[Feanaro] *so, walking the grounds - or whatever is convenient?*
[Nerdanel] *is again sitting in the gardens, but this time she sees him coming*
[Feanaro] *being very careful*
[Nerdanel] *she sounds tired* Why will you not leave me in peace?
[Feanaro] These are my grounds, and I can move in them as I want to. Do you wish things to remain as they are, then?
[Nerdanel] *quietly, she looks away, aware that this will hurt* Yes.
[Feanaro] *it hurts indeed* Are you happy, then?
[Nerdanel] ... It is confusing, and... frightening. But it seems there have been worse things I coped with, or so I was told, and there is someone to help me.
[Feanaro] ... is there.
[Nerdanel] Indeed. *and really, she is afraid, but manages to hide it well, except for an occasional quaver in her voice*
[Feanaro] ... *folds his hands behind his back, so she won't see them tremble* ... then pray tell who this marvellous creature is, that seems to achieve what I cannot...
[Nerdanel] I will not tell you. *bites her lip*
[Feanaro] *studies her face* Why not?
[Nerdanel] *tries to meet his gaze, but cannot hold eye-contact for long before looking away* Your deeds are widely known, and if you consider jewels worth of what you did, how much more vile would your actions become now?
[Feanaro] *close to crushing his own hands now, wee* My deeds were not known to you, at least, until I told you. How do you know how widely they are known? *red herring, yay*
[Nerdanel] *carefully, drawing back a little* I was told. Three brothers, each leading their own host. How many eyes were there to see what happened?
[Feanaro] Many indeed. Few of them, however, are here. I take it you met my half-brothers, then?
[Nerdanel] Our... your... sons too, were there. *oh, look, it's another red herring!*
[Feanaro] Our sons, however, would probably not come to stand between you and I.
[Nerdanel] You yourself came to stand in that place and yet think they may not?
[Feanaro] ......... it is my fault you do not wish to regain your memory?
[Nerdanel] Why do you phrase a question if you believe you know the answer already?
[Feanaro] Technically, it was not phrased as a question. Note the lack of inversion. I do not believe to know the answer.
[Nerdanel] Pah, linguist elves. Sssssssserinde. I dreamt, last night, of a journey to Alqualonde, but when I arrived, the city was empty. *shudders* It was empty except for the dead in the havens. How could I return to a man whose deeds caused such grief, for jewels? *hides face in her hands, she is trembling* *after a while, quietly* What would it make of me, to forgive and forget such brutality?
[Feanaro] *looks away* A wise and merciful woman?
[Nerdanel] If I were wise... *bitter laugh*
[Feanaro] *purses lips* So they named you.
[Nerdanel] That I know. Yet, wisdom and memory, both must have left me.
[Feanaro] *bitterly* Or you are now wiser than before.
[Nerdanel] Name a reason for me to return to you, now, without my memory.
[Feanaro] I love you. But I suppose that matters not.
[Nerdanel] *looks away* I do neither remember nor understand the love I felt for you. You are kind, and I was told you would not hurt me, and yet... what is long past for you is not so for me.
[Feanaro] It never actually /happened/ for you, if no one had told you. And you have no wish to regain your memory to perhaps better understand. Constructive, that.
[Nerdanel] I am afraid of understanding. because if we try to understand the deeds of a madman, will we not have to think like him, become like him, even?
[Feanaro] Why? Strike-outs don't count.
[Nerdanel] I am afraid of what I will find.
[Feanaro] *frowns* And thus you believe to be better off as you are?
[Nerdanel] And I am afraid to find that I love Finarfin more than you, and cause even greater evil than that. Perhaps it is better, yes.
[Feanaro] *grits teeth, because we are so not going to cry, no way* A friend of mine did some research. It seems that whatever happened to you to make you lose your memory could be undone. But if this is how you feel...
[Nerdanel] Perhaps I will change my mind. But not now. *watches from the corners of her eyes, then steps closer and briefly rests her hand atop his* I am sorry.
[Feanaro] *his hands are still clasped behind his back, so that may be a tad difficult* *turns away abruptly* And I am the sorrier.
[Nerdanel] *sighs* So it seems. *walks away slowly, occasionally glancing back at him*
[Feanaro] *not crying, not crying* *may stand there motionlessly for a bit longer, just clenching his fists behind his back; then will turn and flee to the forge, where he can finally cry all he want*
[Ingoldo] *walks in~*
[Feanaro] *totally with the pacing*
[Ingoldo] *nods politely to him* Curufinwë.
