this will all end in tears i know it

[goldnhand]

Jaime is furious, and his sister is an idiot, but all things considered, he'd rather have it this way than their roles reversed. Which is, as he feels the weight of his golden hand, the first time that's been the truth in a while. Best not to think on that, though. Moving onto more pressing matters

Comments

[tomboy_22]

Aaaand here's Anita. She's never heard of Westeros, and is out on her way to the lake, just for a jog. The very short little woman is in a remarkably good mood, and pauses in her stride.

"Ah. You're lost, aren't you?"

I will admit, I had trouble finding people in my roster who never heard the name Lannister before... AND WELCOME TO DF.

[goldnhand]

Put your women-and-children-friendly-face on, Jaime, or at least stop scowling. It's undignified. And definitely not a pout.

And he tries not to comment on her... odd clothing. At the very least.

"Lost may not be the word I'd use, but it seems I may be in need of optimism." Facepalm-- oh, wait, only one hand. No one saw that.

[tomboy_22]

Anita eyebrows a little. "I'll say." A beat, then, and she gets it all out of the way - she always does, with new arrivals.

"So. Before you ask, let me give you the run down. This isn't anywhere you know. It's called the Mansion, and no, I didn't bring you here, I just woke up here one day. You probably can't go back, unless you're a very special snowflake. Also, there isn't any food so you'll have to hunt or trade or whatever, but for some reason we have electricity and unlimited rooms in that crazy frat house."

A pause, and she adds, again, "Blake. Anita Blake. And whatever you do, don't call me Lady, I hate that."

Sorry, Jaime. Anita has seen too many arrivals.

[goldnhand]

"It's quite obvious you aren't a Lady, have no worry of that."

Which is all he can do to keep himself from asking 'Frat house? Electricity? How else would someone get food?' and other questions that would eventually boil down to woman what are you talking about.

Luckily for Jaime, none of this (or, not most of it) shows too much on outward features.

"Ser Jaime Lannister." Don't call him Kingslayer, he hates that. "A pleasure, Anita."

[tomboy_22]

I am a lady. I just don't like being called that. Except by Henry, but that's another story entirely.

"And you just made quite obvious that you're no knight, Jaime," she replies on the same tone. "But welcome to the Mansion anyway."

For someone who used to occasionally trained with some of the Arthurians, Anita has reasonable expectations of someone in a get up such as Jaime's. Then again -- he almost reminds her of Mordred. Almost. It's not necessarily a bad thing.

[goldnhand]

Not a lady, a Lady. As in, the daughter of a nobleman, married to a lord and the mistress of lands.

Which no woman wearing... form-fitting trousers and a simple shirt has ever been. At least, not to Jaime's knowledge.

But anyway.

"I am a sworn knight and lord commander of the Kingsguard, not that it seems you see fit to recall." Which really sounded less pedantic in Jaime's head. "But a good night is another matter." He waves his golden hand back and forth, making it ambiguous whether he's referring to his kingslaying, or the fact that he has only one hand, or something else entirely.

"And I thank you kindly for the information."

[tomboy_22]

If there ever was an exception, Jaime, Anita may be it, what with being quasi-married to the Earl of Richmond and Somerset. Excommunication and vampirism do get in the way of a catholic celebration though. Just a tad.

"Ah, well, everyone here comes around waving fancy titles," she snorts, and is specifically recalling Queen Susan the Gentle of Narnia with Other Lenghty Appendages Long Forgotten. "I'd drown you in mine, but it might take the whole afternoon. Anyway. You're welcome. Where'd you land in from?"

The utter lack of recognition might be a cue. Or not.

[goldnhand]

Jaime had never considered his titles 'fancy'. Then again, he'd never considered himself fancy. That was Cersei's job, with the dresses and whatnot.

He shrugs. Best not to think of Cersei, and whatever condition she's in right now.

"Last I recall, I was in Riverrun, though I'd quite like to return to anywhere in the Seven Kingdoms, as it seems this is not it." A pause, "...and this wouldn't be the Free Cities, hm?"

[tomboy_22]

"It's nothing you've ever heard of, unless you've been here before, but you don't look like you have. As I said. It's called the Mansion, and it's nowhere we know. Just a junction at the confluence of all worlds and all dimension. A hole in reality. Whatever that is."

She stretches, a little, infinitely cat-like, pleasant and lazy. "I'm told there's a way out but it probably wouldn't lead to wherever it is you're trying to go."

[goldnhand]

Have a flat, exasperated look, Anita.

"...Brilliant." Jaime wants to hit something, and with his real hand, too, or better, break something, or fight, or kill, anything anything to get this frustrated energy out of his system. He isn't sure, though, that running off to find the nearest sword to steal and stab with would be particularly good manners in front of this... ladyperson. Instead, he considers his next move, obviously lost in thought, trying desperately to figure out what he should do next.

[tomboy_22]

"Yeah, I know," she replies, clearly neither impressed nor surprised. "I guess I should tell you that the up side is that you get free lodging. It's the only one, when you arrive."

But then -- sometimes one finds a new life, and sometimes, it's better than the one they left behind.

[goldnhand]

Jaime could probably use a new life-- but only when he's finished tying up all the loose ends in the old one. And as Jaime will be the first to tell you, tying anything up one-handed is rather difficult.

Instead, he tries to look more pleased than he is, about this news. "I suppose I should be grateful, given that I have no money on me at present."

[tomboy_22]

We sympathize. At least Jaime doesn't wear sneakers?

"Ah, well. Money's useless, here. What you need is skill. If you can hunt, farm, heal, that sort of thing, you'll be fine. There's a fellow who's got a sort of roster going on - name's Kay, well, Sir Kay. He talks like he has a stick up his 'hind, but he's not a bad sort."

[goldnhand]

No, but he does wear fancy lacey medieval clothes and such. Someone introduce this man to zippers.

"I'll ask around for a Ser Kay, then, regardless of the dubious placement of sticks. My thanks, Anita."

[tomboy_22]

She chuckles, a little. "You're welcome, Your Highness." It's a bit ironic, but not aggressive. "You gonna be alright? It's a bit of an abrupt arrival, I know."

[goldnhand]

It isn't possible to tell if he's joking or not, but at least he says it in good spirits when he mumbles, "No, that's my sister, and she prefers your grace."

As for the other inquiry, it's touching-- people do not generally show open concern for Jaime Lannister, Oathbreaker. So of course, Jaime has to ruin it, or at least shrug it off, in this case. "I've fought in wars and planned seiges, this..." Sigh. "This should be nothing I cannot handle, thank you."