UPDATE BIZNATCH!!!
i had an entry written and all ready to submit THEN
BAM!!!!!
it restarts. -_-;
anyways, no one writes in here anymore...so i will. becka wrote me a letter a few weeks ago. talking about how she feels distant with everyone now. that the "vagrant wenters" are falling apart. so for good friday, i tried to make her feel special. oliver bought her a gram :D he didnt know it tho ;P i bought her a chocolate bunny and made her a card. to make things even more special, i decided to deliver them to her class and make a scene. i also delivered her gram for michael. i cant believe she actually got him one... she doesnt know this but i wrote from a sercet admirer on it b/c she didnt write her name. yep. cheesy, i know. good thing she doesnt read this anymore or shed eat me.
im listening to this song and it reminds me so much of my friends. new found glory is a cute band. TERRIBLE live just just OMFG. *twitch*. but yea... cute simple lyrics that means *opens arms wide* this much. speaking of music... i hate how theres so much screaming in screamo (im not dumb, hear me out). u cant understand a WORD theyre saying and when they have little parts of them singing with melody... it sounds so much BETTER. i love screamo b/c they tend to have great lyrics. too bad i cant hear them being sung. thrice is as good as it gets. onward to a more serious thought.
everything seems to be moving so fast...before i know it, im going to be taking the SAT again soon. proms coming soon. graduation for 2004. half of my friends that changed my life are going to be gone. im scared x_x. 2 more months and im not longer going to be a simple junior. then summer school. taking my senior photo. a new year with new friends. being a SENIOR. being on a new side for blue,black and white day. signing the senior contract. taking SAT 2. being 17. knowing that in only a few months, ill be writing about this again. ill be talking about how spring break is here and looking for the perfect prom dress. signing yearbooks. talking about hoping to see my friends in *insert awesome university name*. aaron was so right... when u are a junior and looking back on high school, it did past really quickly. and then things get scary b/c u realize ur going to be a senior and how fast THAT year is going to pass by. as a freshmen, days seemed to last for months. seemed like every hour was filled with a whole essay worth of memories. i miss thoses times. i really need to learn to let go. i have so much that i need to prepare to let go for. losing friends sucks balls and i cant ... dont want to imagine going through that again. to be realistic, i know its coming. and its gona hurt. i can already see my graduation. walk into the field, watching the key club members sell flowers. tell myself "i use to do that... thats how badly i wanted to see aaron graduate". sit there in my disgusting baby blue gown... twiddling my thumbs. looking over for my friends and waving. trembling throughout the ceremony. knees shaking as i get my diploma. knowing up in the stands my parents, jo, close friends are taking pictures of me. flashs of how i earned whats in my hand. memories of walking the same pathway but for the mile run in pe. watching football games here since 8th grade. then the final moment, just knowing its coming would bring me to tears... last words heard "class of 2005" id jump off my seat and rush towards my friends. hold them like id never be able to again.
-female hobo<3