It's Forever Now.
"Do you remember when I said, "I'll always love you. Forever."? And you said, "Only Forever?"
Well, Baby, It's forever now."
That's a line from the original version of James O'Barr's 'The Crow'.
I think about that line everytime I pass my old job.
I sit and wonder...if there's still anything left.
The answer...I'll never know.
But, I know how I fee.
Everyone thinks I'm stupid.
Slow.
Weak.
Ignorant.
A WHORE!!....(j/k Erin)
But seriously.
I've never really had anyone close that can honestly relate to me.
Until recently.
I've never had anyone know how it feels.
I depended on Iris for way too long.
I never wanted to be know as the guy who depends on the girl.
I wanted to be seen as the guy who has the girl there, because he WANTS her.
Not NEEDS her.
But, I'll never have that chance again.........or, will I?
I know he says he doesn't have any problems with me.
But, I hate to say it....I wish they'd end.
She depends on him to be there.
I just wish she'd realize she doesn't need to depend on him.
That she can find someone else.
That I'm here.
Iris depended on me.
I know that she shouldn't have.
I wish she wouldn't have.
But, I was doing the same thing.
I never tried to manipulate her.
I just tried to keep things on good terms.
So much for that idea.
I'm not gonna lie....Janine's there....but, she's there for the wrong reasons.
She's there because she depends on me.
She shouldn't depend on me.....not like this.
I have too many feelings all at once.
I'm still in love with Iris....who is definately not coming back.
I care about Janine.....but not the same way she cares for me.
I have feelings for a girl who's taken.....although I wish I could sway her...I won't ....because it's not right.....and I have a better heart than that.
Erin is miles away....she and I couldn't pursue something from that distance.
My heart has gone in so many directions my whole life.....I just wish I could pick a direction and stay with it.
I've always had that problem.
Maybe someday I'll have some real peace.
I didn't mean for things to happen the way they did Monday night.
But, I'm glad they went that way.
And If I had the chance I'd do it again.
I just wish she felt the same way.
I wish that she could see what's really going on.
But, she needs him.....at least for now.
Hilary was right.....she'll wake up one day though....and realize.....her life's worth more than that.
Her smile alone is worth more than that.
It's weird.....I never thought I'd say that again.
NO I'M NOT FALLING IN LOVE.
Sometimes I wish I was thoough....maybe it would be good for once.
But, that's not the point.
He dogs on her around us.
He talks about her the same way my roommate did.
I never understood.
How could you say such things about your own girlfriend.
It doesn't matter........I'm sure he denies it....so it doesn't matter.
None of this is meant to take stabs at anyone.......it's meand tof everyone to realize....I have too much going on in my head all at once.
Iris always used to get angry when I wouldn't tell her what's wrong with me.
So, This is my way of telling everyone what's on my mind.
Still think I'm crazy?
Or do you think I just think too much?
I don't care.....I'm just going with my feelings from now on.
It's all I can do anymore.
Well, Baby, It's forever now."
That's a line from the original version of James O'Barr's 'The Crow'.
I think about that line everytime I pass my old job.
I sit and wonder...if there's still anything left.
The answer...I'll never know.
But, I know how I fee.
Everyone thinks I'm stupid.
Slow.
Weak.
Ignorant.
A WHORE!!....(j/k Erin)
But seriously.
I've never really had anyone close that can honestly relate to me.
Until recently.
I've never had anyone know how it feels.
I depended on Iris for way too long.
I never wanted to be know as the guy who depends on the girl.
I wanted to be seen as the guy who has the girl there, because he WANTS her.
Not NEEDS her.
But, I'll never have that chance again.........or, will I?
I know he says he doesn't have any problems with me.
But, I hate to say it....I wish they'd end.
She depends on him to be there.
I just wish she'd realize she doesn't need to depend on him.
That she can find someone else.
That I'm here.
Iris depended on me.
I know that she shouldn't have.
I wish she wouldn't have.
But, I was doing the same thing.
I never tried to manipulate her.
I just tried to keep things on good terms.
So much for that idea.
I'm not gonna lie....Janine's there....but, she's there for the wrong reasons.
She's there because she depends on me.
She shouldn't depend on me.....not like this.
I have too many feelings all at once.
I'm still in love with Iris....who is definately not coming back.
I care about Janine.....but not the same way she cares for me.
I have feelings for a girl who's taken.....although I wish I could sway her...I won't ....because it's not right.....and I have a better heart than that.
Erin is miles away....she and I couldn't pursue something from that distance.
My heart has gone in so many directions my whole life.....I just wish I could pick a direction and stay with it.
I've always had that problem.
Maybe someday I'll have some real peace.
I didn't mean for things to happen the way they did Monday night.
But, I'm glad they went that way.
And If I had the chance I'd do it again.
I just wish she felt the same way.
I wish that she could see what's really going on.
But, she needs him.....at least for now.
Hilary was right.....she'll wake up one day though....and realize.....her life's worth more than that.
Her smile alone is worth more than that.
It's weird.....I never thought I'd say that again.
NO I'M NOT FALLING IN LOVE.
Sometimes I wish I was thoough....maybe it would be good for once.
But, that's not the point.
He dogs on her around us.
He talks about her the same way my roommate did.
I never understood.
How could you say such things about your own girlfriend.
It doesn't matter........I'm sure he denies it....so it doesn't matter.
None of this is meant to take stabs at anyone.......it's meand tof everyone to realize....I have too much going on in my head all at once.
Iris always used to get angry when I wouldn't tell her what's wrong with me.
So, This is my way of telling everyone what's on my mind.
Still think I'm crazy?
Or do you think I just think too much?
I don't care.....I'm just going with my feelings from now on.
It's all I can do anymore.