The Truth Is Hard To Swallow [Twenty-Three]
Title: The Truth Is Hard To Swallow [Twenty-Three]
Author: detourtoyou
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Jack/Alex
POV: 3rd
Summary: Of course the one time he decided to act his age, Alex would end up messing even that up. But in his defense, it was hard to act his age when he was faced with things so entirely beyond his age and maturity level, like a one-night decision that decided to follow him into the rest of his life.
Warning: Mpreg
Disclaimer: This is sadly false and a complete lie created by my mind. Title taken from Toxic Valentine by All Time Low.
Dedication: For an amazing person whom I love dearly with all my heart, Mike damnedifidoyah <3
A/N: I'm swamped with trying to finish other fics that I completely forgot about updating this. Rushed and short, mild filler to connect stuff.
Feel free to follow me on tumblr but as a heads up, it’ll be mostly used for updates and such. I’m not too good with keeping up at that kinda stuff lol
“Does Zack know?” asked Jack from the bed, eyes squinting at Alex’s back as though the answer could be found in the rigid lines of his spine.
Finishing the sentence he was writing for his English paper, Alex muttered, barely paying attention to the other boy, “No.”
“I figured. If he knew, I’d already be dead in a dark alley somewhere,” commented Jack with a small snort. He picked at a loose thread on the comforter, propping himself up on his elbows to better look at the studying teen. Since the night at IHOP, neither of the boys had mentioned what had transpired over that sticky, stained table, and while Jack was content to keep it that way as much as Alex was, he knew it wasn’t something they could simply ignore into disappearance. Unfortunately. With a small twist of his lips, he continued, asking, “Are you going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?” came the distracted answer from the desk, pen scratching against paper almost irritably.
“About the whole-” Jack paused a moment, hesitation biting his tongue. “-me being the dad thing,” he finished, hand waving in gesture to the words even though Alex couldn’t see him.
Body stiffening against his will, Alex stared hard at the blue letters sitting on the lines of the college ruled notebook paper, teeth already worrying his bottom lip. His fingers tightened against the slim body of the pen as he ground out, voice strained, “I’m going to.”
“Yeah, like we haven’t heard that one before,” Jack muttered, unwittingly snapping Alex’s patience.
“Shut up. What does it matter whether I tell Zack or not? What do you care? You don’t want to keep the baby anyways!” shouted Alex with fervor, twisting around in the office chair to glare at him with wavering eyes.
Brown eyes darkened, lips tightening into a thin line. There was nothing but contempt written in childish scribbles all over Jack’s face, taut. It cut through Alex’s anger almost immediately, causing the pregnant teen to drop his gaze along with any outward bursts of animosity. He flinched, still finding himself completely spineless when confronting Jack. Nothing had changed from when Alex first met him.
“We’re not fucking talking about this right now,” he hissed, mouth working into a scowl as irritation wrinkled the skin between his brows. Ever since being told it was his, Jack had been rather hostile whenever anything pertaining to the baby was mentioned.
“Stop cursing in front of him. He can hear,” Alex merely mumbled in response, keeping his head lowered and his eyes lower despite Jack having been the one to bring up the topic this time.
“It doesn’t fucking matter! My dad can hear too so just stop talking about it.”
Tugging at his hair lightly, Alex opened his mouth and closed it after a second’s worth of thought. He didn’t want to pretend like the conversation at IHOP had never happened; he wanted to pretend that certain parts of it had never happened but not the entire thing. It was as if everything had reverted back to before Jack had found out that he was actually the real father of the baby growing inside of Alex. It was upsetting to see such little change in spite that he had already guessed Jack would behave in such a way.
Gathering what little lump of courage he had left, Alex opened his mouth once more, fully intent on making himself heard, “What? Are you just now going to pretend like the baby doesn’t exist and that I’m just really fat? Or are you going back to not knowing that you’re the dad?”
There was hardly enough sarcasm to seep between the cracks of the letters as Alex had hoped, but it was enough for Jack, who glowered at Alex.
“I’m not pretending anything. I just don’t see what more is left that we need to talk about.”
