shattered dreams
You wanna know how it feels to feel as though your every hopes and dreams are taken from your grasps right before your eyes? Just ask me.
For as long as I remember, I have had only one dream...to become a professional singer. I have auditioned for many things on many occations and have won many awards for my talents. I have been in two bands, but had to leave one for a higher calling. I left the band I created, Mideden, to join the United States Marine Corps. They didn't like the fact that I like drugs, so I was separated. Side Note: drugs aren't bad. Its all in how you let yourself react to them. Anyways, I have been playing with another band for a month now. We have had two shows. OUr last show, I had a bad night. On top of this nasty cough I acquired through working in chicken houses which caused massive flem build up resulting in real bad intonation on Where the River Flows by Collective Soul, I was convinced that we should cover Omerta from Lamb of god. Screamo metal is new for me and challenging to pull off vocally. I am doing well at it though, but since we only practiced it for a week before performing it, I was so focused on everything else a frontman has to be focused on, I forgot some lyrics. In turn, led the band to decide that my voice isn't good enough.
Am I that bad of a singer. I have received many remarks recently (and only recently) that the music is good but the vocals suck. Thats a shot to the balls in my book. That hurt my pride drastically.
So now, I have cowered back to my imaginary box with no ambition, no where to go and no direction in which to turn. somebody save me.
Added to all this bad karma in my life...I haven't had a job since I left the Marines back in April (believe me, I've been trying), I haven't had a girlfriend in almost two years (Honestly, I have been busy trying to get my life organized so that I actually have something to bring to a relationship other than just me, you know). I don't even have a fucking car because my ex girlfriend decided to wreck it two weeks before I left for Boot camp and than broke up with me after a week of being in boot camp. Im so fucking lonely. I don't even have any friends. My best friend died while I was in combat training and they wouldn't even let me come home for the weekend to see his funeral. My best friend of 13 fucking years and I couldn't even see his funeral.
My parents say I have just been making bad decisions lately. I don't see how any of this relates to decision making. Whatever!
For as long as I remember, I have had only one dream...to become a professional singer. I have auditioned for many things on many occations and have won many awards for my talents. I have been in two bands, but had to leave one for a higher calling. I left the band I created, Mideden, to join the United States Marine Corps. They didn't like the fact that I like drugs, so I was separated. Side Note: drugs aren't bad. Its all in how you let yourself react to them. Anyways, I have been playing with another band for a month now. We have had two shows. OUr last show, I had a bad night. On top of this nasty cough I acquired through working in chicken houses which caused massive flem build up resulting in real bad intonation on Where the River Flows by Collective Soul, I was convinced that we should cover Omerta from Lamb of god. Screamo metal is new for me and challenging to pull off vocally. I am doing well at it though, but since we only practiced it for a week before performing it, I was so focused on everything else a frontman has to be focused on, I forgot some lyrics. In turn, led the band to decide that my voice isn't good enough.
Am I that bad of a singer. I have received many remarks recently (and only recently) that the music is good but the vocals suck. Thats a shot to the balls in my book. That hurt my pride drastically.
So now, I have cowered back to my imaginary box with no ambition, no where to go and no direction in which to turn. somebody save me.
Added to all this bad karma in my life...I haven't had a job since I left the Marines back in April (believe me, I've been trying), I haven't had a girlfriend in almost two years (Honestly, I have been busy trying to get my life organized so that I actually have something to bring to a relationship other than just me, you know). I don't even have a fucking car because my ex girlfriend decided to wreck it two weeks before I left for Boot camp and than broke up with me after a week of being in boot camp. Im so fucking lonely. I don't even have any friends. My best friend died while I was in combat training and they wouldn't even let me come home for the weekend to see his funeral. My best friend of 13 fucking years and I couldn't even see his funeral.
My parents say I have just been making bad decisions lately. I don't see how any of this relates to decision making. Whatever!