icon because tangled reference.
So I had Art History II. We had to guess what 12 pieces of art were style-wise and I got all of them wrong. I drew some very funny doodles and wrote “Epic Failure” at the bottom and “FATALITY” and then had a dead emoticon face with a head wound that I was going to take a picture of for all of you, but then we had to hand it in. Derp. The professor thought it was funny, though, so. Victory for me.
And then I devoted most of my day to pirating Tangled, because 1) I REALLY WANTED TO SEE THIS MOVIE IN THEATERS AND COULD NOT WAIT ;; and 2) while lurking on the Homestuck forums I have learned that just about everyone compares the main characters to Jade and Dave and uh, hi, OTP, soooo. Yeah. No way in hell am I waiting like I did for Princess and the Frog. This took forever to actually accomplish because we can’t torrent here and the .rars I was downloading failed, so I’ve settled for Megavideo. Sigh.
I took several naps over the course of the day and had dinner at midnight. I couldn’t focus on homework that isn’t due until 2:40 tomorrow, so I decided I’ll do it tomorrow in-between classes. And throughout all of this, Eggo, Ginny, and I created a Gay Horror Sex Comedy movie-plot that is probably the most epic thing that will never exist. Eggo and Ginny started it, I just helped with the plot and some casting (AND GAVE IT SUMMER GLAU). I now want to create an RP account of the Summer Glau character who is deadpan and sneaky and a badass normal in a world of witches and gets ALL the sex and goes :3 all the time.
And now I’m watching Tangled (not bad quality for a camera in a theater) and YES, Rapunzel is SO VERY MUCH JADE and the first song is so so so so cute. Mandy Moore is a GREAT Disney Princess and I’m only seven minutes in. I really wish I had seen this in theaters, but what can you do? Oh, look, it’s our male lead, he’s already done some narration and damn it, the top of the screen is cut off :/ oh well. ...Looks like he’s a thief? Oh god, I love this already. ...I can see why people compare him to Dave, he’s got this coolkid persona to him. The lack of top-screen really is a bit annoying, really sigh, but oh well. The evil witch woman - what’s her name again? Mother Gothel? Yes. - she’s actually sort of quirky and I almost like her, ha. Except for the fact that she’s a kidnapping little bitch-- HAHAHAHAHA, THIS GIRL IS SO CRAZY AND WILD I LOVE HER.-- oh, YAY, the camera shifted and I can see the top of the screen now. ...She mumbles. SHE MUMBLES. Okay, I’m in love with this movie only ten minutes in.
New paragraph. Oh, Mother Gothel’s singing voice is really nice too. I really love these songs. SHADOW PUPPETS-- “THE PLAGUE. :|” I adore this. I really do. I promise I’ll start commenting only on important things, REALLY. This poor little girl, this whole song is telling her why she can’t go outside and insulting her the whole time the WHOLE TIME, telling her how much she fails and then DON’T EVER ASK TO LEAVE THIS TOWER AGAIN AND SHE DOESN’T REALLY LOVE YOU SWEETIE, SHE’S JUST USING YOU FOR YOUR MAGIC HAIR. Okay, back to our male lead. I love that he’s not a prince, he’s a thief.-- a thief with an ego, hahaha. And all I can see is a slightly more emotional Dave here, he’s so snarky. ...and backstabbing-- HIS LAST NAME IS RIDER?! (okay Ryder) OH GOD IT’S MEANT TO BEEEEE. HE IS DAVE AND RAPUNZEL IS JADE AND THIS MOVIE IS MY FAVORITE. ... >_> and the horse is Maplehoof. OKAY HOMESTUCK REFERENCES OVER FOR THE MOMENT. ...Even the HORSE is against him getting the treasure, he cannot get a break, poor thief-boy-Ryder. He’s hiding from a horse. Ha.
AND NOW OUR MALE HERO STUMBLES UPON OUR PRINCESS’S ABODE. And scales the tower himself, wow. ...and she hits him with a frying pan, i love this movie. This mysterious creature is called a man, sweetie. The first one she’s ever seen, oh wow. ...and she’s fascinated. So cu--....there’s the frying pan again. lolderp. Unable to lock him in the closet. She is such a DERPY PRINCESS. I ADORE HER. ...She’s so happy about having a p-- SHE JUST HIT HERSELF IN THE HEAD WITH THE FRYING PAN. DERPTASTIC PRINCESS. SO DERPY. I LOVE HER. She doesn’t know how to wear the stolen tiara. OH RAPUNZEL CAN I SQUISH YOU???? ...awww, the top of the screen is cut off again just a bit :/
Oh no, don’t tell your fake!mommy that you’ve got a boy in the closet, please don’t. :( Oh she just got yelled at. Don’t cry. Please. If you cry I might wanna wibble. I can see the gears turning in her head. I can see them. Oh you smart lil’ woobie girl. ...This woman-- I hope she actually does care about Rapunzel, how can you NOT, she’s so cute :X Even though she kidnapped her just for her magic hair and keeps her locked up...idk, I don’t see how you can’t love her. so anyway.
...Okay, maybe I should stop commentating on everything and just save this for the ~*~*~big~*~*~ things. >_> she tied him up with her hair. So cute. And she’s hiding in the shadows and is utterly afraid of him hahaha. ........AND NOW HE’S TRYING TO SWEET TALK HER AND IT ISN’T WORKING. Okay, Flynn Ryder, I like you. “alright blondie” “rapunzel :|” “gessundheit” ...knocked out again hahaha. NOW ONLY IMPORTANT THINGS. She’s talking to Pascel the lil’ chameleon. <3 This is one clever derprincess. Yes.