[Feanaro] *half turns; is rather pale, and red-eyed* ......... Arafinwë.
[Ingoldo] *is startled by that* ......are you alright?
[Feanaro] *a bit harshly; but his voice is raw anyway* Do I look like it?
[Ingoldo] ...nay, though I suppose that was rhetorical.
[Feanaro] *small snort*
[Ingoldo] ...should I ask why?
[Feanaro] Have you recently met m-- the lady Nerdanel?
[Ingoldo] *looks faintly disturbed by his way of addressing her, but nods* I have.
[Feanaro] Then you noticed her - current disposition, I assume.
[Ingoldo] *sighs* Her lack of memory, yes.
[Feanaro] Indeed.
[Ingoldo] She still remembers nothing, I take it? *frowns softly*
[Feanaro] Nothing worth remembering. *bitter, what?*
[Ingoldo] *can't help but feel sympathy for him, though he feels he'll get snapped at if he shows it*
[Feanaro] *snaps either way*
[Ingoldo] *fun*
[Feanaro] *still bitter* It seems that there might be a cure.
[Ingoldo] Oh? That is good news.
[Feanaro] *snorts* She wishes to remain as she is.
[Ingoldo] *--starts* Why?
[Feanaro] Because she's "afraid of what she may find". *trying hard not to sneer*
[Ingoldo] ...that- is understandable, as it must seem that she has much to understand, but- she would keep herself in the dark and unhappy? *shakes his head*
[Feanaro] She claims that she is not unhappy.
[Ingoldo] ...no?
[Feanaro] Oh, no. She does, after all, have somebody to help her.
[Ingoldo] .......she would have many more if she remembered them.
[Feanaro] No need to tell /me/.
[Ingoldo] ...Of course.
[Feanaro] *sharp look, suddenly* /You/ wouldn't know who her mysterious helper would be, would you?
[Ingoldo] *shakes her head* I have spoken with her a few times, but I do not know who else has.
[Feanaro] Hm. Been helpful, have you?
[Ingoldo] I try to be.
[Feanaro] Of course. *bitter again*
[Ingoldo] *frowns at that*
[Feanaro] Does /she/ speak with you, or you only with her?
[Ingoldo] We speak equally.
[Feanaro] Right.
[Ingoldo] *raises an eyebrow slgihtly*
[Feanaro] Well, I won't disturb you anymore. *turns*
[Ingoldo] *sighs* You were not disturbing me, but go if you wish.
[Feanaro] *snorts* Of course not. Arafinwë is, after all, ever so helpful. I should have known.
[Ingoldo] ...am I wrong for wanting to be?
[Feanaro] *hisses* That depends.
[Ingoldo] On /what?/
[Feanaro] Oh, a lot of things. After all, /you/ would be the last person to deny that the Teleri were right in /not/ being helpful... *trails off*
[Feanaro] Undoubtedly you could tell her a lot about /that/.
[Ingoldo] ... *stiffens* I have told her naught but the truth, Curufinwë.
[Feanaro] Oh, doubtlessly.
[Ingoldo] Are you suggesting that I am the reason she does not wish her memory returned?
[Feanaro] Oh, no. As she told me, that reason am I. *bitter bitter revolution*
[Ingoldo] There is nothing I can do to help that.
[Feanaro] Which is why I can just as well stop wasting our time.
[Ingoldo] *irritably* As you wish.
[Feanaro] What I /wish/ is entirely irrelevant.
[Ingoldo] It seems no one is happy in this situation, Curufinwë.
[Feanaro] *snorts* What reason have /you/, for example, to be unhappy?
[Ingoldo] She is my friend. I have no wish to see her upset by the things that once made her happy, or have her not be herself due to this loss.
[Feanaro] Well, at least about the former you must no longer worry. I shall no longer annoy her.
[Ingoldo] *frowns deeply*
[Feanaro] If /she/ is happy... *trails off again*
[Ingoldo] *shrugs, thinking of the things he needs to say to her when next they meet*
[Feanaro] *turns and walks off without further words; fists clenched, though*
[Ingoldo] ... *sighs, but lets him go*
[Feanaro] *why sigh, and why let go if he doesn't want to?*
[Ingoldo] *is sighing about all this in general, and nothing he can say with soothe Fëa anyway*
[Feanaro] *that is certainly true*
[Feanaro] *'sides, tears coming again, and we're not going to let Narf see those*