Another announcement: Yes, he's expecting.
Part II of a really, really...contrived prank, of which Part I was posted yesterday. Alistair decides to take Mercutio's remarks to their literal conclusion. Something ensues.
With special guest appearances of Jehan and an overwatered pot full of violets! Oh, and Alistair does do something useful for once: He talks to Sadako and to Susan.
Alistair: *sneaks carefully in, hides in walk-in closet*
Alistair: *walks very oddly into main room, completely swathed in a green velvet cloak*
Psmith: *looks over at Alistair mid-rant*
Alistair: *does not look up at anyone, but goes over to a large armchair and sits, still covered*
Psmith: *looks over at Alistair*
Psmith: *hopes he's wearing something respectable under that loud cloak*
Romy: *blinks at Alistair*
Alistair: *is waiting for something*
Romy: *blinks at him anyway, so there!*
Mercutio: *enters, dressed as... ZORRO!*
Metatron: *bliiinks at Mercutio*
Romy: *REALLY blinks at Merc*
Mercutio: Halt, evildoers!
Mercutio: I demand tribute.
Alistair: *curls up even further in the cloak*
Mercutio: ... *waves sword* Anyone? Tribute? Hello?
Romy: *blinks at Merc*
Mercutio: I accept virgin sacrifices.
Alistair: *uncovers head, shyly*
Mercutio: Aha! *points at Alistair* A virgin!
Mercutio: *points sword at him* Don't move!
Alistair: *casts head down* I shouldn't be moving at all, really.
Mercutio: *curious head-tilt* ... why?
Psmith: *watches the proceedings vaguely*
Alistair: I need to be resting. She says I should be in isolation for this time.
Mercutio: Are you diseased?
Psmith: I say, if I were to ask what on earth was going on, I would get a distressing response?
Alistair: *small smile* Oh, no, not that at all.
Mercutio: *To P* Yes, ceretainly. *points at Ali* He's pregnant.
Psmith: *looks at Alistair*
Romy: 0.o
Psmith: *looks at Mercutio*
Psmith: AH.
Alistair: Oh, you understand!
Mercutio: It's a terrible, terrible disease.
Mercutio: I ... *clasps hand to chest* must admit... I am the father.
Alistair: No, it's delightful.
Psmith: Not in the least, I'm afraid, but I seem to handle the unknown quite well.
Alistair: No, you're not. My lady is the other parent, of course.
Mercutio: Shh! *rolls eyes* They don't know that.
Alistair: They should. I am proud to belong to her.
Psmith: I say, I don't want to sound presumptuous, but it was always my understanding that it worked the other way 'round
Mercutio: Oh, well, very well, be that way. *flops down in a chair near Alistair*
Mercutio: *oddlooks Psmith* What would you know about it?
Alistair: It's special.
Alistair: We're not of Earth, you know.
Psmith: Well, I suppose as much as anyone else, having only been through childbirth once and as a participant, not an instigator.
Psmith: Ah!
Psmith: that does explain quite a bit.
Alistair: I know I told you last night that it doesn't normally happen, but I had to tell Her of what we said...and She said that this would be the gift she would give to me for being her valiant defender.
Mercutio: *raises eyebrow* Valiant defender?
Alistair: It's too long of a story. *looks down*
Mercutio: *considers him* No, I was wrong. *bright smile* You're cute.
Alistair: *blushes* Thank you. Probably not for long, though, as I will have to be confined soon.
Mercutio: Understandable. We wouldn't want you to become contagious.
Alistair: You can't catch it, silly.
Mercutio: You did. *pokes him*
Alistair: But that's only because of what I am, not of what you are.
Mercutio: I understand completely. Will you marry me?
Alistair: Never.
Mercutio: Oh, well, thought I might as well ask.
Alistair: *looks up* But I am allowed to show you...you know. Would you like to see? *smiles*
Mercutio: *raises eyebrow* .......... certainly.
Alistair: That's why I have the cloak on, you see.
Mercutio: Of course.
Alistair: Come closer. I can't show anyone else.
Mercutio: Oh? I"m special? *approaches*
Alistair: No, it's just that she knows you.
Alistair: *moves cloak away, revealing a matching gown and what looks like an obvious pregnancy*
Mercutio: Drastic. It's slower in humans. May I? *reaches out his hand to touch Alistair's stomach*
Psmith: *is glad that the gown at least matches*
Alistair: Yes. I don't mind.
Alistair: *yes, when he feels, he will feel something slightly moving*
Mercutio: Looks painful. *lightly pats belly*
Alistair: It is rather bothersome, yes.
Mercutio: When will the pup be cooked?
Alistair: It will be even more trouble soon, though. Which is why I shouldn't be walking about.
Alistair: Another six weeks or so.
Alistair: And it should be 'pups'. If things are usual, there should be at least four.
Mercutio: Male or female?
Alistair: A bit of both.
Alistair: I mean, the usual mixture.
Mercutio: Right, of course. Won't it get in the way of Admiral Harrington's duties? And, well, yours?
Alistair: I don't have any duties now, frankly, except for taking care of these children.
Alistair: That's all the duties I should have. *smiles* And the rest of us, of course, will take turns. She will work for all of us. She takes care of us.
Mercutio: ... you know, that's rather... downright disturbing.
Alistair: But it's the way things should be.
Mercutio: Can I be the godfather? ^_^
Alistair: You will have to ask Her. It is not my decision.
Mercutio: Of course. *smirk* I should have assumed.
Alistair: *covers himself back up* No, you shouldn't have.
Alistair: Presumed, I mean.
Mercutio: Mm. Well, congratulations. You're not disappointed you'll lose your girlish figure?
Alistair: No; in fact, it will help me regain my proper one.
Alistair: Oh, and thank you. I'm so very delighted by this. *giggles*
Mercutio: *raises an eyebrow* Regain your proper one?
Mercutio: *looks a bit seasick at the giggle*
Alistair: I've not been properly eating since I've come here. I'm not as...round as She prefers me.
Mercutio: ... you know, I think I'm going to... go.
Alistair: *scared look* Why? Was it something I said?
Mercutio: The jest discomfits me, that is all. *smirk*
Alistair: You think I'm kidding?
Mercutio: I might suggest it.
Alistair: *blinks, as to brush away tears* I'm offended you'd even think such a thing!
Mercutio: Oh, then, sweet madame, let me make it up to you!
Alistair: How?
Mercutio: What would you ask of me?
Alistair: You could bring me a cushion for my poor feet.
Mercutio: At once. *fetches one*
Alistair: *puts feet up* Thank you. You're so very kind. That surprises me.
Alistair: After all, I am not much good to you in this condition.
Mercutio: Good to me?
Mercutio: How would you be much good to me normally?
Alistair: True. You know I wouldn't give in to your seductions.
Mercutio: My seductions? Madame, I would never! *acts scandalized*
Mercutio: ... unless, of course, you were interested. *wink*
Alistair: Not now! I don't even want to think about...that. Ow! *puts hand to stomach*
Mercutio: Oh! *flutters* Are you in much pain, my darling?
Alistair: They're already acting up, poor things. I do think that there are more than four in there. I hate to think what I'll look like at the end of all this.
Alistair: Yes, I am. *flutters eyelashes* But there's naught you can do for it.
Mercutio: More than four? Why, you will have quite a swarm!
Alistair: Oh, yes. We should be able to handle it, but the feeding will be difficult.
Mercutio: *eyebrow* feeding?
Mercutio: And what teat would they suckle?
Alistair: Mine, of course.
Alistair: That's part of the pain, see, everything shifting around and changing...
Mercutio: I see. *looks ready to faint*
Alistair: Are you all right?
Alistair: *starts to open top of cloak* I didn't show you this, after all, I didn't know if it would shock you or not....
Mercutio: Of course. *flutters*
*** Armand-sleepy has joined #desperatefans.
Alistair: *reveals four...somethings under the high-necked velvet gown*
Mercutio: four somethings?
Mercutio: ((sorry, that was in parenthesis...))
Alistair: *well, bumpy things, XD*
Mercutio: ((four somethings? as in supposed breasts?))
Mercutio: *faints**
Alistair: [[oh, yes]]
Alistair: I didn't mean for him to do that. *would get up, but really is too bulky with all the props to move*
Mercutio: Oh, madame, you have killed me! *flail*
Alistair: You're speaking, so you're obviously alive.
Alistair: I wish I could help you up, but *gestures at self* it took all I had to bring me here.
Mercutio: ... details.
Mercutio: That is quite the getup, I must admit.
Alistair: *smiles*
Mercutio: Must take some impressive balance.
Mercutio: You have experience in the theater?
Alistair: I did attend our naval academy, sir.