“Something brought you here, Flynn Ryder. Call it what you will. Fate, destiny--“ “A horse. :|” i love this movie. And now Ryder is all “[SMOLDER]” and she’s all “[it’s not very effective]” and he’s all “ :/ this is an off-day for me” and I love them. OH, YAY IT’S A REPRISE OF HER FIRST SONG I LOVE HER SONG. GO RAPUNZEL, GO. GO. YAY. INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, DERPRINCESS. So cute and in lilac. <3 ...I love her reprise. This is so heartwarming. SO HEARTWARMING. I CANNOT STOP SMILING. DISNEY, THANK YOU. (I swear this will get more coherent, no i’m lying) TWIRL SPIN BIRDS, DISNEY MOVIE.
She’s got a lil’ squeal and she’s TALKING OT HERSELF and-- NOW SHE’S FREAKING OUT I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING, SHE IS GOING BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AND FORTH “YAY NO YAY NO YAY NO YAY NO” and now crying don’t cry sweetie. “I can’t help but notice you’re a little at war with yourself here. Now, I’m only picking up bits and pieces, but” oh my god i love them both. ...he is so horrible horrible horrible. He is manipulative and she is naive and derpy but hoping to be badass and “I will use this >:o” WITH A FRYING PAN.
Ooo, it’s not!Maplehoof. ...with a crazy mouth that noms paper. OH NO MOTHER GOTHEL IS GOING BACK TO THE TOWER. OH NO OH NO OH NO. Well, I KNEW it couldn’t be so easy. Now she’s gonna chase them. She’s found the tiara....and this will cause all sorts of issues, her bribing Flynn I bet, showing her true colors, and revealing she doesn’t ACTUALLY love her fake!daughter, oh boy.
“Well, I do like ducklings :D” “YAY :D” he is so full of snark. Oh boy...this is not a good name for that. -- “Is that blood in your mustache? Goldie, look at this! Look at all the blood in his mustache! That’s a lot of blood!” [dying] pfff, his nose on that and here is our first problem. Everyone is fighting over our thief boy. Sorry, sweetheart, but a frying pan isn’t going to work this time-- oh no, oh no, don’t go after the sweet little derprincess. ...oh boy, she’s trying to appeal to them on the power of dreams and it-- ..........is working. AND THERE IS A SONG I LOVE THIS MOVIE. (Flynn: -_- )
A barbarian who wants to be a concert pianist. Everyone loves this girl. Haha. “THOUGH I DO LIKE BREAKING FEMURS YOU CAN COUNT ME WITH THE DREAMERS” dear lord. Awww, this guy wants to make a love connection that’s so sweet. We’ve got a concert pianist (Flynn: -_- ) and a romantic so far and a florist and an interior designer and a mime and a cupcake maker and a knitter and sewer and a puppeteer and a ceramic unicorn collector. “Sorry boys, I don’t dream.” [CUE SWORDS] “[CUE SINGING :D;;;;;]” And oh no there’s Mother Gothel entering the tavern. Very nice distraction, girl, now ESCAPE JUST IN TIME BECAUSE THERE’S THE GUARDS. ...awwww, the barbarians are helping them <3 that’s so sweet. “Go, live your dream.” “I will.” “Your dream stinks. I was talkin’ to her.”
It’s not!Maplehoof, the best evil horse ever, he’s named Maximus and is he part dog and part superhuman thing, he just opened up a secret passage. Oh dear now they’ve got Flynn’s double-crossed cohorts following them too. So, where are we now? --oh cute lil’ Rapunzel, he says she’s impressive and she’s all “:D” and then “[ahem, cooool 8)]” so so so much like Jade and Dave, and he smiles back :) awww, no backstory for Flynn? :( OH CHASE SEQUENCE. Don’t trip over the hair!! “Who’s that?” “They don’t like me.” “Who’s that?!” “They don’t like me either.” “WHO’S THAT?!” “Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn’t like me!” And then badass Rapunzel, swinging with her hair and FLYNN WIELDS THE FRYING PAN. And now it’s RIDE THE HAIR. [cackle] okay, so he’s a lil’ less cool than Dave, but he’s still so very Dave. ...yeah, he’s surfing a collapsing damn-thing, he’s sooo coooool. Haha, he grabs the frying pan.
Oh dear, now they’re trapped in a tunnel with water filling up, oh dear.... and i bet rapunzel can’t swim, she’s never had reason to after all-- oh dear, flynn got hurt a bit. Oh, she’s gonna sing so they can use her glowing hair as a light, I bet. ...I think? Oh, she’s crying... :( Don’t cry. Don’t cry sweetie. Comfort her. COMFORT HER. ...Eugene? ...HIS REAL NAME IS EUGENE FITZHERBERT?! Wow. “I have magic hair the glows when I sing.” I KNEW IT! USE OF HAIR. Dip beneath the surface and GLOWING HAIR, okay, how do they get out, THERE IT IS-- okay, so she CAN SWIM, somehow? Plothole, oh well, bound to be at least one.
“Her hair glows. O_o” “We actually made it! :D” “I didn’t see that coming.” “We’re alive! :D” “Her hair actually glows.” So much love. And now he is Eugene. Eugene, haha, I might still call him Ryder. But oh well, Eugene. And meanwhile, the badguys team up and the top of the screen is cutoff again. Mother Gothel and the bad boys are teaming up because she’s so utterly bitchly and manipulating them. Oh wait i just remembered this opened with Ryder/Eugene saying that this is the story of how he died-- OH I BET HE MEANS HIS THIEF PERSONA. AND NOW MAGIC HAIR HEALING POWERS.
