October 31, 1974
TITLE: October 31, 1974
SERIES: Facilis Descensus Averno: BACKSTORY {A Descensus Hallowe'en Tale}
CHARACTERS: Severus Snape, Narcissa Black, Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Albus Dumbledore and many other Hogwarts students.
AUTHORS: kalichan & rm
RATING: 13+
WARNINGS: Gryffindors, Marauders, accidental cross-dressing, recreational potion use, Hogwarts traditions, pure-blood bigotry, carnivalesque
SUMMARY: Severus and Lily's Hallowe'en Adventure[s].
FEEDBACK: early and often if you so desire
AUTHORS' NOTE: This story, complete with relationships etc. was actually begun for last Halloween - but life happened. Still, we're happy to have been right about a few things, although now we can't prove our awesome predictive powers. Happy Halloween!
ARCHIVING: please ask
"Severus, you can't. We've been over this a hundred times," Narcissa said, strain wrestling with amusement in her voice.
"Because it doesn't make any sense," he replied dryly, flipping through a book at random and pretending to ignore his friend.
"Yes, it does! It's for the Families."
"Why? Are you going to drink each other's blood?" He looked up at her smugly.
Narcissa shoved him, not at all sure she was amused anymore. "No. We switch --"
"Yes?"
"It's like sex, you don't, you can't do it with --" she stopped and flapped her hands in frustration. "Not in public! Blood doesn't mix in certain ways, you know that, I've explained --"
"You know who my mother is," he tried.
"Yes, and not your father."
Severus made a face.
"No. Even if the taint was on the other side. We can't. I can't! Why are you so difficult?"
"Because you sleep in my bed, but you won't let me go --"
"To a stupid party! It's a stupid party, Severus! That's all! Just think, you won't have to spend the night vomiting up sausages and turkish delight because you overdosed on polyjuice."
The boy made a face. "Why you haven't all died from stupidity..." he said under his breath.
Narcissa hit him. "Stop that!" She growled then, mainly because it was fun, and also because Severus was too frustrating for words. "Why do you have to be so smart," she said hitting his shoulder again. "You're not supposed to be this smart!"
"Well, neither are you," Severus said, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. "You're supposed to be decorative."
"I am!" Narcissa protested.
"Merely," he clarified.
"Oh, no, not merely."
Severus smirked. "Don't you get mad when they won't let you do things because you're a girl?"
"There are reasons for those things," she said sternly, although the truth was that of course she did get mad, all the time.
"Do you really think something terrible would happen if you took polyjuice and decided to be me?"
"Well, I wouldn't be very decorative anymore."
"Cissy?"
"Yes?" she said pertly.
"Go away."
"I'll tell you about it after. It'll be very boring, but maybe Sirius and James will vomit," she said hopefully.
"On you," he said dryly.
Narcissa gave another huff of annoyance and stormed out, wondering if Severus would ever understand anything.
Severus sighed, hating Halloween.
*
"James, stop touching me!" Lily snapped as she rapped his knuckles with the back of a spoon. He wasn't stupid, so she couldn't figure out why he thought he was funny when he was just being boorish.
Peter laughed, Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus hunched down a bit farther in his seat in response; the truth was, he was embarrassed by James' behavior, but also felt guilty for being embarrassed by his friends.
"We do try to control him, Lily," he said apologetically, and although it wasn't a joke, Sirius howled as if his friend were a comic genius. Remus smiled weakly. He did like them, adore them, in spite of everything -- the best friends anyone could have; he just wished he weren't so often the voice of reason. Or apology.
"I'm just practicing for later," James said, trying to be charming.
Lily frowned. "Your stupid special party?"
"It's not stupid."
"It wouldn't be if you didn't keep bragging about it."
"It's in the dungeons," he whispered not quietly at all. "If you think you're annoyed now, imagine the Slytherins when we get done with them."
"Right now they're earning my sympathy," she said, brandishing a candy apple dangerously close to James' face.
Remus tried to pretend he wasn't paying attention, lest it be obvious how much he agreed with her. He didn't even really want to go. He'd had enough of nasty potions in his life without being made to drink a whole lot of them in the name of a party. That said, he was sort of amused by someone else getting to be a werewolf for a few hours and not even knowing it. He felt a little treacherous, but his library research (helped by Lily) had assured him it was safe, and that was nice, nicer than anything, even if Lily couldn't come with them and James was being an awful prat.
"Wish Snivellus had better blood," Sirius said absently.
"Sirius," Remus said, clearly weary.
"What?"
"I'm glad not to be dealing with that tonight. I thought you would be too."
"Yeah, but what am I going to do instead? Talk to my brother?"
"You should more."
"Why, so I can hear about how disappointed my father is? Again?"
"Maybe if you didn't --"
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Just, be glad you're poor for once, okay?" Sirius said, not unkindly.
"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.
"It's fine," Remus told her, leaning against her for a moment. "I'm the poorest and least miserable of the lot. And you've the worst blood and won't have to witness this fiasco of a party. I think we win."
"Maybe I'll sneak in," she said, half ignoring Remus.
"You can't do that," Peter said.
"Why not?"
"You can't. You're not --"
"I'm cleverer than you," she said, not cruelly, but a bit sharp.
"Good thing he doesn't have to sneak in then, eh?" Sirius said, nudging Peter and winking at Lily who just rolled her eyes and clunked the remains of the candy apple down on the table.
Remus sighed as Lily climbed over the bench. "Excuse me, boys, while I go enjoy my own exclusivity," she said with a bit of a bow before scooping a handful of candied pumpkin seeds from the table. She pitched one at Severus' back as she passed the Slytherins. He turned with a scowl and she smiled and jerked her head. Tonight she figured that her best friend, all his bad manners aside, might be the most perfect companion a muggleborn girl could have. For once.
*
Severus waited a suitable amount of time after Lily passed by before getting up from his seat and heading down to the senior potions laboratory. Slughorn may have been lazy at keeping order, but he had his uses - and one of them was free use of the smaller lab for interested and advanced students.
They could certainly count on it being empty. All the ridiculous excess of holiday festivities -that seemed designed to point out to him in every particular what he was forever outcast from- would at least ensure that no one would be trying to complete extra work this afternoon.
He wondered what his oldest friend wanted from him, not wanting to admit that he was grateful for her interruption of his thoughts, which were even blacker and more desolate than usual. Cissy’s careful little euphemisms were still stinging in his memory, and everyone had stayed far away from his scowl at the table. Lily, however, had no sense of discretion in such matters and never seemed to allow his frown to dissuade her from approaching him. More fool, she, Severus thought, although he was conscious of a small glow at the idea.
