(no subject)
The first girl I loved once told me that I have good retrospect. And in retrospect, I suppose I do. Even though I loved Jennifer and wanted her to be happy, I became an inconsiderate jerk along the way. Pretty much a dick. I do not wish to dwell on these facts because there are important things that need to be attended to, but I would like to reflect on it. I am sorry for not treating her the way that she deserved to be treated. The way I would have truly wanted to treat her. I appreciate everything she's done for me. She stuck by me for as long as she could. We both had our faults, and now I can fix my own. My own life has become important to me. I'm giving myself what I wanted others to know and have. Now I can realistically find a way to do just that. Just as I knew I couldn't love Jennifer the way I wanted to without first loving myself. She is with someone who I believe is better than anything my former self could have given her. Truthfully, I have to say that so I can believe that she will have a better life that I could have given her. I don't know what her life consists of anymore. But that is not a good or bad thing. It's just the way it is. Like in my previous post, I felt the pain of moving on. I still feel it from time to time since she still crosses my mind pretty often. It's not so bad no longer having our paths intertwine like it once had. I hope for all the best experiences, good and bad, along her journey. I will make the best of my life and hope to live as best as I can. To my future, I hope to love God and to love others to the fullest of my abilities. In doing so, I just might become a fine and genuine human being.