As it grows and grows and-- haha pascel-- and his hand heals. Please don’t be a douche and try to sell her out later, Eugene. Please. Oh, he’s so not ready for this, he’s so so so normal, HAHA HE IS ALMOST FREAKING OUT HAHAHA. Awww, backstory. :( So now he knows that she never left. ;; And he’s sympathetic. Please? NOW HIS BACKSTORY :D ...”poor orphan eugene fitzherbert” “it’s a bit of a downer” and SHE JUST SCOOOOOTS UP TO HIM :D so cuuuuute. ...Awww, he just wants to be like his storybook hero that’s why he’s a thief :( I love them.
Wooow, I really am commenting on everything. Only a half hour left? :( “I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Ryder.” “Well, then you’d be the first...but thankyou.” AWWW-- OH NO OH NO MOTHER GOTHEL RUN RAPUNZEL RUN. (oh she’s aging) no don’t fall for it. She doesn’t care for you, she just wants you for your hair. ...awww, she likes Eugene ;; :X and-- YES. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. And he DOES like you, you’re a Disney Princess! DON’T LISTEN TO HER. YOU MAY BE NAIVE BUT-- ...oh NO, SHE’S DOING A REPRISE OF HER EVIL MEAN SONG-- YES SHUT UP HANNIBAL HAHA GO GIRL! ........oh no. Change in song that will still insult her and put her down. ...oh right, the deal. :/ He’s gonna leave her as soon as he gets it, please don’t though Eugene, please. >_> Evil evil woman, using reverse psychology. Oh, just be honest. :( Please, sweetie. ..she’s not gonna.
And Mother Gothel is gonna just let them destroy themselves, wow, she’s such a bitch. ...ohai, horse. So fail, he’s being dragged away by the horse. BEFRIEND THE HORSE, RAPUNZEL YOU CAN DO IT. HAHA, SHE IS LIKE MAGIC. SHE IS FRIEND TO THE ANIMALS AND he is part dog oh my god, he must be part maplehoof part bec. “HE’S A BAD HORSE” AAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Maximus hehe, he is like a dog, it’s official, he is sooo bec. Ha, striking up a deal with the horse now. “And it’s...also my birthday. Just so you know. ;D” hahaha and as she turns her back Maximus hits him I love this movie.
Awww, pretty pretty girl so excited~ Might wanna tie back that hair, it’ll get caught girl......SHE’S GETTING IT BRAIDED BY SMALL CHILDREN SO CUUUUUTE. BRAIDED WITH FLOWERS and eugene liiiikes it ;D oooo, now Rapunzel sees the lost princess picture, c’mon, girl recognize yourself, DO IT-- she starts dancing with small children I LOVE DERPRINCESS. ...Maximus ships it, shoving Eugene over to her~ ...almost made it, dance together, you two, almost made it-- she’s ~painting~ and creating purple surrounded suns and they’re hiding from the law all along and this is the best montage ever. And reading? C’mon YAY DANCE :D And now rowing across the water and.....tons of apples for Max. :) Oh boy, romantic moment~~~
Moment of truth, I’ve almost reached 72 minutes on Megavideo, if my plan doesn’t work, this’ll suck. >_> ANYWAY. Oh, sweetie, it’s gonna be everything you dreamed it will be. <3 “You get to go find a new dream” d’aaaawww. Sweetie, you still gotta tell him about the tiara and-- awww, real parents, they are sad. :’( Hugs for real parents. The king looks so old... And suddenly, lanterns. ...wow. oh wow, that’s....that’s mighty pretty. *___* even on a camcorder version of the movie-- oh, love song? LOVE SONG? :D LOVE SONG DISNEY? YES!! YES!! I CALLED IT. ..at least I hope so. ....oh gosh she’s so cute. SHE’S SO CUTE. ...that is gorgeous, I can see why that’s her dream, to see those lanterns. GOD THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. ;;
She is so utterly adorable, man. Just like all... *__* :) ...Oh love song transition YES I KNEW IT. He caught some lanterns for them. <3 And now...she’ll give him the tiara!! :D please please please don’t... oh man YES. :D “I’m not scared anymore. You know what I mean?” “[closes satchel] I’m starting to.” OH MY GOD HIS VOICE IS PRETTY AND SHE HAS SHOWN HIM THE LIGHT AND THIS IS SO CUTE AND SHE MAKES HIM NOT WANT TO CHASE DOWN HIS DAYDREAM ANYMORE AND BE WITH HER AND OH MY GOD I SHIP IT AND NOW THEY’RE SINGING OUTLOUD TO EACH OTHER AND I LOVE THIS MOVIE (oh my god i understand, eggo, i understand what you meant about shipping a disney couple so much) ............ ;; <3 [brbshipping] kiss? KISS? DISNEY KISS? PLEASE? ........
