SO THAT HAPPENED.
I haven't actually made a post dealing with Real Life in awhile. So uh. Let's go!!
The story has to start in this week, with the very short backstory of I spent the week trying very hard to get back into my schedule of naps and still staying up late. That failed. Quite hard, as I had to wake up earlier for an earlier class. So the moral of the story is I spent the week exhausted, positively exhausted. Wednesday, I woke up at midnight after sleeping for eight hours. I stayed up all night and then decided to stay up 'til the following midnight. Mix in, with all of this, Firefly, as Eggo has not seen it, and you have a day where I transcended exhaustion...and then promptly passed out for another eight hours, midnight to eight. Then we get to Friday. Ryan was to come down, which he did. I had a productive day of classes, productive day of getting everything done, productive everything. I skyped my best friend, I got to pick him up at the train on time. There was supposed to be Inception at night, but that fell through so we plugged an HDMI cable into my TV, watched Firefly in HD, it was nice.
And Ryan slept on my floor, it all went rather nice, save for Ryan having some technical trouble with his laptop.
And then..........then we reach Saturday. Oh. Oh dear. Good night of sleep, we went out to lunch, we had plans. Ryan and I spent the afternoon stunned about Tucson and Representative Gifford, completely unhappy and wondering why the world is full of horrible people. Then....it's time for dinner, leading into laundry in the night. It was me, Ryan, Eggo, Kyrie, and Devin -- but Devin took awhile to get there. So we went up and got cookies right after and started making them, me being irrationally cranky the whole time. Eventually, Devin showed up and we went upstairs to get cookies, which we promptly started making. Devin and Ryan realized my back was full of so many knots I could probably create seventeen shoes. So Devin gave me a mind-blowing, life-altering back massage where I ended up screaming and going crazy. In a good way.
So we finished the cookies and I continued to be grumpy and we started Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Did you guys know that that movie has someone getting their finger cut off? Flashback to just before my eighth birthday where I saw a man at my brother's boyscout camp cut off his finger with a tomahawk. Childhood trauma!!! So I freaked out and then my friends started telling stories about getting fingers caught in cardoors (THANKS KYRIE) and all other sorts of nonsense that made me scream and curl into a ball and start plotting the death of all four people in the room. Room meaning just outside the laundry room. So I started freaking out and having flashbacks to my childhood trauma. We continued the movie until the next scene involving the finger getting pulled off. I freaked again. And then started to hide horribly in Devin's lap, like I had been the whole night. At one point, I got groped.
Now, before I get any further, I must explain one very important factor: Eggo and Devin have been having a lot of fun together since about a month into first term. By fun I mean sex. Yay. So they were planning on doing something tonight, but, well, Eggo's feminine life? Yeah, fucked that up. I do not need to go into anymore details. So there's pent-up sexual frustration and often make-outs tonight at inappropriate times. So yes.
So I hide in Devin's lap and begin complaining again about the horrible knot in my right shoulder (my poor poor right shoulder). (Also, Kyrie and Eggo have a mix of sexual tension and yelling back and forth, my LIFE IS SO HARD.) So I'm hiding. And somehow-- SOMEHOW-- Devin's twisted logic translated as such: Ashley's shoulder is hurting. Devin is good at making it not hurt as she has in the past with other people. This has involved teeth and biting. So Devin, with her twisted logic, has her head on my back.
And then she bites.
At first it's just my hoodie, but then -- but then, startlingly -- she hits skin. And it hurts. Because I think she pinches a nerve. And I screamed and started asking why she was biting me. Cue reason popping up!! Because the nerve was pinched or something, I started, from reflex, crying and tearing up, looking quite surprised and stunned the whole time, staring at Devin while she was stammering and wondering also why she nommed my shoulder. I started rambling about how I couldn't stop and then-- then Eggo started pulling Devin over and make-outs commenced -- in her logic, if she gave Devin an outlet for said biting, then it would all be hunky-dory. Kyrie was babbling about how they had inappropriate timing, I was babbling about how I needed to cry it out, and by the end of this, I had a very raw throat from screaming, Eggo did not get any sexual pleasure, Kyrie was declaring the both of them horrible people, Devin was absolutely guilty of everything, and Ryan was the poor innocent bystander subjected to our insanity.
Welcome, dear world, to my life. At one point, I got the remains of a chocolate cookie on my foot. After a long period of recovery and "why the fuck did you bite my shoulder" and all that stuff, we continued watching the Best Movie Ever (save for the finger stuff) and enjoyed. I in this, while asking the burning question of said shoulder biting, coined the wonderful term Chicks Before Licks. You may laugh now. I threw on the Kitty Hat of Authority (it's fun, I lecture people while wearing it) and declared that all must be relaxed and calm and I forgave everyone as long as I could reasonably guilt them later (I will henceforth remind Devin of her transgression for the next three weeks).
So now here we are. Sitting outside the laundry room in the basement of my dorm and I am going to go and empty my long-finished laundry.
What is my life, everyone? What is it? My friends are abusive or neurotic or both and I love them. And my family is mean too (hi Ryan).
Now, world: What will Sunday throw at me?
EDIT: OH AND AT ONE POINT DURING THE RECOVERY PERIOD I TOSSED ON MY KITTY HAT AND GOT FILLED WITH ADRENALINE AND WHITE HOT RAGE AND WHEN DEVIN WAS SAYING SOMETHING I DO NOT REMEMBER WHAT I TRIED TO STRANGLE HER. YEAH.