Alistair: *frowns* You doubt me?
Mercutio: I am yet to be convinced. *smirk*
Mercutio: In fact, I have heard quite an opposite story.
Alistair: *raises eyebrow* Oh?
Mercutio: But I'm sure it would only offend your... delicate senses.
Alistair: I'm not that delicate.
Mercutio: I can tell. You're quite the juggler. *smirk*
Alistair: *smiles* Well? Tell your opposite story.
Mercutio: That the unimpeachable Madeline is happily married to one man, by the name of Paul, and, I had heard rumor of a baby?
Alistair: *smiles broadly* You've got me.
Alistair: Congratulations. You're an incredible actor yourself, you know.
Mercutio: You have earned my highest respect by your jest, and your ladyship, as well.
Mercutio: *bows, grinning* My worthy gentleman.
Alistair: Thank you. *whispers* But as we've seemed to have wound up a few other people, there's no harm in playing out the joke, is there?
Mercutio: *ahem* *smirk* Agreed.
Mercutio: You're the juggler.
Alistair: *laughs* Thank you.
Alistair: *goes into prank-mode again* Will you assist me up, kind sir?
Mercutio: *bows and offers his hand graciously*
Alistair: *takes hand and slowly gets up, losing cloak in process* Oh!
Alistair: Please fetch me my cloak...I shan't be showing myself.
Mercutio: *fetches cloak and wraps it neatly around Alistair's shoulders* Carefully, madame.
Armand-sleepy: *actually is in room, apparently sleeping on a couch again*
Alistair: Thank you.
Alistair: *looks at Armand* And what are you doing here?
Alistair: *to Mercutio* Will you walk me to that couch over there? Please, support me from behind; I fear I shall fall and risk my precious burden.
Mercutio: Oh, yes, your precious cargo... *fights laughter, and steers him to the couch*
Alistair: *whispers* Shush. I'm having fun with this.
Mercutio: My marraige proposal still stands.
Armand-sleepy: *sleepily of course* Was talking to Ada and Percy.
Alistair: *whispers* I have a girlfriend. Really.
Mercutio: I'm just saying...
Alistair: *laughs* I know.
Alistair: Oh, you were, Armand? That's delightful. You look so lovely sleeping there.
Armand-sleepy: I need to see if the gate is open. *yawns*
Alistair: Oh, you're going back?
Armand-sleepy: Where else can I go?
Alistair: That's all right, you've missed nothing. *pushes the cloak slightly back so Armand can see what's underneath*
Alistair: We're all perfectly all right, and you look slightly better than the last time I've seen you.
Armand-sleepy: Thanks. *blinks* What are you up to?
Mercutio: I would, however, be honored to be your friend. *brings Alistair a cup of tea* Tea?
Alistair: Thank you, sir. And the friendship offer is one I'd accept.
Alistair: Armand, shh. *pitches voice down* It's a very long-lasting windup.
Mercutio: I must admit, I -was- wondering about that part.
Armand-sleepy: *blinks and nods*
Alistair: It worked that well?
Mercutio: I was mystified. I mean, I knew the jest, but I didn't know how.
Alistair: There's enough stuff in the plothole and the various closets to do an incredible range of...well, costuming.
Alistair: That and my communicator has a vibrating alarm.
Alistair: It's all in the timing.
Mercutio: Impressive. *grins*
Alistair: Thank you. I'd bow to you, but I really had to do a lot of work to make this all convincing, and that would be physically impossible.
Mercutio: Your belly full of hellspawn.
Mercutio: And vibrators. *ahem-smirk* *sips tea*
Alistair: *laughs* Be kind of hard to answer a call, if I got one.
Alistair: Thank God you knew it was a joke; I don't know if I could have kept this up.
Alistair: For more than a day or two, at least.
Alistair: *to Armand* And that, little guy, is the reason I can't walk your tired self to the gate.
Armand-sleepy: I didn't expect you to. *small smile*
Alistair: *grins* I know. You just look...very tired.
Armand-sleepy: I am, so I ought to go now.
Alistair: *flutters eyelashes at Mercutio* Dear boy, can you assist me out of his way?
Mercutio: At once, dear woman. *helps hiim up*
Armand-sleepy: *gets to his own feet* *nods farewell to Alistair* Auvoir
Alistair: *pats stomach* Oh, dear. Every fifteen minutes, a pulse
Alistair: Good night, Armand.
*** Armand-sleepy has signed off IRC
Alistair: Will you walk me to the kitchen? I'm a bit hungry.
Mercutio: As you wish, my lady. *escorts*
Alistair: I'm going to have to warn the Admiral about this. She isn't going to be liking it much at all.
Mercutio: Which part?
Alistair: I can barely sit down.
Alistair: Or move.
Mercutio: so?
Alistair: Well, she'll be experiencing it as well.
Mercutio: What do you mean?
Alistair: Oh, never mind. You did hear the rumor.
Alistair: *attempts to pull out chair*
Mercutio: Not much of it, I'm afraid.
Alistair: Oh. She really needs to say one way or another, to everyone. But that is her business. Not mine. She's sick of my nagging.
Alistair: *waddles over to pantry*
Mercutio: I sympathize with her.
Alistair: What, being weary of me?
Mercutio: With being nagged.
Alistair: Who's been nagging you?
Mercutio: *shrugs* No one in particular.
Alistair: *valiantly attempts to prepare instant noodles*
Mercutio: *watches with a smirk* Need help?
BiliousKaos: *wanders timidly in, trying his hardest not to set anything on fire*
Alistair: Certainly. I keep bumping into the counter here. Pour the water, would you?
Alistair: It's pathetic. The only thing I missed about living here was the occasional cup of soup.
BiliousKaos: *peeks into the kitchen, and accidentally sets a couch behind him on fire in shock*
Mercutio: *helps* You're pitiful, you know that? *amused*
Alistair: Yes, I am. *pretends to sob* I'm so helpless!
BiliousKaos: *blinks at Alistair*
Alistair: *blinks back, squeaks* Hello?
Mercutio: *starts laughing*
BiliousKaos: May I just ask, are you male or female?
Alistair: *pitches voice slightly higher* It depends on the time of year, really.
BiliousKaos: *goggles, and sets a wooden chair on fire*
BiliousKaos: Oh dear, I really must stop doing that...
Alistair: Yes. I can't get to the fire extinguisher in time.
BiliousKaos: *throws a jug of water at it, since still hasn't worked out extinguishing*
BiliousKaos: What I meant to say is, that's not possible. I'm a god, so I should probably know.
Alistair: Well, it is possible. I've switched twice in the last two months.
Alistair: This one, however, appears to be sticking for a while.
BiliousKaos: So you are female?
Mercutio: Can't you tell? *fondles one of Alistair's 'breasts'*
Alistair: Ow!
Alistair: They're a bit sore right now.
BiliousKaos: Well, most females I've seen have been somewhat less stubbly...
Alistair: *feels face* That shouldn't be happening. I had that nanosurgery done, and it fails now?
Alistair: [no, he didn't in canon, but something has to explain how he managed not to get all fuzzy being stranded in the middle of nowhere]
BiliousKaos: *sits down* I think I have a headache coming on.
BiliousKaos: And I know all about headache.
BiliousKaos: Heeeeey. I'd be able to drink now...
Alistair: I wish I could.
BiliousKaos: Any whiskey around? Or brandy? Or vodka? Or all of them at once?
Alistair: The kitchen usually has all that. I'd mix it for you, but...*gestures at self*
BiliousKaos: .... Of course, ma'am. Here, take a seat. Can't be straining yourself in your condition...I think.
Alistair: *sits down, slowly* Thank you.
BiliousKaos: *goes to start drinking as much alcohol as he can find*
Alistair: *pokes at instant noodles*
Alistair: If I start eating dirt, I'm going to kill myself. Or better yet, the person who did this to me.
BiliousKaos: whyyyydya eat dir?
Alistair: Because I'm pregnant. Odd cravings.
BiliousKaos: thas straaange
Alistair: It's actually quite common.
Alistair: *eats more noodles* This would taste even better with orange sherbet.
Mercutio: *pulls some out of the plothole and hands it to him*
BiliousKaos: can' shay ive ever been pregnan.
Alistair: Thank you, dear. *eats*
Alistair: Be thankful you're not.
BiliousKaos: ish it really that baaad?
Mercutio: *leans on Alistair and naps*
BiliousKaos: ish that the father?
*** Sadako has joined #desperatefans.
Sadako: Konnichi wa, minna-san.
BiliousKaos: konniwha?
Alistair: No. I don't know where he is. *dabs eyes with napkin*
Mercutio: I'm the jealous boyfriend. *smiles helpfully*
BiliousKaos: thassaaaad!