FJAIEJWAIFJEA AND THEM MEGAVIDEO fjiwja [screams] AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. [sobbing] WHYYYYYYYYYY. ... [waits 30 minutes] ...wait, [reloads, and YES IT’S WORKING] phew. That was almost horrible. Okay, back to HOPEFULLY DISNEY KISS. Please? Disney kiss? DISNEY KISS? ...hand brushing back hair. Hand on chin. Behind head. Slow progression. MOVE FOREWAR--.........evil men. Watching them. Oh no. oh no, Eugene. EUGENE. TAKE THE GIRL NOT THE TIARA. PLEASE. KISS HER. AND-- ...he’s gonna do what? Give them the tiara so they don’t go after her? Please? ;; Yeah, that’s what he’s really doing. He’s giving them the tiara so they can stop chasing the-- NO NO NO DON’T WANT RAPUNZEL. Oh god movie, stop getting fuzzy, please. ...oh no. OH NO, THE BAD MEN ARE GOING AFTER HER, WHERE’S EUGENE? WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM? ...WHY IS HE LEAVING? WHY IS HE LEAVING? NO. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
NO NO NO NO NO NO. RUN. RUN. ;; NOT MY DERPRINCESS, NO. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?! ..and mother gothel plays the hero, having betrayed them god DAMN IT HOW DO THEY FIX THIS. WE HAVE 20 MINUTES HOW DO THEY FIX THIS. ...is he going to tell the king and queen? HAS HE FIGURED OUT THAT’S THE PRINCESS? HAS HE? ;; PLEASE RAPUNZEL DON’T-- ...go with her... [sob]
....they tied him up and knocked him out to make it look like he was-- OH THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS-- GO MAX. SAVE THE DAY. SAVE THE DAAAAAY. ;; Eugene, poor Eugene. ...They’re gonna execute him. [screams] [SCREAMS] AND POOR RAPUNZEL. SHE IS SO SAD. C’mon, Mother Gothel, PLEASE, be a good woman. Feel bad for her, YOU RAISED HER C’MON. oh I can’t count on that. She is so so so sad, and she kept one of the purple sun manners aaaahhhh ...she’s putting it all together. SHE IS PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER. YOU BELONG IN THAT KINGDOM, GIRL, OH MAN SHE IS PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER-- why is the sky glowing. Why is her tower-- no, she’s remembering her mom and dad and everything oh my gosh this is the best reveal ever and she remembers herself in the tiara and SHOCK and OH NO DON’T KILL EUGENE PLEEEASE.
YES. GO, BADASS BOY, AND-- haha, yes, go Badass Boy! Go! ;; And back to Rapunzel, who has realized she’s the lost princess. CONFRONT YOUR FAKE!MOM. “Did I mumble, Mother?” oh badass. Oh noooooooooo ;; She’s finding out that Eugene is gonna diiiie. GO RAPUNZEL. GO. Badass girl. Badass-- oh no. OH NO, DON’T HURT HER. DON’T. ...ceramic unicorn? OH MY GOD CHEKOV’S GUN. CHEKOV’S GUNMEN. IT’S THE BARBARIANS!!!!! YEEEESSS!!! AND THE RETURN OF THE FRYING PAN-- mime-man, oh man, ALL OF THEM ARE USING THEIR DREAMS!
...Wow, that was great-- MAX WENT AND GOT THEM OH. :) Allllriiiight! He’s got his first friend-- oh, haha, deadpan horse like “are we really doing this now :|” fantastic, LEAP THE CHASM, HORSIE, LEAP IT. This. Is. Awesome. And now to the tower, oh no, oh no, what’s happened to her-- oh, there’s the line, and... Her hair! :D Yay! YAY! ...but there’s eight minutes left and we had a horrible cliffhang-- OH NO SHE DID IT ON PUR--fjkwejaoijfeiojiwagfihef DAGGER DAGGER DAGGER OH NO STABED Feiwhjfoeiwajgowg STABBED [screams] SHE’S GONNA KILL HIM!!!!! GO LIL’ CHAMELEON GO!!! D: she kicked him. YOU CAN DO IT, RAPUNZEL. She’s tasted freedom and she-- .... no ;; “if you let me save him, i will go with you” fdsjweioa no no no, don’t do it girl ;; :X [sooobs]
Why is he not letting her-- ;; “I won’t let you die ;;” I love this. ...Noooo he’s gonna kiss her and --fkjeiwjewiae HE CUT OFF HER HAIR. Fjiowjeaiofoewjaiejeifowjaifjweigojwoighjaoegja OH NO SHE CAN’T HEAL HIM. SHE CAN’T HEAL HIM FJEWIAOFKJOWKWA-- and now mother gothel is growing oooold and she’s gonna wither and diiiie oh boy this is dar-- fjwjiowaejf SHE FELL OUT THE TOWER O____O oh man. So dark. ...into the water, but. Still.
OH BACK TO-- no no no no, don’t let him die-- ;; ....... “you were my new dream” “and you were mine” oh man i think i’m actually crying disney why. FIVE MINUTES. THEY CANNOT KILL HIM. GIVE US A MIRACLE. THIS IS NOT HOW A DISNEY MOVIE ENDS. And she sings... ;; “bring back what once was mine” best use of that line [soooobs] ...ARE HER TEARS MAGIC? LET HER TEARS BE MAGIC. I DON’T CA-- OH GOD YES. YES YES YES YES. I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY DEUS EX-- oh hello beautiful animation-- oh man is that a flower IS A NEW FLOWER GROWING? Oh man, that is...that is niiiice. ...fweijieao HE IS HEALED. :D HE IS HEALED. “Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for Brunettes?” :DDDDDDDD
:DDDDDDDDDDD KISS. KIIIISSS. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
... :) and she returns home. /o/ ...aw, there’s gonna be no credits, are there? That’s 0k, I am 0k with that. ... :D mother-daughter reunion. :’) Good movie. Good movie. And he’s pulled into the hug!! ...AND IS THERE A WEDDING? END WITH A WEDDING? ... “the party went on for an ENTIRE WEEK, and honestly I don’t remember most of it.” [dies] And now all of the dreams are accomplished :) a Where Are They Now segment. /o/ And-- “I started going by Eugene again--“ and fkjewjia YES YES YES. Fjiwea hahaha!!! “After years and years and years of asking....I finally said yes ;D” “Eugene :|” “Alright, FINE...I asked her.” Best. Movie. BEST.
Okay. So I wanted to see the credits, but. That was...that was nice.
