Cuidam Alicui et Suis Amicis

[diaphanus]

"Cuidam Alicui et Suis Amicis"
"To a Certain Someone and Her Friends"

First, let me allow Bugs to say this to you:

Click to view

Well, actually, I do not like war, but it looks like someone decided to turn on me.

Who is it? Sonia Leong:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonia_Leong

http://www.fyredrake.net/

Take a look at Sonia's latest post in her LJ:

Two

Comments

[sethimothy]

I'm just barely reading up on this exceptional drama, but I must admit I only really can see it from your end. So, um... who the hell is this Sonia chick? As far as I can tell, she's some UKian who doesn't like you because you comment on Latin and her, in that order?

[azalaisdeveyrac]

Hee! That looks to be about the size of it!

[diaphanus]

HA HA! Great one!

[wyrdrune]

Let's just get one thing straight... the fact that she's from .uk has no bearing on this. The whole thing would be just as weird if she was from Canada, Egypt or Outer Mongolia

[dock]

Your reply to Matt was completely unjustified. Even if it wasn't her husband it wouldn't justify replying in such a manner.

Do you think your comments about thongs were respectful or in good taste?

[wyrdrune]

Looks to me as if Matt made a comment, stating his opinion. Ian then replied stating his opinion. Don't see any "unjustified" there - could I trouble you to expand on what you feel was "unjustified" about Ian's reply?

(And this is an honest question, since it may be a linguistic, cultural or social nuance that I'm missing.)

Thanks.

[kt_coope]

Cause the correct reply to "You shouldn't have so much stuff about my wife on your blog" shouldn't be a post implying the husband is wrong to feel like that, but something more like "Sorry, I didn't realise it was making people uncomfortable. I'll try not to do it any more."

Also, going 'THIS IS WAR' is a little daft. Apologise, stop posting stuff that makes her uncomfortable (justified or not, if that's how it makes her feel, that's how it makes her feel) and let this blow over. Making this bigger is just going to hurt both sides even more, especially if it's really a misunderstanding.

[wyrdrune]

I agree with your second point about letting it blow over - however it should also be noted that (unless I've misunderstood the sequence of events) the lady in question could be considered as starting "the war" with her comment "I invite others to educate this man further" - which could be seen as inflammatory, incitement to harass and indicative of a lack of willingness to let it blow over on her side too.

As to your first paragraph, I'm not sure that Ian's post implied that the husband was wrong; however I strongly suspect this one *is* more of a linguistic issue. In the UK (based on my experience) expressing sympathy in that slightly formal way is often seen as sarcastic and bordering on rude. I suspect that Ian meant it more along the lines of "I'm sorry it's making you feel that way."

Now I agree that "I'll stop doing it." would have been a good sentence to follow that with and would have been a good way to draw a line under it. Assuming, of course, that the lady's fan club would also be willing to let it go.

[anonymous]

"We play the ball not the man"
Yet you attack with ad hominem whenever possible?

"posting up personal things from others' blogs is not and never will be acceptable."
So you have never posted anything from another persons blog that was made public?

"We in the UK are a private folk, if not by physically locking our stuff away, then it's an unwritten taboo that you don't post links to peoples more personal stuff."
The status of 'private folk' does not exist when posting on the internet. If it was meant to be "private" and "personal" then maybe it shouldn't have been made in a "public" post?

"The onus was on you to comply and you blatantly disregarded that."
And there was no onus for the person with an issue about how her publically available materials were being used, by someone who she knew, to ask them to stop doing it?

[sethimothy]

Well you see, people in the UK are a private lot; when they have an issue with someone, its an unwritten taboo to deal with it yourself and as such it makes more sense to call for a witchhunt. This ties in indirectly to The Burning Times, a time in which many livejournal users were burned at the stake for the unwanted attention said "witches" gave to prominent artists in regards to information and pictures that were in the public domain.

[kyaathecatlord]

Weesa gonna burn?

[kyleen66]

I don't think you're a stalker Ian. In fact, I looked and am disappointed there is no "kyleen" tag!

^-^

Let it go as water under the bridge. Really, it's a fight that's not worth your time.

[diaphanus]

Yes, exactly.

A "kyleen" tag is coming!

[kyleen66]

You are so good to me!

[diaphanus]

You're good to me, too!

And I don't mean anything stalkerish about that.

[faerierhona]

You made an entire post about whether or not she wears a thong and say "I approve, of course! YES! More, Sonia, more!"

err.. how is that NOT objectifying and fantasising?

See also:
"Perhaps Sonia can dress up as a naughty gothloli nurse!"

[diaphanus]

But she is still a real person to me, and nothing I said, as far as I see, denies her humanity, as the words "objectifying" and "fantasising" imply.