Touching base
The highlight of my three-day weekend is that I got the flat cleaned. Seriously. It’s been quite neglected for a while, and was really turning into a bit of a sorry state. It doesn’t do us much good either, to come home to an unwelcoming mess, when what we really needed was a comforting cocoon.
So I made good use of my extra day and hired help (hey, I was on vacation) to get our flat cleaned up. It now has its usual good vibe going on again-I suppose it’s happy these days too.
Later on, I caught up with friends. Cy and I watched “The Interpreter,” and then we met up with Binky and Jenina for a nightcap. In my mind, it’s quite a momentous event, because I really don’t go out anymore. I imagine that this was my chance to catch up with them, and to some extent I did.
While I was happy to see my friends, I found myself unusually quiet. The trouble was, I had no idea what to say. When it was my turn to talk about how I was, all I could say was that I was doing good.
Has my life turned out to be bland and dry?
I quickly went through my head. I’ve been busy, I’ve gone through some emotional times, but overall my life has been on a simple state of being-which is precisely how I like it. But how does one talk about a quiet life? One that is almost uneventful yet still satisfying?
I opted to be a listener that night, realizing how different my life truly is presently, not just compared to my old days, but also compared to my friends’. I realize that we’ve gotten older again. I don’t know why it took so long to come to terms with that, even as some of us are getting married, having kids, moving abroad, or setting up homes. I had overlooked the signs.
We are growing up.
That’s why things are different. We have those “grown up” concerns to deal with now. They’re much more real now than they ever were. And somehow, life has handed them to us in different guises with their specific problem spots.
And now I know we’re all actually on the same plane of life. We’re just coming from different directions this time.
I’ve come to understand a lot about myself in the recent quiet of my days, that I don’t mind settling into solitary calm day in and out. The party girl of the past was really just a manifestation of an escapist side-I didn’t want to be home, and I was looking for a way to have fun and be blindedly happy. It was unlike how it is now; home is the place I've been wanting for so long, and I am certain my happiness (though unflamboyant) is real. I will just need to resist the hermit tendencies, and I think I’ll grow up quite fine.
So I made good use of my extra day and hired help (hey, I was on vacation) to get our flat cleaned up. It now has its usual good vibe going on again-I suppose it’s happy these days too.
Later on, I caught up with friends. Cy and I watched “The Interpreter,” and then we met up with Binky and Jenina for a nightcap. In my mind, it’s quite a momentous event, because I really don’t go out anymore. I imagine that this was my chance to catch up with them, and to some extent I did.
While I was happy to see my friends, I found myself unusually quiet. The trouble was, I had no idea what to say. When it was my turn to talk about how I was, all I could say was that I was doing good.
Has my life turned out to be bland and dry?
I quickly went through my head. I’ve been busy, I’ve gone through some emotional times, but overall my life has been on a simple state of being-which is precisely how I like it. But how does one talk about a quiet life? One that is almost uneventful yet still satisfying?
I opted to be a listener that night, realizing how different my life truly is presently, not just compared to my old days, but also compared to my friends’. I realize that we’ve gotten older again. I don’t know why it took so long to come to terms with that, even as some of us are getting married, having kids, moving abroad, or setting up homes. I had overlooked the signs.
We are growing up.
That’s why things are different. We have those “grown up” concerns to deal with now. They’re much more real now than they ever were. And somehow, life has handed them to us in different guises with their specific problem spots.
And now I know we’re all actually on the same plane of life. We’re just coming from different directions this time.
I’ve come to understand a lot about myself in the recent quiet of my days, that I don’t mind settling into solitary calm day in and out. The party girl of the past was really just a manifestation of an escapist side-I didn’t want to be home, and I was looking for a way to have fun and be blindedly happy. It was unlike how it is now; home is the place I've been wanting for so long, and I am certain my happiness (though unflamboyant) is real. I will just need to resist the hermit tendencies, and I think I’ll grow up quite fine.