And ALL OF THIS IS BEHIND A CUT SO LIKE NO ONE WILL READ IT ME AND MY FAAAAIL oh should i sleep now?
And then I devoted most of my day to pirating Tangled, because 1) I REALLY WANTED TO SEE THIS MOVIE IN THEATERS AND COULD NOT WAIT ;; and 2) while lurking on the Homestuck forums I have learned that just about everyone compares the main characters to Jade and Dave and uh, hi, OTP, soooo. Yeah. No way in hell am I waiting like I did for Princess and the Frog. This took forever to actually accomplish because we can’t torrent here and the .rars I was downloading failed, so I’ve settled for Megavideo. Sigh.
I took several naps over the course of the day and had dinner at midnight. I couldn’t focus on homework that isn’t due until 2:40 tomorrow, so I decided I’ll do it tomorrow in-between classes. And throughout all of this, Eggo, Ginny, and I created a Gay Horror Sex Comedy movie-plot that is probably the most epic thing that will never exist. Eggo and Ginny started it, I just helped with the plot and some casting (AND GAVE IT SUMMER GLAU). I now want to create an RP account of the Summer Glau character who is deadpan and sneaky and a badass normal in a world of witches and gets ALL the sex and goes :3 all the time.
And now I’m watching Tangled (not bad quality for a camera in a theater) and YES, Rapunzel is SO VERY MUCH JADE and the first song is so so so so cute. Mandy Moore is a GREAT Disney Princess and I’m only seven minutes in. I really wish I had seen this in theaters, but what can you do? Oh, look, it’s our male lead, he’s already done some narration and damn it, the top of the screen is cut off :/ oh well. ...Looks like he’s a thief? Oh god, I love this already. ...I can see why people compare him to Dave, he’s got this coolkid persona to him. The lack of top-screen really is a bit annoying, really sigh, but oh well. The evil witch woman - what’s her name again? Mother Gothel? Yes. - she’s actually sort of quirky and I almost like her, ha. Except for the fact that she’s a kidnapping little bitch-- HAHAHAHAHA, THIS GIRL IS SO CRAZY AND WILD I LOVE HER.-- oh, YAY, the camera shifted and I can see the top of the screen now. ...She mumbles. SHE MUMBLES. Okay, I’m in love with this movie only ten minutes in.
New paragraph. Oh, Mother Gothel’s singing voice is really nice too. I really love these songs. SHADOW PUPPETS-- “THE PLAGUE. :|” I adore this. I really do. I promise I’ll start commenting only on important things, REALLY. This poor little girl, this whole song is telling her why she can’t go outside and insulting her the whole time the WHOLE TIME, telling her how much she fails and then DON’T EVER ASK TO LEAVE THIS TOWER AGAIN AND SHE DOESN’T REALLY LOVE YOU SWEETIE, SHE’S JUST USING YOU FOR YOUR MAGIC HAIR. Okay, back to our male lead. I love that he’s not a prince, he’s a thief.-- a thief with an ego, hahaha. And all I can see is a slightly more emotional Dave here, he’s so snarky. ...and backstabbing-- HIS LAST NAME IS RIDER?! (okay Ryder) OH GOD IT’S MEANT TO BEEEEE. HE IS DAVE AND RAPUNZEL IS JADE AND THIS MOVIE IS MY FAVORITE. ... >_> and the horse is Maplehoof. OKAY HOMESTUCK REFERENCES OVER FOR THE MOMENT. ...Even the HORSE is against him getting the treasure, he cannot get a break, poor thief-boy-Ryder. He’s hiding from a horse. Ha.
AND NOW OUR MALE HERO STUMBLES UPON OUR PRINCESS’S ABODE. And scales the tower himself, wow. ...and she hits him with a frying pan, i love this movie. This mysterious creature is called a man, sweetie. The first one she’s ever seen, oh wow. ...and she’s fascinated. So cu--....there’s the frying pan again. lolderp. Unable to lock him in the closet. She is such a DERPY PRINCESS. I ADORE HER. ...She’s so happy about having a p-- SHE JUST HIT HERSELF IN THE HEAD WITH THE FRYING PAN. DERPTASTIC PRINCESS. SO DERPY. I LOVE HER. She doesn’t know how to wear the stolen tiara. OH RAPUNZEL CAN I SQUISH YOU???? ...awww, the top of the screen is cut off again just a bit :/
Oh no, don’t tell your fake!mommy that you’ve got a boy in the closet, please don’t. :( Oh she just got yelled at. Don’t cry. Please. If you cry I might wanna wibble. I can see the gears turning in her head. I can see them. Oh you smart lil’ woobie girl. ...This woman-- I hope she actually does care about Rapunzel, how can you NOT, she’s so cute :X Even though she kidnapped her just for her magic hair and keeps her locked up...idk, I don’t see how you can’t love her. so anyway.
...Okay, maybe I should stop commentating on everything and just save this for the ~*~*~big~*~*~ things. >_> she tied him up with her hair. So cute. And she’s hiding in the shadows and is utterly afraid of him hahaha. ........AND NOW HE’S TRYING TO SWEET TALK HER AND IT ISN’T WORKING. Okay, Flynn Ryder, I like you. “alright blondie” “rapunzel :|” “gessundheit” ...knocked out again hahaha. NOW ONLY IMPORTANT THINGS. She’s talking to Pascel the lil’ chameleon. <3 This is one clever derprincess. Yes.
