Mae and Armand: Brothers are for angsting
So yesterday, Armand had the bright idea to offer Feanor his own eyes. Naturally, this was refused, and Armand and Fea have had their first quarrel. Thing. Afterwards, Maedhros was around to be big-brotherly.
[ArmandStJust] *in room upstairs* *closes the door* Do you think they can hear us from here?
[Maitimo] I doubt it. *concerned* What did you need?
[ArmandStJust] Advice.
[Maitimo] *sits down and motions for him to do the same* What about?
[ArmandStJust] *sits on the bed* How to open my mouth anymore without upsetting or otherwise annoying Ada.
[Maitimo] *sighs* It isn't you, Armand. He's justifiably angry right now -with everything.
[ArmandStJust] I just wanted to help. I feel terrible about what's happened to him.
[Maitimo] I know. So do we all. And he knows you want to help. Nor is he really very angry with you, I can tell.
[ArmandStJust] He would never have met Hades if it weren't for me.
[Maitimo] ...Armand, don't blame yourself for that. Were you the one who thought it would be a good idea for him to submit to Hades' knife?
[ArmandStJust] No, I wasn't there. *small voice*
[Maitimo] *reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder* Then *don't* blame yourself. That was Ada's own fault, entirely. You had nothing to do with it.
[ArmandStJust] I just wanted to help. I'm so useless.
[Maitimo] *hugs him* You are not. *releases him to look right at him* He cannot and will not accept your eyes, no matter how guilty you feel. That does not reflect on your worth.
[ArmandStJust] I offered them because I feel useless. *sighs*
[Maitimo] Armand...*sighs* Did you really think he'd take them?
[ArmandStJust] I don't know. I hoped so. Would he take them if I were dead?
[Maitimo] He wouldn't take anyone's. I doubt he'll even agree to let a god -except possibly Eru- fix them for him. And he certainly wouldn't take yours, not because he thinks you're useless, which he doesn't, or because he's too stubborn to ask for help, which he is, but because he loves you and would never dream of doing that to you. No! No. Don't even think it
[ArmandStJust] I don't know what's wrong with me.
[Maitimo] *sighs* If you want my amateur opinion, it's low self-esteem.
[ArmandStJust] I keep trying to find things to esteem about myself and failing. Utterly.
[Maitimo] Then you're not looking very hard. What are you failing to find?
[ArmandStJust] I can't figure out why any of you love me?
[Maitimo] Armand, would you believe, you're a kind, charismatic, strong and -lovable- person? We love you for all the things you are.
[ArmandStJust] But why don't I feel any of those things?
[Maitimo] ...Some people are very good at overlooking their own virtues.
[ArmandStJust] I told Ada--oh I don't know how long ago--that I'm scared I'll wake up one day and all of you will see me how I see myself and be angry I decieved you.
[Maitimo] ... *hugs him* And I hope that instead you'll wake up one day and see yourself as we do.
[ArmandStJust] Then I'd scare myself.
[Maitimo] *frowns* Armand, don't be so hard on yourself.
[ArmandStJust] Everytime I'm in danger of gaining confidence something happens. So confidence is a bad thing.
[Maitimo] So is self-hatred. The damage you can do to yourself is worse than anything anyone else can do to you.
[ArmandStJust] *studies Mai* How do I get out of this mess?
[Maitimo] *sighs* ...I don't know.
[ArmandStJust] *hugs Mai* I really did feel a lot different just a few days ago. I don't understand it at all. Rosier's dead. I should feel safe.
[Maitimo] *holds him protectively* No, it means you -are- safe. Really feeling it... that's harder.
[ArmandStJust] *clings unashamedly* It does? So I'm not a failure just because I don't feel it?
[Maitimo] *lets him cling, and he'd better not be ashamed* Of course not.
[ArmandStJust] I feel like it's very hard to live up to this family.
[Maitimo] Oh Armand, you don't want to do that. We tend to come to very bad ends.
