(no subject)
In which Alistair has a longish conversation with Armand about life in general. Chat was done in lieu of a very long LJ thread.
Alistair: I'm sorry that I haven't seen him. Heck, he doesn't even know I'm staying in the house.
Alistair: *looks at Armand* And you do look clean. You look great, in fact.
Alistair: I don't know how you can handle those tubs. I know you're only supposed to sit in it, but your time, the people were so small...
Armand: *sadly* I know. It feels good to be clean, and as you can see Chauvelin also left without doing a single menacing thing.
Armand: *thinks about tubs* There must be a bigger one here somewhere. Percy is not small.
Alistair: He was here? I must have been asleep. I'm glad everything went well for you.
Alistair: I'm just whining. I'll deal with the plumbing issue for the meantime.
Alistair: You know how I complain about everything, don't you?
Armand: It was very, very late when he came by. *nods very solemnly* He has given me a lot to think over. I told him about the baby.
Armand: *smiles* You do. Plumbing is no problem. Honest.
Alistair: You did? What was his reaction?
Armand: For all the trouble he wished to cause, that never entered his mind. He was horrified. *sighs* I wish you'd known him the way he was when I was a child.
Alistair: What was he like then?
Armand: Oh, he was always very dour, very serious, but not so fanatical. People mattered. We mattered. He changed so much when the revoluation happened.
Alistair: Things like that do happen, though. Do you know how he was affected by the policies of the previous regime? Or by the aristocracy, for that matter?
Armand: *slowly* I think he was is titled actually. Higher ranked than Percy, though French, of course.
Alistair: *blinks* That doesn't make any sense then....
Armand: There were plenty of aristocrats who sided with the Republic. *thinks* Phillipe Egalitie was the Duke of Orleans before the revolution.
Alistair: I'll never pretend to understand all that. I'm sorry.
Armand: He was one the people who voted to execute the king.
Armand: Manticore has a queen yes?
Alistair: Yes, it does.
Alistair: And even though some of our aristocrats dislike her, I don't think any of them would execute her. She does more to protect the common person than they do!
Armand: I wasn't criticizing your queen, Alistair. I was looking for an example. She has cousins, does she?
Alistair: Yes, she does. One of Honor's best friends, in fact.
Alistair: Only one, though, at least as first cousins go. And said cousin is also a relative of Paul's.
Alistair: ...I'm trying to remember when I found that out. It was odd.
Armand: This man voting for the execution is like that cousin voting to kill your queen. The conflict divided families, not just classes.
Alistair: Oh, my.
Armand: He was much older than we, so I know nothing about Chauvelin's family. Perhaps there was a break. *sighs* Are you coping well with our backwardness, Alistair?
Alistair: It's not backward. It happens all the time. It just hasn't happened in the Star Kingdom...yet.
Armand: And I hope it doesn't. *sighs and leans back*
Alistair: So do I.
Alistair: Even though, I admit it, I haven't had the best experiences with the aristocracy at all.
Alistair: And, no, the Admiral doesn't count.
Armand: She was elevated, yes? *thinks about what Feanor told him this morning*
Armand: Did you know I'm apparently elvish nobility now?
Alistair: Yes, she was. *blinks* What?
Alistair: But...unless you're hiding something from me...you're not Elven at all.
Armand: Feanor says his adoption is formal. I don't particularly want to be in line for a throne, even with seven brothers ahead of me.
Alistair: *snorting laugh* You didn't exactly tell Feanor what I told you, did you?
Alistair: Well, that kind of prevents me from making it official on my end, now, I suppose.
Armand: I didn't. I didn't have a chance. I now have adoptive fathers, though I imagine legitimacy in your Star Kingdom would involve more paperwork. I don't want to inherit anything from you, dear Alistair.
Armand: *have two adoptive
Alistair: There isn't much to inherit from me anyway. The things you need to have, you need me alive for.
Alistair: I just don't expect to have an heir genetically related to me, that's all.