“Something brought you here, Flynn Ryder. Call it what you will. Fate, destiny--“ “A horse. :|” i love this movie. And now Ryder is all “[SMOLDER]” and she’s all “[it’s not very effective]” and he’s all “ :/ this is an off-day for me” and I love them. OH, YAY IT’S A REPRISE OF HER FIRST SONG I LOVE HER SONG. GO RAPUNZEL, GO. GO. YAY. INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, DERPRINCESS. So cute and in lilac. <3 ...I love her reprise. This is so heartwarming. SO HEARTWARMING. I CANNOT STOP SMILING. DISNEY, THANK YOU. (I swear this will get more coherent, no i’m lying) TWIRL SPIN BIRDS, DISNEY MOVIE.
She’s got a lil’ squeal and she’s TALKING OT HERSELF and-- NOW SHE’S FREAKING OUT I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING, SHE IS GOING BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AND FORTH AND BACK AND FORTH “YAY NO YAY NO YAY NO YAY NO” and now crying don’t cry sweetie. “I can’t help but notice you’re a little at war with yourself here. Now, I’m only picking up bits and pieces, but” oh my god i love them both. ...he is so horrible horrible horrible. He is manipulative and she is naive and derpy but hoping to be badass and “I will use this >:o” WITH A FRYING PAN.
Ooo, it’s not!Maplehoof. ...with a crazy mouth that noms paper. OH NO MOTHER GOTHEL IS GOING BACK TO THE TOWER. OH NO OH NO OH NO. Well, I KNEW it couldn’t be so easy. Now she’s gonna chase them. She’s found the tiara....and this will cause all sorts of issues, her bribing Flynn I bet, showing her true colors, and revealing she doesn’t ACTUALLY love her fake!daughter, oh boy.
“Well, I do like ducklings :D” “YAY :D” he is so full of snark. Oh boy...this is not a good name for that. -- “Is that blood in your mustache? Goldie, look at this! Look at all the blood in his mustache! That’s a lot of blood!” [dying] pfff, his nose on that and here is our first problem. Everyone is fighting over our thief boy. Sorry, sweetheart, but a frying pan isn’t going to work this time-- oh no, oh no, don’t go after the sweet little derprincess. ...oh boy, she’s trying to appeal to them on the power of dreams and it-- ..........is working. AND THERE IS A SONG I LOVE THIS MOVIE. (Flynn: -_- )
A barbarian who wants to be a concert pianist. Everyone loves this girl. Haha. “THOUGH I DO LIKE BREAKING FEMURS YOU CAN COUNT ME WITH THE DREAMERS” dear lord. Awww, this guy wants to make a love connection that’s so sweet. We’ve got a concert pianist (Flynn: -_- ) and a romantic so far and a florist and an interior designer and a mime and a cupcake maker and a knitter and sewer and a puppeteer and a ceramic unicorn collector. “Sorry boys, I don’t dream.” [CUE SWORDS] “[CUE SINGING :D;;;;;]” And oh no there’s Mother Gothel entering the tavern. Very nice distraction, girl, now ESCAPE JUST IN TIME BECAUSE THERE’S THE GUARDS. ...awwww, the barbarians are helping them <3 that’s so sweet. “Go, live your dream.” “I will.” “Your dream stinks. I was talkin’ to her.”
It’s not!Maplehoof, the best evil horse ever, he’s named Maximus and is he part dog and part superhuman thing, he just opened up a secret passage. Oh dear now they’ve got Flynn’s double-crossed cohorts following them too. So, where are we now? --oh cute lil’ Rapunzel, he says she’s impressive and she’s all “:D” and then “[ahem, cooool 8)]” so so so much like Jade and Dave, and he smiles back :) awww, no backstory for Flynn? :( OH CHASE SEQUENCE. Don’t trip over the hair!! “Who’s that?” “They don’t like me.” “Who’s that?!” “They don’t like me either.” “WHO’S THAT?!” “Let’s just assume for the moment that everyone in here doesn’t like me!” And then badass Rapunzel, swinging with her hair and FLYNN WIELDS THE FRYING PAN. And now it’s RIDE THE HAIR. [cackle] okay, so he’s a lil’ less cool than Dave, but he’s still so very Dave. ...yeah, he’s surfing a collapsing damn-thing, he’s sooo coooool. Haha, he grabs the frying pan.
Oh dear, now they’re trapped in a tunnel with water filling up, oh dear.... and i bet rapunzel can’t swim, she’s never had reason to after all-- oh dear, flynn got hurt a bit. Oh, she’s gonna sing so they can use her glowing hair as a light, I bet. ...I think? Oh, she’s crying... :( Don’t cry. Don’t cry sweetie. Comfort her. COMFORT HER. ...Eugene? ...HIS REAL NAME IS EUGENE FITZHERBERT?! Wow. “I have magic hair the glows when I sing.” I KNEW IT! USE OF HAIR. Dip beneath the surface and GLOWING HAIR, okay, how do they get out, THERE IT IS-- okay, so she CAN SWIM, somehow? Plothole, oh well, bound to be at least one.
“Her hair glows. O_o” “We actually made it! :D” “I didn’t see that coming.” “We’re alive! :D” “Her hair actually glows.” So much love. And now he is Eugene. Eugene, haha, I might still call him Ryder. But oh well, Eugene. And meanwhile, the badguys team up and the top of the screen is cutoff again. Mother Gothel and the bad boys are teaming up because she’s so utterly bitchly and manipulating them. Oh wait i just remembered this opened with Ryder/Eugene saying that this is the story of how he died-- OH I BET HE MEANS HIS THIEF PERSONA. AND NOW MAGIC HAIR HEALING POWERS.