[ArmandStJust] How else do I fit in then? *smiles shyly at him*
[Maitimo] *smiles back, but goes on almost desperately* You fit in because we love you. Don't try to... live up to us, whatever that means. We're all mad. You'll end up relieved to be at the bottom of a fire pit.
[ArmandStJust] *touches Mai's cheek* But you're all so beautiful and brave.
[Maitimo] *shakes his head, smiling sadly* We're mad. Maybe we're beautiful, and I've known a few who were more than brave, but when you come down to it... we're mad. And I wouldn't wish our lives on anyone.
[ArmandStJust] Mad? Maybe I am too then.
[Maitimo] Well. *wryly amused* You love us. You must be.
[ArmandStJust] You're loveable. *smiles*
[Maitimo] *smiles* Charismatic, I won't deny.
[ArmandStJust] I love you. I love you all. It's so wonderful having a family. *hugs again*
[Maitimo] *hugs back* We all love you. It's wonderful to be your family.
[ArmandStJust] Even when I'm a brat?
[Maitimo] Even when you're a brat. *amused* I had six brothers to look after, and trust me, some of them were terrible brats. Until you start going around deposing kings, I promise not to yell at you.
[ArmandStJust] Can't I depose one or two so long as it isn't Ada? I don't want to lose my Republican membership card. *laughs a little*
[Maitimo] *laughs* If you really want to, I can't stop you. Just try not to make it your cousin. *pauses, arrested* You know, I should hunt him down. I think you'd like him.
[ArmandStJust] Which cousin?
[Maitimo] Findarato. *thinks for a minute, then shakes his head* Sorry, my thoughts ran away with me. *smiles* Just don't get him killed. I've had enough of yelling at brothers for that.
[ArmandStJust] I'll try not to. *smiles*
[Maitimo] *grins* Good. See, you're not such a brat.
[ArmandStJust] *hugs him again* I am finally more tired than upset. Thank you. *fond smile*
[ArmandStJust] It's good to have a big brother.
[ArmandStJust] I love you.
[Maitimo] *hugs back* There's more where I came from. But you'll find that we can horribly bossy. For instance, I can insist that you need to get to bed now.
At which point Sam's connection died, so we can only assume Armand went straight to bed like a good little brother. :)
[ArmandStJust] *in room upstairs* *closes the door* Do you think they can hear us from here?
[Maitimo] I doubt it. *concerned* What did you need?
[ArmandStJust] Advice.
[Maitimo] *sits down and motions for him to do the same* What about?
[ArmandStJust] *sits on the bed* How to open my mouth anymore without upsetting or otherwise annoying Ada.
[Maitimo] *sighs* It isn't you, Armand. He's justifiably angry right now -with everything.
[ArmandStJust] I just wanted to help. I feel terrible about what's happened to him.
[Maitimo] I know. So do we all. And he knows you want to help. Nor is he really very angry with you, I can tell.
[ArmandStJust] He would never have met Hades if it weren't for me.
[Maitimo] ...Armand, don't blame yourself for that. Were you the one who thought it would be a good idea for him to submit to Hades' knife?
[ArmandStJust] No, I wasn't there. *small voice*
[Maitimo] *reaches out to lay a hand on his shoulder* Then *don't* blame yourself. That was Ada's own fault, entirely. You had nothing to do with it.
[ArmandStJust] I just wanted to help. I'm so useless.
[Maitimo] *hugs him* You are not. *releases him to look right at him* He cannot and will not accept your eyes, no matter how guilty you feel. That does not reflect on your worth.
[ArmandStJust] I offered them because I feel useless. *sighs*
[Maitimo] Armand...*sighs* Did you really think he'd take them?
[ArmandStJust] I don't know. I hoped so. Would he take them if I were dead?
[Maitimo] He wouldn't take anyone's. I doubt he'll even agree to let a god -except possibly Eru- fix them for him. And he certainly wouldn't take yours, not because he thinks you're useless, which he doesn't, or because he's too stubborn to ask for help, which he is, but because he loves you and would never dream of doing that to you. No! No. Don't even think it
[ArmandStJust] I don't know what's wrong with me.
