still alive
Well I'm still here. I've been busy, now that my daily commute is 100 miles. It's really horrifying to see the odometer go up so quickly. And the gas guage go down so quickly. The short version is the only place that offered my sorry self a job is a high school in Butler. My compelte lack of HS experience and the commute of death stress me out a lot. I guess I am trying to be relaxed and go with the flow or some shit. Which of course is a lie. Ollie starts school this week. He of course is fairly calm & confident. I love him so much, but I admit sometimes I am jealous. He has a lot of good reasons to be a mess, but he's all TUFF and loveable. Me, I'm just a mess. sigh. It's just the residue of the soulsucking job hunt. Every summer I try and look cute and appear confident, then watch as other people get jobs and I don't. The sort of good news is the distrcit where I am currently stumbling around as a high school librarian is huge and 2 of their librarians are probablly gonna retire in spring. So there's some hope there. I continue to hold out hope that the district I was a sub in for 1 & 1/2 years will have some people retire and I can return. I really loved working there, it was the best experience I've had so far.
One of my parent's good friends died this week. They found out last year he had a pretty serious type of cancer. (something to do with blood, I don't exactly recall.) He was doing alright, but suddenly, last sunday got seriously sick and died Tuesday night. He was one of my parents friends from college, and I always liked visiting him and his wife & kids. I think it's making me sadder than I've realized. It's hard enough dealing with grandparents dying, but when your parents have to start going to funerals of their friends, it makes you realize that you will have to deal with them dying. I still have a lot of dreams about my grandma, even 2 & /2 years later. If she is trying to tell me something, I wish she would make it clearer. Mostly the dreams just leave me with a vauge feeling that I should be looking for something.
Julia came home this weekend. She discovered a german store near her down in VA, and did she stop and get tasty treats for us? Nooooooooo. I see how it is. She has been busy babysitting her roommate who has had a LAP Band surgery in June and her wisdom teeth out last weekend. And that's on top of some mysterious kidney disorder that may eventually require a transplant. Yoi.
One of my parent's good friends died this week. They found out last year he had a pretty serious type of cancer. (something to do with blood, I don't exactly recall.) He was doing alright, but suddenly, last sunday got seriously sick and died Tuesday night. He was one of my parents friends from college, and I always liked visiting him and his wife & kids. I think it's making me sadder than I've realized. It's hard enough dealing with grandparents dying, but when your parents have to start going to funerals of their friends, it makes you realize that you will have to deal with them dying. I still have a lot of dreams about my grandma, even 2 & /2 years later. If she is trying to tell me something, I wish she would make it clearer. Mostly the dreams just leave me with a vauge feeling that I should be looking for something.
Julia came home this weekend. She discovered a german store near her down in VA, and did she stop and get tasty treats for us? Nooooooooo. I see how it is. She has been busy babysitting her roommate who has had a LAP Band surgery in June and her wisdom teeth out last weekend. And that's on top of some mysterious kidney disorder that may eventually require a transplant. Yoi.