Mercutio: If I get my hands on that bastard, I'll... *growls*
Mercutio: *goes back to napping*
Alistair: He'll come back. When the babies are born.
Alistair: He was ever so beautiful...
Mercutio: Y'know, we should've said, no, you -ate- the father.
Mercutio: Has a nice ring to it.
BiliousKaos: *pats pockets for handkerchief, as is near bawling* you poor thin, having some nasty man take adw... agv... advantage of you like that and then run away.
BiliousKaos: ....babies?
Alistair: Yes! I'll be having four of them.
BiliousKaos: *finds more to drink*
Alistair: At least...*dabs eyes*
BiliousKaos: *and more*
Alistair: Don't worry about me. He'll be back. He promised me.
Mercutio: I'm going to go sleep around, if that's okay with you, dear. *pats Ali's tummy*
BiliousKaos: but he desh.. aben... left you!
Alistair: That's fine. *mock sobbing*
BiliousKaos: *blinks at Mercutio* rashcal!!!!!!
Mercutio: Oh, but she likes me that way. *winks*
*** Mercutio has signed off IRC
Alistair: I just met him, but he cares for me so much...*smiles*
BiliousKaos: you desherve bettererer!
Alistair: I do have better. He'll be back. He went back to his homeland. And me, the poor alien girl, stranded in this place...he'll return.
BiliousKaos: alien?
BiliousKaos: bt you're not green
Alistair: No, but do you know any human female with four breasts?
Alistair: Did you think you had double vision because of the drink?
BiliousKaos: *takes another drink (good thing he's a god)*
Alistair: [hey, why is the former oh god of hangovers drinking?]
BiliousKaos: [Because he is currently free of hangovers, and wants to know what it's like to be drunk]
Alistair: Can you help me up?
Alistair: I'm not sure if you can support me, in your state, but I can't make it back alone.
BiliousKaos: *staggers over and offers an arm, leaning heavily on a bench*
Jehan: *hums, doo...doo doot doo doooo....and overwaters the flowers*
ShrinkingViolets: *splutter*
Alistair: *pulls up on his arm and gets up* I think I can waddle my way to the main room.
Alistair: *forgot cloak*
Jehan: ...........!!!
Jehan: Oh, oh, oh, i'm sorry....oh, good heavens, I'm so sorry... *tries to mop up the water from the soil*
Alistair: *waddles in, looking for a chaise longue*
Sadako: *looks at the flowers over Jehan's shoulder* It looks like a cheerful version of the well...
Alistair: *lies down, ignoring Mulciber* I'm so very tired...
Jehan: *starts, and then blushes and bites his lip* I....I didn't mean to...!
BiliousKaos: *staggers in from kitchen* lookit all the elephants
Sadako: *smiles slightly* Well...they won't absorb all of it, will they?
Alistair: *calls to Jehan* Are you drowning the plants again?
BiliousKaos: *passes out*
Jehan: Oh, but....they'll drow -- .......*blushes dark red* .......I....I didn't mean to..... *ducks his head so Alistair can't see him all red*
Jehan: (the blood of angry meeeeeen)
ShrinkingViolets: *shivering*
Alistair: Remember what I said about the drainage holes?
Jehan: *mops sadly at the flowers some more*
Jehan: .......Well, yes, but -- but....
ShrinkingViolets: *shivershiver*
Jehan: I just keep doing it, and it's more a matter of me learning to stop, and....!
Romy: Violets!
Alistair: You can be trained out of it.
Sadako: You want some help with that?
Alistair: *pats stomach* Ow. Not again.
ShrinkingViolets: Romy??
Romy: Hey, there!
Jehan: ....Er....yes, I know I can.... but...
ShrinkingViolets: Hello, Romy! We've missed you!
Alistair: It's just hard to learn new behavior. I know.
Romy: How are you?
Jehan: *sighs heavily* The poor things....
Alistair: Well, just don't water them again tonight.
Alistair: You seem to use that as a calming technique.
ShrinkingViolets: We're slightly chilly, but otherwise well. How are you?
Romy: I am well!
Jehan: *bites his lip* ....I don't really feel nervous..
Alistair: *puzzled* Did I just hear something?
ShrinkingViolets: We're ever so glad to hear that.
Jehan: ....?
Mulciber: *kisses her forehead*
ShrinkingViolets: Jehan's been sending us for a swim *giggle*
Jehan: *wah guilt ;_;*
Romy: Oh? What do you mean?
Alistair: Well, the flowers seem to like it.
ShrinkingViolets: *giggle* Take a look at our pot. We're drenched!
Jehan: ...I don't know. It can't be healthy...
ShrinkingViolets: *send out tendril to wrap around Jehan's finger*
Jehan: *smiles at the flowers and pets them*
Romy: Oh, I see. Does too much water hurt you? *smiles at Jehan*
Jehan: *smiles awkwardly*
ShrinkingViolets: We get ever so cold. We don't like it too often. But Jehan doesn't mean it. And he reads us poetry, at least.
ShrinkingViolets: Have you two met each other?
Romy: No, we haven't!
ShrinkingViolets: Ohh!!! You must!! Jehan, this is Romy. She reads me sonnets. Shakespeare. Romy, this is Jehan. He reads me his own poems, and he's so clever at them.
Alistair: *smiles at Sadako* I haven't met you before.
Jehan: *turns* Oh -- oh, I'm so sorry! It's rude of me. Hallo! I'm Je -- yes. Haha.
Romy: *smiles and offers her hand* Good to meet you!
Jehan: *takes her hand and laughs embarrassedly* Yes, it's lovely to meet you.
ShrinkingViolets: *beamyrustle*
Jehan: *pets the flowers*
Romy: I'd like to hear some of your poetry, sometime, if that's all right.
ShrinkingViolets: Please read us some, Jehan!
Sadako: *looks at Alistair* I tend to keep away, I'm...dangerous.
Alistair: Dangerous, how? You don't look dangerous to me.
Sadako: I'm a killer. With tapes. I'm much, much more than I seem.
Alistair: *raises eyebrows* Oh. You.
Jehan: Oh -- um..... *blushes* Ummm..... well, okay.... er, haha, okay... *recites a poem quietly*
Sadako: Yes. *sighs*
ShrinkingViolets: *beamrustlehappy*
Alistair: You will have to try to kill me another day, I'm afraid.
Romy: *grins* That was lovely!!
Jehan: Ha...haha...*blushes* Thank you..!
Alistair: It's not just me I have to worry about now.
ShrinkingViolets: Isn't he clever!
Romy: Quite!
Sadako: I'm not going to try to kill you. You haven't watched the tape and I'm trying to avoid accidentally showing it in here again.
Jehan: *laughs embarrassedly* .....thank you both...it's...quite flattering.
Alistair: *nods, or as much as can when lying reclined*
ShrinkingViolets: *giggle*
Sadako: So...well...I'm afraid I don't know who you are...sorry.
Romy: Your poetry is quite lovely!
Alistair: Oh. I'm a friend of Admiral Harrington's.
Jehan: *smiles awkwardly* Oh...thank you. It's -- well, if needs more work, really, but... thank you.
Sadako: ...who?
ShrinkingViolets: We think it's very lovely! We'd never be ablet o write something like that.
Alistair: Tall lady. She saw your tape before I showed up here.
Jehan: *laughs* Oh, I'm certain you could! All one has to do is love something very much....and then think, just think...and feelings pour out.
ShrinkingViolets: Really? It's that easy?
Sadako: Oh, right. Sorry. I tend not to keep track of who watches it unless they're...well...odd.
Jehan: Well, yes, I suppose! ....I mean, there's quite a bit of polishing afterwards... but really...all poetry is is feelings.
Alistair: That's all right.
ShrinkingViolets: Someone we love very much....
Jehan: *smiles* yes! Someone or something. Anything you feel strongly for.
Sadako: I kind of have to. Professional detatchment and all that.
Alistair: I completely understand that. We naval officers have to do a bit of that too.
ShrinkingViolets: We...*rustle* we think we love you very much. Could we write something for you?
Jehan: ....*blushes darkly* I love you too. ...If you like... I would be so flattered. No one's ever written me poetry before..
Sadako: It's not fair to anybody. It's draining, it's...painful at times, and it's unfair...
ShrinkingViolets: It wouldn't be very good, but we'd very much like to. *rustlebeamrustle and wrap tendril tighter around fingers*
Alistair: *nods* I wish I could help you.
Jehan: It would be lovely! As long as it's honest, it's lovely. *smiles and pets the flowers*
Sadako: So...is it normal to feel like this? I mean, if you know...
Alistair: Yes, it is, completely normal.
