Cuidam Alicui et Suis Amicis

[diaphanus]

"Cuidam Alicui et Suis Amicis"
"To a Certain Someone and Her Friends"

First, let me allow Bugs to say this to you:

Click to view

Well, actually, I do not like war, but it looks like someone decided to turn on me.

Who is it? Sonia Leong:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonia_Leong

http://www.fyredrake.net/

Take a look at Sonia's latest post in her LJ:

Two

Comments

[anonymous]

Dear God in heaven... you are a CREEP. You tar yourself with that brush by being a creep. You make a post about whether or not she wears a thong, you tag posts with her name and BODY PARTS just in case there was any doubt... you act like her feelings and those of her husband are just one opinion no more important than your own when we're talking about HER BODY, HER IMAGE, and HER FEELINGS. Your opinion is just an opinion. His and hers aren't.

If in your opinion you're no objectifying her but treating her as a real person, then maybe we've hit on the real problem: to you, this is just the way men relate to women. What you're doing to Sonia is just what women are for, to you. At least the good looking ones.

And you know what? I haven't read any of her posts. I'm not her friend or her fan. I read this post of yours and it's the creepiest thing I've seen in months.

[blueskycomic]

Not to interject myself into this lovely Internet dramaz, but I'd like to focus on one thing for the moment and point out that she was actually the one to post publicly on the Internet the fact she wears a thong along with pictures

[alexandraerin]

Everybody gets that she posted them. But only this creep and his creepy friends think that a woman choosing to post pictures like that mean that a man who chooses to be a disresectful perv is -not- being a disrespectful perv.

You or he could make a case that he's within his rights in being a creep. Doesn't change the fact that he is.

[blueskycomic]

I've been trying to find a way to write this but I'm having trouble even knowing where to start. This whole thing has spread across six threads (that I know of) and four accounts, and I came into it a bit late. It's a lot to process. :) I'm going to try to recap the timeline I've loosely put together as I attempted to follow this after the fact, and how it has come across to someone who wasn't caught up in the high emotions of the ongoing drama. I may have missed something or got some details wrong, so feel free to correct me. Also this will have to be in two posts because it’s too long. Oh, and there will be language. How there will be language

[alexandraerin]

Sorry for the necromancy, but I've been on vacation for a week...

The thing that you're missing is that "perv" is not just regurgitation of a meme. It's an honest reaction to his conduct. On this post alone. I could show this post--with none of Sonia's posts framing it--to any number of people and get the same reaction. That, in fact, is how I came to the discussion. I was linked directly here by somebody who thought I'd find it interesting, and my reaction is that this guy is a grade A perv and a creep.

Claiming that it's anybody's fault but his because the parties injured by his perviness (Sonia and her husband) didn't ask him to stop doing it in the right way is... farcical.

He shouldn't have done it in the first place, but given that he did, his conduct at every stage since then has been reprehensible.

True, the response from Sonia and her husband and the internet has been out of proportion, but a response proportionate to the offense would violate several laws and his right to due process.

[blueskycomic]

(Part Two

[wyrdrune]

This! +1 Karma! I concur! And other internet comments of agreement.

I know I didn't exactly come across well in it - my first derisary (sp?) post was made just after I'd got home from work and was feeling rather crappy for personal reasons.

The whole thing does, however, appear to have been blown out of all proportion. It's not LJ drama exclusively though - this sort of over-reaction, rallying of the troops, attacking the person rather than their actions, spreading gossip, commenting on comments instead of getting the facts and generally being uncivilized was also to be found on Usenet too.

It seems that whenever two or three are gathered together, they shall bitch and moan - the internet has just given them more chance to do it, quicker, more publicly and with much nastier results.

I stand by my earlier comment - "there's nowt as queer as folk".

[blueskycomic]

No worries. You and kt_coope have been prime examples of how to keep this civilized while still offering opposing views.

My comments weren't just about this thread but all of them I've seen. There are many who seem to simply be regurgitating the "perv" comment without actually doing the footwork and seeing how this all went down. Because of the campaign in motion only one side was being presented and many of the people doing so neglected to mention certain facts or took certain things out of context.

As dumb as all of this has been I think I've had my fill of entertainment for the night. I'll no doubt wake up to much more of this drama later. :)

[blueskycomic]

I have just realized I accidentally skipped certain words, like "it" and "a" (happens when I type too much and too fast).

I have no doubt someone will point out that these errors invalidates my entire argument (yet will also PROVE my "this is stupid" argument at the same time! Hah! Catch 22, sucka!).

I really wish editing comments was allowed for cases like this. Hulu has the same damn problem.

[blueskycomic]

BTW, I apologize for not replying directly to what you said but I think you will find the (unfortunately) long post I already made to pretty much sum up what I would have said anyway. Although if you don't find it satisfactory I can still try to answer you directly.

I do have more to say but I'll wait to see where this goes first, if anywhere. :)

[blueskycomic]

Er, I should clarify before I get myself in trouble:

"I point this out not to defend or condemn the text made in that LiveJournal post (because honestly, I care so little about all of this beyond making fun of dumb comments. Re: Melissa's LJ's comments)."

I meant the replies in the comments section, not Melissa's comments.

Big diff right there. :)