Writing again. the reflection into the soul, mmm.
It’s interesting to me that there seems to be very key moments in my life that I am driving by some inexplicable force to look at the bigger picture. The irony of the “bigger picture” is that as I go through my daily quarrels I am, all the while, convincing myself that what I am striving for is that picture, when in reality I am so grounded; so utterly blinded to anything else in the world because of my oversized and highly positioned view of myself. It is in the very moments that I am caught up in currently that I am able to break free from this hollow shell and see the world through the eyes of my loving Savior and, if but for some brief moment, be consciously intertwined with His will and purpose for my life. I think that so often, for myself, I view Jesus as a pawn in my world instead of myself as a pawn in His. I make this Christian game that I tell myself daily that I am not playing more real then it could ever be. I think the reason for this is because I try too hard to focus on what I deem to be the important aspects of a living, breathing, walking relationship with Christ instead of letting him guide me through the process in His own lovingly thought out timing. Timing, is something which I have never really given much thought to previously which recently has taken center stage. I guess I always figured that timing wasn’t important I could just strive and fight for what I wanted and at the end of this black and white time table I would have what I wanted; little did I realize that so many factors played into any one situation that were out of my control. The bottom line is this: I need to stop focusing on doing (i.e. what I have to do to win God’s favor) and being. I cannot control try harder to fill out the supernatural check list, I simply need to be; be a broken human in need of help; be ready to be vulnerable; be ready to passionately fellowship with my Savior. All He requires is that I be with him.
“And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away.”
Luke 10:41-42
“And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away.”
Luke 10:41-42