Therapy pt 2
Well, here we are about 2 weeks from my birthday. I have an interesting night planned. I found out through my usual poking that last year, there was a huge reunion planned for my high school (North Mesquite HS) band; as in anyone who had ever been a part of it from 1968 (the school is as old as me) to present. I didn't get to attend that one since I had no idea it was happening until I stumbled on the yahoo group page, somehow by accident. There have been plans in the works for a couple of months to do the same this year, just not on quite the same grand scale as last year (a two day event). I've kinda gotten pulled into the whole thing and plan to help out however I can..at least this year. Why do I feel this is therapeautic? Several of my entries during my actual therapy deal with the past, more directly that year that my mom and stepdad left for Washington state and I stayed here, nowhere near ready to start dealing with the world in its less than pristine state. These were the people that were around me that year, the people who were my friends, and as I found out a few years later, had someone (my band director) who had "my back" if any problems occurred, as my mom talked to him before she left the state. They were around when they first seeds of my problems were taking root.
Now I will never say that I am "cured" of my problems, it is still a decision I make every day to keep open communication with my family, and try to teach my little ones that lying or not "mentioning" the truth is destructive. Now that life is a bit more on even keel, where it belongs, and I try to guard our relationship like the Faberge Egg that it is (priceless and delicate), there aren't that many opportunities that arise where I have to make that decision to "just wait" to talk about something. I usually go out of my way to mention things that might just blow up in my face, or at least make me slap my forehead later.
Back to the original thought, I have an opportunity to return, in a way, to that crossroads where it seems things set in stone how my life would be run, albeit by my own decisions, for a long time. We are all meeting at the homecoming football game which just happens to be on my birthday. A lot of "my people" have already said they will be there. Posting with these people has been interesting. With many of them, I haven't seen them in 20 years, but after first contact, it's like we just said bye a few weeks ago. I don't know if any of this will result in life long friendships, but it's nice to go back, even if for one night, and to show them that I turned out pretty ok!
Now I will never say that I am "cured" of my problems, it is still a decision I make every day to keep open communication with my family, and try to teach my little ones that lying or not "mentioning" the truth is destructive. Now that life is a bit more on even keel, where it belongs, and I try to guard our relationship like the Faberge Egg that it is (priceless and delicate), there aren't that many opportunities that arise where I have to make that decision to "just wait" to talk about something. I usually go out of my way to mention things that might just blow up in my face, or at least make me slap my forehead later.
Back to the original thought, I have an opportunity to return, in a way, to that crossroads where it seems things set in stone how my life would be run, albeit by my own decisions, for a long time. We are all meeting at the homecoming football game which just happens to be on my birthday. A lot of "my people" have already said they will be there. Posting with these people has been interesting. With many of them, I haven't seen them in 20 years, but after first contact, it's like we just said bye a few weeks ago. I don't know if any of this will result in life long friendships, but it's nice to go back, even if for one night, and to show them that I turned out pretty ok!