ShrinkingViolets: Well, we'll try to make you very proud of us *beam*
Sadako: *sighs*
Alistair: I assume that you have to do this thing with the tape. It's your job.
Jehan: I'm already terribly proud of you! There's no need to worry about that. *smiles*
Alistair: Or at least you could call it that. But you don't want to.
Sadako: Pretty much.
ShrinkingViolets: *beamblushhappyrustle*
Romy: *grins at the Violets and Jehan* I should go. Good night to you all.
Jehan: ...oh, good night....!
Jehan: It was lovely meeting you.
Alistair: I wish I didn't have to kill people either. But I do.
Sadako: I mean, I used to, but now...I'm so unsure of myself. I'm sure it's not the right thing to do...but...*sigh*
ShrinkingViolets: Good night, Romy!! *reach tendril to hand* Thank you for visiting!
Alistair: You can't stop yourself?
Romy: *nods* It was! And I shall try to visit you again, soon.
Sadako: That and it's my destiny. I can't stop.
Alistair: I wish I had a solution for you. I'm working on that for me.
Alistair: As long as I stay here, I don't have to command anyone to die.
Sadako: Hmmm...maybe I could get that kind of loophole. *smiles*
Alistair: Well, think about it.
Alistair: *smiles*
Sadako: Hmmm...have you ever played Quarters?
Alistair: I can't say that I have.
Alistair: I'm in no condition to play anything strenuous, though.
Sadako: It pretty much is spinning quarters and shooting it at each other's knuckles...
Alistair: I can't say that I've ever seen a quarter. But I get your idea.
ShrinkingViolets: Ooops, we fell asleep, we think....
ShrinkingViolets: I think all that poetry has made us sleepy...
Sadako: *smiles* All I know is that I saw a group playing it one day when I was...working.
Jehan: *smiles* That's all right! Sleep if you need it.
Alistair: It sounds a bit painful.
ShrinkingViolets: *fall asleep, and tendrils slip from Jehan's fingers*
Alistair: Not like I'm a stranger to pain.
Alistair: *shifts a bit on the couch*
Jehan: *smiles and pets the flowers gently, and doesn't bother them*
ShrinkingViolets: *happysleepingrustle*
Sadako: Pain is...normal. Very normal. Just like death.
Alistair: *nods* Doesn't mean I wish to seek any of them out.
Sadako: *sighs*
Alistair: *tries to get up, and fails*
Alistair: *muttering* I hadn't intended to be stuck out here like this all night.
SusanStoHelit: *wanders in, notices Alistair and raises an eyebrow*
SusanStoHelit: You've changed.
Alistair: Only temporarily, Miss Susan. It's a long story.
SusanStoHelit: Well, no matter what the length of the story, you seem somewhat stuck.
Alistair: Yes. I just need your help to get up and move around a bit.
SusanStoHelit: *sighs, and helps him up, since she's in a good mood*
Alistair: Thank you. I'll try to return the favor someday.
Alistair: *in a low voice* Although I don't think you're one for the elaborate practical joke.
Alistair: *heads for closet* My regular outfit's in there.
SusanStoHelit: No, last I checked, men didn't tend to rapidly pick up advanced cases of pregnancy.
Alistair: Nope. Thank goodness.
Alistair: This wasn't the smartest joke I've ever done.
Alistair: But I managed to fool one guy, at least.
SusanStoHelit: Let me get my coffee, and then you can explain.
Alistair: No problem.
SusanStoHelit: *heads to kitchen to make coffee*
Alistair: *gets clothes out of closet, but does not change yet*
Alistair: *follows Susan into kitchen* There's where I left that damn cloak.
SusanStoHelit: Oh, that's yours? I was wondering what that was.
Alistair: Another prop.
SusanStoHelit: *finishes making coffee* You seem to have thought it out well, at least.
SusanStoHelit: It looks convincing enough.
Alistair: It was damn tricky, though, getting the timing of the thing off.
Alistair: And then it turns out the guy I was pranking had already figured it was a joke, until I took it a bit too far and confused him again.
SusanStoHelit: *leads back into main room to sit on a nice, sensible chair*
Alistair: *puts on cloak and follows her*
Alistair: I'm not going to sit down again until I get all this off.
Alistair: Which will be soon. I don't know how anyone can stand wearing this stretch velvet crap.
SusanStoHelit: Why don't you change now?
Alistair: *looks around* Well, there's nobody left in here to prank.
Alistair: *heads for closet*
SusanStoHelit: [The closet? Right]
Alistair: [It's a walkin. Next to the plot hole. I know.]
Alistair: *comes back, holding a large gym bag, and wearing ordinary civilian T-shirt and shorts*
Alistair: I'd say I'd never do that again, but I had entirely too much fun doing it.
SusanStoHelit: That definitely suits you better.
Alistair: I'd agree on that.
Alistair: Well, anyway, you said you wanted to hear the story.
SusanStoHelit: Yes, please enlighten me.
Alistair: Last night, this one guy was harassing the Admiral and Colonel LaFollet, and I decided to get him back.
Alistair: I told him that Honor was married to the five of us, you know, her junior officers, and they all played along with me.
Alistair: I just did that so Andrew wouldn't kill the guy.
SusanStoHelit: *murmurs* Polygamy. One of the most interesting arrangements humans have invented.
Alistair: He's so darn uptight sometimes, it's ridiculous. Anyway. We took it a bit too far and I ended up playing a submissive sort, and that guy confused us with aliens and said he thought I was the one to bear the children.
Alistair: The correct word for multiple men, I think, is polyandry, but I get the idea.
Alistair: He promised to leave us alone.
SusanStoHelit: *amused look* I stand corrected.
Alistair: *nods and shrugs* But I saw him in here tonight when I came down to get a bit to eat, and remembered some of the odd stuff I saw in that closet, and I got this plan.
Alistair: Never thought hanging around stage crew in high school would come in handy.
Alistair: ...I meant, being in it. My sister was the actor.
SusanStoHelit: Oh. Thespians.
Alistair: I'm not much of one.
SusanStoHelit: Even so.
SusanStoHelit: Well, an interesting ruse, at least. And I pity the poor fellow who was taken in.
Alistair: So do I, because when he sees me like I normally am, he's going to be confused.
SusanStoHelit: You mean you can't have already given birth? *amused smile*
Alistair: That's right, I hadn't told him how soon it would be.
Alistair: You do have a sense of humor, Miss Susan.
Alistair: Speaking of alien lands and ways, I was supposed to approach you about testing a way for us to go back home.
SusanStoHelit: You thought I didn't?
Alistair: Well, that night, I didn't, but it may have just have been Chauvelin getting on your nerves.
Alistair: He gets on mine.
SusanStoHelit: I'd had too many coffees interrupted. It doesn't show anyone's best side. Although many say that this is my best side.
Alistair: You're fine now.
SusanStoHelit: Where is your home?
Alistair: The Star Kingdom of Manticore, and I have no idea where it is in relation to this place, or even when.
SusanStoHelit: Do you have a certain person I could try to find? I cannot reach all places, and it's hard to find places so vaguely without a focus.
Alistair: Hmm.
Alistair: If I tell you to find anyone in the Navy, who knows where they are or if they even still are?
Alistair: [he's going to ask you to find a fanon character. as everything he's canonically tied to is...here]
Alistair: My sister shouldn't have gone far. I lived...live with her.
SusanStoHelit: What's her name?
Alistair: Fenella.
SusanStoHelit: Just Fenella?
Alistair: Fenella Sumire McKeon.
Alistair: Do you need her various job titles as well?
Alistair: *laughs*
SusanStoHelit: I'll look her up. She might not be in Grandfather's jurisdiction, though.
Alistair: Oh, thank you.
SusanStoHelit: It may take time, though, so I'd thank you not to hassle me about it.
Alistair: I won't bother you about it.
Alistair: When you get an answer, you'll come to me.
Alistair: *takes memo pad out of pocket and makes note in calendar program*
SusanStoHelit: *raises an eyebrow*
Alistair: I'm just noting when I talked to you for the record.
Alistair: You seem reliable, that's all. You have this absolute aura of reliability.
SusanSH: If you must...
Alistair: If you need me to erase the record, I will. It's mostly for my purposes. My memory's gone to pieces here.
SusanStoHelit: My grandfather would be most curious about that. Of course you can keep the record. I was just surprised.
Alistair: Oh, the device?
SusanStoHelit: No, about your memory loss. He has trouble that way.
Alistair: It's probably related to depression and lack of sleep.
SusanStoHelit: Well, I can't say he's ever slept...
Alistair: That may be his issue. *smiles*
SusanStoHelit: Well, it rather comes with who he is.