He opened the door of the tiny little laboratory, and found Lily sitting on a desk, examining a large irregular piece of parchment in the corner of a room.
“Well?” he asked.
“Well, what?” she said, looking up at him and smiling.
“What do you want?”
“Why do you think I want something?” she said. “Perhaps we’ve simply met here by happenstance.”
“Did I imagine that candied projectile hitting my head? Besides, you always want something,” he said, eying the parchment. “What’s that? An essay not coming along as brilliantly as it should? You require some help that you’ll never acknowledge but will happily accept full credit for? Perhaps Slughorn will drag out his ‘As clever as she is beautiful,’ line, and you can live on that for days.”
“You’ve never minded that before,” Lily said, putting the parchment down and standing up. “Or using my charms in your inventions either - but that’s right, no one can know about those, so I suppose the whole question of acknowledgement is really up to you and your secrets, isn’t it? You’re the one who likes things hidden.”
Severus scowled at her.
“If you’re just going to be unpleasant, Severus, why did you come?”
“You asked me to,” he said sullenly. “Don’t I always come when you ask?”
“You do,” she said. “Though not always graciously.”
“Grace is several galleons extra,” he said, sitting down.
“Being poor, I suppose I’ll have to make do without. What’s got your knickers in a twist today?”
Severus grimaced.
“Let me see if I can figure it out - your little snaky friends were giving you a wide berth at lunch today. No Regulus trying to charm you out of your usual nastiness. No Narcissa Black sitting next to you and encouraging all your worst tendencies. Why was that?”
“They know better - unlike you, apparently.”
“Perhaps they’re part of the problem?”
“Perhaps.”
“It’s that party, isn’t it?”
“What party?”
“Don’t insult me, Severus. You know what I’m talking about. The pureblood party after the feast.”
“Are you really supposed to know about that?”
“No more than you are.”
“Actually, that’s not completely true. My mother-”
“When are you going to get it through your head - no one cares about your mother? They only care that you’re not one of them…”
“It’s better than being a mudb-”
“You really don’t want to finish that,” Lily said, very quietly and steadily. “You don’t get to speak like that to me.” She turned her back on him.
After a long silence, Severus cleared his throat. “Lily?” he tried.
She didn’t answer.
“Lily, I’m…you’re right. I won’t do it again.”
She faced him again. “See that you don’t,” she said, after a long silence. “I’ll never forgive you if you do.”
“I won’t,” he said, resolving never to say it aloud, even though it was true. “So what was your point?”
“My point?”
“About the party?”
“Right, that party that you claim not to know about?”
“Exactly.”
“I want to sneak in and watch.”
“What?”
“And I want you to come with me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?” she asked, grinning.
“No particular reason. Except that it’s in a secret room and neither you nor I know where it is. Or perhaps that we’ve not got any polyjuice, and even if we did, all the purebloods will be going to the party - we can’t double up people, or they’ll know someone’s crashed it. Or perhaps it’s just that it’s the most insane idea you’ve ever generated.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve had lots of ideas that you don’t know anything about.”
Severus glared at her.
“You want to go, don’t you? You want to see what it’s about? If I could figure out a way past all those obstacles you mentioned, you’d go, wouldn’t you?”
“Maybe,” he said, and she knew that was as good as she was going to get.
“Look at that,” she said, and pointed to the parchment she had been examining when he walked in. “But don’t get any closer.”
“Why not?”
“It’s…not exactly mine.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a map of Hogwarts. It’s only half done, if that, but where it’s finished - it’s one of the most complete maps I’ve ever seen. It’s even enchanted to show people moving around on it!”
“Let me see! Where did you get it?”
“I…um…borrowed it,” she said, standing in his way.
“You stole it?” he asked disbelievingly, as he tried to get past her without shoving her bodily aside.
“Not really, I’m going to give it back, and you can’t see it, so stop trying.”
“Who does it belong to?”
“I can’t tell you that - but never mind. That’s not the point.”
“I think you must be the most unbearable person I’ve ever known,” he said. “Fucking Gryffindors.” He turned to storm off in a huff, but she grabbed his arm before he could leave.
“As we’ve already established this evening, you can’t expect me to keep your secrets and give away other people’s. Anyway, those concerned won’t miss it tonight, and I’ll return it tomorrow. But look - it’s not done. But the dungeon area seems to be finished. And one of the people marked in there is Gideon Prewett - he’ll definitely be going to the party tonight. All we have to do is follow his dot!”
“Fine!” he said, angrily. “And then, what? Just waltz in?”
“Precisely. Except, first you’ll promise me that you won’t try to look at this map. And then you’ll brew us up that Obfuscatus potion you’ve been working on. We won’t be invisible exactly but no one will notice us! That is, if your potion works as you think it does.”
Severus groaned, and sat down.
“Why are you sighing?” Lily asked. “Don’t you think we can do it?”
“No, I know we can do it.”
“Then what?” she said, bouncing happily.
“I’m just not sure that we should. But we’re going to anyway, aren’t we?”
Lily nodded.
“Of course we are," Severus sighed before snapping, "Well, what are you waiting for? Get the pewter cauldron.”
“Oh, and Lily?” he called after her.
“What?”
“I loathe you with every fiber of my being. You know that, don’t you?”
She laughed as she rummaged through the supply cabinet. “You’d better learn to lie better if you want to shine in Slytherin, Severus.”
*
There was one thing Severus hadn't considered about the Obfuscatus which was that if someone didn't notice you were there it made them far more likely to crash into you, and then they'd notice you in a hurry. For someone like Lily, who was attractive and largely considered benign, the potion could manage it -- she was just some random student, quickly forgotten. Severus, though, had something people seized on when they actually noticed him -- he didn't know if it was his magic, his nose or just some unfortunate and not very useful instance of charisma, but based on a collision in the hall outside their co-opted potions classroom, it was a definite problem.
"So just look where you're going!" Lily hissed at him, leading the way as she followed her map of dubious origin.
"I'm concerned about the door," Severus ground out.
"Wha -- oh."
"Yes, oh," Severus snapped.
"You're intolerable. This is supposed to be fun."
"No, it's not. We're testing a potion, the efficacy of which still seems dubious --"
"Maybe for you."
"And," he continued as if she had not interrupted, "we're crashing a party we're more than not wanted at."
"Sometimes I'm surprised they'll play quidditch with us," Lily said absently, trying to make sense of the map and find the best place to intersect Prewett.
"Are we supposed to be bad at that too?" Severus asked, stung a little. He supposed he didn't really play quidditch well, but he could certainly stay on a broom and pitch quaffles to Cissy, which was all that mattered to him.
