once upon a time there was light in my life.. but now there's only love in the dark..

May 02, 2005 14:21

jayson o'connell is fucking hott.

sorry about my last entry that was so WICKED long.

i had a lot to say.. about these last 3 or so weeks. lol.

Ooh.. we're good.

i should make this into a movie.. eventually in time..

it has a pretty sweet plot line.

today was another happy and awsome day, with the exceptance of one person.. ugh.

but whatever.

anywhoOo, yeah guitar was the best class.. like always.

i'm such a geek.

i went to go "look for missy" at the band room 'cause she was getting her guitar tuned by louie who was helping tyler out.

yeah when i turned the corner i see missy coming out of the band bathroom with a guitar.. lol.

well she was helping someone get access to the bathroom 'cause all the others were locked.

she told me louie was in the band room.. which i knew. lol.

she asked if i needed my guitar tuned too 'cause that's why she was sent there.. and i didn't 'cause i had just tuned my guitar.

so i stood in front of the band room doors untuning my guitar just so louie could tune it for me lol. missy laughed pretty hard. lol.

i walk in asking him to tune my guitar.

of course he said he would.. but i had to give him a hug.. WHICH WAS LIKE *sighs* WOW!! <--dork that i am. lol

i was in heaven for like 10 seconds and he asked me what else i was doing there besides getting my guitar tuned.. well retuned lol.

i told him how i was "looking for missy" and he said she went to the backroom.. with a guitar.. which was funny. lol.

then i told him how i actually stood in front of the band room untuning my guitar just so i could have him tune it.

he liked it. lol.

i needed an excuse to visit him.

it took him 10 minutes just about 'cause well i untuned it way too much and plus his guitar was untuned. haha.

yep.

after guiatr i headed to lunch with missy to find louie right next to me and then his butt on me. lol.

i almost ran into the window. lol.

i talked to him of course.

he said he'd talk to me later. lol.

eventually he had to go to ceremics and i had to go to lunch [sadly]..

so then i freaked out to missy.. well was about to but she cut me off after my major gasp and said "i know." lol.

so i freaked out in the lunch room.

big big big crush on him.

anyways, me and sarah had fun at lunch trying to get krissi's attention.

chemistry was a pain in the ass though.

we took notes and did a lab.

corey was talking about me.. and my boobs. o god. *changes subject*

last period was band and me and missy were late.

then when we got to class.. we had to pee and so did marissa.

marissa wanted me to scream when i peed. wtf?! lol.

me and missy didn't play our f chromatic scale even though we were suppose to.

haha bitches.

i told jay about the "sweet revenge on ruining ben daponte's life" and he laughed about it, espeically since ben cried on the phone and cried himself to sleep.

jay's a tease. that's besides the point.

on my way to my locker with missy, i ran into louie and hit his books. lol.

maybe i shouldn't tell all the details of my "love" life and well.. my pathetic life.

brought missy and sarah to work and now i'm home doing nothing.

i'm gonna listen to music and think about stuff.. since i sure as hell need to.

before i go.. my head's really fucked up.. again.. well still.. whatever

my emotions seem to be up in the air.

you might still be wondering.. or not know.. but yeah i still very much have feelings for gerry.

i love him.

but i don't like to talk about him and my feelings for him.. i never talk about it.. i find ways to avoid it.

he's found a girl, an AWSOME girl, who is my daughter miss cait ross.

all that's ever mattered was him, his feelings, his happiness..

he's happy and i wish him the best with what he wants and with what he has in life at the moment.

i accept EVERYTHING but my feelings for him are not going to go away.. not even a little bit.

for the time being.. i'm gonna take a chance and.. go for louie.. or something..

that's a pretty big risk.. out of my reach but we will see what happens. lol.

as for kevin? "mommy".. that's a whole other story.. complicated.. but i will explain myself and what i mean some other time.. hmm.. maybe. lol.

*
BOY: I saw her today
GIRL: I saw him today

BOY: It seems like its been forever
GIRL: I wonder if he still cares

BOY: She looks better than before
GIRL: I couldn't stop staring at him

BOY: I asked her how things were going
GIRL: I asked about his new girlfriend

BOY: I'd choose her over any girl im with
GIRL: He's probablly really happy right now

BOY: I couldnt look at her without starting to cry
GIRL: He couldnt even look at me

BOY: I told her I miss her
GIRL: He doesnt mean it

BOY: I meant it
GIRL: He didnt mean it

BOY: I love her
GIRL: He loves his new girlfriend

BOY: I held her for the last time
GIRL: He gave me a friendly hug

BOY: Then I went home and cried
GIRL: Then I went home and cried

BOY: I lost her
GIRL: I still love him

If you love / loved someone that you know you still have feelings for copy and paste this into your livejournal.
*

and that's all folks!

make sure you read the previous entry.. comment and ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!!
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