As it grows and grows and-- haha pascel-- and his hand heals. Please don’t be a douche and try to sell her out later, Eugene. Please. Oh, he’s so not ready for this, he’s so so so normal, HAHA HE IS ALMOST FREAKING OUT HAHAHA. Awww, backstory. :( So now he knows that she never left. ;; And he’s sympathetic. Please? NOW HIS BACKSTORY :D ...”poor orphan eugene fitzherbert” “it’s a bit of a downer” and SHE JUST SCOOOOOTS UP TO HIM :D so cuuuuute. ...Awww, he just wants to be like his storybook hero that’s why he’s a thief :( I love them.
Wooow, I really am commenting on everything. Only a half hour left? :( “I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Ryder.” “Well, then you’d be the first...but thankyou.” AWWW-- OH NO OH NO MOTHER GOTHEL RUN RAPUNZEL RUN. (oh she’s aging) no don’t fall for it. She doesn’t care for you, she just wants you for your hair. ...awww, she likes Eugene ;; :X and-- YES. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. And he DOES like you, you’re a Disney Princess! DON’T LISTEN TO HER. YOU MAY BE NAIVE BUT-- ...oh NO, SHE’S DOING A REPRISE OF HER EVIL MEAN SONG-- YES SHUT UP HANNIBAL HAHA GO GIRL! ........oh no. Change in song that will still insult her and put her down. ...oh right, the deal. :/ He’s gonna leave her as soon as he gets it, please don’t though Eugene, please. >_> Evil evil woman, using reverse psychology. Oh, just be honest. :( Please, sweetie. ..she’s not gonna.
And Mother Gothel is gonna just let them destroy themselves, wow, she’s such a bitch. ...ohai, horse. So fail, he’s being dragged away by the horse. BEFRIEND THE HORSE, RAPUNZEL YOU CAN DO IT. HAHA, SHE IS LIKE MAGIC. SHE IS FRIEND TO THE ANIMALS AND he is part dog oh my god, he must be part maplehoof part bec. “HE’S A BAD HORSE” AAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Maximus hehe, he is like a dog, it’s official, he is sooo bec. Ha, striking up a deal with the horse now. “And it’s...also my birthday. Just so you know. ;D” hahaha and as she turns her back Maximus hits him I love this movie.
Awww, pretty pretty girl so excited~ Might wanna tie back that hair, it’ll get caught girl......SHE’S GETTING IT BRAIDED BY SMALL CHILDREN SO CUUUUUTE. BRAIDED WITH FLOWERS and eugene liiiikes it ;D oooo, now Rapunzel sees the lost princess picture, c’mon, girl recognize yourself, DO IT-- she starts dancing with small children I LOVE DERPRINCESS. ...Maximus ships it, shoving Eugene over to her~ ...almost made it, dance together, you two, almost made it-- she’s ~painting~ and creating purple surrounded suns and they’re hiding from the law all along and this is the best montage ever. And reading? C’mon YAY DANCE :D And now rowing across the water and.....tons of apples for Max. :) Oh boy, romantic moment~~~
Moment of truth, I’ve almost reached 72 minutes on Megavideo, if my plan doesn’t work, this’ll suck. >_> ANYWAY. Oh, sweetie, it’s gonna be everything you dreamed it will be. <3 “You get to go find a new dream” d’aaaawww. Sweetie, you still gotta tell him about the tiara and-- awww, real parents, they are sad. :’( Hugs for real parents. The king looks so old... And suddenly, lanterns. ...wow. oh wow, that’s....that’s mighty pretty. *___* even on a camcorder version of the movie-- oh, love song? LOVE SONG? :D LOVE SONG DISNEY? YES!! YES!! I CALLED IT. ..at least I hope so. ....oh gosh she’s so cute. SHE’S SO CUTE. ...that is gorgeous, I can see why that’s her dream, to see those lanterns. GOD THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. ;;
She is so utterly adorable, man. Just like all... *__* :) ...Oh love song transition YES I KNEW IT. He caught some lanterns for them. <3 And now...she’ll give him the tiara!! :D please please please don’t... oh man YES. :D “I’m not scared anymore. You know what I mean?” “[closes satchel] I’m starting to.” OH MY GOD HIS VOICE IS PRETTY AND SHE HAS SHOWN HIM THE LIGHT AND THIS IS SO CUTE AND SHE MAKES HIM NOT WANT TO CHASE DOWN HIS DAYDREAM ANYMORE AND BE WITH HER AND OH MY GOD I SHIP IT AND NOW THEY’RE SINGING OUTLOUD TO EACH OTHER AND I LOVE THIS MOVIE (oh my god i understand, eggo, i understand what you meant about shipping a disney couple so much) ............ ;; <3 [brbshipping] kiss? KISS? DISNEY KISS? PLEASE? ........
