So, what's there to do?
I need to talk to people. I need to not be afraid to voice my opinions and my feelings to anyone. He tells me that I'm being stupid and that it is easy and I just lost everyone including him.
...I lost him like three months ago.
He tells me I'm the reason he stopped caring. Because I kept telling him that he didn't care. I can see where its my fault yes, but its his too. Why couldn't he of just said 'HEY. I do care. Let me show you.' or even explain how he cared. Because the only thing that I've seen for the last few months is him trying to get out of here as fast as possible. He says he stayed the first time, cause he knew I didn't have anywhere to go. ...I don't think that's entirely true.
He stayed because he didn't have the money to go down to Anaheim right away. Yes, he couldve left to his parents earlier...and I give him that, but the fact is he just kept telling me he was going then he wasn't going..then he wanted me to go with him and then he didn't. All within two months. Hah. My mind was confused as anything.
Recently he told me that he now really doesn't care, because if I'm going to say it...then why doesn't he show it? ...boy has he. Maybe I'm new to this, but...the last day you both are living in your apartment together...i would NOT go out until nearly five in the morning.
I guess that's suppose to show me that he doesn't care, and that I'm suppose to get over it quickly.
..but every morning so far, I've woken up alone...and cried. In the middle of the day, when I realize that he isn't going to be calling or texting me to say hi I get lonely. And especially during the night..id wait up expecting him to come home from work soon..and then come to the realization that he isn't coming home..it just tears me up. My heart feels so...drained, so alone. And I'm just so angry....
...I lost him like three months ago.
He tells me I'm the reason he stopped caring. Because I kept telling him that he didn't care. I can see where its my fault yes, but its his too. Why couldn't he of just said 'HEY. I do care. Let me show you.' or even explain how he cared. Because the only thing that I've seen for the last few months is him trying to get out of here as fast as possible. He says he stayed the first time, cause he knew I didn't have anywhere to go. ...I don't think that's entirely true.
He stayed because he didn't have the money to go down to Anaheim right away. Yes, he couldve left to his parents earlier...and I give him that, but the fact is he just kept telling me he was going then he wasn't going..then he wanted me to go with him and then he didn't. All within two months. Hah. My mind was confused as anything.
Recently he told me that he now really doesn't care, because if I'm going to say it...then why doesn't he show it? ...boy has he. Maybe I'm new to this, but...the last day you both are living in your apartment together...i would NOT go out until nearly five in the morning.
I guess that's suppose to show me that he doesn't care, and that I'm suppose to get over it quickly.
..but every morning so far, I've woken up alone...and cried. In the middle of the day, when I realize that he isn't going to be calling or texting me to say hi I get lonely. And especially during the night..id wait up expecting him to come home from work soon..and then come to the realization that he isn't coming home..it just tears me up. My heart feels so...drained, so alone. And I'm just so angry....