“You don’t see what more there is that we need to talk about,” reiterated Alex, incredulous. “Jack. I’m pregnant. I’m going to be giving birth in like ten weeks, and you’re pretending like the baby doesn’t even exist and isn’t just sitting there with me. What part of that do we not need to talk about?”
Jack shifted positions on the bed, discomfort lining his face as he spoke. “I already told you what you should do.”
“Which is another thing that we need to talk about,” Alex pointed out despite agreeing with his gut that he did not want to talk about Jack’s ‘friendly’ suggestion. Neither of them wanted to talk about it. It was more something that they needed to talk about, however, regardless of how unpleasant and upsetting the topic was.
“God, what is your problem, Alex? We don’t need to talk about anything!” snapped Jack with irritation. “Look. I don’t care what you decide to do, okay? I personally think that you should give it up for adoption so that it doesn’t grow up in a shithole family that can’t provide for it and so that it doesn’t have parents who are stupid, irresponsible teenagers who made a mistake. But I can’t make you up give it up for adoption because it’s attached to you and not me. And you’re a hell of a lot stupider than me. So just do whatever you think is best, and leave me out of it, all right? But let me make this clear. You keeping it doesn’t make you Mother Teresa, and everything isn’t just going to magically fix itself when it comes out. Don’t expect anything. There is nothing we need to talk about anymore. I don’t care what happens, and I don’t care what you decide to do with it, okay? So shut the hell up about it.”
Rolling off the bed, Jack snatched the ring of keys from his nightstand, heading straight for the door.
Alex followed the other’s movement with his eyes, feeling small. His voice was smaller when he spoke, questioning timidly despite how the mini-speech unsettled his stomach, “Where are you going?”
“Away from you.”
The door slammed shut.
--
“So, have you thought of a name for the baby yet?” asked Zack with inquisitive eyes, a teddy bear in his hands.
Scratching absently at his arm, Alex shook his head, letting his eyes fall to the baby bump underneath his yellow shirt. He tugged at the hem of it to fit properly over but it continued to rise and reveal his stretched skin. They were at the local Babies R Us, an unplanned trip. Once Zack had laid eyes on the store, he had exclaimed that they both absolutely needed to go in considering Alex had nothing ready for the coming baby. He couldn’t tell his best friend that he had nothing ready because he had no money and because there was a probable chance that he wouldn’t keep it, and just feebly agreed.
“Um, no. I haven’t thought about it. At all,” he answered, distracted. He pulled out a stuffed pig with tiny wings on its back and winced at the thought that there would be no room to buy such a cute little toy. Hastily, he shoved it back onto the shelf.
“Seriously? Dude, you’ve only got like, two months. I know that my mom had my name picked out way before I was born.” Zack paused to frown a little, teddy bear pointed towards Alex. He pushed it away, unable to take the beady glass eyes staring at him. “Actually, she told me that she had my name picked out since she was in high school so maybe that’s not the best example.”
“I don’t really want to stress out over names. I’m just gonna let it happen naturally,” he said, watching a mother pass by them in the aisle. Her arms were linked around her husband’s, two pairs of hands pushing the stroller as they admired the toys. His heart tugged at the sight of the family, and Alex turned away with Jack’s works ringing in his ears. It deserves a happy life with a happy family who can take care of it and give it whatever it needs. Me and you? We're not that happy family.
He wanted so desperately to be a happy family like them for the baby.
“You’re really laid back about this,” commented Zack, peering at Alex with concern as he placed the bear back on the shelf.
“I just don’t see a point in stressing over finding a name. I think that the right name will come along soon or later,” Alex responded with a tight smile, forcing his face to loosen.
Zack stopped them at the cradles, mouth pulling into a slight frown as he studied Alex for a few quiet seconds. The older boy could already see the friendly hangout between them souring. Although to be fair, Alex was the only one to blame. He had been the very living definition of a horrible friend while Zack had been everything but. It was time he came clean, even if it was about however many months too late.
“Alex, is something wrong?”
“What would be wrong? I’m fine,” he answered with a slight stutter of his words.
“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? Is it the baby?”