"No, but like if there was an accident or something, they might have to touch one of us."
Severus made a face. "Don't be stupid. That's not magical contact. Doesn't matter."
"Well, I suppose none of them would ever date a, well someone who wasn't...." She trailed off.
"Don't be such a girl."
"Narcissa is such a girl."
"Yes, and she's better at it than you."
Lily grabbed his arm and stopped him, pulling them against a wall. "What is wrong with you today?"
"General state, I thought that was already established. What's your problem? Pining for Sirius?"
"Oooooh, shut up!" Lily said and actually stamped her foot.
Severus shushed her and started walking again.
"How do you know you're going the right way?" Lily called after him.
"I don't. That's what you're for," he said, finally stopping and having the decency to wait for her.
*
While there was no portrait to contend with, the matter of getting through the door challenged them in exactly the manner Severus had been concerned with. Eventually, though, it was decided that Lily would dart in first behind another entrant and just drag Severus along after her. It worked, although just barely, as some Ravenclaw tried to figure out why he'd walked into a wall that seemed a good foot away.
"Come on," Lily hissed, dragging Severus into a space between bookcases. He triped and nearly fell into one of them, and Lily had to wonder at his clumsiness. "What did you do, feed it to the shelves too?" she asked.
Severus made a considering noise, running a hand up the side of the bookcase. "I wonder if it would work on a contact basis."
Lily tugged on his wrist to get him back to the more relevant topic, that being the purebloods and their party.
"In my house," Agie Wittland was saying, "we're extremely traditional - switch with the servants and all. My mother wrote to say sister won't come home anymore because it's barely better than elves." The girls he was talking to tittered.
"We just switch among ourselves," Gaspard Loach said, joining them and slinging an arm around Agie.
"That's a little creepy, and there's too many of you besides."
"They felt it was their duty to our society to have girls," he said smugly. The girls preened.
"There are eleven of you!" Agie said.
"And two girls!"
"Well, I'm sure they'll be very expensive."
"So?"
"We'd switch with the neighbors, houses and all," one of the girls, Celestina Merrin, said, earnestly.
Agie rolled his eyes. "Fucking Hufflepuffs," he murmured to Gaspard as he steered him out of the conversation.
"Fucking boys," Celestina said to her friends, more sadly than with wrath.
Lily gave Severus a look, and he returned it, although he wasn't entirely clear on what she was trying to convey.
"We can begin now," came a call from the door.
Severus popped his head around the bookcase to look, and sure enough there was Sirius proclaiming victory over nothing in particular, James strutting about like some unfortunately sentient bird, Remus looking faintly queasy and Peter just hoping his big and slightly befuddled smile was enough.
"How can you stand to share a house with them?" Severus whispered to Lily.
"I can't," she said, still irritated.
Other students clustered around them, by and large the Slytherins showing the least interest, although Regulus did go over to his brother, Narcissa in tow.
Severus had to stifle a little laugh when Sirius essentially ignored her on the grounds that she was both too small and girlish to merit his attention. She stomped off and Regulus seemed to deflate a bit at that.
"You can't marry her," Sirius said to his brother just to be obnoxious. "She's a cousin, there's no alliances in it."
"I don't want to marry her," Regulus said wistfully. "I just want you to be nice to her. She's my best friend."
"Why?" Sirius drawled. "Her side of the family is even crazier than ours." Then he turned to James, shoved him hard in the back and declared, "Punch before polyjuice!" before his little clique headed for the refreshments.
"That whole family," Lily muttered under her breath, and Severus had to grit his teeth not to yell at her. If only he'd been at this party officially, Severus felt sure he would have made certain that conversation had gone much differently.
"He's awful, just awful," Severus could hear Narcissa saying, and from the tone, he could tell her hands were probably balled into ferocious fists.
Regulus sighed. "I know."
"I'm going to tell Severus."
"I know that too. For all the good that will do. Look, this family heir business is making him nuts, he didn't mean it."
"Didn't mean it? Sirius Black means everything he does always. It's why he's in that house!"
Severus watched Regulus pondering this. It was an interesting, and not seemingly inaccurate, assessment both of his brother's character and that of one quarter of the school. Silly fools.
*
Lily elbowed Severus excitedly (and he grunted in annoyance) as Quintus Manx, Slytherin head boy, called for silence.
"Now, I could give a long speech about the history of this night and our various Family traditions. I could also speak about what an unfortunately rare privilege it is to be amongst the truest and best of wizarding society, for this gathering shows us our peers, our futures and our friends. But the fact remains that this night is a student tradition, as much as a pureblood one, and so I must also encourage everyone to raise their glass to Hogwarts -- may it be finer!"
With that, Quintus unveiled a table full of row upon row of the lumpy, bubbling mess that was polyjuice, pulled a hair from his own head, dropped it in one of the glasses and smiled as the solution changed color.
"You know what to do," he called, and each of the attendees, with no real sense of order did the same. When they were done and all had stepped back from the table, he muttered a few quick charms to jumble the glasses, and Severus had to admire the wandwork that spilled nothing. As the other pureblood students stepped in to choose a glass, Severus noticed that some of them looked excited while others clearly seemed vaguely nauseated already. Grimly, he hoped someone had made a mistake on the brewing, although he suspected they might have well paid an actual professional to do it and had it shipped in, that is if they hadn't bribed old Sluggy himself.
When everyone had a glass, Sophia Bertram, the sixth year Ravenclaw prefect, sent a charmed fog out of the tip of her wand, as Quintus called for silence, and then chanted, "Round and round you go, where you turn, no one knows..."
Severus gritted his teeth as the sounds of people circling, bumping into each other and giggling came through the fog. Lily pressed his hand, but he yanked it away.
When the fog dissipated, events had followed through to their natural conclusion. Even so, Severus could not quite believe his eyes. He looked at Lily, whose mouth was open in something between a gape and a giggle. "Look at them," she hissed.
"Girls" were swimming in robes that were far too big for them. A couple of "boys" had hairy legs peeking out through dress-skirts. Whoever was wearing Sirius' flesh was gazing down at it with so much utter self-satisfaction that Severus couldn't restrain himself from poking Lily and whispering, "Do you think that arsehole drank his own polyjuice or does that smug look come with the face?"
Lily laughed, "I've no idea!"
A few more minutes passed as folk fell down in gales of hilarity, while trying to identify one another, and move about in unaccustomed clothes and flesh. Lily and Severus exchanged confused glances before their eyes were again riveted to the proceedings. Then Lily gleefully elbowed Severus in the ribs, saying "Look, look - I think it was one of the third year girls who's wearing James! Look at him in that skirt! It's like a mini on him or something. And that shirt makes his arms look like sausages. If only we had a camera."
