Destry Rides Again

[dexterjerome]

A few words of advice: when the dentist says to take care of your teeth, please listen! I'm a sorry example of why brushing alone is not enough. Amazingly enough, I have no cavities, but I do have a handful of other dental issues that come from pish-toshing the dental floss

Comments

[mickeytor]

Sadly I don't have an answer for you on this one. When it comes to check ups, I have a really good rapport with my hygenist so we end up gabbing and gabbing so much that I hardly notice that she is sticking sharp instruments into my gums.

On the few occasions that I've had surgery (wisdom teeth) I was a nervous wreck to the point that the doctor had to tell me to behave, and the nurse had to sit on my feet. Scary - AND surreal!

[dexterjerome]

Agh! When I had my wisdom teeth extracted, they knocked me out cold with pills! I was delirious for a day and rambled incoherently about pink fleas and chandeliers -- so I'm told, anyway. I don't remember it at all. What I do know is that for the entire time I was out, when I was asleep, I had Tori's 'Under the Pink' on repeat -- for 24 hours, nonstop.

Can you blame me, now, for hating Tori Amos? I can't hear that album without getting nauseous. (Except for "Pretty Good Year," which is a song about me.)

[qoph]

(Except for "Pretty Good Year," which is a song about me.)

"And Greg he writes letters and burns his CDs"

Yes!!!

[dexterjerome]

The weird thing is, who the heck knew what burning CD's meant in 1994? When I used to listen to that song, I thought she meant, like, putting CD's in a pile and setting fire to them. Maybe that is what she meant, and it came to develop its current meaning later. I think about this sometimes.

Just about everything in that song applies to me, except who is Lucy? Tori got that part wrong when she was spying on my life. And she obviously did, because I was always writing letters, every day in high school and all through every class, I wrote letters -- WITH my birthday pen.

[annaclaire]

when i went to the dentist this summer, she put her hand on her hip and said "decay is NOT your problem" and that i "do not bite like a pansy." then she recommended wisdom tooth removal and jaw surgery. yowza!

[dexterjerome]

yoinks!! I hadn't been to the dentist in [too long to say], so I was expecting the worst. Lucky for me, things weren't nearly as bad as I thought they might be.

I like that you have such a sassy dentist! Mine is pretty hunky but he could stand to be a lot sassier.

[annaclaire]

when i went, i hadn't been in at least five years, if not longer. i got my wisdom teeth removed, but i am not doing the jaw surgery thing. that is just crazy.

[cookieguggelman]

I hear ya there! Hello receding gums! (I still don't know if my case is caused by too aggressive of brushing or not flossing aggressively enough).

I don't have a set happy place to rest my mind when going to doctors, but I could use one. I avoid making eye contact when I'm having my blood drawn or when I'm having my teeth worked on. It's too weird.

[dexterjerome]

All this time, I figured that dentists just used that old dental floss routine to drum up some more business for Johnson & Johnson. I don't know why I get these conspiracy paranoias -- they do nothing but harm me! If only I had listened. I thought it was just some kind of joke.

This is really gay, but sometimes when I don't think about Marlene Dietrich, I think about rainbows.

[madge_pastiche]

You're such a doll for thinking about Marlene Dietrich or rainbows! I think weird semi-scholarly things that have to do with my surroundings. Like, I get panicked and think, "I have to transcend this! I will find a way to think this time staring at the ceiling is very very interesting, so...I'll make up a rhyming poem using the letters of the logo on that lamp! Or I can do math with the ceiling tiles! That will improve my mind and be very, very distracting!"
(I'm a freak. Just realized that.)

Although I also think about "cankles" because the first time I went to this dentist the hygienist rattled on and on about her pregnancy, which caused her legs to swell up to the extent that, in her words, "My calves were totally like invisible from my feet. I mean, I didn't have ankles. Cankles- I had cankles."

My condolences on the gum issues. Poor thing. Uck. (And I can't wait to see the movie!)

[dexterjerome]

Gah! Cankles sounds so grody. I knew this dude once whose last name was Shankles and he was the trashiest of the trashy. But ankles, as a word in itself, sounds okay by me. Wonder why that is?

Next time at the dentist or doctor, I might borrow your techniques & see how that goes. Or astral projection, maybe I'll try that! Hmmmm...

I want to see Dietrich's 'Blonde Venus' so I can see her wild routine in the giant blonde afro.

[phyllisgabor]

I've seen that--it's amazing--she starts out in a GORILLA COSTUME, and then she pulls the mitts and head off and she has that huge wig on! One of the greatest moments in motion picture history.

I used to read her daughter's kiss-off book constantly when I was in high school, just because I was amazed at the strange power Dietrich held over men and women alike.

[dexterjerome]

My morale is suffering from not getting my pop-trash reading fix lately. Should I look for her daughter's book? I'm longing to jump into 'Lovely Me,' but maybe I could add the Dietrich book to the list.

(Meanwhile, I'm completely swamped with cataloging exercises. Will I ever be free?)