SusanStoHelit: Anyway, I must go. I'll have a look for your sister.
Alistair: *gathers vast amount of stuff and walks out*
With special guest appearances of Jehan and an overwatered pot full of violets! Oh, and Alistair does do something useful for once: He talks to Sadako and to Susan.
Alistair: *sneaks carefully in, hides in walk-in closet*
Alistair: *walks very oddly into main room, completely swathed in a green velvet cloak*
Psmith: *looks over at Alistair mid-rant*
Alistair: *does not look up at anyone, but goes over to a large armchair and sits, still covered*
Psmith: *looks over at Alistair*
Psmith: *hopes he's wearing something respectable under that loud cloak*
Romy: *blinks at Alistair*
Alistair: *is waiting for something*
Romy: *blinks at him anyway, so there!*
Mercutio: *enters, dressed as... ZORRO!*
Metatron: *bliiinks at Mercutio*
Romy: *REALLY blinks at Merc*
Mercutio: Halt, evildoers!
Mercutio: I demand tribute.
Alistair: *curls up even further in the cloak*
Mercutio: ... *waves sword* Anyone? Tribute? Hello?
Romy: *blinks at Merc*
Mercutio: I accept virgin sacrifices.
Alistair: *uncovers head, shyly*
Mercutio: Aha! *points at Alistair* A virgin!
Mercutio: *points sword at him* Don't move!
Alistair: *casts head down* I shouldn't be moving at all, really.
Mercutio: *curious head-tilt* ... why?
Psmith: *watches the proceedings vaguely*
Alistair: I need to be resting. She says I should be in isolation for this time.
Mercutio: Are you diseased?
Psmith: I say, if I were to ask what on earth was going on, I would get a distressing response?
Alistair: *small smile* Oh, no, not that at all.
Mercutio: *To P* Yes, ceretainly. *points at Ali* He's pregnant.
Psmith: *looks at Alistair*
Romy: 0.o
Psmith: *looks at Mercutio*
Psmith: AH.
Alistair: Oh, you understand!
Mercutio: It's a terrible, terrible disease.
Mercutio: I ... *clasps hand to chest* must admit... I am the father.
Alistair: No, it's delightful.
Psmith: Not in the least, I'm afraid, but I seem to handle the unknown quite well.
Alistair: No, you're not. My lady is the other parent, of course.
Mercutio: Shh! *rolls eyes* They don't know that.
Alistair: They should. I am proud to belong to her.
Psmith: I say, I don't want to sound presumptuous, but it was always my understanding that it worked the other way 'round
Mercutio: Oh, well, very well, be that way. *flops down in a chair near Alistair*
Mercutio: *oddlooks Psmith* What would you know about it?
Alistair: It's special.
Alistair: We're not of Earth, you know.
Psmith: Well, I suppose as much as anyone else, having only been through childbirth once and as a participant, not an instigator.
Psmith: Ah!
Psmith: that does explain quite a bit.
Alistair: I know I told you last night that it doesn't normally happen, but I had to tell Her of what we said...and She said that this would be the gift she would give to me for being her valiant defender.
Mercutio: *raises eyebrow* Valiant defender?
Alistair: It's too long of a story. *looks down*
Mercutio: *considers him* No, I was wrong. *bright smile* You're cute.
Alistair: *blushes* Thank you. Probably not for long, though, as I will have to be confined soon.
Mercutio: Understandable. We wouldn't want you to become contagious.
Alistair: You can't catch it, silly.
Mercutio: You did. *pokes him*
Alistair: But that's only because of what I am, not of what you are.
Mercutio: I understand completely. Will you marry me?
Alistair: Never.
Mercutio: Oh, well, thought I might as well ask.
Alistair: *looks up* But I am allowed to show you...you know. Would you like to see? *smiles*
Mercutio: *raises eyebrow* .......... certainly.
Alistair: That's why I have the cloak on, you see.
Mercutio: Of course.
Alistair: Come closer. I can't show anyone else.
Mercutio: Oh? I"m special? *approaches*
Alistair: No, it's just that she knows you.
Alistair: *moves cloak away, revealing a matching gown and what looks like an obvious pregnancy*
Mercutio: Drastic. It's slower in humans. May I? *reaches out his hand to touch Alistair's stomach*
Psmith: *is glad that the gown at least matches*
Alistair: Yes. I don't mind.
Alistair: *yes, when he feels, he will feel something slightly moving*
Mercutio: Looks painful. *lightly pats belly*
Alistair: It is rather bothersome, yes.
Mercutio: When will the pup be cooked?
Alistair: It will be even more trouble soon, though. Which is why I shouldn't be walking about.
Alistair: Another six weeks or so.
Alistair: And it should be 'pups'. If things are usual, there should be at least four.
Mercutio: Male or female?
Alistair: A bit of both.
Alistair: I mean, the usual mixture.
Mercutio: Right, of course. Won't it get in the way of Admiral Harrington's duties? And, well, yours?
Alistair: I don't have any duties now, frankly, except for taking care of these children.
Alistair: That's all the duties I should have. *smiles* And the rest of us, of course, will take turns. She will work for all of us. She takes care of us.
Mercutio: ... you know, that's rather... downright disturbing.
Alistair: But it's the way things should be.
Mercutio: Can I be the godfather? ^_^
Alistair: You will have to ask Her. It is not my decision.
Mercutio: Of course. *smirk* I should have assumed.
Alistair: *covers himself back up* No, you shouldn't have.
Alistair: Presumed, I mean.
Mercutio: Mm. Well, congratulations. You're not disappointed you'll lose your girlish figure?
Alistair: No; in fact, it will help me regain my proper one.
Alistair: Oh, and thank you. I'm so very delighted by this. *giggles*
Mercutio: *raises an eyebrow* Regain your proper one?
Mercutio: *looks a bit seasick at the giggle*
Alistair: I've not been properly eating since I've come here. I'm not as...round as She prefers me.
Mercutio: ... you know, I think I'm going to... go.
Alistair: *scared look* Why? Was it something I said?
Mercutio: The jest discomfits me, that is all. *smirk*
Alistair: You think I'm kidding?
Mercutio: I might suggest it.
Alistair: *blinks, as to brush away tears* I'm offended you'd even think such a thing!
Mercutio: Oh, then, sweet madame, let me make it up to you!
Alistair: How?
Mercutio: What would you ask of me?
Alistair: You could bring me a cushion for my poor feet.
Mercutio: At once. *fetches one*
Alistair: *puts feet up* Thank you. You're so very kind. That surprises me.
Alistair: After all, I am not much good to you in this condition.
Mercutio: Good to me?
Mercutio: How would you be much good to me normally?
Alistair: True. You know I wouldn't give in to your seductions.
Mercutio: My seductions? Madame, I would never! *acts scandalized*
Mercutio: ... unless, of course, you were interested. *wink*
Alistair: Not now! I don't even want to think about...that. Ow! *puts hand to stomach*
Mercutio: Oh! *flutters* Are you in much pain, my darling?
Alistair: They're already acting up, poor things. I do think that there are more than four in there. I hate to think what I'll look like at the end of all this.
Alistair: Yes, I am. *flutters eyelashes* But there's naught you can do for it.
Mercutio: More than four? Why, you will have quite a swarm!
Alistair: Oh, yes. We should be able to handle it, but the feeding will be difficult.
Mercutio: *eyebrow* feeding?
Mercutio: And what teat would they suckle?
Alistair: Mine, of course.
Alistair: That's part of the pain, see, everything shifting around and changing...
Mercutio: I see. *looks ready to faint*
Alistair: Are you all right?
Alistair: *starts to open top of cloak* I didn't show you this, after all, I didn't know if it would shock you or not....
Mercutio: Of course. *flutters*
*** Armand-sleepy has joined #desperatefans.
Alistair: *reveals four...somethings under the high-necked velvet gown*
Mercutio: four somethings?
Mercutio: ((sorry, that was in parenthesis...))
Alistair: *well, bumpy things, XD*
Mercutio: ((four somethings? as in supposed breasts?))
Mercutio: *faints**
Alistair: [[oh, yes]]
Alistair: I didn't mean for him to do that. *would get up, but really is too bulky with all the props to move*
Mercutio: Oh, madame, you have killed me! *flail*
Alistair: You're speaking, so you're obviously alive.
Alistair: I wish I could help you up, but *gestures at self* it took all I had to bring me here.
Mercutio: ... details.
Mercutio: That is quite the getup, I must admit.
Alistair: *smiles*
Mercutio: Must take some impressive balance.
Mercutio: You have experience in the theater?
Alistair: I did attend our naval academy, sir.
Alistair: *frowns* You doubt me?
Mercutio: I am yet to be convinced. *smirk*
Mercutio: In fact, I have heard quite an opposite story.