Severus grinned malevolently. "Can't wait to let them hear all about it tomorrow!"
"Who do you love?" Lily said viciously, before smiling up at him with great sweetness.
"Myself, for making this potion - ow, Lily! Stop it! People will hear us."
"Guess that potion isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it now?"
Just then a high pitched voice rang out, "Games, everybody. Remember we only have an hour. First, -"
Whoever was wearing Quintus Manx said, "Hey mate, I don't know who you think you are, but I happen to be head-boy now!" and was greeted with an uproarious chorus of laughter. "I say we play Seven Minutes in Merlin's Cave..."
"Let's make it two minutes," someone wearing a second year Hufflepuff girl in boys' clothes far too large for them squeaked, and then gaped at the sound of his altered voice.
"Yeah, we don't have much time," one of the boys who had gotten off easy, and was somehow miraculously wearing someone whose clothes at least were approximately the right size and gender, "and we'll have to play 'Guess' before we turn back.
Severus watched the revelry begin as partners and numbers were chosen, and hilariously mismatched pairs drifted off to an alcove in turn. He felt the smile slide off his face. He raged helplessly at the fate that had made him stand apart, always observing. What would he have to do to belong here?
Lily nudged him. "Sometimes I hate it here," she said in a low tone. "Or maybe just them. Do you miss home, Severus?"
"No," he ground out fiercely. "Never."
In silence now for several minutes, they watched their school-mates laugh and chatter as they played.
"We shouldn't be here," Severus muttered finally.
"Why?"
"We should wait till we're invited. It's...demeaning to sneak into these things."
"Invited?" Lily whispered furiously. "We're never going to be invited, Severus."
"You may not be," Severus flung back at her, "but I will."
"You think because Narcissa lets you fawn at her heels, she'll bring you to one of these things someday? You're nothing but a toy to her, Sev!"
Severus glared at her full force, feeling white-hot rage explode in pinpoints in his brain. He almost couldn't hear her continue.
"Nothing's going to change in this world unless we make it change - not by sucking up to them, but by making them see-"
Just then she broke off, and seized his arm in a pincer-like grip, pulling him closer to the wall. "The door," she hissed at his uncomprehendingly angry face, and gestured with her head.
Sure enough, the door was creaking open, and Severus gulped in shock. Behind it was the headmaster - wearing an unwontedly serious face, with nary a twinkle in sight.
The party slowly noticed that they had admitted another, uninvited guest, and waves of shock emanated through the room. As they all stared open mouthed at the figure of Albus Dumbledore, he simply waited in the doorway until they had become completely quiet. Even then, he did not immediately speak, instead simply looking at them for several very long moments.
When he did finally begin, it was with no preamble, and his voice, usually so warm, could now only be described as icy. "I am afraid I must inform you that this gathering is now at an end. We will wait for the polyjuice to wear off - a few minutes should suffice, and then I wish you to return to your dormitories immediately."
As the students began protesting furiously, Dumbledore held up his hand for silence. "I do not believe I said that this was a matter for debate, and there is little about this gathering that you can tell me. I know this has been a long-standing tradition among students of a certain background, winked at by all and sundry. However, while I am headmaster, I have decided that it will continue no longer."
He looked down at the sullen young faces clustered before him, and his voice softened ever so slightly. "Nothing of this nature will be again permitted at Hogwarts...unless it should include all its students. You are one school, children. Try and act like it."
The students all looked at each other blankly, and then slowly the displaced air began to pop as they stretched and distorted sickeningly back to their original forms. Severus felt his stomach roil as he watched them.
"All students," and here Dumbledore looked straight at Severus and Lily, "should return to their beds immediately."
The air in the room had flattened, and everyone looked deflated - most were sullen and angry, while a few like Remus and James simply looked thoughtful. Quintus Manx was obviously choking back an angry complaint, but choosing to stand on his dignity, simply gestured to his schoolmates to form lines and march out of the room.
Dumbledore waited till the last student had filed out - Severus and Lily having attached themselves to the end of the line- and then closed the door.
Lily pulled a resisting Severus into an embrasure, and they turned to watch Dumbledore put out a hand and pat the castle wall briefly - as if for comfort - before walking down the hallway towards a staircase.
The two friends goggled at each other before Severus remembered that they had been fighting when they were interrupted, and pulled away from Lily's hand. He glared at her, but was unable to find the words to tell her exactly how furious she'd made him.
She looked at him gravely before extending her hand towards him again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, you shouldn't," Severus said wearily, unable to muster up enough anger to continue the fight. With any one else, maybe. But Lily? His oldest, dearest friend who always knew when she had pushed him too far? He couldn't lose one of the few things he did have, while mourning all that he'd never be given a chance to see.
"Pax?" she asked hopefully.
"Whatever," Severus said ungraciously. He might have to give in, but damned if he'd do it sweetly.
"Walk me to the staircase?"
Severus didn't deign to answer, but headed off in that direction so that she had to scamper to keep up. They walked together silently for a while, before Lily could keep quiet no longer. "Can I just say one thing?"
Severus grunted.
"Wasn't that great? Don't you feel vindicated? Isn't Dumbledore fantastic?"
"That's three things."
"Seriously, Sev," Lily said, stamping her foot.
"Don't call me that," he snapped.
"Seriously, Sev-er-us," she said, drawing out all the syllables of his name.
"He's a great wizard, Lily. We all know that. That doesn't make him right."
"I don't understand how you can feel this way! I mean, it's so-"
"What if I don't want it to change?" Severus interjected softly.
"I don't understand."
"I like this world the way it is," he said with a great effort.
"Even when there's no room in it for you? Or for me?"
Even then, Severus thought fiercely. Even then. "Here's your staircase," he said instead.
"Good night," she said stiffly, and began to climb without waiting for a reply. He stood there for a moment, watching her, as he spared a brief thought as to the inconsistency and general inexplicable nature of girls and everything they did. Hoping that Cissy would be too busy sulking after tonight's debacle to notice his silence, he trudged towards his dormitory. Severus rather thought he'd best keep his adventures - all of them - quite to himself for once. And he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that he and Lily had fought. She would enjoy it far too much.
Then he felt arms go 'round his waist and he yelped in surprise.
"Good night, Severus," Lily whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry!" and pressed a brief, clumsy kiss somewhere in the neighborhood of his cheek before fleeing down the hallway.
