(no subject)
Pairing: David/Greg
Rating: PG
Notes: Kind of angsty, kind of sappy.
Disclaimer: Not mine. By any stretch of the imagination.
Summery: David left LA because he couldn't find what he needed there.
David can remember being in college. He can remember dodgey clubs, and dodgey guys, and waking up alone. He can remember hangovers, and bruises in weird places, and more STI tests then he really wants to think about.
He can remember when he got married, for the same reasons. He can remember standing in the church beside her, thinking he’d found what he needed in Sarah, another scared and lonely kid who thought she’d found in him what he so wanted to have found in her.
He remembers realising they’d made a mistake. Remembers how hard she tried to make everything perfect, convincing herself that it was her fault that he pulled away. He remembers trying so hard to love her, to give her what she needed and convince himself she was what he wanted.
He can remember the night he didn’t come home. When he just drove around LA for hours, ignoring his phone, and when he finally came home at dawn she was gone, and there was a note that said she was sorry that she wasn’t enough. He remembers trying to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault, and he remembers that she didn’t believe him.
He remembers deciding he wasn’t going to find it, and deciding to stop looking. He can remember arriving in Las Vegas and sealing himself off, refusing to socialise with anyone. Be can remember thinking that if he can’t be happy, he can at least survive.
But he can remember how these people weren’t so willing to let him ignore life. How they hung around his lab and needled him until he agreed to start going out with them. And he remembered telling himself that he could pretend to socialise and then go back to his apartment and be alone again.
And he can remember how one of them refused to even let him do that. How he’d follow him as he left the lab to make sure he actually went out, and how when David tried to leave early he’d follow him out and ask for a lift.
And he can remember that night, when his divorce was finalised and he got a letter from Sarah apologising and still blaming herself, and he finally let go with his coworkers and drank until he nearlly collapesed, and this time he had to be driven home. He can remember being carried to his room, and gently laid down, and refusing to let go of the younger man who tried to tuck him in.
David remembers waking up in bed, still fully dressed, expecting to be alone again. But this time, he found himself with another body tightly wound around him, and Greg’s head resting on his shoulder, gel sticking his hair to David’s face.
David remembers not being afraid this time. Not feeling alone. And thinks that he may have stopped looking for it, but maybe it never stopped looking for him.
Rating: PG
Notes: Kind of angsty, kind of sappy.
Disclaimer: Not mine. By any stretch of the imagination.
Summery: David left LA because he couldn't find what he needed there.
David can remember being in college. He can remember dodgey clubs, and dodgey guys, and waking up alone. He can remember hangovers, and bruises in weird places, and more STI tests then he really wants to think about.
He can remember when he got married, for the same reasons. He can remember standing in the church beside her, thinking he’d found what he needed in Sarah, another scared and lonely kid who thought she’d found in him what he so wanted to have found in her.
He remembers realising they’d made a mistake. Remembers how hard she tried to make everything perfect, convincing herself that it was her fault that he pulled away. He remembers trying so hard to love her, to give her what she needed and convince himself she was what he wanted.
He can remember the night he didn’t come home. When he just drove around LA for hours, ignoring his phone, and when he finally came home at dawn she was gone, and there was a note that said she was sorry that she wasn’t enough. He remembers trying to reassure her that it wasn’t her fault, and he remembers that she didn’t believe him.
He remembers deciding he wasn’t going to find it, and deciding to stop looking. He can remember arriving in Las Vegas and sealing himself off, refusing to socialise with anyone. Be can remember thinking that if he can’t be happy, he can at least survive.
But he can remember how these people weren’t so willing to let him ignore life. How they hung around his lab and needled him until he agreed to start going out with them. And he remembered telling himself that he could pretend to socialise and then go back to his apartment and be alone again.
And he can remember how one of them refused to even let him do that. How he’d follow him as he left the lab to make sure he actually went out, and how when David tried to leave early he’d follow him out and ask for a lift.
And he can remember that night, when his divorce was finalised and he got a letter from Sarah apologising and still blaming herself, and he finally let go with his coworkers and drank until he nearlly collapesed, and this time he had to be driven home. He can remember being carried to his room, and gently laid down, and refusing to let go of the younger man who tried to tuck him in.
David remembers waking up in bed, still fully dressed, expecting to be alone again. But this time, he found himself with another body tightly wound around him, and Greg’s head resting on his shoulder, gel sticking his hair to David’s face.
David remembers not being afraid this time. Not feeling alone. And thinks that he may have stopped looking for it, but maybe it never stopped looking for him.