Alistair: *raises eyebrow* Oh?
Mercutio: But I'm sure it would only offend your... delicate senses.
Alistair: I'm not that delicate.
Mercutio: I can tell. You're quite the juggler. *smirk*
Alistair: *smiles* Well? Tell your opposite story.
Mercutio: That the unimpeachable Madeline is happily married to one man, by the name of Paul, and, I had heard rumor of a baby?
Alistair: *smiles broadly* You've got me.
Alistair: Congratulations. You're an incredible actor yourself, you know.
Mercutio: You have earned my highest respect by your jest, and your ladyship, as well.
Mercutio: *bows, grinning* My worthy gentleman.
Alistair: Thank you. *whispers* But as we've seemed to have wound up a few other people, there's no harm in playing out the joke, is there?
Mercutio: *ahem* *smirk* Agreed.
Mercutio: You're the juggler.
Alistair: *laughs* Thank you.
Alistair: *goes into prank-mode again* Will you assist me up, kind sir?
Mercutio: *bows and offers his hand graciously*
Alistair: *takes hand and slowly gets up, losing cloak in process* Oh!
Alistair: Please fetch me my cloak...I shan't be showing myself.
Mercutio: *fetches cloak and wraps it neatly around Alistair's shoulders* Carefully, madame.
Armand-sleepy: *actually is in room, apparently sleeping on a couch again*
Alistair: Thank you.
Alistair: *looks at Armand* And what are you doing here?
Alistair: *to Mercutio* Will you walk me to that couch over there? Please, support me from behind; I fear I shall fall and risk my precious burden.
Mercutio: Oh, yes, your precious cargo... *fights laughter, and steers him to the couch*
Alistair: *whispers* Shush. I'm having fun with this.
Mercutio: My marraige proposal still stands.
Armand-sleepy: *sleepily of course* Was talking to Ada and Percy.
Alistair: *whispers* I have a girlfriend. Really.
Mercutio: I'm just saying...
Alistair: *laughs* I know.
Alistair: Oh, you were, Armand? That's delightful. You look so lovely sleeping there.
Armand-sleepy: I need to see if the gate is open. *yawns*
Alistair: Oh, you're going back?
Armand-sleepy: Where else can I go?
Alistair: That's all right, you've missed nothing. *pushes the cloak slightly back so Armand can see what's underneath*
Alistair: We're all perfectly all right, and you look slightly better than the last time I've seen you.
Armand-sleepy: Thanks. *blinks* What are you up to?
Mercutio: I would, however, be honored to be your friend. *brings Alistair a cup of tea* Tea?
Alistair: Thank you, sir. And the friendship offer is one I'd accept.
Alistair: Armand, shh. *pitches voice down* It's a very long-lasting windup.
Mercutio: I must admit, I -was- wondering about that part.
Armand-sleepy: *blinks and nods*
Alistair: It worked that well?
Mercutio: I was mystified. I mean, I knew the jest, but I didn't know how.
Alistair: There's enough stuff in the plothole and the various closets to do an incredible range of...well, costuming.
Alistair: That and my communicator has a vibrating alarm.
Alistair: It's all in the timing.
Mercutio: Impressive. *grins*
Alistair: Thank you. I'd bow to you, but I really had to do a lot of work to make this all convincing, and that would be physically impossible.
Mercutio: Your belly full of hellspawn.
Mercutio: And vibrators. *ahem-smirk* *sips tea*
Alistair: *laughs* Be kind of hard to answer a call, if I got one.
Alistair: Thank God you knew it was a joke; I don't know if I could have kept this up.
Alistair: For more than a day or two, at least.
Alistair: *to Armand* And that, little guy, is the reason I can't walk your tired self to the gate.
Armand-sleepy: I didn't expect you to. *small smile*
Alistair: *grins* I know. You just look...very tired.
Armand-sleepy: I am, so I ought to go now.
Alistair: *flutters eyelashes at Mercutio* Dear boy, can you assist me out of his way?
Mercutio: At once, dear woman. *helps hiim up*
Armand-sleepy: *gets to his own feet* *nods farewell to Alistair* Auvoir
Alistair: *pats stomach* Oh, dear. Every fifteen minutes, a pulse
Alistair: Good night, Armand.
*** Armand-sleepy has signed off IRC
Alistair: Will you walk me to the kitchen? I'm a bit hungry.
Mercutio: As you wish, my lady. *escorts*
Alistair: I'm going to have to warn the Admiral about this. She isn't going to be liking it much at all.
Mercutio: Which part?
Alistair: I can barely sit down.
Alistair: Or move.
Mercutio: so?
Alistair: Well, she'll be experiencing it as well.
Mercutio: What do you mean?
Alistair: Oh, never mind. You did hear the rumor.
Alistair: *attempts to pull out chair*
Mercutio: Not much of it, I'm afraid.
Alistair: Oh. She really needs to say one way or another, to everyone. But that is her business. Not mine. She's sick of my nagging.
Alistair: *waddles over to pantry*
Mercutio: I sympathize with her.
Alistair: What, being weary of me?
Mercutio: With being nagged.
Alistair: Who's been nagging you?
Mercutio: *shrugs* No one in particular.
Alistair: *valiantly attempts to prepare instant noodles*
Mercutio: *watches with a smirk* Need help?
BiliousKaos: *wanders timidly in, trying his hardest not to set anything on fire*
Alistair: Certainly. I keep bumping into the counter here. Pour the water, would you?
Alistair: It's pathetic. The only thing I missed about living here was the occasional cup of soup.
BiliousKaos: *peeks into the kitchen, and accidentally sets a couch behind him on fire in shock*
Mercutio: *helps* You're pitiful, you know that? *amused*
Alistair: Yes, I am. *pretends to sob* I'm so helpless!
BiliousKaos: *blinks at Alistair*
Alistair: *blinks back, squeaks* Hello?
Mercutio: *starts laughing*
BiliousKaos: May I just ask, are you male or female?
Alistair: *pitches voice slightly higher* It depends on the time of year, really.
BiliousKaos: *goggles, and sets a wooden chair on fire*
BiliousKaos: Oh dear, I really must stop doing that...
Alistair: Yes. I can't get to the fire extinguisher in time.
BiliousKaos: *throws a jug of water at it, since still hasn't worked out extinguishing*
BiliousKaos: What I meant to say is, that's not possible. I'm a god, so I should probably know.
Alistair: Well, it is possible. I've switched twice in the last two months.
Alistair: This one, however, appears to be sticking for a while.
BiliousKaos: So you are female?
Mercutio: Can't you tell? *fondles one of Alistair's 'breasts'*
Alistair: Ow!
Alistair: They're a bit sore right now.
BiliousKaos: Well, most females I've seen have been somewhat less stubbly...
Alistair: *feels face* That shouldn't be happening. I had that nanosurgery done, and it fails now?
Alistair: [no, he didn't in canon, but something has to explain how he managed not to get all fuzzy being stranded in the middle of nowhere]
BiliousKaos: *sits down* I think I have a headache coming on.
BiliousKaos: And I know all about headache.
BiliousKaos: Heeeeey. I'd be able to drink now...
Alistair: I wish I could.
BiliousKaos: Any whiskey around? Or brandy? Or vodka? Or all of them at once?
Alistair: The kitchen usually has all that. I'd mix it for you, but...*gestures at self*
BiliousKaos: .... Of course, ma'am. Here, take a seat. Can't be straining yourself in your condition...I think.
Alistair: *sits down, slowly* Thank you.
BiliousKaos: *goes to start drinking as much alcohol as he can find*
Alistair: *pokes at instant noodles*
Alistair: If I start eating dirt, I'm going to kill myself. Or better yet, the person who did this to me.
BiliousKaos: whyyyydya eat dir?
Alistair: Because I'm pregnant. Odd cravings.
BiliousKaos: thas straaange
Alistair: It's actually quite common.
Alistair: *eats more noodles* This would taste even better with orange sherbet.
Mercutio: *pulls some out of the plothole and hands it to him*
BiliousKaos: can' shay ive ever been pregnan.
Alistair: Thank you, dear. *eats*
Alistair: Be thankful you're not.
BiliousKaos: ish it really that baaad?
Mercutio: *leans on Alistair and naps*
BiliousKaos: ish that the father?
*** Sadako has joined #desperatefans.
Sadako: Konnichi wa, minna-san.
BiliousKaos: konniwha?
Alistair: No. I don't know where he is. *dabs eyes with napkin*
Mercutio: I'm the jealous boyfriend. *smiles helpfully*
BiliousKaos: thassaaaad!