Severus shook his head, but couldn't keep from the corners of his mouth turning up, just a little, as he touched his cheek in surprise. There was one more thing he wouldn't be able to tell Cissy, he thought.
end
SERIES: Facilis Descensus Averno: BACKSTORY {A Descensus Hallowe'en Tale}
CHARACTERS: Severus Snape, Narcissa Black, Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Albus Dumbledore and many other Hogwarts students.
AUTHORS: kalichan & rm
RATING: 13+
WARNINGS: Gryffindors, Marauders, accidental cross-dressing, recreational potion use, Hogwarts traditions, pure-blood bigotry, carnivalesque
SUMMARY: Severus and Lily's Hallowe'en Adventure[s].
FEEDBACK: early and often if you so desire
AUTHORS' NOTE: This story, complete with relationships etc. was actually begun for last Halloween - but life happened. Still, we're happy to have been right about a few things, although now we can't prove our awesome predictive powers. Happy Halloween!
ARCHIVING: please ask
"Severus, you can't. We've been over this a hundred times," Narcissa said, strain wrestling with amusement in her voice.
"Because it doesn't make any sense," he replied dryly, flipping through a book at random and pretending to ignore his friend.
"Yes, it does! It's for the Families."
"Why? Are you going to drink each other's blood?" He looked up at her smugly.
Narcissa shoved him, not at all sure she was amused anymore. "No. We switch --"
"Yes?"
"It's like sex, you don't, you can't do it with --" she stopped and flapped her hands in frustration. "Not in public! Blood doesn't mix in certain ways, you know that, I've explained --"
"You know who my mother is," he tried.
"Yes, and not your father."
Severus made a face.
"No. Even if the taint was on the other side. We can't. I can't! Why are you so difficult?"
"Because you sleep in my bed, but you won't let me go --"
"To a stupid party! It's a stupid party, Severus! That's all! Just think, you won't have to spend the night vomiting up sausages and turkish delight because you overdosed on polyjuice."
The boy made a face. "Why you haven't all died from stupidity..." he said under his breath.
Narcissa hit him. "Stop that!" She growled then, mainly because it was fun, and also because Severus was too frustrating for words. "Why do you have to be so smart," she said hitting his shoulder again. "You're not supposed to be this smart!"
"Well, neither are you," Severus said, crossing his arms over his chest in a huff. "You're supposed to be decorative."
"I am!" Narcissa protested.
"Merely," he clarified.
"Oh, no, not merely."
Severus smirked. "Don't you get mad when they won't let you do things because you're a girl?"
"There are reasons for those things," she said sternly, although the truth was that of course she did get mad, all the time.
"Do you really think something terrible would happen if you took polyjuice and decided to be me?"
"Well, I wouldn't be very decorative anymore."
"Cissy?"
"Yes?" she said pertly.
"Go away."
"I'll tell you about it after. It'll be very boring, but maybe Sirius and James will vomit," she said hopefully.
"On you," he said dryly.
Narcissa gave another huff of annoyance and stormed out, wondering if Severus would ever understand anything.
Severus sighed, hating Halloween.
*
"James, stop touching me!" Lily snapped as she rapped his knuckles with the back of a spoon. He wasn't stupid, so she couldn't figure out why he thought he was funny when he was just being boorish.
Peter laughed, Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus hunched down a bit farther in his seat in response; the truth was, he was embarrassed by James' behavior, but also felt guilty for being embarrassed by his friends.
"We do try to control him, Lily," he said apologetically, and although it wasn't a joke, Sirius howled as if his friend were a comic genius. Remus smiled weakly. He did like them, adore them, in spite of everything -- the best friends anyone could have; he just wished he weren't so often the voice of reason. Or apology.
"I'm just practicing for later," James said, trying to be charming.
Lily frowned. "Your stupid special party?"
"It's not stupid."
"It wouldn't be if you didn't keep bragging about it."
"It's in the dungeons," he whispered not quietly at all. "If you think you're annoyed now, imagine the Slytherins when we get done with them."
"Right now they're earning my sympathy," she said, brandishing a candy apple dangerously close to James' face.
Remus tried to pretend he wasn't paying attention, lest it be obvious how much he agreed with her. He didn't even really want to go. He'd had enough of nasty potions in his life without being made to drink a whole lot of them in the name of a party. That said, he was sort of amused by someone else getting to be a werewolf for a few hours and not even knowing it. He felt a little treacherous, but his library research (helped by Lily) had assured him it was safe, and that was nice, nicer than anything, even if Lily couldn't come with them and James was being an awful prat.
"Wish Snivellus had better blood," Sirius said absently.
"Sirius," Remus said, clearly weary.
"What?"
"I'm glad not to be dealing with that tonight. I thought you would be too."
"Yeah, but what am I going to do instead? Talk to my brother?"
"You should more."
"Why, so I can hear about how disappointed my father is? Again?"
"Maybe if you didn't --"
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Just, be glad you're poor for once, okay?" Sirius said, not unkindly.
"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.
"It's fine," Remus told her, leaning against her for a moment. "I'm the poorest and least miserable of the lot. And you've the worst blood and won't have to witness this fiasco of a party. I think we win."
"Maybe I'll sneak in," she said, half ignoring Remus.
"You can't do that," Peter said.
"Why not?"
"You can't. You're not --"
"I'm cleverer than you," she said, not cruelly, but a bit sharp.
"Good thing he doesn't have to sneak in then, eh?" Sirius said, nudging Peter and winking at Lily who just rolled her eyes and clunked the remains of the candy apple down on the table.
Remus sighed as Lily climbed over the bench. "Excuse me, boys, while I go enjoy my own exclusivity," she said with a bit of a bow before scooping a handful of candied pumpkin seeds from the table. She pitched one at Severus' back as she passed the Slytherins. He turned with a scowl and she smiled and jerked her head. Tonight she figured that her best friend, all his bad manners aside, might be the most perfect companion a muggleborn girl could have. For once.
*
Severus waited a suitable amount of time after Lily passed by before getting up from his seat and heading down to the senior potions laboratory. Slughorn may have been lazy at keeping order, but he had his uses - and one of them was free use of the smaller lab for interested and advanced students.
They could certainly count on it being empty. All the ridiculous excess of holiday festivities -that seemed designed to point out to him in every particular what he was forever outcast from- would at least ensure that no one would be trying to complete extra work this afternoon.
He wondered what his oldest friend wanted from him, not wanting to admit that he was grateful for her interruption of his thoughts, which were even blacker and more desolate than usual. Cissy’s careful little euphemisms were still stinging in his memory, and everyone had stayed far away from his scowl at the table. Lily, however, had no sense of discretion in such matters and never seemed to allow his frown to dissuade her from approaching him. More fool, she, Severus thought, although he was conscious of a small glow at the idea.