The story has to start in this week, with the very short backstory of I spent the week trying very hard to get back into my schedule of naps and still staying up late. That failed. Quite hard, as I had to wake up earlier for an earlier class. So the moral of the story is I spent the week exhausted, positively exhausted. Wednesday, I woke up at midnight after sleeping for eight hours. I stayed up all night and then decided to stay up 'til the following midnight. Mix in, with all of this, Firefly, as Eggo has not seen it, and you have a day where I transcended exhaustion...and then promptly passed out for another eight hours, midnight to eight. Then we get to Friday. Ryan was to come down, which he did. I had a productive day of classes, productive day of getting everything done, productive everything. I skyped my best friend, I got to pick him up at the train on time. There was supposed to be Inception at night, but that fell through so we plugged an HDMI cable into my TV, watched Firefly in HD, it was nice.
And Ryan slept on my floor, it all went rather nice, save for Ryan having some technical trouble with his laptop.
And then..........then we reach Saturday. Oh. Oh dear. Good night of sleep, we went out to lunch, we had plans. Ryan and I spent the afternoon stunned about Tucson and Representative Gifford, completely unhappy and wondering why the world is full of horrible people. Then....it's time for dinner, leading into laundry in the night. It was me, Ryan, Eggo, Kyrie, and Devin -- but Devin took awhile to get there. So we went up and got cookies right after and started making them, me being irrationally cranky the whole time. Eventually, Devin showed up and we went upstairs to get cookies, which we promptly started making. Devin and Ryan realized my back was full of so many knots I could probably create seventeen shoes. So Devin gave me a mind-blowing, life-altering back massage where I ended up screaming and going crazy. In a good way.
So we finished the cookies and I continued to be grumpy and we started Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Did you guys know that that movie has someone getting their finger cut off? Flashback to just before my eighth birthday where I saw a man at my brother's boyscout camp cut off his finger with a tomahawk. Childhood trauma!!! So I freaked out and then my friends started telling stories about getting fingers caught in cardoors (THANKS KYRIE) and all other sorts of nonsense that made me scream and curl into a ball and start plotting the death of all four people in the room. Room meaning just outside the laundry room. So I started freaking out and having flashbacks to my childhood trauma. We continued the movie until the next scene involving the finger getting pulled off. I freaked again. And then started to hide horribly in Devin's lap, like I had been the whole night. At one point, I got groped.
Now, before I get any further, I must explain one very important factor: Eggo and Devin have been having a lot of fun together since about a month into first term. By fun I mean sex. Yay. So they were planning on doing something tonight, but, well, Eggo's feminine life? Yeah, fucked that up. I do not need to go into anymore details. So there's pent-up sexual frustration and often make-outs tonight at inappropriate times. So yes.
So I hide in Devin's lap and begin complaining again about the horrible knot in my right shoulder (my poor poor right shoulder). (Also, Kyrie and Eggo have a mix of sexual tension and yelling back and forth, my LIFE IS SO HARD.) So I'm hiding. And somehow-- SOMEHOW-- Devin's twisted logic translated as such: Ashley's shoulder is hurting. Devin is good at making it not hurt as she has in the past with other people. This has involved teeth and biting. So Devin, with her twisted logic, has her head on my back.
And then she bites.
At first it's just my hoodie, but then -- but then, startlingly -- she hits skin. And it hurts. Because I think she pinches a nerve. And I screamed and started asking why she was biting me. Cue reason popping up!! Because the nerve was pinched or something, I started, from reflex, crying and tearing up, looking quite surprised and stunned the whole time, staring at Devin while she was stammering and wondering also why she nommed my shoulder. I started rambling about how I couldn't stop and then-- then Eggo started pulling Devin over and make-outs commenced -- in her logic, if she gave Devin an outlet for said biting, then it would all be hunky-dory. Kyrie was babbling about how they had inappropriate timing, I was babbling about how I needed to cry it out, and by the end of this, I had a very raw throat from screaming, Eggo did not get any sexual pleasure, Kyrie was declaring the both of them horrible people, Devin was absolutely guilty of everything, and Ryan was the poor innocent bystander subjected to our insanity.
Welcome, dear world, to my life. At one point, I got the remains of a chocolate cookie on my foot. After a long period of recovery and "why the fuck did you bite my shoulder" and all that stuff, we continued watching the Best Movie Ever (save for the finger stuff) and enjoyed. I in this, while asking the burning question of said shoulder biting, coined the wonderful term Chicks Before Licks. You may laugh now. I threw on the Kitty Hat of Authority (it's fun, I lecture people while wearing it) and declared that all must be relaxed and calm and I forgave everyone as long as I could reasonably guilt them later (I will henceforth remind Devin of her transgression for the next three weeks).
So now here we are. Sitting outside the laundry room in the basement of my dorm and I am going to go and empty my long-finished laundry.
What is my life, everyone? What is it? My friends are abusive or neurotic or both and I love them. And my family is mean too (hi Ryan).
Now, world: What will Sunday throw at me?
EDIT: OH AND AT ONE POINT DURING THE RECOVERY PERIOD I TOSSED ON MY KITTY HAT AND GOT FILLED WITH ADRENALINE AND WHITE HOT RAGE AND WHEN DEVIN WAS SAYING SOMETHING I DO NOT REMEMBER WHAT I TRIED TO STRANGLE HER. YEAH.