Alistair: Other than my sister; should I rephrase that? I do not expect to have children.
Armand: You don't? *is very surprised*
Alistair: Not if I remain here, and probably when I go back. I just can't find anyone who can put up with my long absences, and when I do, it's my being present that's the problem.
Armand: *small voice* What about Fleur?
Alistair: I'll have to see. It's far too soon to assume.
Armand: *nods* I want children very badly. *pales slightly* I suppose there won't be any this year though.
Alistair: I can't tell you if things will work out, even though I would like to tell you that, because I'm not sure.
Armand: I am not even sure I can think of getting married right now.
Alistair: You've spoken with Jeanne recently, haven't you?
Armand: *quietly* Once. Tuesday I think. She knows what happened.
Alistair: What did she say? Did she...discourage you?
Armand: *smiles* She did not. She wants to give Rosier a piece of her mind. The problem is not with Jeanne.
Alistair: [oh, and you left off with talking about Armand getting married to Jeanne and why he can't think about it]
Armand: *sighs* How can I think about marriage right now?
Alistair: The same way I can, I suppose; by crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
Armand: *puts his face in his hands* There are some things I cannot think about now without panicking a little.
Alistair: *winces* I'm sorry. I forgot. I wish I could find someone to talk to you about it, but the person I'm thinking of isn't here and hasn't been here.
Armand: Every day is a little better, but this thing is so-- How can I-- if only Rosier hadn't made me drink that potion.
Alistair: *nods* I don't want to put words in your head, but....
Armand: Go on, what?
Alistair: You're thinking you'd be no kind of man for a woman if you enjoyed it--even under unconscious action--with a man.
Armand: *flushes* It's not just that, Alistair. That feeling-- you know that feeling-- it's linked with the terror. Right now, I can't imagine one without the other.
Alistair: I really wish that there was a male psychologist here.
Alistair: I listen. But I am not so good with the advice. Especially that kind of advice.
Armand: I don't want men. I never have. I don't think particularly bad of men who do, but it's not me.
Armand: *sighs*
Alistair: That's not quite what I meant. You just feel uncomfortable talking about this to women. I've noticed.
Armand: True. I'm not.
Armand: What did you mean?
Alistair: I meant that the only people I know on a personal level who have gone through anything similar are women.
Alistair: And if I had any one of them here to talk to you--which I don't--it wouldn't do any good.
Armand: I imagine many male victims never say anything.
Alistair: Some of them do. In my time, at least.
Alistair: I just seem to know more women.
Armand: I would not have, even if Rosier went unpunished for it, if I had any choice.
Alistair: I know. And you know what? Even with me trying to fix it...what you're feeling is typical. It's not the way you normally are, but it's completely understandable.
Armand: Are you sure?
Alistair: Not personally, no, but I've heard about it.
Armand: I'm worried it will never go away.
Alistair: I wish I could tell you how long it will take.
Armand: Can you-- no, that is not your burden... *smiles softly*
Alistair: *small smile* I help as much as I can. Even when I don't. If I stick my foot in my mouth again, let me know, all right?
Armand: When did you do that?
Alistair: Not tonight. Yet. I keep fearing that I will.
Armand: You won't.
Alistair: I'll know when you throw something at me, screaming for me to quit you forever. *laughs*
Armand: *laughs too*
Alistair: At least you told me a little bit about what you were feeling.
Armand: I do trust you. I still am afraid of losing your good opinion.
Alistair: It would take much, much, much more than this for me to ever lose that.
Armand: *bites lips* Are you certain?
Alistair: *smiles* Yes. I'd swear to it.
Armand: You're too good to me.
Alistair: It's only what you deserve. I mean it.
Armand: I won't ever forget this.
Alistair: *flushes a small bit* I try not to lie.
Armand: Did I say you did? *frowns in puzzlement*
Alistair: No. It's just that you don't...I think we both have problems believing that people love us as much as they do.
Armand: Ah. That may be true.
Alistair: I can, in all honesty, say that gets better.
