Housemates
Ahh..
It has certainly been a while but there is much to be said. Living with different people always offers a new experience. I have learned from every housemate/roommate I've ever had.
1. Lindsey - living in our room in Baxter... I learned that it's best to bring up issues when they arise rather than let them sit. I also learned it works out great if I can manage to bring up an issue that a roommate's family can affirm while I leave for the next few days after pointing it out. I also learned that it's great to be friends but not to spend ample amounts of time together. And that befriending the friends of a roommate is always a good way to maintain a healthy relationship. Aaaaand it's good to have SOME things in common.
2. Melissa - in the duplex of the Embassy. I learned that it is really fantastic to share food when space is limited and eating styles are similar. I also learned it's good to have a living space and a bedroom space. I learned that cleanliness really matters to me and it's hard to have shared spaces when it's not mutual. I learned that the kitchen is always a place where people can become frustrated with one another in matters of cleanliness - and a good way to solve a "dirty dish" offense is to keep dirty dishes in personal space until there is time to wash them.
3. The Grotto. I learned from Sam that there are people who will take things out on me all throughout my life regardless of my involvement or lack thereof. I also learned from Sam that sharing a bathroom also merits cleaning agreements. I learned from Aaron that garlic can really boost the flavor of a lot of meals - and everybody appreciates a comment on beauty. I learned from Bekka that running a house demands GREAT communication or else the relationships are difficult to maintain. I learned from Elspeth that it's totally possible to take a small room and make it spacious. I learned from Katie that school and life are not always easy and it's okay to relax and take a nap. I learned from them all that the most memorable and happy times were while eating meals together.
4. The Cottage... Summer 1: Jonathan, Jake, Joannah and Lindsey. I learned that a little generosity goes a long way from Jonathan - and it's really appreciated to have someone thoughtful around that will clean dishes. I learned from Jake to go and DO things rather than just sit back and want to do things. I learned from Joannah (and many others in my life) that family is really important and should always take priority. I learned that it's hard to be gone a lot and develop meaningful friendships with housemates that are subletters for a short time.
5. The Cottage...Year 1: Emily, Shannon, Carisa, Joannah. I learned from Emily that meals always taste more incredible when made healthily, well-rounded, and with copious amounts of love. I learned from Shannon that passive-aggressive is not something desirable from anybody and it's better to talk things through than leave notes. I learned from Carisa that white rooms are much better with colored curtains and that sometimes it's better to consider change rather than being upset in circumstances. I learned from Joannah, more, that managing a house is a task that still takes a lot of communication. From everybody I learned education is something to value and cherish and that house meals are a wonderful tool in easing stress as well as saving money. I also learned that setting aside time for housemates is important.
6. The Cottage...Summer 2: Rachael, Rebecca, Kyrsten, Angie, Joannah. I learned from Rachael that it's hard to stay on top of things when your wedding is approaching! I also learned that it's a good idea to recruit housemates and friends to help out with wedding-related tasks. I learned from Rebecca that there is a fine line between polite and awkward when it comes to knocking on doors - but that some people are really used to knocking on doors and waiting until it is opened to them. I learned from Kyrsten that everyone is from a different background and we all have things to offer to one another. I learned that deco paging a box is a cute way to store things and that working hard in life can be tough but rewarding all at once. I learned from Angie that it is very important to take time to ask about days, have conversations, and laugh. I learned from Joannah, again, that family is very important.
7. The Cottage...Year 2: Dani, Shelby, Melissa and Joannah. It's still in process, but I'm learning a lot... from Dani, I'm learning that communication is vital in keeping friendships and sister-relationships alive while in a housemate situation. I am learning that there is a balance between sharing too much and sharing too little - and that the balance needs to be discovered rather than simply given. I am learning that people are not always as they seem in their daily lives and may change when in a "safe place." Shelby is showing me how teasing may cross the line in some instances. She's also taught me how much difference one small gesture (such as a kit-kat bar) can make in a day... and that it's really important to check in and talk together and encourage one another. I am learning from Melissa that everybody lives life differently - some get married young and live in basements of parent's houses and some get married a few years after college when they can support themselves. She's shown me that it's good to take interest in other people's lives but there is a point where space is also important. Joannah continues to teach me the value of respect and hard work. I am still learning from them but I really like these girls.
I am thankful for all of these living situations. When I look back I don't think any of them were unbearable and as I live now I've started to notice something: All this time I've been saying I'm not a patient person because I look at it from the context of when somebody wants to dump drama in my life over and over and over and over... but I've realized that I'm actually quite patient. I am the one Sam took liberty of yelling at because he knew it wouldn't ruin anything between us. I am the one frequently targeted by others who have admitted to use me as a scapegoat. I also am the most non-reactant to these confrontations. Not because I don't care but because I don't want to aggravate situations that I don't really understand to begin with. Perhaps I'm more patient than I realized. Or perhaps I'm actually a terrible housemate and people just put up with me... who knows... anyway... life is crazy.