“No! The baby’s fine. I just…” His mouth felt full of needles, pricking his tongue. It was about time he told the truth. Fingers twisting together, Alex stared at the wooden cradle behind his best friend, saying in a slowed breath, “Zack, there’s something I haven’t been telling you about the baby…” Zack waited patiently, eyes urging him to continue and assuming the worst. Alex choked on the syllables, eyes turning down to his shoes. “The baby’s dad- Caleb isn’t the baby’s dad. It’s Jack.”
The admission hung in the air between the two of them, eating away at the oxygen as Alex held his breath. He peeked a look at his best friend, almost flinching at the blank visage pulling at his face.
“Zack?” he called out timidly, fearing the temper he may have possibly brought out.
“Jack is the dad.”
Curling his toes in his shoes, Alex nodded, suddenly feeling very ashamed for reasons he couldn’t fathom. His voice was soft as he confirmed the statement, “Yeah, he is.”
“If Jack is the dad, then,” Zack frowned sharply with his next words, continuing, “what the hell is Caleb?”
“Caleb was just helping me. He was the first person who knew that I was pregnant, and he pretended to be the dad so that I wouldn’t have to tell Jack,” he explained. “I know that I shouldn’t have gone along with it and that I should have told you the truth from the start, but I didn’t know how and then it was too late,” babbled Alex restlessly, the words spilling without meaning from his mouth.
Alex could hear the sharp intake of breath filling Zack’s lungs.
“We’re supposed to be best friends, Alex. Why can you tell Caleb what you can’t tell me?” asked the younger boy, voice lined with traces of disappointment and betrayal. Alex closed his eyes, wishing it would also block out the sound.
“I didn’t know how to tell you. Once Caleb pretended to be the dad, it just seemed like a good idea to go with it.”
There was a beat of pause, then, “Then, the asshole who took your virginity back at the beginning of the school year. That was Jack, wasn’t it?”
His answer was faint, shame curling in his stomach at the remembrance of that night and all the humiliation drawn from it. “Yeah.”
“I’m going to beat that son of a bitch to the ground!” growled Zack, eyes glistening with fury as they darted over to the nearest exit. A nearby pregnant couple threw dirty looks in their direction, speaking softly with disapproval clinging to their faces. Zack ignored them. The sheer sincerity of his expression, overwhelmed on all sides by anger, alerted Alex into a mild panic. Alex flailed and latched onto his arm all at once, certain that if he didn’t, Zack would hunt down Jack and beat up the boy as promised.
“Zack, no! Don’t. It’s not Jack’s fault. I did it too,” Alex reasoned, pleading with Zack to release his misdirected anger.
Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. “He took advantage of you, Alex! He got you freakin’ pregnant and hasn’t done shit! I’m not just going to sit back and let him go. He’s not getting away with this.”
Tugging at Zack’s captured arm once more, Alex spoke, voice firm, “Zack, he didn’t know he was the dad. He believed that Caleb was the dad too just like everyone else. I didn’t tell him until a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know anything; it’s not his fault.”
Apparently, Zack’s voice of reason had taken a step outside, unwilling to listen to Alex. “Well, now that he knows, is he going to take care of you and the baby?”
Alex zipped his mouth shut, making no sounds in any attempt to answer the bluntly presented question. Nevertheless, the lack of response made the answer to his inquiry all too clear to him. Zack crossed his arms.
“Didn’t think so. C’mon, Alex. We’re paying that asshole a visit.” A gentle hand on his back maneuvered him towards the exits, avoiding a pile of blocks someone had left behind.
Alex craned his neck to look at Zack, asking weakly, “You’re not mad?”
Zack stopped, hand moving to his hair as it followed a sigh. “A little. I’m more sad than mad that you thought you couldn’t tell me any of this. Alex, we’re best friends. No matter what happens or what shit you get yourself into, I’ll always have your back. I’m not gonna flake on you because of this one little thing when we’ve been friends for like our entire lives. Just, I’d like it if you didn’t hold yourself back on me, yeah? We’re bros, no matter what, and I want you to know that you can lean on me just as much as I do. I mean, heck, I used to come crying to you all the time when we were kids,” he laughed.
“You did cry a lot,” agreed Alex with blurring eyes and a small smile. “I’m sorry, Zack.”
“It’s okay, Lex. Now c’mon. I was serious when I said we’re going to visit Jack. He’s the damn father, the least he can do is buy a crib.”