He opened the door of the tiny little laboratory, and found Lily sitting on a desk, examining a large irregular piece of parchment in the corner of a room.
“Well?” he asked.
“Well, what?” she said, looking up at him and smiling.
“What do you want?”
“Why do you think I want something?” she said. “Perhaps we’ve simply met here by happenstance.”
“Did I imagine that candied projectile hitting my head? Besides, you always want something,” he said, eying the parchment. “What’s that? An essay not coming along as brilliantly as it should? You require some help that you’ll never acknowledge but will happily accept full credit for? Perhaps Slughorn will drag out his ‘As clever as she is beautiful,’ line, and you can live on that for days.”
“You’ve never minded that before,” Lily said, putting the parchment down and standing up. “Or using my charms in your inventions either - but that’s right, no one can know about those, so I suppose the whole question of acknowledgement is really up to you and your secrets, isn’t it? You’re the one who likes things hidden.”
Severus scowled at her.
“If you’re just going to be unpleasant, Severus, why did you come?”
“You asked me to,” he said sullenly. “Don’t I always come when you ask?”
“You do,” she said. “Though not always graciously.”
“Grace is several galleons extra,” he said, sitting down.
“Being poor, I suppose I’ll have to make do without. What’s got your knickers in a twist today?”
Severus grimaced.
“Let me see if I can figure it out - your little snaky friends were giving you a wide berth at lunch today. No Regulus trying to charm you out of your usual nastiness. No Narcissa Black sitting next to you and encouraging all your worst tendencies. Why was that?”
“They know better - unlike you, apparently.”
“Perhaps they’re part of the problem?”
“Perhaps.”
“It’s that party, isn’t it?”
“What party?”
“Don’t insult me, Severus. You know what I’m talking about. The pureblood party after the feast.”
“Are you really supposed to know about that?”
“No more than you are.”
“Actually, that’s not completely true. My mother-”
“When are you going to get it through your head - no one cares about your mother? They only care that you’re not one of them…”
“It’s better than being a mudb-”
“You really don’t want to finish that,” Lily said, very quietly and steadily. “You don’t get to speak like that to me.” She turned her back on him.
After a long silence, Severus cleared his throat. “Lily?” he tried.
She didn’t answer.
“Lily, I’m…you’re right. I won’t do it again.”
She faced him again. “See that you don’t,” she said, after a long silence. “I’ll never forgive you if you do.”
“I won’t,” he said, resolving never to say it aloud, even though it was true. “So what was your point?”
“My point?”
“About the party?”
“Right, that party that you claim not to know about?”
“Exactly.”
“I want to sneak in and watch.”
“What?”
“And I want you to come with me.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?” she asked, grinning.
“No particular reason. Except that it’s in a secret room and neither you nor I know where it is. Or perhaps that we’ve not got any polyjuice, and even if we did, all the purebloods will be going to the party - we can’t double up people, or they’ll know someone’s crashed it. Or perhaps it’s just that it’s the most insane idea you’ve ever generated.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve had lots of ideas that you don’t know anything about.”
Severus glared at her.
“You want to go, don’t you? You want to see what it’s about? If I could figure out a way past all those obstacles you mentioned, you’d go, wouldn’t you?”
“Maybe,” he said, and she knew that was as good as she was going to get.
“Look at that,” she said, and pointed to the parchment she had been examining when he walked in. “But don’t get any closer.”
“Why not?”
“It’s…not exactly mine.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a map of Hogwarts. It’s only half done, if that, but where it’s finished - it’s one of the most complete maps I’ve ever seen. It’s even enchanted to show people moving around on it!”
“Let me see! Where did you get it?”
“I…um…borrowed it,” she said, standing in his way.
“You stole it?” he asked disbelievingly, as he tried to get past her without shoving her bodily aside.
“Not really, I’m going to give it back, and you can’t see it, so stop trying.”
“Who does it belong to?”
“I can’t tell you that - but never mind. That’s not the point.”
“I think you must be the most unbearable person I’ve ever known,” he said. “Fucking Gryffindors.” He turned to storm off in a huff, but she grabbed his arm before he could leave.
“As we’ve already established this evening, you can’t expect me to keep your secrets and give away other people’s. Anyway, those concerned won’t miss it tonight, and I’ll return it tomorrow. But look - it’s not done. But the dungeon area seems to be finished. And one of the people marked in there is Gideon Prewett - he’ll definitely be going to the party tonight. All we have to do is follow his dot!”
“Fine!” he said, angrily. “And then, what? Just waltz in?”
“Precisely. Except, first you’ll promise me that you won’t try to look at this map. And then you’ll brew us up that Obfuscatus potion you’ve been working on. We won’t be invisible exactly but no one will notice us! That is, if your potion works as you think it does.”
Severus groaned, and sat down.
“Why are you sighing?” Lily asked. “Don’t you think we can do it?”
“No, I know we can do it.”
“Then what?” she said, bouncing happily.
“I’m just not sure that we should. But we’re going to anyway, aren’t we?”
Lily nodded.
“Of course we are," Severus sighed before snapping, "Well, what are you waiting for? Get the pewter cauldron.”
“Oh, and Lily?” he called after her.
“What?”
“I loathe you with every fiber of my being. You know that, don’t you?”
She laughed as she rummaged through the supply cabinet. “You’d better learn to lie better if you want to shine in Slytherin, Severus.”
*
There was one thing Severus hadn't considered about the Obfuscatus which was that if someone didn't notice you were there it made them far more likely to crash into you, and then they'd notice you in a hurry. For someone like Lily, who was attractive and largely considered benign, the potion could manage it -- she was just some random student, quickly forgotten. Severus, though, had something people seized on when they actually noticed him -- he didn't know if it was his magic, his nose or just some unfortunate and not very useful instance of charisma, but based on a collision in the hall outside their co-opted potions classroom, it was a definite problem.
"So just look where you're going!" Lily hissed at him, leading the way as she followed her map of dubious origin.
"I'm concerned about the door," Severus ground out.
"Wha -- oh."
"Yes, oh," Severus snapped.
"You're intolerable. This is supposed to be fun."
"No, it's not. We're testing a potion, the efficacy of which still seems dubious --"
"Maybe for you."
"And," he continued as if she had not interrupted, "we're crashing a party we're more than not wanted at."
"Sometimes I'm surprised they'll play quidditch with us," Lily said absently, trying to make sense of the map and find the best place to intersect Prewett.
"Are we supposed to be bad at that too?" Severus asked, stung a little. He supposed he didn't really play quidditch well, but he could certainly stay on a broom and pitch quaffles to Cissy, which was all that mattered to him.
