"Crying is not a safe-word" -- not only a BDSM site
https://cryingisnotasafeword.bdsmlr.com/
I spotted this intriguing site, evidently a kinky place to talk about "bondage and discipline" --since safe-words are an agreed signal that the submissive is acutely unhappy with her master or mistress's behavior. It is rarely invoked because it esentially stops a "scene" and requires the dominant to re-think what they are doing that the subbie cannot accept.
Presumably, the "bottom" (an apt nickname, since he or she seeks to surrender control to their "top") is equally "invested" in enjoying the scene. My own sense, as a "switch" (someone who knows themself to enjoy both giving and receiving sexual punishment in a specific agreed-upon scene), is that the subbie must be eager to give up control. To be reassuring, the domme (in my case) in effect becomes less credible in her role.
She (in my case) needs to savor her own helplessness, but -- all too perversely -- can best do that by "indulging" her lover's every whim. The LAST THING she wants is to disrupt the fantasy -- which both "players" have worked to set up as "believable."
I should mention something called "topping from the bottom," where the subbie tries to shape the play. It's by definition unfair behavior, in effect FORCING the domme to break out of her role -- which she enjoys playing -- to reassure her willing "victim." But a good domme is nothing if not flexible -- foregoing her pleaaure in order to keep the subbie happy.
I spotted this intriguing site, evidently a kinky place to talk about "bondage and discipline" --since safe-words are an agreed signal that the submissive is acutely unhappy with her master or mistress's behavior. It is rarely invoked because it esentially stops a "scene" and requires the dominant to re-think what they are doing that the subbie cannot accept.
Presumably, the "bottom" (an apt nickname, since he or she seeks to surrender control to their "top") is equally "invested" in enjoying the scene. My own sense, as a "switch" (someone who knows themself to enjoy both giving and receiving sexual punishment in a specific agreed-upon scene), is that the subbie must be eager to give up control. To be reassuring, the domme (in my case) in effect becomes less credible in her role.
She (in my case) needs to savor her own helplessness, but -- all too perversely -- can best do that by "indulging" her lover's every whim. The LAST THING she wants is to disrupt the fantasy -- which both "players" have worked to set up as "believable."
I should mention something called "topping from the bottom," where the subbie tries to shape the play. It's by definition unfair behavior, in effect FORCING the domme to break out of her role -- which she enjoys playing -- to reassure her willing "victim." But a good domme is nothing if not flexible -- foregoing her pleaaure in order to keep the subbie happy.