Alistair: I've just become a complete wreck after coming here.
Armand: Do you still want to go home?
Alistair: Yes. I know someday that feeling will fade entirely. After all, some of my ancestors left Old Earth, knowing that there was no chance of return, and a possible chance of not arriving.
Alistair: Actually, not entirely...I'll always miss my family. I'll feel guilty about not doing my duty for my nation, and that may fade. I just have to become a new person, as a colonist here in this new land.
Armand: Have you given up then?
Alistair: *puts head down, looks at feet* Do you need me to?
Armand: I want you to be happy.
Alistair: Something I'm failing at these days in your eyes, I take it.
Armand: You look so worried. It was nice when we went riding or even that night we all slept at Fleur's. I feel like I'm keeping you prisoner.
Alistair: I told you already--if I did not want to be here, I'd be gone.
Alistair: And I went out yesterday and talked to Scotty, anyway.
Armand: *smiles* You did? Good. How is Scotty?
Alistair: He's fine.
Alistair: He's a bit lonely, though.
Armand: Bel hasn't been around?
Alistair: I talked to it last week, but Scotty wasn't there. I have no idea how long it's been since they've seen each other.
Armand: [ http://www.livejournal.com/community/desperatefans/401105.html ]
Armand: [armand's resp. is going to be showing the note to alistair]
Armand: Maybe Bel has been worried too.
Alistair: *reads note* I told you he cared for you!
Armand: *sniffing* I didn't know. So much bad has happened between us.
Alistair: *absently* I'm sure it has, it said so...it has no clue about what's going on...
Alistair: *smiles* And now you do.
Armand: *wiping at tears with his shirtsleeve* I wish I could say how much this means to me.
Alistair: You're showing it, and that's important.
Armand: Am I?
Alistair: You're crying, and that's all the words I need.
Armand: *smiles and ducks his head* You may have noticed I cry... easily.
Alistair: Whenever you feel a strong emotion, yes, which is what I mean.
Armand: I do love you, you know.
Alistair: I know. .....I love you, too. Possibly more than you'll ever realize.
Armand: I try.
Alistair: That's all I can ask.
Armand: Alistair, can you sit on the bed a moment please?
Alistair: Certainly. *sits on bed*
Armand: *takes Alistair's hand* I want you to know that I never want you to put me before looking after yourself. *looks into his eyes* I know self-less people, caring people. But I won't have that. Understand?
Alistair: *nods, slowly* I do. But if that's what you want...it's hard to train it out of me. My ship comes first...even when I don't have one.
Armand: In this I am at most family, not your crew. You have no "duty" to me. You won't be court-martialed for failing me.
Alistair: *winks* Which is why I'm agreeing with you this time! I only pointed out that it will be difficult.
Armand: *since Alistair is now close enough hugs him*
Alistair: *hugs back, as tight as possible*
Armand: Thank you so much.
Alistair: You're welcome.
Armand: *finally lets go and sits back* *digs another improbable thing out from under his pillow -- a hairbrush!* Do you mind if I work on getting the knots out of my hair while we talk?
Alistair: No problem. I should probably watch. See how much maintenance I'll have to do.
Armand: *loosens his mostly dry hair hair again and starts brushing through it, watching the ends* I wonder if you haven't the right idea, with your short hair.
Alistair: *laughs* Well, it is easier to care for, but the question is...does it look better or not?
Alistair: I've been spending so much time around here lately that I keep thinking I look wrong.
Armand: You look like a Roman.
Alistair: Is that good, or not?
Armand: *laughs* It's very martial looking, I mean.
Alistair: That it is. The best thing I could get without getting it cut so close the Skipper would have been able to accuse me of stealing her old haircut.
Armand: Shorter hair is easier to take care of. *emphasizes this by shaking his back over his shoulder to pull to the other side and keep brushing* But most of the people I knew with short hair had either been recently ill or wore wigs a lot.
Alistair: Don't cut yours, Armand. You'll give off the wrong idea.