Author: detourtoyou
Rating: NC-17 overall
Pairing: Jack/Alex
POV: 3rd
Summary: Of course the one time he decided to act his age, Alex would end up messing even that up. But in his defense, it was hard to act his age when he was faced with things so entirely beyond his age and maturity level, like a one-night decision that decided to follow him into the rest of his life.
Warning: Mpreg
Disclaimer: This is sadly false and a complete lie created by my mind. Title taken from Toxic Valentine by All Time Low.
Dedication: For an amazing person whom I love dearly with all my heart, Mike damnedifidoyah <3
A/N: I'm swamped with trying to finish other fics that I completely forgot about updating this. Rushed and short, mild filler to connect stuff.
Feel free to follow me on tumblr but as a heads up, it’ll be mostly used for updates and such. I’m not too good with keeping up at that kinda stuff lol
“Does Zack know?” asked Jack from the bed, eyes squinting at Alex’s back as though the answer could be found in the rigid lines of his spine.
Finishing the sentence he was writing for his English paper, Alex muttered, barely paying attention to the other boy, “No.”
“I figured. If he knew, I’d already be dead in a dark alley somewhere,” commented Jack with a small snort. He picked at a loose thread on the comforter, propping himself up on his elbows to better look at the studying teen. Since the night at IHOP, neither of the boys had mentioned what had transpired over that sticky, stained table, and while Jack was content to keep it that way as much as Alex was, he knew it wasn’t something they could simply ignore into disappearance. Unfortunately. With a small twist of his lips, he continued, asking, “Are you going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?” came the distracted answer from the desk, pen scratching against paper almost irritably.
“About the whole-” Jack paused a moment, hesitation biting his tongue. “-me being the dad thing,” he finished, hand waving in gesture to the words even though Alex couldn’t see him.
Body stiffening against his will, Alex stared hard at the blue letters sitting on the lines of the college ruled notebook paper, teeth already worrying his bottom lip. His fingers tightened against the slim body of the pen as he ground out, voice strained, “I’m going to.”
“Yeah, like we haven’t heard that one before,” Jack muttered, unwittingly snapping Alex’s patience.
“Shut up. What does it matter whether I tell Zack or not? What do you care? You don’t want to keep the baby anyways!” shouted Alex with fervor, twisting around in the office chair to glare at him with wavering eyes.
Brown eyes darkened, lips tightening into a thin line. There was nothing but contempt written in childish scribbles all over Jack’s face, taut. It cut through Alex’s anger almost immediately, causing the pregnant teen to drop his gaze along with any outward bursts of animosity. He flinched, still finding himself completely spineless when confronting Jack. Nothing had changed from when Alex first met him.
“We’re not fucking talking about this right now,” he hissed, mouth working into a scowl as irritation wrinkled the skin between his brows. Ever since being told it was his, Jack had been rather hostile whenever anything pertaining to the baby was mentioned.
“Stop cursing in front of him. He can hear,” Alex merely mumbled in response, keeping his head lowered and his eyes lower despite Jack having been the one to bring up the topic this time.
“It doesn’t fucking matter! My dad can hear too so just stop talking about it.”
Tugging at his hair lightly, Alex opened his mouth and closed it after a second’s worth of thought. He didn’t want to pretend like the conversation at IHOP had never happened; he wanted to pretend that certain parts of it had never happened but not the entire thing. It was as if everything had reverted back to before Jack had found out that he was actually the real father of the baby growing inside of Alex. It was upsetting to see such little change in spite that he had already guessed Jack would behave in such a way.
Gathering what little lump of courage he had left, Alex opened his mouth once more, fully intent on making himself heard, “What? Are you just now going to pretend like the baby doesn’t exist and that I’m just really fat? Or are you going back to not knowing that you’re the dad?”
There was hardly enough sarcasm to seep between the cracks of the letters as Alex had hoped, but it was enough for Jack, who glowered at Alex.
“I’m not pretending anything. I just don’t see what more is left that we need to talk about.”
“You don’t see what more there is that we need to talk about,” reiterated Alex, incredulous. “Jack. I’m pregnant. I’m going to be giving birth in like ten weeks, and you’re pretending like the baby doesn’t even exist and isn’t just sitting there with me. What part of that do we not need to talk about?”