It has certainly been a while but there is much to be said. Living with different people always offers a new experience. I have learned from every housemate/roommate I've ever had.
1. Lindsey - living in our room in Baxter... I learned that it's best to bring up issues when they arise rather than let them sit. I also learned it works out great if I can manage to bring up an issue that a roommate's family can affirm while I leave for the next few days after pointing it out. I also learned that it's great to be friends but not to spend ample amounts of time together. And that befriending the friends of a roommate is always a good way to maintain a healthy relationship. Aaaaand it's good to have SOME things in common.
2. Melissa - in the duplex of the Embassy. I learned that it is really fantastic to share food when space is limited and eating styles are similar. I also learned it's good to have a living space and a bedroom space. I learned that cleanliness really matters to me and it's hard to have shared spaces when it's not mutual. I learned that the kitchen is always a place where people can become frustrated with one another in matters of cleanliness - and a good way to solve a "dirty dish" offense is to keep dirty dishes in personal space until there is time to wash them.
3. The Grotto. I learned from Sam that there are people who will take things out on me all throughout my life regardless of my involvement or lack thereof. I also learned from Sam that sharing a bathroom also merits cleaning agreements. I learned from Aaron that garlic can really boost the flavor of a lot of meals - and everybody appreciates a comment on beauty. I learned from Bekka that running a house demands GREAT communication or else the relationships are difficult to maintain. I learned from Elspeth that it's totally possible to take a small room and make it spacious. I learned from Katie that school and life are not always easy and it's okay to relax and take a nap. I learned from them all that the most memorable and happy times were while eating meals together.
4. The Cottage... Summer 1: Jonathan, Jake, Joannah and Lindsey. I learned that a little generosity goes a long way from Jonathan - and it's really appreciated to have someone thoughtful around that will clean dishes. I learned from Jake to go and DO things rather than just sit back and want to do things. I learned from Joannah (and many others in my life) that family is really important and should always take priority. I learned that it's hard to be gone a lot and develop meaningful friendships with housemates that are subletters for a short time.
5. The Cottage...Year 1: Emily, Shannon, Carisa, Joannah. I learned from Emily that meals always taste more incredible when made healthily, well-rounded, and with copious amounts of love. I learned from Shannon that passive-aggressive is not something desirable from anybody and it's better to talk things through than leave notes. I learned from Carisa that white rooms are much better with colored curtains and that sometimes it's better to consider change rather than being upset in circumstances. I learned from Joannah, more, that managing a house is a task that still takes a lot of communication. From everybody I learned education is something to value and cherish and that house meals are a wonderful tool in easing stress as well as saving money. I also learned that setting aside time for housemates is important.
6. The Cottage...Summer 2: Rachael, Rebecca, Kyrsten, Angie, Joannah. I learned from Rachael that it's hard to stay on top of things when your wedding is approaching! I also learned that it's a good idea to recruit housemates and friends to help out with wedding-related tasks. I learned from Rebecca that there is a fine line between polite and awkward when it comes to knocking on doors - but that some people are really used to knocking on doors and waiting until it is opened to them. I learned from Kyrsten that everyone is from a different background and we all have things to offer to one another. I learned that deco paging a box is a cute way to store things and that working hard in life can be tough but rewarding all at once. I learned from Angie that it is very important to take time to ask about days, have conversations, and laugh. I learned from Joannah, again, that family is very important.
7. The Cottage...Year 2: Dani, Shelby, Melissa and Joannah. It's still in process, but I'm learning a lot... from Dani, I'm learning that communication is vital in keeping friendships and sister-relationships alive while in a housemate situation. I am learning that there is a balance between sharing too much and sharing too little - and that the balance needs to be discovered rather than simply given. I am learning that people are not always as they seem in their daily lives and may change when in a "safe place." Shelby is showing me how teasing may cross the line in some instances. She's also taught me how much difference one small gesture (such as a kit-kat bar) can make in a day... and that it's really important to check in and talk together and encourage one another. I am learning from Melissa that everybody lives life differently - some get married young and live in basements of parent's houses and some get married a few years after college when they can support themselves. She's shown me that it's good to take interest in other people's lives but there is a point where space is also important. Joannah continues to teach me the value of respect and hard work. I am still learning from them but I really like these girls.
I am thankful for all of these living situations. When I look back I don't think any of them were unbearable and as I live now I've started to notice something: All this time I've been saying I'm not a patient person because I look at it from the context of when somebody wants to dump drama in my life over and over and over and over... but I've realized that I'm actually quite patient. I am the one Sam took liberty of yelling at because he knew it wouldn't ruin anything between us. I am the one frequently targeted by others who have admitted to use me as a scapegoat. I also am the most non-reactant to these confrontations. Not because I don't care but because I don't want to aggravate situations that I don't really understand to begin with. Perhaps I'm more patient than I realized. Or perhaps I'm actually a terrible housemate and people just put up with me... who knows... anyway... life is crazy.