Mercutio: If I get my hands on that bastard, I'll... *growls*
Mercutio: *goes back to napping*
Alistair: He'll come back. When the babies are born.
Alistair: He was ever so beautiful...
Mercutio: Y'know, we should've said, no, you -ate- the father.
Mercutio: Has a nice ring to it.
BiliousKaos: *pats pockets for handkerchief, as is near bawling* you poor thin, having some nasty man take adw... agv... advantage of you like that and then run away.
BiliousKaos: ....babies?
Alistair: Yes! I'll be having four of them.
BiliousKaos: *finds more to drink*
Alistair: At least...*dabs eyes*
BiliousKaos: *and more*
Alistair: Don't worry about me. He'll be back. He promised me.
Mercutio: I'm going to go sleep around, if that's okay with you, dear. *pats Ali's tummy*
BiliousKaos: but he desh.. aben... left you!
Alistair: That's fine. *mock sobbing*
BiliousKaos: *blinks at Mercutio* rashcal!!!!!!
Mercutio: Oh, but she likes me that way. *winks*
*** Mercutio has signed off IRC
Alistair: I just met him, but he cares for me so much...*smiles*
BiliousKaos: you desherve bettererer!
Alistair: I do have better. He'll be back. He went back to his homeland. And me, the poor alien girl, stranded in this place...he'll return.
BiliousKaos: alien?
BiliousKaos: bt you're not green
Alistair: No, but do you know any human female with four breasts?
Alistair: Did you think you had double vision because of the drink?
BiliousKaos: *takes another drink (good thing he's a god)*
Alistair: [hey, why is the former oh god of hangovers drinking?]
BiliousKaos: [Because he is currently free of hangovers, and wants to know what it's like to be drunk]
Alistair: Can you help me up?
Alistair: I'm not sure if you can support me, in your state, but I can't make it back alone.
BiliousKaos: *staggers over and offers an arm, leaning heavily on a bench*
Jehan: *hums, doo...doo doot doo doooo....and overwaters the flowers*
ShrinkingViolets: *splutter*
Alistair: *pulls up on his arm and gets up* I think I can waddle my way to the main room.
Alistair: *forgot cloak*
Jehan: ...........!!!
Jehan: Oh, oh, oh, i'm sorry....oh, good heavens, I'm so sorry... *tries to mop up the water from the soil*
Alistair: *waddles in, looking for a chaise longue*
Sadako: *looks at the flowers over Jehan's shoulder* It looks like a cheerful version of the well...
Alistair: *lies down, ignoring Mulciber* I'm so very tired...
Jehan: *starts, and then blushes and bites his lip* I....I didn't mean to...!
BiliousKaos: *staggers in from kitchen* lookit all the elephants
Sadako: *smiles slightly* Well...they won't absorb all of it, will they?
Alistair: *calls to Jehan* Are you drowning the plants again?
BiliousKaos: *passes out*
Jehan: Oh, but....they'll drow -- .......*blushes dark red* .......I....I didn't mean to..... *ducks his head so Alistair can't see him all red*
Jehan: (the blood of angry meeeeeen)
ShrinkingViolets: *shivering*
Alistair: Remember what I said about the drainage holes?
Jehan: *mops sadly at the flowers some more*
Jehan: .......Well, yes, but -- but....
ShrinkingViolets: *shivershiver*
Jehan: I just keep doing it, and it's more a matter of me learning to stop, and....!
Romy: Violets!
Alistair: You can be trained out of it.
Sadako: You want some help with that?
Alistair: *pats stomach* Ow. Not again.
ShrinkingViolets: Romy??
Romy: Hey, there!
Jehan: ....Er....yes, I know I can.... but...
ShrinkingViolets: Hello, Romy! We've missed you!
Alistair: It's just hard to learn new behavior. I know.
Romy: How are you?
Jehan: *sighs heavily* The poor things....
Alistair: Well, just don't water them again tonight.
Alistair: You seem to use that as a calming technique.
ShrinkingViolets: We're slightly chilly, but otherwise well. How are you?
Romy: I am well!
Jehan: *bites his lip* ....I don't really feel nervous..
Alistair: *puzzled* Did I just hear something?
ShrinkingViolets: We're ever so glad to hear that.
Jehan: ....?
Mulciber: *kisses her forehead*
ShrinkingViolets: Jehan's been sending us for a swim *giggle*
Jehan: *wah guilt ;_;*
Romy: Oh? What do you mean?
Alistair: Well, the flowers seem to like it.
ShrinkingViolets: *giggle* Take a look at our pot. We're drenched!
Jehan: ...I don't know. It can't be healthy...
ShrinkingViolets: *send out tendril to wrap around Jehan's finger*
Jehan: *smiles at the flowers and pets them*
Romy: Oh, I see. Does too much water hurt you? *smiles at Jehan*
Jehan: *smiles awkwardly*
ShrinkingViolets: We get ever so cold. We don't like it too often. But Jehan doesn't mean it. And he reads us poetry, at least.
ShrinkingViolets: Have you two met each other?
Romy: No, we haven't!
ShrinkingViolets: Ohh!!! You must!! Jehan, this is Romy. She reads me sonnets. Shakespeare. Romy, this is Jehan. He reads me his own poems, and he's so clever at them.
Alistair: *smiles at Sadako* I haven't met you before.
Jehan: *turns* Oh -- oh, I'm so sorry! It's rude of me. Hallo! I'm Je -- yes. Haha.
Romy: *smiles and offers her hand* Good to meet you!
Jehan: *takes her hand and laughs embarrassedly* Yes, it's lovely to meet you.
ShrinkingViolets: *beamyrustle*
Jehan: *pets the flowers*
Romy: I'd like to hear some of your poetry, sometime, if that's all right.
ShrinkingViolets: Please read us some, Jehan!
Sadako: *looks at Alistair* I tend to keep away, I'm...dangerous.
Alistair: Dangerous, how? You don't look dangerous to me.
Sadako: I'm a killer. With tapes. I'm much, much more than I seem.
Alistair: *raises eyebrows* Oh. You.
Jehan: Oh -- um..... *blushes* Ummm..... well, okay.... er, haha, okay... *recites a poem quietly*
Sadako: Yes. *sighs*
ShrinkingViolets: *beamrustlehappy*
Alistair: You will have to try to kill me another day, I'm afraid.
Romy: *grins* That was lovely!!
Jehan: Ha...haha...*blushes* Thank you..!
Alistair: It's not just me I have to worry about now.
ShrinkingViolets: Isn't he clever!
Romy: Quite!
Sadako: I'm not going to try to kill you. You haven't watched the tape and I'm trying to avoid accidentally showing it in here again.
Jehan: *laughs embarrassedly* .....thank you both...it's...quite flattering.
Alistair: *nods, or as much as can when lying reclined*
ShrinkingViolets: *giggle*
Sadako: So...well...I'm afraid I don't know who you are...sorry.
Romy: Your poetry is quite lovely!
Alistair: Oh. I'm a friend of Admiral Harrington's.
Jehan: *smiles awkwardly* Oh...thank you. It's -- well, if needs more work, really, but... thank you.
Sadako: ...who?
ShrinkingViolets: We think it's very lovely! We'd never be ablet o write something like that.
Alistair: Tall lady. She saw your tape before I showed up here.
Jehan: *laughs* Oh, I'm certain you could! All one has to do is love something very much....and then think, just think...and feelings pour out.
ShrinkingViolets: Really? It's that easy?
Sadako: Oh, right. Sorry. I tend not to keep track of who watches it unless they're...well...odd.
Jehan: Well, yes, I suppose! ....I mean, there's quite a bit of polishing afterwards... but really...all poetry is is feelings.
Alistair: That's all right.
ShrinkingViolets: Someone we love very much....
Jehan: *smiles* yes! Someone or something. Anything you feel strongly for.
Sadako: I kind of have to. Professional detatchment and all that.
Alistair: I completely understand that. We naval officers have to do a bit of that too.
ShrinkingViolets: We...*rustle* we think we love you very much. Could we write something for you?
Jehan: ....*blushes darkly* I love you too. ...If you like... I would be so flattered. No one's ever written me poetry before..
Sadako: It's not fair to anybody. It's draining, it's...painful at times, and it's unfair...
ShrinkingViolets: It wouldn't be very good, but we'd very much like to. *rustlebeamrustle and wrap tendril tighter around fingers*
Alistair: *nods* I wish I could help you.
Jehan: It would be lovely! As long as it's honest, it's lovely. *smiles and pets the flowers*
Sadako: So...is it normal to feel like this? I mean, if you know...
Alistair: Yes, it is, completely normal.
ShrinkingViolets: Well, we'll try to make you very proud of us *beam*
Sadako: *sighs*
Alistair: I assume that you have to do this thing with the tape. It's your job.