Jack shifted positions on the bed, discomfort lining his face as he spoke. “I already told you what you should do.”
“Which is another thing that we need to talk about,” Alex pointed out despite agreeing with his gut that he did not want to talk about Jack’s ‘friendly’ suggestion. Neither of them wanted to talk about it. It was more something that they needed to talk about, however, regardless of how unpleasant and upsetting the topic was.
“God, what is your problem, Alex? We don’t need to talk about anything!” snapped Jack with irritation. “Look. I don’t care what you decide to do, okay? I personally think that you should give it up for adoption so that it doesn’t grow up in a shithole family that can’t provide for it and so that it doesn’t have parents who are stupid, irresponsible teenagers who made a mistake. But I can’t make you up give it up for adoption because it’s attached to you and not me. And you’re a hell of a lot stupider than me. So just do whatever you think is best, and leave me out of it, all right? But let me make this clear. You keeping it doesn’t make you Mother Teresa, and everything isn’t just going to magically fix itself when it comes out. Don’t expect anything. There is nothing we need to talk about anymore. I don’t care what happens, and I don’t care what you decide to do with it, okay? So shut the hell up about it.”
Rolling off the bed, Jack snatched the ring of keys from his nightstand, heading straight for the door.
Alex followed the other’s movement with his eyes, feeling small. His voice was smaller when he spoke, questioning timidly despite how the mini-speech unsettled his stomach, “Where are you going?”
“Away from you.”
The door slammed shut.
--
“So, have you thought of a name for the baby yet?” asked Zack with inquisitive eyes, a teddy bear in his hands.
Scratching absently at his arm, Alex shook his head, letting his eyes fall to the baby bump underneath his yellow shirt. He tugged at the hem of it to fit properly over but it continued to rise and reveal his stretched skin. They were at the local Babies R Us, an unplanned trip. Once Zack had laid eyes on the store, he had exclaimed that they both absolutely needed to go in considering Alex had nothing ready for the coming baby. He couldn’t tell his best friend that he had nothing ready because he had no money and because there was a probable chance that he wouldn’t keep it, and just feebly agreed.
“Um, no. I haven’t thought about it. At all,” he answered, distracted. He pulled out a stuffed pig with tiny wings on its back and winced at the thought that there would be no room to buy such a cute little toy. Hastily, he shoved it back onto the shelf.
“Seriously? Dude, you’ve only got like, two months. I know that my mom had my name picked out way before I was born.” Zack paused to frown a little, teddy bear pointed towards Alex. He pushed it away, unable to take the beady glass eyes staring at him. “Actually, she told me that she had my name picked out since she was in high school so maybe that’s not the best example.”
“I don’t really want to stress out over names. I’m just gonna let it happen naturally,” he said, watching a mother pass by them in the aisle. Her arms were linked around her husband’s, two pairs of hands pushing the stroller as they admired the toys. His heart tugged at the sight of the family, and Alex turned away with Jack’s works ringing in his ears. It deserves a happy life with a happy family who can take care of it and give it whatever it needs. Me and you? We're not that happy family.
He wanted so desperately to be a happy family like them for the baby.
“You’re really laid back about this,” commented Zack, peering at Alex with concern as he placed the bear back on the shelf.
“I just don’t see a point in stressing over finding a name. I think that the right name will come along soon or later,” Alex responded with a tight smile, forcing his face to loosen.
Zack stopped them at the cradles, mouth pulling into a slight frown as he studied Alex for a few quiet seconds. The older boy could already see the friendly hangout between them souring. Although to be fair, Alex was the only one to blame. He had been the very living definition of a horrible friend while Zack had been everything but. It was time he came clean, even if it was about however many months too late.
“Alex, is something wrong?”
“What would be wrong? I’m fine,” he answered with a slight stutter of his words.
“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? Is it the baby?”
