take a chance on me..

[derz714]

oo looky here.. i'm back and updating my own livejo. didn't do that much during the week. i worked tuesday, wednesday, and thursday as usual. wednesday ducky came in to give me a note. had guitar long period thursday. louie and mike were wicked funny. louie started playing how do you talk to an angel and then mike woulkd play it making "make-out" motions. then louie would randomlly play the beginning to the kids aren't alright.. and mike would go back into how do you talk to angel.. and louie once again would start jumping around as he played the beginning to the kids aren't alright. then mike got all serious and stood next to louie who was sitting down, and started to play the "solo" to the the kids aren't all right and then louie started to flip out and he spinned the guitar, bent over, and jumped around as he played it the beginning of it. me and missy like died laughing 'cause mike was "riding" louie. it was wicked funny. hung out with gerry thursday night. awsome conversation. didn't do any of my homework that night except my chemistry project. i got my geometry homework from tori and sarah and krissi helped me with u.s history. i went crazy yesterday morning before homeroom trying to do my homework. chemistry was depressing. missy started to break down and krissi was completely out of it. i felt like shit and could not stop thinking about shit. missy broke down at lunch. she shouldn't have played in band.. she was so out of it. marched around the track in band and like tripped about 5 times 'cause of my sandles. in english i had to pull her out of class so pasqual let us walk around the whole time. we talked about what was going on and i have been doing my best lately to be there for her and give her all the support she needs. after school i went over krissi's and we listened to music and chatted with her grandparents from florida. missy called and gave us the horrible news. me and krissi felt so bad and we still do. i talked to gerald online and then me and krissi decided to walk to the dollar store to get stuff to make for the talent show. aww we saw two old ladies walking and me and krissi were talking about how that was gonna be us when we are older.. of course i'll be the one with the cane. lol. then we saw shawn and paul driving by. we decided to go to seabra first to talk to gerry and follow him/bother him. lol. gerry found a tiny banana.. hmm i wonder.. i took the brocoli and used it as flowers pretending to wlak down the aile.. and krissi ate the grapes. lol. me and poco played with the mirrors and she kept swinging sex jokes about me. after about.. an hour lol.. we went to the dollar store and got markers, posters, etc. then i dragged krissi back to seabra so i could talk to gerald again. saw mr. chid there.. lol! we bought orbit gum, chips, a mag, and missy a card. then we finally went back to krissi's house. we made the posters and then us and meagan were on our way to the talent show. the talent show was fun and it got my mind off of a lot of things. then gerry had to call and gave us some information that made me freak out and punch the seat in front of me. i was bitchy and an asshole just about the rest of the night. called tyler right after the talent show and then me, krissi, sarah, and meagan waited for ducky to pick us up to bring up to bhop 'cause no one at krissi's was picking up.. later to find out they were already at bhop.well we dropped sarah off at home and well i wasn't even sitting on a seat i was sittin on air. lol. then i got wicked angry and started to shake krissi's seat for most of the ride. then at bhopwe got our drinks and gerry came. i was somewhat pissed at him but of course that died out 'cause i can never be pissed at gerry.. iono i just can't do it. it dies anyway. we ate well.. i only had two small bites. then ducky left and we went to dunkin donuts and hung out there and then cait called 'cause she wnated to get picked up.. so we went back to bhop and then we went to find cait.. which was somewhat a struggle. lol. later on i got dropped off and well i'll skip that part. i called krissi and then cait/gerry. got up early today for marching band practice. it was depressing.. extremely. i just wanted to cry so hard the whole time.. over missy's well-being and my feelings for someone. i love someone and i know i love him. nothing you can do or say to change my mind. i just know. he's awsome. there's nothing bad i can say about him no matter what people say. i don't have any problems in talking to him about anything. he's so easy to talk to and have fun with. no matter what, just seeing him and talking to him and what not puts a smile on my face and makes my days brighter. yeah maybe that sounds corny and pathetic but it's true. i love how he loves music like i do and yeah other guys do to but somehow i'm more.. so much more drawn to this guy. i can watch him play his instrument for hours and hours and i swear i could never get fed up or annoyed by it. to me he's very attractive.. my friends don't think so but i do.. and not because of his looks alone.. but because of the way he carries himself. it makes him so sexy and confidence is beautiful. his passion for music, the way he feels about a girl, and all he is willing to offer to a girl he cares about islike "whoa.. wow". i'm so drawn to him that i can't stop thinking about him and all i want is to be with him and spend time with him. through all this thinking, he was the only thing i looked forward to.. i'm so messed up but just hanging out with him and talking to him helped me put my troubles aside and just live my life. all my thinking and everything i have figured out has come to a halt.. 'cause now i know what i want and who i want it with and how my life should be lived. we only have one life and it's short so gotta make the best of it. it's his personality that catches me and no one's has ever had me feel this strong and has made me this drawn before. iono if this makes any sense but i feel safe just being around him and even so much of tlaking to him. there's just so much more i could say about why i feel the way i do over this guy. this thing is getting pretty long so i'mma end it here and update MYSELF some other time.

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missy- i will always be here for you no matter what.. just because we're not blood doesn't mean shit 'cause to me we're still family

krissi- we're getting back to normal and it's awsome! those old ladies will be us someday.. lol. oh and thanks for going through the mud.. lol. you are THE SHIT!!