Armand: I won't. I'm used to it long. *pauses staring at the hair* oh. *plucks one out and shows it to Alistair* *a single silvery white hair* I'm not old enough for that.
Alistair: Well, with all you've been through, I'm not surprised.
Alistair: It's just one, though. *points to own head* When it starts looking like this, get worried.
Armand: But isn't that how it starts? With just one? *squints to see if there are others*
Alistair: Do you need me to help hunt?
Armand: Could you?
Alistair: Of course. Now how do I position myself here so I can peek at the top of your head and adeptly pluck the offenders out?
Armand: *sits up a bit straighter and bows his head toward Alistair so Alistair can see his crown*
Alistair: Ah. There you go. *peeks, finds-lo!-another one, and plucks it* There! Another faded piece!
Alistair: Did that hurt?
Armand: No. *glances up at him* Are there more?
Alistair: Well, I guess I lied. You have two. You'll be looking like me in no time.
Alistair: *looks* I don't see any more.
Armand: *sighs in relief* Good. Maybe that's the end of it.
Alistair: I'd ask you to do the same for me, but I think that would be tedious, and would make a great deal of my hair go missing.
Armand: You look very respectable with your silver, Alistair.
Alistair: Thank you. It's why I've kept it. It's an indication, to anyone from my time at least, of my actual age. More or less.
Alistair: The Graysons thought our ships were crewed by teenagers when we first negotiated with them.
Armand: You don't look your actual age at all.
Alistair: I know. Thankfully.
Armand: I doubt I'll liveto be as old as you.
Alistair: I'm not that old....
Armand: People don't live to be that old often where I'm from.
Alistair: I keep wanting to take you back with me, if I go back, but that may not be good for you.
Armand: I won't go anywhere without Jeanne unless it were possible to come back.
Alistair: Which is why I don't think I can possibly ask you.
Armand: *nods* I would like to see ships that sail through space.
Alistair: I know. If I can find a way...
Armand: *thinks* I talked to Susan today, and completely forgot to ask her about Binky.
Alistair: Well, if you see her again, ask her. I'm a bit shy, if you haven't noticed.
Armand: You are?
Alistair: Usually!
Armand: Ah. That doesn't do a body much good here.
Alistair: I'm trying to talk to more people. You help.
Armand: I try. I hope it gets easier for you though.
Alistair: I talked to Scotty about that last night. I think that I need to change myself a bit to fit in here.
Armand: *smiles* Ihate seeing you tense and unhappy all the time.
Alistair: *shrugs* I've had cause.
Alistair: But I'll be better soon.
Alistair: The problem is I don't know if anyone will be able to stand me after that. *laughs* I'm not the man they think I am at home, oh no....
Armand: *frowns* Not stand you?
Alistair: I can be obnoxious, rude, crude, irritating...
Alistair: I just try not to, you see.
Armand: *raises an eyebrow* And this matters?
Alistair: It may. *yawns*
Alistair: But it probably won't. I'm not making much sense.
Armand: I don't think so. You are tired?
Alistair: Not tired at all. *yawns extremely*
Armand: You liar!
Alistair: *laughs* All right, I suppose I am.
Armand: You have a room now right? You're not sleeping in a chair in the library are you?
Alistair: I've had a room for a while.
Alistair: I'd be a bit more stiff if I was sleeping in a chair all night.
Armand: I'm just making sure.
Alistair: I know.
Alistair: And I should probably be off to it.
Armand: *hugs him again* Rest well.
Alistair: *hugs* I will. Will you need me straight away in the morning?
Armand: I don't think so. I should sleep in one of these days.
Alistair: Yes. You should. Tomorrow. Although I don't know if I can prevent people from coming to see you.
Armand: *solemn face* I'll try to sleep deeply so they can't wake me.
Alistair: And if you can't, fake it! *grins*
Armand: It depends who it is. *smiles*
Alistair: Well, yes, but in general.
Armand: I promise I shall not be awake to everyone.