“No! The baby’s fine. I just…” His mouth felt full of needles, pricking his tongue. It was about time he told the truth. Fingers twisting together, Alex stared at the wooden cradle behind his best friend, saying in a slowed breath, “Zack, there’s something I haven’t been telling you about the baby…” Zack waited patiently, eyes urging him to continue and assuming the worst. Alex choked on the syllables, eyes turning down to his shoes. “The baby’s dad- Caleb isn’t the baby’s dad. It’s Jack.”
The admission hung in the air between the two of them, eating away at the oxygen as Alex held his breath. He peeked a look at his best friend, almost flinching at the blank visage pulling at his face.
“Zack?” he called out timidly, fearing the temper he may have possibly brought out.
“Jack is the dad.”
Curling his toes in his shoes, Alex nodded, suddenly feeling very ashamed for reasons he couldn’t fathom. His voice was soft as he confirmed the statement, “Yeah, he is.”
“If Jack is the dad, then,” Zack frowned sharply with his next words, continuing, “what the hell is Caleb?”
“Caleb was just helping me. He was the first person who knew that I was pregnant, and he pretended to be the dad so that I wouldn’t have to tell Jack,” he explained. “I know that I shouldn’t have gone along with it and that I should have told you the truth from the start, but I didn’t know how and then it was too late,” babbled Alex restlessly, the words spilling without meaning from his mouth.
Alex could hear the sharp intake of breath filling Zack’s lungs.
“We’re supposed to be best friends, Alex. Why can you tell Caleb what you can’t tell me?” asked the younger boy, voice lined with traces of disappointment and betrayal. Alex closed his eyes, wishing it would also block out the sound.
“I didn’t know how to tell you. Once Caleb pretended to be the dad, it just seemed like a good idea to go with it.”
There was a beat of pause, then, “Then, the asshole who took your virginity back at the beginning of the school year. That was Jack, wasn’t it?”
His answer was faint, shame curling in his stomach at the remembrance of that night and all the humiliation drawn from it. “Yeah.”
“I’m going to beat that son of a bitch to the ground!” growled Zack, eyes glistening with fury as they darted over to the nearest exit. A nearby pregnant couple threw dirty looks in their direction, speaking softly with disapproval clinging to their faces. Zack ignored them. The sheer sincerity of his expression, overwhelmed on all sides by anger, alerted Alex into a mild panic. Alex flailed and latched onto his arm all at once, certain that if he didn’t, Zack would hunt down Jack and beat up the boy as promised.
“Zack, no! Don’t. It’s not Jack’s fault. I did it too,” Alex reasoned, pleading with Zack to release his misdirected anger.
Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. “He took advantage of you, Alex! He got you freakin’ pregnant and hasn’t done shit! I’m not just going to sit back and let him go. He’s not getting away with this.”
Tugging at Zack’s captured arm once more, Alex spoke, voice firm, “Zack, he didn’t know he was the dad. He believed that Caleb was the dad too just like everyone else. I didn’t tell him until a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know anything; it’s not his fault.”
Apparently, Zack’s voice of reason had taken a step outside, unwilling to listen to Alex. “Well, now that he knows, is he going to take care of you and the baby?”
Alex zipped his mouth shut, making no sounds in any attempt to answer the bluntly presented question. Nevertheless, the lack of response made the answer to his inquiry all too clear to him. Zack crossed his arms.
“Didn’t think so. C’mon, Alex. We’re paying that asshole a visit.” A gentle hand on his back maneuvered him towards the exits, avoiding a pile of blocks someone had left behind.
Alex craned his neck to look at Zack, asking weakly, “You’re not mad?”
Zack stopped, hand moving to his hair as it followed a sigh. “A little. I’m more sad than mad that you thought you couldn’t tell me any of this. Alex, we’re best friends. No matter what happens or what shit you get yourself into, I’ll always have your back. I’m not gonna flake on you because of this one little thing when we’ve been friends for like our entire lives. Just, I’d like it if you didn’t hold yourself back on me, yeah? We’re bros, no matter what, and I want you to know that you can lean on me just as much as I do. I mean, heck, I used to come crying to you all the time when we were kids,” he laughed.
“You did cry a lot,” agreed Alex with blurring eyes and a small smile. “I’m sorry, Zack.”
“It’s okay, Lex. Now c’mon. I was serious when I said we’re going to visit Jack. He’s the damn father, the least he can do is buy a crib.”