"No, but like if there was an accident or something, they might have to touch one of us."
Severus made a face. "Don't be stupid. That's not magical contact. Doesn't matter."
"Well, I suppose none of them would ever date a, well someone who wasn't...." She trailed off.
"Don't be such a girl."
"Narcissa is such a girl."
"Yes, and she's better at it than you."
Lily grabbed his arm and stopped him, pulling them against a wall. "What is wrong with you today?"
"General state, I thought that was already established. What's your problem? Pining for Sirius?"
"Oooooh, shut up!" Lily said and actually stamped her foot.
Severus shushed her and started walking again.
"How do you know you're going the right way?" Lily called after him.
"I don't. That's what you're for," he said, finally stopping and having the decency to wait for her.
*
While there was no portrait to contend with, the matter of getting through the door challenged them in exactly the manner Severus had been concerned with. Eventually, though, it was decided that Lily would dart in first behind another entrant and just drag Severus along after her. It worked, although just barely, as some Ravenclaw tried to figure out why he'd walked into a wall that seemed a good foot away.
"Come on," Lily hissed, dragging Severus into a space between bookcases. He triped and nearly fell into one of them, and Lily had to wonder at his clumsiness. "What did you do, feed it to the shelves too?" she asked.
Severus made a considering noise, running a hand up the side of the bookcase. "I wonder if it would work on a contact basis."
Lily tugged on his wrist to get him back to the more relevant topic, that being the purebloods and their party.
"In my house," Agie Wittland was saying, "we're extremely traditional - switch with the servants and all. My mother wrote to say sister won't come home anymore because it's barely better than elves." The girls he was talking to tittered.
"We just switch among ourselves," Gaspard Loach said, joining them and slinging an arm around Agie.
"That's a little creepy, and there's too many of you besides."
"They felt it was their duty to our society to have girls," he said smugly. The girls preened.
"There are eleven of you!" Agie said.
"And two girls!"
"Well, I'm sure they'll be very expensive."
"So?"
"We'd switch with the neighbors, houses and all," one of the girls, Celestina Merrin, said, earnestly.
Agie rolled his eyes. "Fucking Hufflepuffs," he murmured to Gaspard as he steered him out of the conversation.
"Fucking boys," Celestina said to her friends, more sadly than with wrath.
Lily gave Severus a look, and he returned it, although he wasn't entirely clear on what she was trying to convey.
"We can begin now," came a call from the door.
Severus popped his head around the bookcase to look, and sure enough there was Sirius proclaiming victory over nothing in particular, James strutting about like some unfortunately sentient bird, Remus looking faintly queasy and Peter just hoping his big and slightly befuddled smile was enough.
"How can you stand to share a house with them?" Severus whispered to Lily.
"I can't," she said, still irritated.
Other students clustered around them, by and large the Slytherins showing the least interest, although Regulus did go over to his brother, Narcissa in tow.
Severus had to stifle a little laugh when Sirius essentially ignored her on the grounds that she was both too small and girlish to merit his attention. She stomped off and Regulus seemed to deflate a bit at that.
"You can't marry her," Sirius said to his brother just to be obnoxious. "She's a cousin, there's no alliances in it."
"I don't want to marry her," Regulus said wistfully. "I just want you to be nice to her. She's my best friend."
"Why?" Sirius drawled. "Her side of the family is even crazier than ours." Then he turned to James, shoved him hard in the back and declared, "Punch before polyjuice!" before his little clique headed for the refreshments.
"That whole family," Lily muttered under her breath, and Severus had to grit his teeth not to yell at her. If only he'd been at this party officially, Severus felt sure he would have made certain that conversation had gone much differently.
"He's awful, just awful," Severus could hear Narcissa saying, and from the tone, he could tell her hands were probably balled into ferocious fists.
Regulus sighed. "I know."
"I'm going to tell Severus."
"I know that too. For all the good that will do. Look, this family heir business is making him nuts, he didn't mean it."
"Didn't mean it? Sirius Black means everything he does always. It's why he's in that house!"
Severus watched Regulus pondering this. It was an interesting, and not seemingly inaccurate, assessment both of his brother's character and that of one quarter of the school. Silly fools.
*
Lily elbowed Severus excitedly (and he grunted in annoyance) as Quintus Manx, Slytherin head boy, called for silence.
"Now, I could give a long speech about the history of this night and our various Family traditions. I could also speak about what an unfortunately rare privilege it is to be amongst the truest and best of wizarding society, for this gathering shows us our peers, our futures and our friends. But the fact remains that this night is a student tradition, as much as a pureblood one, and so I must also encourage everyone to raise their glass to Hogwarts -- may it be finer!"
With that, Quintus unveiled a table full of row upon row of the lumpy, bubbling mess that was polyjuice, pulled a hair from his own head, dropped it in one of the glasses and smiled as the solution changed color.
"You know what to do," he called, and each of the attendees, with no real sense of order did the same. When they were done and all had stepped back from the table, he muttered a few quick charms to jumble the glasses, and Severus had to admire the wandwork that spilled nothing. As the other pureblood students stepped in to choose a glass, Severus noticed that some of them looked excited while others clearly seemed vaguely nauseated already. Grimly, he hoped someone had made a mistake on the brewing, although he suspected they might have well paid an actual professional to do it and had it shipped in, that is if they hadn't bribed old Sluggy himself.
When everyone had a glass, Sophia Bertram, the sixth year Ravenclaw prefect, sent a charmed fog out of the tip of her wand, as Quintus called for silence, and then chanted, "Round and round you go, where you turn, no one knows..."
Severus gritted his teeth as the sounds of people circling, bumping into each other and giggling came through the fog. Lily pressed his hand, but he yanked it away.
When the fog dissipated, events had followed through to their natural conclusion. Even so, Severus could not quite believe his eyes. He looked at Lily, whose mouth was open in something between a gape and a giggle. "Look at them," she hissed.
"Girls" were swimming in robes that were far too big for them. A couple of "boys" had hairy legs peeking out through dress-skirts. Whoever was wearing Sirius' flesh was gazing down at it with so much utter self-satisfaction that Severus couldn't restrain himself from poking Lily and whispering, "Do you think that arsehole drank his own polyjuice or does that smug look come with the face?"
Lily laughed, "I've no idea!"
A few more minutes passed as folk fell down in gales of hilarity, while trying to identify one another, and move about in unaccustomed clothes and flesh. Lily and Severus exchanged confused glances before their eyes were again riveted to the proceedings. Then Lily gleefully elbowed Severus in the ribs, saying "Look, look - I think it was one of the third year girls who's wearing James! Look at him in that skirt! It's like a mini on him or something. And that shirt makes his arms look like sausages. If only we had a camera."