Alistair: *snort* We'll see how long that lasts. Good night.
Armand: Goodnight.
Alistair: I'm sorry that I haven't seen him. Heck, he doesn't even know I'm staying in the house.
Alistair: *looks at Armand* And you do look clean. You look great, in fact.
Alistair: I don't know how you can handle those tubs. I know you're only supposed to sit in it, but your time, the people were so small...
Armand: *sadly* I know. It feels good to be clean, and as you can see Chauvelin also left without doing a single menacing thing.
Armand: *thinks about tubs* There must be a bigger one here somewhere. Percy is not small.
Alistair: He was here? I must have been asleep. I'm glad everything went well for you.
Alistair: I'm just whining. I'll deal with the plumbing issue for the meantime.
Alistair: You know how I complain about everything, don't you?
Armand: It was very, very late when he came by. *nods very solemnly* He has given me a lot to think over. I told him about the baby.
Armand: *smiles* You do. Plumbing is no problem. Honest.
Alistair: You did? What was his reaction?
Armand: For all the trouble he wished to cause, that never entered his mind. He was horrified. *sighs* I wish you'd known him the way he was when I was a child.
Alistair: What was he like then?
Armand: Oh, he was always very dour, very serious, but not so fanatical. People mattered. We mattered. He changed so much when the revoluation happened.
Alistair: Things like that do happen, though. Do you know how he was affected by the policies of the previous regime? Or by the aristocracy, for that matter?
Armand: *slowly* I think he was is titled actually. Higher ranked than Percy, though French, of course.
Alistair: *blinks* That doesn't make any sense then....
Armand: There were plenty of aristocrats who sided with the Republic. *thinks* Phillipe Egalitie was the Duke of Orleans before the revolution.
Alistair: I'll never pretend to understand all that. I'm sorry.
Armand: He was one the people who voted to execute the king.
Armand: Manticore has a queen yes?
Alistair: Yes, it does.
Alistair: And even though some of our aristocrats dislike her, I don't think any of them would execute her. She does more to protect the common person than they do!
Armand: I wasn't criticizing your queen, Alistair. I was looking for an example. She has cousins, does she?
Alistair: Yes, she does. One of Honor's best friends, in fact.
Alistair: Only one, though, at least as first cousins go. And said cousin is also a relative of Paul's.
Alistair: ...I'm trying to remember when I found that out. It was odd.
Armand: This man voting for the execution is like that cousin voting to kill your queen. The conflict divided families, not just classes.
Alistair: Oh, my.
Armand: He was much older than we, so I know nothing about Chauvelin's family. Perhaps there was a break. *sighs* Are you coping well with our backwardness, Alistair?
Alistair: It's not backward. It happens all the time. It just hasn't happened in the Star Kingdom...yet.
Armand: And I hope it doesn't. *sighs and leans back*
Alistair: So do I.
Alistair: Even though, I admit it, I haven't had the best experiences with the aristocracy at all.
Alistair: And, no, the Admiral doesn't count.
Armand: She was elevated, yes? *thinks about what Feanor told him this morning*
Armand: Did you know I'm apparently elvish nobility now?
Alistair: Yes, she was. *blinks* What?
Alistair: But...unless you're hiding something from me...you're not Elven at all.
Armand: Feanor says his adoption is formal. I don't particularly want to be in line for a throne, even with seven brothers ahead of me.
Alistair: *snorting laugh* You didn't exactly tell Feanor what I told you, did you?
Alistair: Well, that kind of prevents me from making it official on my end, now, I suppose.
Armand: I didn't. I didn't have a chance. I now have adoptive fathers, though I imagine legitimacy in your Star Kingdom would involve more paperwork. I don't want to inherit anything from you, dear Alistair.
Armand: *have two adoptive
Alistair: There isn't much to inherit from me anyway. The things you need to have, you need me alive for.
Alistair: I just don't expect to have an heir genetically related to me, that's all.
Alistair: Other than my sister; should I rephrase that? I do not expect to have children.
