Seducing Arthur Shappey: Chapter 2
Title: Seducing Arthur Shappey Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Arthur/OFC Warnings: Dubcon Summary: An heiress with too much time and money on her hands takes a bet that she can seduce the world’s most oblivious steward. Hilarity ensues. a/n: There’s not much seducing in this chapter, but it’s meant to lay a foundation for later. Hope you enjoy this gen section!
Chapter 2: Bridgetown
BING-BONG
DOUGLAS:
This is your first officer speaking. I just wanted to assure all one of our passengers that it is perfectly safe and legal to operate aircraft whilst wearing beach attire.
MARTIN:
And this is your captain, Martin Crieff. Thanks to a lovely donation from an anonymous benefactor, we are now flying across the Atlantic Ocean towards a Caribbean holiday and getting paid to do so!
DOUGLAS:
What the captain really means to say is that he is getting paid to do his job for the first time in his life, and the rest of us are having the Caribbean holiday.
MARTIN:
That’s not true… at least I hope it’s not!
DOUGLAS:
And now, if you’ll look to your right, or to your left for that matter, you’ll see endless ocean. Hopefully the steward has instructed you on the proper use of flotation devices and lifejackets… but wait! It seems that the steward has, in fact, been locked in the galley by none other than the CEO of MJN! How unfortunate that the passenger will have an open opportunity for a lawsuit-
CAROLYN:
That’s enough out of the both of you!
Cabin Pressure intro plays here.
Galley. Arthur is singing to himself.
ARTHUR:
(singing)
On the first day of holiday, I really want to see… a starfish and a palm tree!
(spoken)
No. Not a starfish. I’ve seen one of those in “Finding Nemo” already. Maybe… a dolphin! Yes, dolphins are brilliant!
Carolyn enters.
CAROLYN:
You’re not going to see any dolphins where we’re going, Arthur.
ARTHUR:
What? Why not? I thought they were everywhere! And they’re so friendly, too!
CAROLYN:
We might be at the beach later, but I can assure you we’re not going to be in the midst of a bunch of smiling dolphins.
ARTHUR:
Aww…
CAROLYN:
Besides, you know my hatred for dolphins knows no bounds. They’re too smart for their own good! Unlike you…
ARTHUR:
But at least they’re friendly like me!
Eris is ringing the service bell.
CAROLYN:
Stay here; I’ll find out what our “anonymous benefactor” wants now…
Carolyn enters the cabin.
CAROLYN:
Hello, Aphrodite. What can I do for you?
ERIS:
The first thing you can do is quit the snide remarks, thank you very much. Need I remind you that I am financing the largest-scale operation that MJN has ever seen?
CAROLYN:
No, you needn’t.
(reluctantly)
I’m sorry if I offended you.
ERIS:
It’s all right. I just wish we were at the beach already. Or shopping. Or something, I don’t even care what. I honestly don’t know how you all can tolerate each other after being on this plane for days at a time…
CAROLYN:
I guess you’re going to have to find out, then.
ERIS:
Unfortunately, yes.
An awkward pause.
CAROLYN:
Listen, Eris, I don’t want any hard feelings between us. I realise my behaviour may have been perceived as out of line recently. I mean, yours was much worse and you still haven’t apologised yet, but I’d like to be the better person here and extend the olive branch.
ERIS:
Just out of curiosity, what should I be apologising for?
CAROLYN:
For your shameless attempt to corrupt my son, obviously!
ERIS:
… You do realise he’s twenty-nine years old, right? Meaning, he can do whatever he likes.
CAROLYN:
Yes, but…
ERIS:
I don’t think this is an issue anymore. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves, shall we?
Arthur appears seemingly out of nowhere.
ARTHUR:
Mum, I thought of another thing I want to see! A monkey!
CAROLYN:
That’s even more ridiculous than the dolphins! I can guarantee that you’ll see no such thing at the beach.
ARTHUR:
Aww…
ERIS:
Don’t worry, Arthur. There’s actually a good chance that you’ll see one.
ARTHUR:
Really?
ERIS:
Yes, there are certain monkeys called Barbados Green Monkeys. And in fact,Barbados Green Monkeys are known to roam Barbados. How surprising!
ARTHUR:
Brilliant!
CAROLYN:
…Brilliant.
Cut to interior of a posh resort. The crew and Eris are sitting in the lobby.
ERIS:
Well, that was fun. You’d think they’d find a place for us to land after an hour of circling around…
DOUGLAS:
At least they have apple juice here.
MARTIN:
I don’t see why we even came here. There’s nothing here that I can’t find in England!
ARTHUR:
There are monkeys!
CAROLYN:
I hate monkeys! They wouldn’t stop following us the whole way here!
DOUGLAS:
I think that’s just because Arthur is the monkey whisperer. They’re naturally drawn to him.
