(no subject)
today has been trying.
from the beginning, too. i woke up tired. i missed my first bus. i dragged throug a paper. the bus didn't come. i didn't get the job i wanted. just all these little things, adding up in some way. i have tried to be patient, but in a lot of cases, it was all i could do. i wasn't smiling in spite of it; i was annoyed, just not so annoyed that i was being rude to others or rude to myself. i'm just tired.
i wanted to focus on speaking today, on thinking about what i am going to say before i say it, but besides what i said in class, i pretty much haven't spoken to anyone all day. this not only makes me a little lonely, but it also makes me frustrated with myself.
today has just been hard, and instead of taking it in stride, i have let it bother me. i feel hopeless today, and not in the spirit of ramadan. i've been trying to remind myself that all these things are probably happening because i've asked God to try me, to make it hard and to let me find myself. i can't find myself if everything is easy.
and at the same time, today has been hard, but my life is ever so much easier than the lives of everyone else in this world. my problems are trivial, my life small. i have to get a hold of myself and remember these things. remember to smile at my rumbling stomach, to maintain a sense of composure when things aren't going my way, and in fact, appreciate that not everything in this world really has to go my way.
i've got to get a hold of it, and turn it around.
in some ways, i don't want tomorrow to be like today, but in other ways, it'd probably do me a bit of good.
from the beginning, too. i woke up tired. i missed my first bus. i dragged throug a paper. the bus didn't come. i didn't get the job i wanted. just all these little things, adding up in some way. i have tried to be patient, but in a lot of cases, it was all i could do. i wasn't smiling in spite of it; i was annoyed, just not so annoyed that i was being rude to others or rude to myself. i'm just tired.
i wanted to focus on speaking today, on thinking about what i am going to say before i say it, but besides what i said in class, i pretty much haven't spoken to anyone all day. this not only makes me a little lonely, but it also makes me frustrated with myself.
today has just been hard, and instead of taking it in stride, i have let it bother me. i feel hopeless today, and not in the spirit of ramadan. i've been trying to remind myself that all these things are probably happening because i've asked God to try me, to make it hard and to let me find myself. i can't find myself if everything is easy.
and at the same time, today has been hard, but my life is ever so much easier than the lives of everyone else in this world. my problems are trivial, my life small. i have to get a hold of myself and remember these things. remember to smile at my rumbling stomach, to maintain a sense of composure when things aren't going my way, and in fact, appreciate that not everything in this world really has to go my way.
i've got to get a hold of it, and turn it around.
in some ways, i don't want tomorrow to be like today, but in other ways, it'd probably do me a bit of good.