Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I think you're right about the profound change thing, too.
I feel like I have tried very hard to make this work. I just couldn't take any more, and, after writing it all out and reading it about 17 times, I realized that we really need to talk.
This morning I told SO that SO is very selfish sometimes. SO cannot see that. I said that there are so many things that I ask for that I never get. Small things, like try a tase of this, or take a shower with me, or let's walk to the mailbox together. I really don't ask for much, but when I do, I get denied anyway. SO said that when I ask for something, SO thinks I'm going to try and induce a guilt trip if I don't get it, therefore, SO refuses to do it anyway. Makes no sense to me.
Sure, if I ask for something and get denied, I then say please. SO calls that begging and apparently it's the most annoying thing in the world. Well, did you ever stop to think that maybe if I'm BEGGING you for something, then that means I really want it?
I explained that a relationship is give and take. I do things that don't necessarily make me say YAY OMG I can't believe I get to do this, just to make SO happy. When I can make SO happy, that makes me happy, therefore making the menial task much more enjoyable. SO said that I shouldn't do things that I don't want to do just to induce a smile. SO is not going to do anything SO doesn't want to do just because it will make me happy. I think that's selfish. I think that the way things work around here don't make a relationship, but instead a one-sided, win/LOSE situation, in which I am the loser.
We had this long, drawn out fight which inevitable lead back to my smoking. All these things, including the fact that SO doesn't care really to make me happy, are a result of me smoking. Bullshit cop out if you ask me.
Anyway, I'm going to attempt quitting smoking. If things don't make a complete turnaround immediately, you all will be reading the "I LEFT!" Collective entry. I'm sure that will be a good one.
WOW. How selfish could someone be. I hope that you are able to stand your ground and post that "I LEFT" post to us.
You seem to be a great person. Most guys aren't sensitive as such. She doesn't know what she is missing out on. The saying "You never know what you've got till it's gone" comes to mind......
I feel like I have tried very hard to make this work. I just couldn't take any more, and, after writing it all out and reading it about 17 times, I realized that we really need to talk.
This morning I told SO that SO is very selfish sometimes. SO cannot see that. I said that there are so many things that I ask for that I never get. Small things, like try a tase of this, or take a shower with me, or let's walk to the mailbox together. I really don't ask for much, but when I do, I get denied anyway. SO said that when I ask for something, SO thinks I'm going to try and induce a guilt trip if I don't get it, therefore, SO refuses to do it anyway. Makes no sense to me.
Sure, if I ask for something and get denied, I then say please. SO calls that begging and apparently it's the most annoying thing in the world. Well, did you ever stop to think that maybe if I'm BEGGING you for something, then that means I really want it?
I explained that a relationship is give and take. I do things that don't necessarily make me say YAY OMG I can't believe I get to do this, just to make SO happy. When I can make SO happy, that makes me happy, therefore making the menial task much more enjoyable. SO said that I shouldn't do things that I don't want to do just to induce a smile. SO is not going to do anything SO doesn't want to do just because it will make me happy. I think that's selfish. I think that the way things work around here don't make a relationship, but instead a one-sided, win/LOSE situation, in which I am the loser.
We had this long, drawn out fight which inevitable lead back to my smoking. All these things, including the fact that SO doesn't care really to make me happy, are a result of me smoking. Bullshit cop out if you ask me.
Anyway, I'm going to attempt quitting smoking. If things don't make a complete turnaround immediately, you all will be reading the "I LEFT!" Collective entry. I'm sure that will be a good one.
Sincerely,
Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place
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You seem to be a great person. Most guys aren't sensitive as such. She doesn't know what she is missing out on. The saying "You never know what you've got till it's gone" comes to mind......
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