(no subject)
I'm just not happy. I haven't been happy for awhile. I just need to get away, and not for a vacation. It's not the people here, I love them all dearly and honestly don't know what I'm going to do without them. It's not even Louisville itself, I absolutely love this city. I just feel stuck. I feel too reliant on my parents. I know that in order for me to get my life together, I need to get away.
So...
The oppurtunity arose for me to go to San Francisco. I will admit, I was aprehensive at first. Everyone who knows me, knows I fear change. But, I think change is exactly what I need. Me being on the other side of the country will force me to get my life together.
And on that note, I'm going in a few months. Most likely August or September, the exact dates are still up in the air, but I'm dead serious about this.
I was really hesitant to talk to my mom. I didn't want to do it today, I especially didn't want to upset her, but I know that the sooner I told her the better, and I was having trouble keeping all of this from her. She was home from work today and I wanted to talk to her without my dad being around. I started off by telling her I just am not happy. She told me she all ready knew. I told her I felt like the only way to get my life back on track is to move away. She told me that she totally supports my decision and will miss me everyday, but will be happy for me. She said I shouldn't stay just because people are going to miss me, or because I'm going to miss other people. She told me should would have done the same thing if she was given the chance to.
That did it.
Everyone has been so supportive. I'm so relieved. I really didn't want to talk to my managers at work about this, but even they think its a great oppurtunity and I should do what's going to make me happy.
I don't really know what's going to make me happy. This might not fix things at all, but at least I can say I tried. But I know what's keeping me here. My family and my friends. That's about it. I know I can always come back, I know in time, I will come back.
But I also know I can actually go to school for something that i want to do, as opposed to going to school for something that I guess I would be happy doing, so that's a definite bonus, because we all know I'm definitely not going to go to UK. :D
Soooo... In the next few months I will be:
*Paying off my debts
*Saving lots of money
*Selling my car (that's a real heartbreaker, but I won't need it in SF)
*Looking for more roomies
*Trying to get one of the computers from my dad
I'm going to miss this place and everyone here so much. But, I figured I would come back every few months and stay for a week or two. Plus, it's San Francisco! Come visit!
So...
The oppurtunity arose for me to go to San Francisco. I will admit, I was aprehensive at first. Everyone who knows me, knows I fear change. But, I think change is exactly what I need. Me being on the other side of the country will force me to get my life together.
And on that note, I'm going in a few months. Most likely August or September, the exact dates are still up in the air, but I'm dead serious about this.
I was really hesitant to talk to my mom. I didn't want to do it today, I especially didn't want to upset her, but I know that the sooner I told her the better, and I was having trouble keeping all of this from her. She was home from work today and I wanted to talk to her without my dad being around. I started off by telling her I just am not happy. She told me she all ready knew. I told her I felt like the only way to get my life back on track is to move away. She told me that she totally supports my decision and will miss me everyday, but will be happy for me. She said I shouldn't stay just because people are going to miss me, or because I'm going to miss other people. She told me should would have done the same thing if she was given the chance to.
That did it.
Everyone has been so supportive. I'm so relieved. I really didn't want to talk to my managers at work about this, but even they think its a great oppurtunity and I should do what's going to make me happy.
I don't really know what's going to make me happy. This might not fix things at all, but at least I can say I tried. But I know what's keeping me here. My family and my friends. That's about it. I know I can always come back, I know in time, I will come back.
But I also know I can actually go to school for something that i want to do, as opposed to going to school for something that I guess I would be happy doing, so that's a definite bonus, because we all know I'm definitely not going to go to UK. :D
Soooo... In the next few months I will be:
*Paying off my debts
*Saving lots of money
*Selling my car (that's a real heartbreaker, but I won't need it in SF)
*Looking for more roomies
*Trying to get one of the computers from my dad
I'm going to miss this place and everyone here so much. But, I figured I would come back every few months and stay for a week or two. Plus, it's San Francisco! Come visit!