[Maitimo] *sighs* If you want my amateur opinion, it's low self-esteem.
[ArmandStJust] I keep trying to find things to esteem about myself and failing. Utterly.
[Maitimo] Then you're not looking very hard. What are you failing to find?
[ArmandStJust] I can't figure out why any of you love me?
[Maitimo] Armand, would you believe, you're a kind, charismatic, strong and -lovable- person? We love you for all the things you are.
[ArmandStJust] But why don't I feel any of those things?
[Maitimo] ...Some people are very good at overlooking their own virtues.
[ArmandStJust] I told Ada--oh I don't know how long ago--that I'm scared I'll wake up one day and all of you will see me how I see myself and be angry I decieved you.
[Maitimo] ... *hugs him* And I hope that instead you'll wake up one day and see yourself as we do.
[ArmandStJust] Then I'd scare myself.
[Maitimo] *frowns* Armand, don't be so hard on yourself.
[ArmandStJust] Everytime I'm in danger of gaining confidence something happens. So confidence is a bad thing.
[Maitimo] So is self-hatred. The damage you can do to yourself is worse than anything anyone else can do to you.
[ArmandStJust] *studies Mai* How do I get out of this mess?
[Maitimo] *sighs* ...I don't know.
[ArmandStJust] *hugs Mai* I really did feel a lot different just a few days ago. I don't understand it at all. Rosier's dead. I should feel safe.
[Maitimo] *holds him protectively* No, it means you -are- safe. Really feeling it... that's harder.
[ArmandStJust] *clings unashamedly* It does? So I'm not a failure just because I don't feel it?
[Maitimo] *lets him cling, and he'd better not be ashamed* Of course not.
[ArmandStJust] I feel like it's very hard to live up to this family.
[Maitimo] Oh Armand, you don't want to do that. We tend to come to very bad ends.
[ArmandStJust] How else do I fit in then? *smiles shyly at him*
[Maitimo] *smiles back, but goes on almost desperately* You fit in because we love you. Don't try to... live up to us, whatever that means. We're all mad. You'll end up relieved to be at the bottom of a fire pit.
[ArmandStJust] *touches Mai's cheek* But you're all so beautiful and brave.
[Maitimo] *shakes his head, smiling sadly* We're mad. Maybe we're beautiful, and I've known a few who were more than brave, but when you come down to it... we're mad. And I wouldn't wish our lives on anyone.
[ArmandStJust] Mad? Maybe I am too then.
[Maitimo] Well. *wryly amused* You love us. You must be.
[ArmandStJust] You're loveable. *smiles*
[Maitimo] *smiles* Charismatic, I won't deny.
[ArmandStJust] I love you. I love you all. It's so wonderful having a family. *hugs again*
[Maitimo] *hugs back* We all love you. It's wonderful to be your family.
[ArmandStJust] Even when I'm a brat?
[Maitimo] Even when you're a brat. *amused* I had six brothers to look after, and trust me, some of them were terrible brats. Until you start going around deposing kings, I promise not to yell at you.
[ArmandStJust] Can't I depose one or two so long as it isn't Ada? I don't want to lose my Republican membership card. *laughs a little*
[Maitimo] *laughs* If you really want to, I can't stop you. Just try not to make it your cousin. *pauses, arrested* You know, I should hunt him down. I think you'd like him.
[ArmandStJust] Which cousin?
[Maitimo] Findarato. *thinks for a minute, then shakes his head* Sorry, my thoughts ran away with me. *smiles* Just don't get him killed. I've had enough of yelling at brothers for that.
[ArmandStJust] I'll try not to. *smiles*
[Maitimo] *grins* Good. See, you're not such a brat.
[ArmandStJust] *hugs him again* I am finally more tired than upset. Thank you. *fond smile*
[ArmandStJust] It's good to have a big brother.
[ArmandStJust] I love you.
[Maitimo] *hugs back* There's more where I came from. But you'll find that we can horribly bossy. For instance, I can insist that you need to get to bed now.
At which point Sam's connection died, so we can only assume Armand went straight to bed like a good little brother. :)