Severus grinned malevolently. "Can't wait to let them hear all about it tomorrow!"
"Who do you love?" Lily said viciously, before smiling up at him with great sweetness.
"Myself, for making this potion - ow, Lily! Stop it! People will hear us."
"Guess that potion isn't all it's cracked up to be, is it now?"
Just then a high pitched voice rang out, "Games, everybody. Remember we only have an hour. First, -"
Whoever was wearing Quintus Manx said, "Hey mate, I don't know who you think you are, but I happen to be head-boy now!" and was greeted with an uproarious chorus of laughter. "I say we play Seven Minutes in Merlin's Cave..."
"Let's make it two minutes," someone wearing a second year Hufflepuff girl in boys' clothes far too large for them squeaked, and then gaped at the sound of his altered voice.
"Yeah, we don't have much time," one of the boys who had gotten off easy, and was somehow miraculously wearing someone whose clothes at least were approximately the right size and gender, "and we'll have to play 'Guess' before we turn back.
Severus watched the revelry begin as partners and numbers were chosen, and hilariously mismatched pairs drifted off to an alcove in turn. He felt the smile slide off his face. He raged helplessly at the fate that had made him stand apart, always observing. What would he have to do to belong here?
Lily nudged him. "Sometimes I hate it here," she said in a low tone. "Or maybe just them. Do you miss home, Severus?"
"No," he ground out fiercely. "Never."
In silence now for several minutes, they watched their school-mates laugh and chatter as they played.
"We shouldn't be here," Severus muttered finally.
"Why?"
"We should wait till we're invited. It's...demeaning to sneak into these things."
"Invited?" Lily whispered furiously. "We're never going to be invited, Severus."
"You may not be," Severus flung back at her, "but I will."
"You think because Narcissa lets you fawn at her heels, she'll bring you to one of these things someday? You're nothing but a toy to her, Sev!"
Severus glared at her full force, feeling white-hot rage explode in pinpoints in his brain. He almost couldn't hear her continue.
"Nothing's going to change in this world unless we make it change - not by sucking up to them, but by making them see-"
Just then she broke off, and seized his arm in a pincer-like grip, pulling him closer to the wall. "The door," she hissed at his uncomprehendingly angry face, and gestured with her head.
Sure enough, the door was creaking open, and Severus gulped in shock. Behind it was the headmaster - wearing an unwontedly serious face, with nary a twinkle in sight.
The party slowly noticed that they had admitted another, uninvited guest, and waves of shock emanated through the room. As they all stared open mouthed at the figure of Albus Dumbledore, he simply waited in the doorway until they had become completely quiet. Even then, he did not immediately speak, instead simply looking at them for several very long moments.
When he did finally begin, it was with no preamble, and his voice, usually so warm, could now only be described as icy. "I am afraid I must inform you that this gathering is now at an end. We will wait for the polyjuice to wear off - a few minutes should suffice, and then I wish you to return to your dormitories immediately."
As the students began protesting furiously, Dumbledore held up his hand for silence. "I do not believe I said that this was a matter for debate, and there is little about this gathering that you can tell me. I know this has been a long-standing tradition among students of a certain background, winked at by all and sundry. However, while I am headmaster, I have decided that it will continue no longer."
He looked down at the sullen young faces clustered before him, and his voice softened ever so slightly. "Nothing of this nature will be again permitted at Hogwarts...unless it should include all its students. You are one school, children. Try and act like it."
The students all looked at each other blankly, and then slowly the displaced air began to pop as they stretched and distorted sickeningly back to their original forms. Severus felt his stomach roil as he watched them.
"All students," and here Dumbledore looked straight at Severus and Lily, "should return to their beds immediately."
The air in the room had flattened, and everyone looked deflated - most were sullen and angry, while a few like Remus and James simply looked thoughtful. Quintus Manx was obviously choking back an angry complaint, but choosing to stand on his dignity, simply gestured to his schoolmates to form lines and march out of the room.
Dumbledore waited till the last student had filed out - Severus and Lily having attached themselves to the end of the line- and then closed the door.
Lily pulled a resisting Severus into an embrasure, and they turned to watch Dumbledore put out a hand and pat the castle wall briefly - as if for comfort - before walking down the hallway towards a staircase.
The two friends goggled at each other before Severus remembered that they had been fighting when they were interrupted, and pulled away from Lily's hand. He glared at her, but was unable to find the words to tell her exactly how furious she'd made him.
She looked at him gravely before extending her hand towards him again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, you shouldn't," Severus said wearily, unable to muster up enough anger to continue the fight. With any one else, maybe. But Lily? His oldest, dearest friend who always knew when she had pushed him too far? He couldn't lose one of the few things he did have, while mourning all that he'd never be given a chance to see.
"Pax?" she asked hopefully.
"Whatever," Severus said ungraciously. He might have to give in, but damned if he'd do it sweetly.
"Walk me to the staircase?"
Severus didn't deign to answer, but headed off in that direction so that she had to scamper to keep up. They walked together silently for a while, before Lily could keep quiet no longer. "Can I just say one thing?"
Severus grunted.
"Wasn't that great? Don't you feel vindicated? Isn't Dumbledore fantastic?"
"That's three things."
"Seriously, Sev," Lily said, stamping her foot.
"Don't call me that," he snapped.
"Seriously, Sev-er-us," she said, drawing out all the syllables of his name.
"He's a great wizard, Lily. We all know that. That doesn't make him right."
"I don't understand how you can feel this way! I mean, it's so-"
"What if I don't want it to change?" Severus interjected softly.
"I don't understand."
"I like this world the way it is," he said with a great effort.
"Even when there's no room in it for you? Or for me?"
Even then, Severus thought fiercely. Even then. "Here's your staircase," he said instead.
"Good night," she said stiffly, and began to climb without waiting for a reply. He stood there for a moment, watching her, as he spared a brief thought as to the inconsistency and general inexplicable nature of girls and everything they did. Hoping that Cissy would be too busy sulking after tonight's debacle to notice his silence, he trudged towards his dormitory. Severus rather thought he'd best keep his adventures - all of them - quite to himself for once. And he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that he and Lily had fought. She would enjoy it far too much.
Then he felt arms go 'round his waist and he yelped in surprise.
"Good night, Severus," Lily whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry!" and pressed a brief, clumsy kiss somewhere in the neighborhood of his cheek before fleeing down the hallway.
Severus shook his head, but couldn't keep from the corners of his mouth turning up, just a little, as he touched his cheek in surprise. There was one more thing he wouldn't be able to tell Cissy, he thought.
end