The sinner’s sonnet

[deviousscamper]

Perhaps there’re ways to explain my thoughts

Without the same routine

Ways to explore my past

And not experience the after burn

These are strange considerations

Embracing the nature of my demons

Allowing them to breathe within the pools of consciousness

I place names on images that are greased by tears

Survivor of my own emotional shackles

I release each image, for they tell stories of my past affairs

Each, etched into my heart as a scar from a losing battle

Some leaving wounds that took years to heal

For they kept bleeding, bidding time for their deceitful inflictor to return

Betraying time’s philosophical promise of healing

These bleeding lesions consumed my reason

With my consent because I believed that was my atonement

I abided by the cruelty of their memories, making excuses after excuses

Forgiving without their request

Making it hard to be free for I secretly enjoyed my martyr standing

I was my the architect of my own torments

Deliverance only came when I accepted my weaknesses

And released these treacherous loves from my inner most corners of my heart

There is forgiveness left for this sinner;

I allowed myself to finally be . . . liberated, from me