(no subject)
so my mother is being a total whore right now.... she says she doesn't have time to do anything and complains to her friends in front of me that I don't do anyting either. I'm always working or doing homework... I'm never home and when I am I stay up the whole freaking night trying to do homework... she says she has no time because she works at home and knits sweaters all day. She makes me almost late for work almost every tuesday just so she can take pictures of me in her sweaters so she can sell them. When she asks me to do something and I'm busy with homework or something useful, she complains.... WHAT THE FUCK??!?! Can she seriously not get up and do what needs to be done? She asks me to cook dinner and I do when I can, but when I say no because I'm too concerned with my future and maintaining my grade without staying up the whole night and falling asleep in class that day, she starts complaining that I am lazy and never do anything. what the hell am I supposed to do... just drop my education and just work around the house the whole time? I've never been this stressed with school in my whole life and + I have 2 jobs on top of it all and solo and ensemble and SATs coming up on the same day... I'm barely finding the time to do all of that, how the hell am I supposed to drop it all just so I can make my mother fucking happy! v.v
now she's complaining that I forgot to take the memory card out of the computer so all those pics she took on the camera were lost because there was no memory card. I forgot and I felt bad, she was pissed. She says I'm good for nothing and that I am worthless. She tells me that all the time. That's why I try to please everyone around me and say i'm sorry all the time because I want to actually mean something to someone instead of being the nothing that I am and upsetting everyone around me. This year I'm really trying hard in school so I can actually make something of myself and because of that I am paying the consequences of dealing with an angry mom. I feel horrible for this, but I know I will regret it if I stop trying.;__________;
now she's complaining that I forgot to take the memory card out of the computer so all those pics she took on the camera were lost because there was no memory card. I forgot and I felt bad, she was pissed. She says I'm good for nothing and that I am worthless. She tells me that all the time. That's why I try to please everyone around me and say i'm sorry all the time because I want to actually mean something to someone instead of being the nothing that I am and upsetting everyone around me. This year I'm really trying hard in school so I can actually make something of myself and because of that I am paying the consequences of dealing with an angry mom. I feel horrible for this, but I know I will regret it if I stop trying.;__________;