FJAIEJWAIFJEA AND THEM MEGAVIDEO fjiwja [screams] AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. [sobbing] WHYYYYYYYYYY. ... [waits 30 minutes] ...wait, [reloads, and YES IT’S WORKING] phew. That was almost horrible. Okay, back to HOPEFULLY DISNEY KISS. Please? Disney kiss? DISNEY KISS? ...hand brushing back hair. Hand on chin. Behind head. Slow progression. MOVE FOREWAR--.........evil men. Watching them. Oh no. oh no, Eugene. EUGENE. TAKE THE GIRL NOT THE TIARA. PLEASE. KISS HER. AND-- ...he’s gonna do what? Give them the tiara so they don’t go after her? Please? ;; Yeah, that’s what he’s really doing. He’s giving them the tiara so they can stop chasing the-- NO NO NO DON’T WANT RAPUNZEL. Oh god movie, stop getting fuzzy, please. ...oh no. OH NO, THE BAD MEN ARE GOING AFTER HER, WHERE’S EUGENE? WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM? ...WHY IS HE LEAVING? WHY IS HE LEAVING? NO. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
NO NO NO NO NO NO. RUN. RUN. ;; NOT MY DERPRINCESS, NO. WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?! ..and mother gothel plays the hero, having betrayed them god DAMN IT HOW DO THEY FIX THIS. WE HAVE 20 MINUTES HOW DO THEY FIX THIS. ...is he going to tell the king and queen? HAS HE FIGURED OUT THAT’S THE PRINCESS? HAS HE? ;; PLEASE RAPUNZEL DON’T-- ...go with her... [sob]
....they tied him up and knocked him out to make it look like he was-- OH THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS-- GO MAX. SAVE THE DAY. SAVE THE DAAAAAY. ;; Eugene, poor Eugene. ...They’re gonna execute him. [screams] [SCREAMS] AND POOR RAPUNZEL. SHE IS SO SAD. C’mon, Mother Gothel, PLEASE, be a good woman. Feel bad for her, YOU RAISED HER C’MON. oh I can’t count on that. She is so so so sad, and she kept one of the purple sun manners aaaahhhh ...she’s putting it all together. SHE IS PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER. YOU BELONG IN THAT KINGDOM, GIRL, OH MAN SHE IS PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER-- why is the sky glowing. Why is her tower-- no, she’s remembering her mom and dad and everything oh my gosh this is the best reveal ever and she remembers herself in the tiara and SHOCK and OH NO DON’T KILL EUGENE PLEEEASE.
YES. GO, BADASS BOY, AND-- haha, yes, go Badass Boy! Go! ;; And back to Rapunzel, who has realized she’s the lost princess. CONFRONT YOUR FAKE!MOM. “Did I mumble, Mother?” oh badass. Oh noooooooooo ;; She’s finding out that Eugene is gonna diiiie. GO RAPUNZEL. GO. Badass girl. Badass-- oh no. OH NO, DON’T HURT HER. DON’T. ...ceramic unicorn? OH MY GOD CHEKOV’S GUN. CHEKOV’S GUNMEN. IT’S THE BARBARIANS!!!!! YEEEESSS!!! AND THE RETURN OF THE FRYING PAN-- mime-man, oh man, ALL OF THEM ARE USING THEIR DREAMS!
...Wow, that was great-- MAX WENT AND GOT THEM OH. :) Allllriiiight! He’s got his first friend-- oh, haha, deadpan horse like “are we really doing this now :|” fantastic, LEAP THE CHASM, HORSIE, LEAP IT. This. Is. Awesome. And now to the tower, oh no, oh no, what’s happened to her-- oh, there’s the line, and... Her hair! :D Yay! YAY! ...but there’s eight minutes left and we had a horrible cliffhang-- OH NO SHE DID IT ON PUR--fjkwejaoijfeiojiwagfihef DAGGER DAGGER DAGGER OH NO STABED Feiwhjfoeiwajgowg STABBED [screams] SHE’S GONNA KILL HIM!!!!! GO LIL’ CHAMELEON GO!!! D: she kicked him. YOU CAN DO IT, RAPUNZEL. She’s tasted freedom and she-- .... no ;; “if you let me save him, i will go with you” fdsjweioa no no no, don’t do it girl ;; :X [sooobs]
Why is he not letting her-- ;; “I won’t let you die ;;” I love this. ...Noooo he’s gonna kiss her and --fkjeiwjewiae HE CUT OFF HER HAIR. Fjiowjeaiofoewjaiejeifowjaifjweigojwoighjaoegja OH NO SHE CAN’T HEAL HIM. SHE CAN’T HEAL HIM FJEWIAOFKJOWKWA-- and now mother gothel is growing oooold and she’s gonna wither and diiiie oh boy this is dar-- fjwjiowaejf SHE FELL OUT THE TOWER O____O oh man. So dark. ...into the water, but. Still.
OH BACK TO-- no no no no, don’t let him die-- ;; ....... “you were my new dream” “and you were mine” oh man i think i’m actually crying disney why. FIVE MINUTES. THEY CANNOT KILL HIM. GIVE US A MIRACLE. THIS IS NOT HOW A DISNEY MOVIE ENDS. And she sings... ;; “bring back what once was mine” best use of that line [soooobs] ...ARE HER TEARS MAGIC? LET HER TEARS BE MAGIC. I DON’T CA-- OH GOD YES. YES YES YES YES. I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY DEUS EX-- oh hello beautiful animation-- oh man is that a flower IS A NEW FLOWER GROWING? Oh man, that is...that is niiiice. ...fweijieao HE IS HEALED. :D HE IS HEALED. “Did I ever tell you I’ve got a thing for Brunettes?” :DDDDDDDD
:DDDDDDDDDDD KISS. KIIIISSS. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
... :) and she returns home. /o/ ...aw, there’s gonna be no credits, are there? That’s 0k, I am 0k with that. ... :D mother-daughter reunion. :’) Good movie. Good movie. And he’s pulled into the hug!! ...AND IS THERE A WEDDING? END WITH A WEDDING? ... “the party went on for an ENTIRE WEEK, and honestly I don’t remember most of it.” [dies] And now all of the dreams are accomplished :) a Where Are They Now segment. /o/ And-- “I started going by Eugene again--“ and fkjewjia YES YES YES. Fjiwea hahaha!!! “After years and years and years of asking....I finally said yes ;D” “Eugene :|” “Alright, FINE...I asked her.” Best. Movie. BEST.
Okay. So I wanted to see the credits, but. That was...that was nice.
And ALL OF THIS IS BEHIND A CUT SO LIKE NO ONE WILL READ IT ME AND MY FAAAAIL oh should i sleep now?