Jehan: I'm already terribly proud of you! There's no need to worry about that. *smiles*
Alistair: Or at least you could call it that. But you don't want to.
Sadako: Pretty much.
ShrinkingViolets: *beamblushhappyrustle*
Romy: *grins at the Violets and Jehan* I should go. Good night to you all.
Jehan: ...oh, good night....!
Jehan: It was lovely meeting you.
Alistair: I wish I didn't have to kill people either. But I do.
Sadako: I mean, I used to, but now...I'm so unsure of myself. I'm sure it's not the right thing to do...but...*sigh*
ShrinkingViolets: Good night, Romy!! *reach tendril to hand* Thank you for visiting!
Alistair: You can't stop yourself?
Romy: *nods* It was! And I shall try to visit you again, soon.
Sadako: That and it's my destiny. I can't stop.
Alistair: I wish I had a solution for you. I'm working on that for me.
Alistair: As long as I stay here, I don't have to command anyone to die.
Sadako: Hmmm...maybe I could get that kind of loophole. *smiles*
Alistair: Well, think about it.
Alistair: *smiles*
Sadako: Hmmm...have you ever played Quarters?
Alistair: I can't say that I have.
Alistair: I'm in no condition to play anything strenuous, though.
Sadako: It pretty much is spinning quarters and shooting it at each other's knuckles...
Alistair: I can't say that I've ever seen a quarter. But I get your idea.
ShrinkingViolets: Ooops, we fell asleep, we think....
ShrinkingViolets: I think all that poetry has made us sleepy...
Sadako: *smiles* All I know is that I saw a group playing it one day when I was...working.
Jehan: *smiles* That's all right! Sleep if you need it.
Alistair: It sounds a bit painful.
ShrinkingViolets: *fall asleep, and tendrils slip from Jehan's fingers*
Alistair: Not like I'm a stranger to pain.
Alistair: *shifts a bit on the couch*
Jehan: *smiles and pets the flowers gently, and doesn't bother them*
ShrinkingViolets: *happysleepingrustle*
Sadako: Pain is...normal. Very normal. Just like death.
Alistair: *nods* Doesn't mean I wish to seek any of them out.
Sadako: *sighs*
Alistair: *tries to get up, and fails*
Alistair: *muttering* I hadn't intended to be stuck out here like this all night.
SusanStoHelit: *wanders in, notices Alistair and raises an eyebrow*
SusanStoHelit: You've changed.
Alistair: Only temporarily, Miss Susan. It's a long story.
SusanStoHelit: Well, no matter what the length of the story, you seem somewhat stuck.
Alistair: Yes. I just need your help to get up and move around a bit.
SusanStoHelit: *sighs, and helps him up, since she's in a good mood*
Alistair: Thank you. I'll try to return the favor someday.
Alistair: *in a low voice* Although I don't think you're one for the elaborate practical joke.
Alistair: *heads for closet* My regular outfit's in there.
SusanStoHelit: No, last I checked, men didn't tend to rapidly pick up advanced cases of pregnancy.
Alistair: Nope. Thank goodness.
Alistair: This wasn't the smartest joke I've ever done.
Alistair: But I managed to fool one guy, at least.
SusanStoHelit: Let me get my coffee, and then you can explain.
Alistair: No problem.
SusanStoHelit: *heads to kitchen to make coffee*
Alistair: *gets clothes out of closet, but does not change yet*
Alistair: *follows Susan into kitchen* There's where I left that damn cloak.
SusanStoHelit: Oh, that's yours? I was wondering what that was.
Alistair: Another prop.
SusanStoHelit: *finishes making coffee* You seem to have thought it out well, at least.
SusanStoHelit: It looks convincing enough.
Alistair: It was damn tricky, though, getting the timing of the thing off.
Alistair: And then it turns out the guy I was pranking had already figured it was a joke, until I took it a bit too far and confused him again.
SusanStoHelit: *leads back into main room to sit on a nice, sensible chair*
Alistair: *puts on cloak and follows her*
Alistair: I'm not going to sit down again until I get all this off.
Alistair: Which will be soon. I don't know how anyone can stand wearing this stretch velvet crap.
SusanStoHelit: Why don't you change now?
Alistair: *looks around* Well, there's nobody left in here to prank.
Alistair: *heads for closet*
SusanStoHelit: [The closet? Right]
Alistair: [It's a walkin. Next to the plot hole. I know.]
Alistair: *comes back, holding a large gym bag, and wearing ordinary civilian T-shirt and shorts*
Alistair: I'd say I'd never do that again, but I had entirely too much fun doing it.
SusanStoHelit: That definitely suits you better.
Alistair: I'd agree on that.
Alistair: Well, anyway, you said you wanted to hear the story.
SusanStoHelit: Yes, please enlighten me.
Alistair: Last night, this one guy was harassing the Admiral and Colonel LaFollet, and I decided to get him back.
Alistair: I told him that Honor was married to the five of us, you know, her junior officers, and they all played along with me.
Alistair: I just did that so Andrew wouldn't kill the guy.
SusanStoHelit: *murmurs* Polygamy. One of the most interesting arrangements humans have invented.
Alistair: He's so darn uptight sometimes, it's ridiculous. Anyway. We took it a bit too far and I ended up playing a submissive sort, and that guy confused us with aliens and said he thought I was the one to bear the children.
Alistair: The correct word for multiple men, I think, is polyandry, but I get the idea.
Alistair: He promised to leave us alone.
SusanStoHelit: *amused look* I stand corrected.
Alistair: *nods and shrugs* But I saw him in here tonight when I came down to get a bit to eat, and remembered some of the odd stuff I saw in that closet, and I got this plan.
Alistair: Never thought hanging around stage crew in high school would come in handy.
Alistair: ...I meant, being in it. My sister was the actor.
SusanStoHelit: Oh. Thespians.
Alistair: I'm not much of one.
SusanStoHelit: Even so.
SusanStoHelit: Well, an interesting ruse, at least. And I pity the poor fellow who was taken in.
Alistair: So do I, because when he sees me like I normally am, he's going to be confused.
SusanStoHelit: You mean you can't have already given birth? *amused smile*
Alistair: That's right, I hadn't told him how soon it would be.
Alistair: You do have a sense of humor, Miss Susan.
Alistair: Speaking of alien lands and ways, I was supposed to approach you about testing a way for us to go back home.
SusanStoHelit: You thought I didn't?
Alistair: Well, that night, I didn't, but it may have just have been Chauvelin getting on your nerves.
Alistair: He gets on mine.
SusanStoHelit: I'd had too many coffees interrupted. It doesn't show anyone's best side. Although many say that this is my best side.
Alistair: You're fine now.
SusanStoHelit: Where is your home?
Alistair: The Star Kingdom of Manticore, and I have no idea where it is in relation to this place, or even when.
SusanStoHelit: Do you have a certain person I could try to find? I cannot reach all places, and it's hard to find places so vaguely without a focus.
Alistair: Hmm.
Alistair: If I tell you to find anyone in the Navy, who knows where they are or if they even still are?
Alistair: [he's going to ask you to find a fanon character. as everything he's canonically tied to is...here]
Alistair: My sister shouldn't have gone far. I lived...live with her.
SusanStoHelit: What's her name?
Alistair: Fenella.
SusanStoHelit: Just Fenella?
Alistair: Fenella Sumire McKeon.
Alistair: Do you need her various job titles as well?
Alistair: *laughs*
SusanStoHelit: I'll look her up. She might not be in Grandfather's jurisdiction, though.
Alistair: Oh, thank you.
SusanStoHelit: It may take time, though, so I'd thank you not to hassle me about it.
Alistair: I won't bother you about it.
Alistair: When you get an answer, you'll come to me.
Alistair: *takes memo pad out of pocket and makes note in calendar program*
SusanStoHelit: *raises an eyebrow*
Alistair: I'm just noting when I talked to you for the record.
Alistair: You seem reliable, that's all. You have this absolute aura of reliability.
SusanSH: If you must...
Alistair: If you need me to erase the record, I will. It's mostly for my purposes. My memory's gone to pieces here.
SusanStoHelit: My grandfather would be most curious about that. Of course you can keep the record. I was just surprised.
Alistair: Oh, the device?
SusanStoHelit: No, about your memory loss. He has trouble that way.
Alistair: It's probably related to depression and lack of sleep.
SusanStoHelit: Well, I can't say he's ever slept...
Alistair: That may be his issue. *smiles*
SusanStoHelit: Well, it rather comes with who he is.
SusanStoHelit: Anyway, I must go. I'll have a look for your sister.
Alistair: *gathers vast amount of stuff and walks out*