(Untitled)

[thispromisekept]

[ it's taken alma.. a long time to recover. and not only recover, but to find some kind of peace with himself, with who and what he is. he still-- isn't really sure he knows, even after months, but he's-- he's doing better, anyway. he knows he is. he's not so terribly confused by it all, now, and he thinks he might remember what it was like

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[promisedlotus]

Alma...? [That's... definitely him. It can't be anyone else. The same Alma he grew up with, the same one he ended up killing... older. Why older?

He was definitely missing something.]

[thispromisekept]

[ he pauses at the sounds of the familiar voice, gaze lowering to meet kanda's, expression flickering into a faint smile. ]

Yuu. [ despite his rather confusing thoughts, seeing the other exorcist leaves him feeling-- warm. terrified. safe. it's.. strange. ] I-- I've missed you.

[promisedlotus]

[Yeah, that's definitely Alma and he's definitely not dreaming.]

How...

[thispromisekept]

[ a blink, slightly bewildered, before he remembers that not all versions of kanda here are from the same time. ]

Oh. [ he slowly stretches his legs out, clawed toes peeking out from beneath the silk pants, curling against the grass. ] .. I came here after I died. The-- the second time, I mean. I wasn't.. exactly dead the first time you killed me.

[promisedlotus]

Why the hell would they keep something like that from me? We-

[Just a little difficult to form completely coherent thoughts. He went through it before, with his now-girlfriend, and now again, with this Alma.]

They can't stop fucking up, can they? [The Order. It really isn't helping his opinion of the church, either.]

[thispromisekept]

[ a shake of his head, tilting it back to squint up into the sun again. ]

It doesn't really matter anymore, does it? It's over, now. Back home, I'm dead, and here-- [ a slightly wistful smile, eyes slipping fully shut. ] --they leave me alone.

[ he glances back at kanda again, the wistful expression remaining. ]

How-- How've you been? You're not a Yuu I've met here.

[promisedlotus]

[If there wouldn't be severe consequences for it, he wouldn't mind killing Leverrier.]

As well as one can be, here.

[thispromisekept]

[ sticks his tongue out at him. ]

You certainly didn't get any chattier with age. C'mere, ya' big jerk.

[ scooting to the side on the bench. ]

How about more than a short sentence?

[promisedlotus]

You know that won't happen.

[Walking over to take a seat.]

[thispromisekept]

And you know I'll drag it out of you eventually.

[ careful to keep a bro-distance between them. he knows how weird it can be, what alma is-- especially for versions of kanda who weren't at that point in the timeline, anyway. ]

[promisedlotus]

[It's a difficult subject, but...] What...did they do to you, after?

[thispromisekept]

[ he freezes, eyes widening faintly, breath hitching-- but then he clenches his fists, forcing himself not to clam up about it. kanda's asking. yuu is asking. ]

They kept me locked up-- not dead, but.. not fully aware, either. I could see and hear and feel most of the time, but I couldn't-- move. I couldn't even speak. [ he wants to run away from the memory, but what's the point? it's over. it's done. and that-- won't happen to him again. ] They-- They wanted to find out what went wrong with me. And.. they used me to create the Third Exorcists.

[ he laughed at that, choking and a bit hysterical, perhaps. ]

I wonder if that makes me a mother. D'you think so, Yuu?

[promisedlotus]

[Yeah, he's gonna kill everyone involved with that. Hell, even with his arms folded over his chest, he's gripping an arm so hard his knuckles are turning white.]

They don't learn at all. Nothing went wrong, we just remembered.

[thispromisekept]

I guess we weren't supposed to. [ a little breathlessly, voice small: ] After all, they put me in a boy's body, didn't they? And I-- I definitely-- wasn't supposed to k-kill all of those people.

[ he ducks his head, wiping hastily at his eyes. ]

I'm-- glad, now, though. I'm glad that you got to leave that place. I'm glad that you have friends that really seem to care about you.

[promisedlotus]

Still a crybaby, though. [A soft snort.]

None of this helps my opinion on the organization I already hated. At least you get a second chance here, Alma.

[thispromisekept]

[ a soft, hitching laugh, and he nods, wiping his eyes again. ] .. Yeah, I guess I am.

[ he goes quiet, then, staring down at his feet, toes curling again. ] Away from the Church. But-- I'd even go back to the Church if I had to. If it meant.. I could see you.