ARTHUR:
Well, actually, monkeys don’t really whisper. It’s more like:
(unintelligible screeching sounds)
DOUGLAS:
Is that what they call you, then?
ERIS:
This was supposed to be a nice place. Last time I was here, I had a marvellous time at the beach and I went boating, too!
MARTIN:
Hold on, did you say… boating?
ERIS:
Uh… yes?
DOUGLAS:
Not this again.
MARTIN:
It’s just that I took a boating course last year and now I’m fully able to operate a boat. Which would technically make me a ship’s-
DOUGLAS:
Captain! Of course! O captain, my captain! Only now you can command a seaworthy vessel!
MARTIN:
(pauses, then says confidently)
Why, yes, I can.
ERIS:
Well, we can rent a boat if you’d like. It would be interesting, wouldn’t it?
CAROLYN:
It’s not much different than being trapped on a plane, if you ask me.
ERIS:
No, there’s plenty to do! You can take in the sights and the sounds and the smells… you can go fishing… and most importantly, you can escape those pesky primates that are back on the shore!
CAROLYN:
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I think a boat ride is a splendid idea!
Cut to the deck of the newly rented boat.
ARTHUR:
(singing)
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!
DOUGLAS:
While I understand that our boat might be reminiscent of a pirate ship- because itis- I wouldn’t say we’re actually pirates, Arthur.
MARTIN:
This isn’t a pirate ship. This is a sloop that happens to be a historical replica.
DOUGLAS:
So that’s why we’re sailing under the Jolly Roger?
MARTIN:
It was the only one left!
CAROLYN:
As long as that monkey from Pirates of the Caribbean isn’t here, I’m fine with this one.
Meanwhile, at the stern of the pirate ship…
ERIS:
Beautiful, isn’t it?
ARTHUR:
Yeah…
ERIS:
I was talking about the view of the horizon.
ARTHUR:
Oh. I thought you meant that cloud that looks like a butterfly.
ERIS:
Yeah, I can see that. It does look like a butterfly, though… fascinating.
ARTHUR:
Look! Did you just see that? Brilliant!
ERIS:
What? What happened?
ARTHUR:
I saw a fin sticking up out of the water! I bet it’s a dolphin come to say hello!
ERIS:
Oh… goodness. I- I guess it could be, Arthur. Why don’t you step back from the railing?
ARTHUR:
But it is a dolphin; I just know it!
ERIS:
Arthur, please. I don’t think it is… especially considering did you see the teeth on that thing- oh my god-
The “dolphin” starts ramming the boat.
MARTIN:
What’s going on over here- SHARK! AHHHH!!!
Loud thud.
CAROLYN:
I think he’s passed out! What a fine captain he is!
ERIS:
Well, what are we supposed to do now? There’s a shark pushing our boat to god knows where and we have no captain to steer us back to shore!
ARTHUR:
I told you, it’s a dolphin.
CAROLYN:
Then how do you explain the fact that it’s attacking our boat, most likely in an attempt to eat us?
ARTHUR:
It’s a really friendly one!
ERIS:
Douglas, please say you have a solution. Please.
DOUGLAS:
I was going to say we could offer it a ride home, but I think we’d need a bigger boat.
CAROLYN:
This is not the time for your witty comments! Our lives are in danger!
DOUGLAS:
Well, I have an idea. But it all depends on whether this ship is as historically accurate as its owner claims…
ERIS:
Wait. You’re not suggesting… that’s actually brilliant!
ARTHUR:
Brilliant?
CAROLYN:
What are you talking about? What are you going to do?
DOUGLAS:
Avast, you shark! Prepare to meet a more honourable demise than Jaws! Hopefully this cannon is more reliable than its 17th century counterpart…
Cannon fires.
ERIS:
An excellent shot! …provided you meant to fire it in the opposite direction.
ARTHUR:
You’re scaring it away!
CAROLYN:
That’s a good thing, Arthur. It means we’re still alive.
Martin is slowly coming to.
MARTIN:
(mumbling)
Oh… that inner ear problem chose a horrible time to manifest itself.
CAROLYN:
Of course it was the ear! It’s always the ear!
ERIS:
Wow, Martin, you managed to miss when Douglas single-handedly dispatched a man-eating shark! How unfortunate!
DOUGLAS:
I’m sure we can give Martin some credit in the matter. After all, if we hadn’t been stuck with such an awful ship, there wouldn’t have been a cannon on board!
MARTIN:
See? I did something right!
CAROLYN:
Martin, please just get us back to land. I’ve decided I’d rather take my chances with the monkeys than ever have to deal with a shark again!
ARTHUR:
I’m telling you, it was a dolphin.
DOUGLAS:
All right, you are the dolphin whisperer, after all.
ARTHUR:
See, dolphins make more of a clicking noise… like the seatbelts!
ERIS:
This is brilliant and all, Arthur, but let’s just get back to the resort. I think I’ve had enough of Barbados.
END OF CHAPTER TWO