I'm so horrible >.

[desicatedcorpse]

so today.... weird day... I feel so horrible >.<. I was leveling and I realized a few things.. I realized that I had developed a crush on a really good friend of mine, but if I tell him, I'm afraid it'll ruin everything and he will be all like "ewwwww, Olga" and try to avoid me (even though I kinda blurted it out in the middle of saying something else hoping he won't notice)... it's happened before... everyone I have liked has not liked me back.... unless they liked me first. I feel horrible for thinking that. I also realized that I may lose another very good friend of mine... and I realized how everything is going downhill for me and I'm scared of being alone... I was thinking of my parents and how my father's life is going to end soon.. and I'm scared for my mom too... I might end up alone... I'm slowly growing away from my friends and focusing on my work.. I hate it, I can never hang out with anyone anymore... school is swallowing me and 2 jobs on top. DX

my solo is now Friday too >.< I'm not ready ;_____;