Armand: You don't? *is very surprised*
Alistair: Not if I remain here, and probably when I go back. I just can't find anyone who can put up with my long absences, and when I do, it's my being present that's the problem.
Armand: *small voice* What about Fleur?
Alistair: I'll have to see. It's far too soon to assume.
Armand: *nods* I want children very badly. *pales slightly* I suppose there won't be any this year though.
Alistair: I can't tell you if things will work out, even though I would like to tell you that, because I'm not sure.
Armand: I am not even sure I can think of getting married right now.
Alistair: You've spoken with Jeanne recently, haven't you?
Armand: *quietly* Once. Tuesday I think. She knows what happened.
Alistair: What did she say? Did she...discourage you?
Armand: *smiles* She did not. She wants to give Rosier a piece of her mind. The problem is not with Jeanne.
Alistair: [oh, and you left off with talking about Armand getting married to Jeanne and why he can't think about it]
Armand: *sighs* How can I think about marriage right now?
Alistair: The same way I can, I suppose; by crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.
Armand: *puts his face in his hands* There are some things I cannot think about now without panicking a little.
Alistair: *winces* I'm sorry. I forgot. I wish I could find someone to talk to you about it, but the person I'm thinking of isn't here and hasn't been here.
Armand: Every day is a little better, but this thing is so-- How can I-- if only Rosier hadn't made me drink that potion.
Alistair: *nods* I don't want to put words in your head, but....
Armand: Go on, what?
Alistair: You're thinking you'd be no kind of man for a woman if you enjoyed it--even under unconscious action--with a man.
Armand: *flushes* It's not just that, Alistair. That feeling-- you know that feeling-- it's linked with the terror. Right now, I can't imagine one without the other.
Alistair: I really wish that there was a male psychologist here.
Alistair: I listen. But I am not so good with the advice. Especially that kind of advice.
Armand: I don't want men. I never have. I don't think particularly bad of men who do, but it's not me.
Armand: *sighs*
Alistair: That's not quite what I meant. You just feel uncomfortable talking about this to women. I've noticed.
Armand: True. I'm not.
Armand: What did you mean?
Alistair: I meant that the only people I know on a personal level who have gone through anything similar are women.
Alistair: And if I had any one of them here to talk to you--which I don't--it wouldn't do any good.
Armand: I imagine many male victims never say anything.
Alistair: Some of them do. In my time, at least.
Alistair: I just seem to know more women.
Armand: I would not have, even if Rosier went unpunished for it, if I had any choice.
Alistair: I know. And you know what? Even with me trying to fix it...what you're feeling is typical. It's not the way you normally are, but it's completely understandable.
Armand: Are you sure?
Alistair: Not personally, no, but I've heard about it.
Armand: I'm worried it will never go away.
Alistair: I wish I could tell you how long it will take.
Armand: Can you-- no, that is not your burden... *smiles softly*
Alistair: *small smile* I help as much as I can. Even when I don't. If I stick my foot in my mouth again, let me know, all right?
Armand: When did you do that?
Alistair: Not tonight. Yet. I keep fearing that I will.
Armand: You won't.
Alistair: I'll know when you throw something at me, screaming for me to quit you forever. *laughs*
Armand: *laughs too*
Alistair: At least you told me a little bit about what you were feeling.
Armand: I do trust you. I still am afraid of losing your good opinion.
Alistair: It would take much, much, much more than this for me to ever lose that.
Armand: *bites lips* Are you certain?
Alistair: *smiles* Yes. I'd swear to it.
Armand: You're too good to me.
Alistair: It's only what you deserve. I mean it.
Armand: I won't ever forget this.
Alistair: *flushes a small bit* I try not to lie.
Armand: Did I say you did? *frowns in puzzlement*
Alistair: No. It's just that you don't...I think we both have problems believing that people love us as much as they do.
Armand: Ah. That may be true.
Alistair: I can, in all honesty, say that gets better.
Alistair: I've just become a complete wreck after coming here.
