(no subject)
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]
Nothing I can think of is big enough.
Everyone has to really believe it. They need to know that I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, even if they know that I still don't like her. I can't just give her back Connor. And I -- I won't. He is good at what he does, he is. It can't look like I'm just trying to press a button and undo it all. It doesn't work like that and I know it. I'm not changing it, I'm just ... I'm saying that I'm sorry for it.
And nothing is right for that, nothing.
It's all just too piddling and small and ... condescending. Yes. That's it. Jewels or gowns or any of it, it makes it feel like I'm trying to say that I bought him, and I know that's what people will say. I know it is. And I don't want to ask for help, either. Not from Joseph or Aes or Ellisae ... it needs to be something that I've thought of on my own.
... if Matthew were here, I would ask him for help. And I know that he'd know just what to do. He was so good at this sort of thing. He always was. Sometimes, I just
I need to keep thinking. There's something, something perfect. I know there is. I just need to think of it. This is just ... so hard. And I hate it. It's awful. Trying to find something like this for Westa. It doesn't matter what's changed between Reeve and I, that day ... what she did ... what she said ... ...
Reeve ...
... oh, Reeve ...
[Filter: Reeve, in Atsirian]
Reeve.
Nothing I can think of is big enough.
Everyone has to really believe it. They need to know that I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, even if they know that I still don't like her. I can't just give her back Connor. And I -- I won't. He is good at what he does, he is. It can't look like I'm just trying to press a button and undo it all. It doesn't work like that and I know it. I'm not changing it, I'm just ... I'm saying that I'm sorry for it.
And nothing is right for that, nothing.
It's all just too piddling and small and ... condescending. Yes. That's it. Jewels or gowns or any of it, it makes it feel like I'm trying to say that I bought him, and I know that's what people will say. I know it is. And I don't want to ask for help, either. Not from Joseph or Aes or Ellisae ... it needs to be something that I've thought of on my own.
... if Matthew were here, I would ask him for help. And I know that he'd know just what to do. He was so good at this sort of thing. He always was. Sometimes, I just
I need to keep thinking. There's something, something perfect. I know there is. I just need to think of it. This is just ... so hard. And I hate it. It's awful. Trying to find something like this for Westa. It doesn't matter what's changed between Reeve and I, that day ... what she did ... what she said ... ...
Reeve ...
... oh, Reeve ...
[Filter: Reeve, in Atsirian]
Reeve.