OB... and that doesn't stand for Outback.
Today was tumultuous. A lot of emotions were raging in me today, and many thoughts that have recently come to the surface and have as of late been occupying my mind.
I woke up this morning in Ocean Beach, San Diego. I am now miles and miles from the beach in Los Angeles. I drove 2 hours and 45 today on the freeway, to then go to work. Which I haven’t done in about 5 days. So that’s hard in and of itself. I think you always hate your job the most when you go back to it after being away from it for a prolonged period of time. Because I have never not liked my job as much as I did today. I really started to consider quitting, and finding a job that doesn’t deal with directly serving people. But as the night wore on, I continued to try and convince myself that it was all going to be ok, and that it was because of my little mini vacation that I was feeling this way. So by the end of the night, I was doing a little better. It helped to think about what I was going to do tomorrow, and not about what I was doing tonight. I think all of this stemmed from the fact that I was no longer on vacation and that I have a lot of stuff that I need to whip myself into shape to get on top of. it’s the hard fact and realization that I have been really lazy and not doing what I came down here to do, and I’m mad at myself. In Ocean Beach you don’t think of any of these things. OB is like the land in between worlds in C.S. Lewis’ The Magician’s Nephew. Nothing gets done, nothing happens. You just get lazy, relaxed and lethargic and sit around sleepy. Not that that’s a bad thing at the right time. It’s a good get away, but it’s a sharp slap in the face when you get back to reality.
So here I sit, exhausted after a draining day, feeling lonely and depressed, missing the past few days, wishing I was still living them. But life goes on, it moves on, and so we must with it, else we get left behind.
Here’s to the future, OB trips and productivity
I woke up this morning in Ocean Beach, San Diego. I am now miles and miles from the beach in Los Angeles. I drove 2 hours and 45 today on the freeway, to then go to work. Which I haven’t done in about 5 days. So that’s hard in and of itself. I think you always hate your job the most when you go back to it after being away from it for a prolonged period of time. Because I have never not liked my job as much as I did today. I really started to consider quitting, and finding a job that doesn’t deal with directly serving people. But as the night wore on, I continued to try and convince myself that it was all going to be ok, and that it was because of my little mini vacation that I was feeling this way. So by the end of the night, I was doing a little better. It helped to think about what I was going to do tomorrow, and not about what I was doing tonight. I think all of this stemmed from the fact that I was no longer on vacation and that I have a lot of stuff that I need to whip myself into shape to get on top of. it’s the hard fact and realization that I have been really lazy and not doing what I came down here to do, and I’m mad at myself. In Ocean Beach you don’t think of any of these things. OB is like the land in between worlds in C.S. Lewis’ The Magician’s Nephew. Nothing gets done, nothing happens. You just get lazy, relaxed and lethargic and sit around sleepy. Not that that’s a bad thing at the right time. It’s a good get away, but it’s a sharp slap in the face when you get back to reality.
So here I sit, exhausted after a draining day, feeling lonely and depressed, missing the past few days, wishing I was still living them. But life goes on, it moves on, and so we must with it, else we get left behind.
Here’s to the future, OB trips and productivity