Armand: Do you still want to go home?
Alistair: Yes. I know someday that feeling will fade entirely. After all, some of my ancestors left Old Earth, knowing that there was no chance of return, and a possible chance of not arriving.
Alistair: Actually, not entirely...I'll always miss my family. I'll feel guilty about not doing my duty for my nation, and that may fade. I just have to become a new person, as a colonist here in this new land.
Armand: Have you given up then?
Alistair: *puts head down, looks at feet* Do you need me to?
Armand: I want you to be happy.
Alistair: Something I'm failing at these days in your eyes, I take it.
Armand: You look so worried. It was nice when we went riding or even that night we all slept at Fleur's. I feel like I'm keeping you prisoner.
Alistair: I told you already--if I did not want to be here, I'd be gone.
Alistair: And I went out yesterday and talked to Scotty, anyway.
Armand: *smiles* You did? Good. How is Scotty?
Alistair: He's fine.
Alistair: He's a bit lonely, though.
Armand: Bel hasn't been around?
Alistair: I talked to it last week, but Scotty wasn't there. I have no idea how long it's been since they've seen each other.
Armand: [ http://www.livejournal.com/community/desperatefans/401105.html ]
Armand: [armand's resp. is going to be showing the note to alistair]
Armand: Maybe Bel has been worried too.
Alistair: *reads note* I told you he cared for you!
Armand: *sniffing* I didn't know. So much bad has happened between us.
Alistair: *absently* I'm sure it has, it said so...it has no clue about what's going on...
Alistair: *smiles* And now you do.
Armand: *wiping at tears with his shirtsleeve* I wish I could say how much this means to me.
Alistair: You're showing it, and that's important.
Armand: Am I?
Alistair: You're crying, and that's all the words I need.
Armand: *smiles and ducks his head* You may have noticed I cry... easily.
Alistair: Whenever you feel a strong emotion, yes, which is what I mean.
Armand: I do love you, you know.
Alistair: I know. .....I love you, too. Possibly more than you'll ever realize.
Armand: I try.
Alistair: That's all I can ask.
Armand: Alistair, can you sit on the bed a moment please?
Alistair: Certainly. *sits on bed*
Armand: *takes Alistair's hand* I want you to know that I never want you to put me before looking after yourself. *looks into his eyes* I know self-less people, caring people. But I won't have that. Understand?
Alistair: *nods, slowly* I do. But if that's what you want...it's hard to train it out of me. My ship comes first...even when I don't have one.
Armand: In this I am at most family, not your crew. You have no "duty" to me. You won't be court-martialed for failing me.
Alistair: *winks* Which is why I'm agreeing with you this time! I only pointed out that it will be difficult.
Armand: *since Alistair is now close enough hugs him*
Alistair: *hugs back, as tight as possible*
Armand: Thank you so much.
Alistair: You're welcome.
Armand: *finally lets go and sits back* *digs another improbable thing out from under his pillow -- a hairbrush!* Do you mind if I work on getting the knots out of my hair while we talk?
Alistair: No problem. I should probably watch. See how much maintenance I'll have to do.
Armand: *loosens his mostly dry hair hair again and starts brushing through it, watching the ends* I wonder if you haven't the right idea, with your short hair.
Alistair: *laughs* Well, it is easier to care for, but the question is...does it look better or not?
Alistair: I've been spending so much time around here lately that I keep thinking I look wrong.
Armand: You look like a Roman.
Alistair: Is that good, or not?
Armand: *laughs* It's very martial looking, I mean.
Alistair: That it is. The best thing I could get without getting it cut so close the Skipper would have been able to accuse me of stealing her old haircut.
Armand: Shorter hair is easier to take care of. *emphasizes this by shaking his back over his shoulder to pull to the other side and keep brushing* But most of the people I knew with short hair had either been recently ill or wore wigs a lot.
Alistair: Don't cut yours, Armand. You'll give off the wrong idea.
