Fic: Jim Kirk's Adventures in Xenobiology

[diane_kepler]

Title: Jim Kirk's Adventures in Xenobiology (1/2)
Author: diane_kepler 
Length: you'd be surprised
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: ST: XI
Characters: Kirk/Spock - the OTP, yo
Summary: Jim is going there. Although, after he's become acquainted, maybe not so boldly?
Warnings: Extensive alien peen. Nervous captains. Crack.
Disclaimer: Don't own. I mean, who could, really? Oh, wait

Comments

[proudcockatrice]

Dear Jim, you appear to have left your social skills in your other pants. Try again, try harder. Just sayin'.

*sporfle* This is awesome. Can't wait for part 2.

[diane_kepler]

Happy to make you sporfle again.

Which reminds me. There is a crack-tastic idea that just will not leave my head. Sarek meets . . . Starek.

[proudcockatrice]

AHAHAHA! Count me in! I wholeheartedly approve! Is this a 'meet the parents' sort of thing? I foresee horrified!Spock and giggling!Amanda...

[diane_kepler]

It could be. Amanda cooing over the boys would be fun and she would certainly keep her mate from going all pre-Surak on the situation.

The other scenario I had envisioned is that Sarek and Starek meet *unexpectedly* and Sarek doesn't know who Starek really is. His face was obscured in the stills, after all. For all Sarek knows, he's just meeting another Vulcan, *until* Starek says or does something that causes Sarek to figure it out and then it's bushy eyebrow time for sure. Funnier if the two are forced to interact in some kind of diplomatic or otherwise delicate setting, especially with other Vulcans (but not Spock or Amanda) present.

[obscure_blues]

LOL Ooh love the big li-wun.. HAHA ;)

[diane_kepler]

Then you'll really get a kick out of this

[_profiterole_]

Poor, uncomprehending Spock! *pets*

[diane_kepler]

And poor, nervous Jim. Nice to see you here. Thanks for your comment.

[illariy]

Li-wun. *giggle* What a way to find out that Vulcan penis euphemisms are not that far-fetched, really. This was a delicious mixture of hot and funny. I am anticipating the second part. :D

[diane_kepler]

I'm glad you found it both hot and funny -- something I was going for. But I warn you -- the second part is, um, longer. :)

[tripperfunster]

LIKE AN UMBRELLA OPENING!

Ho shit! I laughed my ass off!

*runs to read part II)

Wait! WHERE THE FUCK IS PART TWO??? *taps foot impatiently*

[diane_kepler]

A few days off, still. But fear not. It's, uh, coming.

By the way, I saw your small sketch in janice_lester' 5+1 about Jim imagining Spock's penis and I just about laughed a _my_ ass off. The purple tentacles! The sexy, Cosmo-pose on the lefthand side. Jim looking helplessly at his applepear computer saying something like "FF.net, why can't I quit you?"

You need to do an *ahem* larger cartoon of this, with more variations of the Spock cock.

[tripperfunster]

Well, I've done two 'serious' double ridge pics, but no serious tentacles yet. And retractable? I'm honestly not sure how to draw that one.

And you DO NOT WANT TO KNOW what your 'umbrella opening' did to my poor artist mind!

*boggles*

[diane_kepler]

Oh, I didn't mean serious tentacles, I meant cartoonish tentacles, much like you did for the original sketch only with more variations. Because Jim imbibing nekkid!Spock fanfic is just such a great idea.

I imagine retractable as similar to the Ken-doll Spock you drew in the middle, only with a vertical genital slit. That's retracted. Extended is . . . any shape you like, I guess.

Not saying you have to do this, for me, you understand, just that the, uh, fandom needs it. *shifty eyes*

Also, DO WANT to know what the sound effect did!