a vacation spot in the northeast
Tonight I went to a diner, Zach's, with my friend Lauren. I haven't been a very good friend to her lately, just always make myself too busy-even though I'm not if that makes sense. But I'm trying to be a better friend because I miss her. Anyways, we were sitting in a booth on opposite sides of each other and behind her came in an older, scruffy faced man who was eating alone. The entire time her and I were eating I could only barely see the sides of him from around Lauren's figure. But Lauren got up to go to the bathroom revealing this man to me. As I watched him faced down eating his salad in solitude I just started thinking about my dad. Thinking about how sometimes my dads face got scruffy if he hadn't shaved in awhile, usually I guess from being hung over or just a choice of wanting to grow his beard out. But I got sad, thinking about this man being alone and wondering about his family, his situation. It made me think about how my dad used to go to movies by himself and I wondered if maybe there were people that looked at him and felt that drop in their stomache, wondering why he was alone. It just hits me sometimes...as does it for anyone thats lost someone i'm sure. its just funny how you're always constantly dealing with something, even when you dont know it. you might not even think about it for 4 months but then once again there it is. i don't suppose its because you're trying to bury it in your mind and forget about it. you just learn to live with it i guess. and as it comes up again-you learn to live with it. i'm not sure if thats even making any sense.