Armand: I won't. I'm used to it long. *pauses staring at the hair* oh. *plucks one out and shows it to Alistair* *a single silvery white hair* I'm not old enough for that.
Alistair: Well, with all you've been through, I'm not surprised.
Alistair: It's just one, though. *points to own head* When it starts looking like this, get worried.
Armand: But isn't that how it starts? With just one? *squints to see if there are others*
Alistair: Do you need me to help hunt?
Armand: Could you?
Alistair: Of course. Now how do I position myself here so I can peek at the top of your head and adeptly pluck the offenders out?
Armand: *sits up a bit straighter and bows his head toward Alistair so Alistair can see his crown*
Alistair: Ah. There you go. *peeks, finds-lo!-another one, and plucks it* There! Another faded piece!
Alistair: Did that hurt?
Armand: No. *glances up at him* Are there more?
Alistair: Well, I guess I lied. You have two. You'll be looking like me in no time.
Alistair: *looks* I don't see any more.
Armand: *sighs in relief* Good. Maybe that's the end of it.
Alistair: I'd ask you to do the same for me, but I think that would be tedious, and would make a great deal of my hair go missing.
Armand: You look very respectable with your silver, Alistair.
Alistair: Thank you. It's why I've kept it. It's an indication, to anyone from my time at least, of my actual age. More or less.
Alistair: The Graysons thought our ships were crewed by teenagers when we first negotiated with them.
Armand: You don't look your actual age at all.
Alistair: I know. Thankfully.
Armand: I doubt I'll liveto be as old as you.
Alistair: I'm not that old....
Armand: People don't live to be that old often where I'm from.
Alistair: I keep wanting to take you back with me, if I go back, but that may not be good for you.
Armand: I won't go anywhere without Jeanne unless it were possible to come back.
Alistair: Which is why I don't think I can possibly ask you.
Armand: *nods* I would like to see ships that sail through space.
Alistair: I know. If I can find a way...
Armand: *thinks* I talked to Susan today, and completely forgot to ask her about Binky.
Alistair: Well, if you see her again, ask her. I'm a bit shy, if you haven't noticed.
Armand: You are?
Alistair: Usually!
Armand: Ah. That doesn't do a body much good here.
Alistair: I'm trying to talk to more people. You help.
Armand: I try. I hope it gets easier for you though.
Alistair: I talked to Scotty about that last night. I think that I need to change myself a bit to fit in here.
Armand: *smiles* Ihate seeing you tense and unhappy all the time.
Alistair: *shrugs* I've had cause.
Alistair: But I'll be better soon.
Alistair: The problem is I don't know if anyone will be able to stand me after that. *laughs* I'm not the man they think I am at home, oh no....
Armand: *frowns* Not stand you?
Alistair: I can be obnoxious, rude, crude, irritating...
Alistair: I just try not to, you see.
Armand: *raises an eyebrow* And this matters?
Alistair: It may. *yawns*
Alistair: But it probably won't. I'm not making much sense.
Armand: I don't think so. You are tired?
Alistair: Not tired at all. *yawns extremely*
Armand: You liar!
Alistair: *laughs* All right, I suppose I am.
Armand: You have a room now right? You're not sleeping in a chair in the library are you?
Alistair: I've had a room for a while.
Alistair: I'd be a bit more stiff if I was sleeping in a chair all night.
Armand: I'm just making sure.
Alistair: I know.
Alistair: And I should probably be off to it.
Armand: *hugs him again* Rest well.
Alistair: *hugs* I will. Will you need me straight away in the morning?
Armand: I don't think so. I should sleep in one of these days.
Alistair: Yes. You should. Tomorrow. Although I don't know if I can prevent people from coming to see you.
Armand: *solemn face* I'll try to sleep deeply so they can't wake me.
Alistair: And if you can't, fake it! *grins*
Armand: It depends who it is. *smiles*
Alistair: Well, yes, but in general.
Armand: I promise I shall not be awake to everyone.
Alistair: *snort* We'll see how long that lasts. Good night.
Armand: Goodnight.