't had much luck with cancer in my family. Any luck, actually. My granddad is the most lucky we've got, and he could outlive us all. Besides that, always it ends in death. Sometimes people hold on longer, but it's always the same in the end. I've talked to people about this; heck, I've got high hopes for her. Still...
I guess I'm scared for the future. Take that as you will. I'm not quite sure what it could be.
God, leave it to me to make things depressing again. Whatever.
Just get to Friday, self. Hey, maybe I can do a little RP Friday between sleep and planned movies/shows with friends, that always perks me up.
Forgetting THAT happened...
I'm doing okay. I'm in my second-to-last Art History II class, and I've finished my two rough drafts, turned them in and already had one meeting. There's...well, still stuff to do, but a lot of the worst is over; just revisions, journal entries, and studying for, like, four Japanese quizes (kanji quiz tomorrow, lesson quiz tomorrow, oral exam for my final tomorrow, FINAL ON MONDAY gaogao). ...But Friday is going to be great, I'll be able to RELAX for once, or maybe sleep.
I am hoping to finally write more soon; I haven't actually done any in a few days, maybe since last week. Fun fact? I'm on page 53 with 16,788 words. God, so long, but really, I wish I'd had more time in the last few days, writing honestly has been my saving grace, it frees my mind.
Lately I've been feeling so...I don't know. A little bit apathetic about life. I'm happy when I should be, I still get excited about things, but I don't know how many times in the last few days I've had thoughts of "jeez, what's the point anyway?" A feeling of...emptiness.
I'm not going to lie, it's got something to do with my-- well, let's call her my aunt. Anyone who remembers my...adventure with my evil step-grandmother might remember Marie, who is the wife of said step-grandmother's son and one of the best parts of that trip. She's got lung cancer. I found out...jeez, a week ago? Week and a half? It was more than a little shocking, because she's relatively young and lives an extremely healthy lifestyle.
I haven't had much luck with cancer in my family. Any luck, actually. My granddad is the most lucky we've got, and he could outlive us all. Besides that, always it ends in death. Sometimes people hold on longer, but it's always the same in the end. I've talked to people about this; heck, I've got high hopes for her. Still...
I guess I'm scared for the future. Take that as you will. I'm not quite sure what it could be.
God, leave it to me to make things depressing again. Whatever.
Just get to Friday, self. Hey, maybe I can do a little RP Friday between sleep and planned movies/shows with friends, that always perks me up.