My Zahir
I don't know if anyone reading this has read much Paolo Coehlo... i can't spell tonight sorry.
Anyway..
He wrote a book called the Zahir. I guess in arabic the Zahir is something that can not go unnoticed something that will always be seen cannot be missed. It is something that consumes your every thought and can be considered either a state of holiness or insanity.
In the book there is a man who has been married many times and finally marries a woman whom he falls deeply inlove with. She loves him equally as he loves her. He is a writer and she becomes a war correspondent and one day simply disappears. Anyway until she leaves the man knows that he loves her but not the extent of his love. When she leaves he realizes that he loves her more than himself even and he doesn't want to live without her. Even so he only wishes at least to see her one more time not to make her come back but to ask why she left.
I feel much like i have a Zahir. It scares me and worries me but at the same time it makes me happy. I think about how i would love for that person my Zahir, to be only mine but at the same time thinking about him being happy is really all i want. I know that being without him would make me very sad but seeing him unhappy would make me that much sadder.
My life right now is pretty good. I'm starting school again soon... go CU!! lol. I am about six weeks deep into a new job that i love. I am slowly rebuilding a friendship with my best friend after going through somewhat of a rough patch that has really tried our relationship, I am giving another chance to a relationship that broke my heart, and i am hopeful that if i have faith in myself and the power of positive thinking that life will take me exactly where i really want to be. Yet, the Zahir is all i think about. Not how to do well in school, not how to advance in the wonderful job i have now, and not how to build stronger friendships with the amazing people in my life.
I am worried not because of what the consumption of a Zahir can do to my life but what state it might leave me in inside once its done its worse.
<3.
Anyway..
He wrote a book called the Zahir. I guess in arabic the Zahir is something that can not go unnoticed something that will always be seen cannot be missed. It is something that consumes your every thought and can be considered either a state of holiness or insanity.
In the book there is a man who has been married many times and finally marries a woman whom he falls deeply inlove with. She loves him equally as he loves her. He is a writer and she becomes a war correspondent and one day simply disappears. Anyway until she leaves the man knows that he loves her but not the extent of his love. When she leaves he realizes that he loves her more than himself even and he doesn't want to live without her. Even so he only wishes at least to see her one more time not to make her come back but to ask why she left.
I feel much like i have a Zahir. It scares me and worries me but at the same time it makes me happy. I think about how i would love for that person my Zahir, to be only mine but at the same time thinking about him being happy is really all i want. I know that being without him would make me very sad but seeing him unhappy would make me that much sadder.
My life right now is pretty good. I'm starting school again soon... go CU!! lol. I am about six weeks deep into a new job that i love. I am slowly rebuilding a friendship with my best friend after going through somewhat of a rough patch that has really tried our relationship, I am giving another chance to a relationship that broke my heart, and i am hopeful that if i have faith in myself and the power of positive thinking that life will take me exactly where i really want to be. Yet, the Zahir is all i think about. Not how to do well in school, not how to advance in the wonderful job i have now, and not how to build stronger friendships with the amazing people in my life.
I am worried not because of what the consumption of a Zahir can do to my life but what state it might leave me in inside once its done its worse.
<3.